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(KUTV Utah)   If your eccentric cousin worked the front desk of the In-Vitro Clinic where clients drop off their sperm, your family reunions may have an ever-growing story for years to cum   (kutv.com) divider line 79
    More: Strange, Family Re-Union, electroshock therapy, cousins, University of Utah  
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11892 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jan 2014 at 3:59 PM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-09 02:03:07 PM  
He's got the whole world in his hands!
 
2014-01-09 04:02:52 PM  
Midvale?

Obviously not a school for the gifted.
 
2014-01-09 04:05:16 PM  
That's ...that's pretty messed up, dude. That's the most devious cuckoldry I've ever heard of. Not even the wife knew.
 
2014-01-09 04:07:41 PM  
Say what you will about the eccentric cousin, he's got a lot of spunk.
 
2014-01-09 04:09:17 PM  
Patty Duke surrenders!
 
2014-01-09 04:11:14 PM  
Or.. She had sex with the guy.

How did she determine who's DNA it was?

WTF
 
2014-01-09 04:14:51 PM  

Stoj: Or.. She had sex with the guy.

How did she determine who's DNA it was?

WTF


Apparently the DNA test was her idea from the start. It seems unlikely she would do that if there were a shred of doubt in her mind about who the father was.
 
2014-01-09 04:14:55 PM  
Gotcha!
 
2014-01-09 04:18:28 PM  
That story hurt my head.  What the wut?
 
2014-01-09 04:18:49 PM  

MFAWG: Stoj: Or.. She had sex with the guy.

How did she determine who's DNA it was?

WTF

Apparently the DNA test was her idea from the start. It seems unlikely she would do that if there were a shred of doubt in her mind about who the father was.


I can think of several good reasons a person would bring this all to light.

1)lawsuit
2) lawsuit
Etc.

They thought it'd be fun to DNA test themselves?

"Family Night! Who's up for a game of UNO?"

"Hey let's test our DNA instead!"

"Great idea - get out the kits!"
 
2014-01-09 04:21:26 PM  
So, in darwinian terms, does this mean the sperm clinic guy wins?  He was able to spread his seed around quite a bit.
 
2014-01-09 04:21:27 PM  
"Eccentric", as in the kind of person who kidnaps a co-ed for 3 weeks conducting "love experiments" involving shock therapy to make them fall in love with him...

/there's always one in the family
 
2014-01-09 04:21:41 PM  

Stoj: MFAWG: Stoj: Or.. She had sex with the guy.

How did she determine who's DNA it was?

WTF

Apparently the DNA test was her idea from the start. It seems unlikely she would do that if there were a shred of doubt in her mind about who the father was.

I can think of several good reasons a person would bring this all to light.

1)lawsuit
2) lawsuit
Etc.

They thought it'd be fun to DNA test themselves?

"Family Night! Who's up for a game of UNO?"

"Hey let's test our DNA instead!"

"Great idea - get out the kits!"


So she intentionally had the cousin impregnate her 20 years ago so she could sue as soon as testing became affordable?

That's plausible, I guess.
 
2014-01-09 04:22:06 PM  
Quite honestly, I'd love it if there were a lot of kids out there sharing my DNA.

/that sounds a little creepy, don't it?
 
2014-01-09 04:22:17 PM  
holy shiat... that is a big crime...   I know they love their current daughter, but they where robbed of their "real" one...  so to speak.    must be a lot of conflicting emotions...
 
2014-01-09 04:24:06 PM  
I submitted this with a less confusing fark-ready headline: "Utah kidnapper is woman's father due to semen switch"

Cum to think of it, I don't think there is a language on this planet that could properly describe wtf happened.
 
2014-01-09 04:26:38 PM  
Ah, I had no idea this stuff existed.  Whatever - I still think this is all BS.

From another article:

Using another genetic networking site, AncestryDNA, the family found "Cheryl," who was related to Ashley but not to Paula. Cheryl responded to a message from Paula to offer some information: Her deceased cousin, Tom Lippert, had lived in Salt Lake City and been a sperm donor.

When Paula and Jeff saw Tom's picture, they recognized him: He had been a worker at their fertility clinic at Reproductive Medical Technologies, a clinic they thought was affiliated with the University of Utah. Tom's mother reportedly took a genetic test that confirmed Tom was Ashley's biological father.
 
2014-01-09 04:27:21 PM  
that dude is sick.  guarantee he did this to a lot of couples.

shoot him.   Sorry dude, you don't get to screw with people like that and live.
 
2014-01-09 04:28:52 PM  

MFAWG: So she intentionally had the cousin impregnate her 20 years ago so she could sue as soon as testing became affordable?


What I was striving for was, mom wasn't having any luck with dad's sperm, got to know the guy at the clinic, yadda yadda yadda, 21 years later the daughter needs surgery or something, mom is starting to think she'll be discovered, decides to concoct crazy scheme, etc.

I have an active imagination though.
 
2014-01-09 04:31:19 PM  

orezona: "Eccentric", as in the kind of person who kidnaps a co-ed for 3 weeks conducting "love experiments" involving shock therapy to make them fall in love with him...

/there's always one in the family


I was shocked he only spent 2 years in prison for that. Seems a bit light.
 
2014-01-09 04:32:09 PM  

WhyKnot: that dude is sick.  guarantee he did this to a lot of couples.

shoot him.   Sorry dude, you don't get to screw with people like that and live.


nevermind...reaper already got him....good.
 
2014-01-09 04:32:26 PM  
Cousin?  Was this dude actually "Paula"'s cousin, or did "Cheryl" just have some information about her (and only her) cousin?  Confusing article is confusing.
 
2014-01-09 04:32:30 PM  
They discovered, that prior to coming to work for the clinic, Lippert had served two years in prison for a high profile kidnapping, where he is accused of snatching up a college co-ed and holding her for three weeks and conducting "love experiments", that included locking her in a black box and using electroshock therapy on her to make her "fall in love with him."

Holy cr@p!  How was that only a two year sentence.

/ when I hear the term "eccentric" I typically think lots of cats and strange clothing
 
2014-01-09 04:33:59 PM  
And in Utah?  You want to talk about people obsessed with genealogy....
 
2014-01-09 04:34:12 PM  
I imagine these sperm banks just throwing the little cup's contents into a huge vat and when they need to swimmers they use a scoop out 3/4's of a cup.
 
2014-01-09 04:36:30 PM  

Atomic Spunk: Quite honestly, I'd love it if there were a lot of kids out there sharing my DNA.

/that sounds a little creepy, don't it?


Even creepier that I have you farkied as "Nipple Play". For the life of me I cannot remember why.
 
2014-01-09 04:36:47 PM  
Read where one sperm donor was later located and forced to pay child support.
 
2014-01-09 04:38:57 PM  

Buttknuckle: That story hurt my head.  What the wut?


Apparently the new thing is to find the most poorly-written version of a story and submit it to Fark.
 
2014-01-09 04:41:07 PM  
Article about the abduction thing.

This dude must have been fun at parties.

He didn't spend a lot of time in jail because, well, read the article.
 
2014-01-09 04:43:05 PM  

Stoj: MFAWG: So she intentionally had the cousin impregnate her 20 years ago so she could sue as soon as testing became affordable?

What I was striving for was, mom wasn't having any luck with dad's sperm, got to know the guy at the clinic, yadda yadda yadda, 21 years later the daughter needs surgery or something, mom is starting to think she'll be discovered, decides to concoct crazy scheme, etc.

I have an active imagination though.


Honestly, as far as the testing goes, my family has bounced the idea around a bit, but only because there's some stories about ancestors we'd like to get verified (Native American and African-American ancestry, supposedly). So it may just be they were curious and had it done. Then, whoops! Dad isn't bio dad!

Also, haven't scientists been finding that something like 25% of us have some sort of first- or second-degree incest relationship somewhere? It doesn't seem to be as rare as we'd all like to think it is. . .

/I'll google the citation in a few
//and I agree. How did that guy only get two years for what he did?
 
2014-01-09 04:45:07 PM  
Except for the daughter, none of the family members were related to this worker (he was not their cousin).

The article says that they contacted kidnapper/bio-dad's cousin, presumably because kidnapper/bio-dad had died years ago, making it impossible to contact him.
 
2014-01-09 04:52:34 PM  
Peki: 

Honestly, as far as the testing goes, my family has bounced the idea around a bit, but only because there's some stories about ancestors we'd like to get verified (Native American and African-American ancestry, supposedly). So it may just be they were curious and had it done. Then, whoops! Dad isn't bio dad!

Also, haven't scientists been finding that something like 25% of us have some sort of first- or second-degree incest relationship somewhere? It doesn't seem to be as rare as we'd all like to think it is. . .

/I'll google the citation in a few


I think it's like 25% of people who have congenital disabilities, somewhat lower for the rest of the population iirc. but eh, yeah, It's pretty interesting.

/we figured out our Native American heritage the old-fashioned way, by tracing marriage and birth records
//apparently I'm 1/16th Iroquoian
 
2014-01-09 04:55:19 PM  
Double reverse Darwined FTW!
 
2014-01-09 04:55:45 PM  

Stoj: Article about the abduction thing.

This dude must have been fun at parties.

He didn't spend a lot of time in jail because, well, read the article.


Wow ... this guy's life has WTF all over it.
 
2014-01-09 04:58:44 PM  

www.cuatro.com


"Amateur."

/Dr. Cecil Jacobson. He substituted his own sperm for God knows how many donors. I think people believe he fathered 75 children illegally
/This is the second time I've posted this guy's pic in the last three days. I think I'll just add it to my profile
 
2014-01-09 04:58:58 PM  
Man there are a lot of sluts in Utah.
 
2014-01-09 05:00:08 PM  
 
2014-01-09 05:02:37 PM  
I'm more amazed at how you can drop off sperm cells. It must have involved a really tiny forceps and a hell of a microscope.
 
2014-01-09 05:04:03 PM  
I just had the worst business plan: Baby Roulette

You get many couples who want babies. They go through all the procedures they normally would, but all at once. In the end, all the viable eggs are mixed up with the sperm samples randomly and you get one of them with no guarantees.

It would never sell, but it might make a good short horror story or something.
 
2014-01-09 05:05:57 PM  
Real life ripped off The Dominion of Wiley McFadden.

/Canlit obsurity!
//Finally get to put that English minor to use!
 
2014-01-09 05:09:53 PM  
Actually, key parties amount to the same thing.
 
2014-01-09 05:11:16 PM  
I think if I were the mother, reviewing the DNA testing, I would have taken that information to my grave.

Let the father and daughter spend their lives believing they are biologically related, destroy the results, swallow your emotions.

It's not like the father found out and he's questioning whether the wife nailed someone else to get pregnant.  The mother KNOWS this was a fertility clinic issue.

Lock it down.

idk, is it just me?
 
2014-01-09 05:13:21 PM  

doglover: I just had the worst business plan: Baby Roulette

You get many couples who want babies. They go through all the procedures they normally would, but all at once. In the end, all the viable eggs are mixed up with the sperm samples randomly and you get one of them with no guarantees.

It would never sell, but it might make a good short horror story or something.


Could end racism ... everybody would be brown within a few generations.  Plenty of other things to fight about of course.  Sounds like the start of a dystopian fiction plot.
 
2014-01-09 05:25:19 PM  

Atomic Spunk: Quite honestly, I'd love it if there were a lot of kids out there sharing my DNA.

/that sounds a little creepy, don't it?


Only if they take turns gargling it.
 
2014-01-09 05:34:20 PM  
How does he get a BACK at a clinic after he's been in prison for kidnapping and performing "love experiments" on someone.  you're think that would exclude him from working with other human beings.
 
2014-01-09 05:34:33 PM  

WhyKnot: WhyKnot: that dude is sick.  guarantee he did this to a lot of couples.

shoot him.   Sorry dude, you don't get to screw with people like that and live.

nevermind...reaper already got him....good.


But was a legitimate reap?
 
2014-01-09 05:40:10 PM  

orezona: /there's always one in the family


My reading of the article is that the "eccentric" employee was not any relation to the mother receiving IVF.  The mother used the results of the DNA test to locate a cousin of the genetic father of her child (presumably someone who had also used the DNA testing service) and that woman verified that she had a cousin who had worked at the clinic.
 
2014-01-09 05:41:11 PM  

platedlizard: Peki: 

Honestly, as far as the testing goes, my family has bounced the idea around a bit, but only because there's some stories about ancestors we'd like to get verified (Native American and African-American ancestry, supposedly). So it may just be they were curious and had it done. Then, whoops! Dad isn't bio dad!

Also, haven't scientists been finding that something like 25% of us have some sort of first- or second-degree incest relationship somewhere? It doesn't seem to be as rare as we'd all like to think it is. . .

/I'll google the citation in a few

I think it's like 25% of people who have congenital disabilities, somewhat lower for the rest of the population iirc. but eh, yeah, It's pretty interesting.

/we figured out our Native American heritage the old-fashioned way, by tracing marriage and birth records
//apparently I'm 1/16th Iroquoian


My family is Mormon; we've got records back to the ~300AD (which is how we know about the ancestors). Still, there could always be surprises, as marriage doesn't always guarantee genetic relationship--my grandfather was adopted, for example, and I have no idea if any work has been done to actually fill out his biological family's ancestry, or if we only have the adopted father's records. We also only recently found out the real story about how our Irish ancestor got here: stowed away on a ship after killing an English soldier with a shillelagh, and got thrown overboard when discovered. The story we were told was that he shipwrecked off the coast of Nova Scotia and bravely swam to shore. . . Oh he swam all right, but not because of a shipwreck!

/I think I ran the math and I'm like .004% African-American, and 1/64? Shoshone. But again, assuming accurate records. . .
 
2014-01-09 05:44:38 PM  

AFKobel: I think if I were the mother, reviewing the DNA testing, I would have taken that information to my grave.

Let the father and daughter spend their lives believing they are biologically related, destroy the results, swallow your emotions.

It's not like the father found out and he's questioning whether the wife nailed someone else to get pregnant.  The mother KNOWS this was a fertility clinic issue.

Lock it down.

idk, is it just me?


Except this part: "Paula, Jeff and Ashley thought it would be fun to do DNA testing" is patent bullshiat.

More like: "Paula and Jeff started to experience stress and discomfort when Ashley looked nothing like Jeff, or when they found out Jeff was positively infertile, and couldn't have actually impregnated Paula through the artificial insemination procedure they had used, and Jeff became convinced Paula cheated on him."

Gads, I can't believe I just typed out that Springeresque explanation.
 
2014-01-09 05:50:15 PM  
Editing is dead. This article is a hot mess.

In 1992 Ashley, now 21, was born, but with the recent revelations.

THAT IS NOT A COMPLETE SENTENCE! And the only way that you could possibly interpret it as a complete sentence then has it make no sense whatsoever. Now let's continue:

Paula, using the genealogy she had acquired, tracked down a cousin of Ashley's biological father, who told her that, Thomas R. Lippert, her cousin, had worked at the very clinic where Paula had been inseminated.

First off, "her" is used too much and makes it confusing. For those who still don't get it (and I understand; I didn't at first), this is what it means:

Paula, using the genealogy she had acquired, tracked down a cousin of Ashley's biological father, who told her [Paula] that, [<--invalid comma (not related to pronouns; it just bugs me)] Thomas R. Lippert, her [the tracked-down cousin, whose name was "Cheryl", by the way] cousin, had worked at the very clinic where Paula had been inseminated.

And what the hell is "the genealogy she had acquired"? It sounds like at this point she knew who the biological father was (and therefore who his cousins were), but then:

Lippert's mother agreed to give a DNA sample and the result confirmed that Lippert was indeed Ashley's father.

Okay, I suppose it was just for confirmation, but how did she even begin to suspect that Lippert was the father in the first place?
 
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