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(Guardian)   Redlit Farkers take note: The secrits of grate headline writing   (theguardian.com) divider line 61
    More: Interesting, japan today, Liverpool Echo, fashion shows, alpine skiing  
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3061 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jan 2014 at 2:31 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



61 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-01-09 02:04:06 PM  
Actually, there are some secrets to getting headlines greenlit around here. You hit upon one of them, subby, which are deliberate misspellings. Grammer nazi's are basically governed by an uncontrollable impulse to lash out at headline mistakes, and so they end up filling the thread before it's even been noticed by a modmin. Then the modmin sees the rising comments and just greenlights it because, hey, it's a built in trainwreck. For all intensive purposes, a misspelled headline is an auto green.

Another good strategy is to find the same basic story on multiple news sites, and then submit it with the same headline every single time. Modmins are basically slow-witted creatures, and your humorous headline may not sink in right at first. But after that modmin's seen it six, seven, eight times in one morning...well, you'd better believe he's going to be chuckling mightily and probably tipping a beer in your general direction. Remember the old saying: If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try, try, try, try, and try again.

Also, most modmins appreciate it if you send them a personal email anytime you submit a particularly funny headline. They're busy people, after all, and sometimes, if they're hungover or particularly engrossed in porn, they may forget to check the queue for a few hours. Then, when they finally do get back to it, they're like, HOLY SHIAT THERE'S LIKE 1000 LINKS FOR ME TO LOOK AT. That's when they just start auto-redlighting entire spans of the day, and your gem may get caught up in that. But if you've emailed them, they'll know to stay their redlight finger and pick your needle out of the haystack. It doesn't hurt to CC: Drew on especially good submissions, just FYI.

Finally, understand that a redlight is not a death sentence. Being red-lit is only like being MOSTLY dead...there's still a chance. If you've been redlit, take to the queue and start submitting headlines to TFD asking people to vote up your red-lit thread. If you get enough upvotes, the modmins are required by Fark covenant to reverse the red and give you a green. Use Farkback to let them know if they're not living up to that standard. Of course, you need a Total Fark subscription to submit TFD threads, but that's a good submission to join. And remember, if you get 10 greenlights in a month, your TFD subscription is on Drew. Don't let him get away with not comping you -- sometimes he forgets.

Happy submitting!
 
2014-01-09 02:17:28 PM  
Grate advice, PN. That's exactly how I built up my extensive list of Green-light's. Of course, that account got permabanned, so I had to switch to using my alt. BTW, does each of your alt's have to get 10 greenlight's to get comped by Drew, or is just one of them with 10 enough to get them all comp'd?
 
Bf+
2014-01-09 02:35:39 PM  
e.g.:  "Nelson Mandela died he's black you know who else is black Al Sharpton I hate Al Sharpton but not because he's black I swear"

/Right Drew?
 
2014-01-09 02:35:53 PM  
You forgot the easiest way: repeat.
 
2014-01-09 02:37:09 PM  
My headline was more funnier.
 
2014-01-09 02:38:30 PM  

blatz514: My headline was more funnier.


But was it cromulentest?
 
2014-01-09 02:38:33 PM  
My stuff with funny headlines usually gets red light and the stuff that even I dont think is good gets a green.
 
2014-01-09 02:39:14 PM  
"I tried this 1 weird trick to getting a greenlight!"
 
2014-01-09 02:39:44 PM  
Subby misspelt riting in the headlin.
 
2014-01-09 02:43:08 PM  

Thudfark: blatz514: My headline was more funnier.

But was it cromulentest?


Most indeedliest
 
2014-01-09 02:43:41 PM  
If only the writer could have applied his art to summarize the article in such a way as to have drawn me in... DNRTFA
 
2014-01-09 02:45:19 PM  
I just wait for a "Drew's Greenlighting Everything Day" and then MOAR PUPPEEZ!!!1!
 
2014-01-09 02:45:32 PM  
My advice for writing a great headline on Fark?

Don't bother.
 
2014-01-09 02:49:49 PM  

JackieRabbit: If only the writer could have applied his art to summarize the article in such a way as to have drawn me in... DNRTFA


Too bad it fell through the cracks.
 
2014-01-09 02:53:25 PM  

Pocket Ninja: Actually, there are some secrets to getting headlines greenlit around here. You hit upon one of them, subby, which are deliberate misspellings. Grammer nazi's are basically governed by an uncontrollable impulse to lash out at headline mistakes, and so they end up filling the thread before it's even been noticed by a modmin. Then the modmin sees the rising comments and just greenlights it because, hey, it's a built in trainwreck. For all intensive purposes, a misspelled headline is an auto green.

Another good strategy is to find the same basic story on multiple news sites, and then submit it with the same headline every single time. Modmins are basically slow-witted creatures, and your humorous headline may not sink in right at first. But after that modmin's seen it six, seven, eight times in one morning...well, you'd better believe he's going to be chuckling mightily and probably tipping a beer in your general direction. Remember the old saying: If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try, try, try, try, and try again.

Also, most modmins appreciate it if you send them a personal email anytime you submit a particularly funny headline. They're busy people, after all, and sometimes, if they're hungover or particularly engrossed in porn, they may forget to check the queue for a few hours. Then, when they finally do get back to it, they're like, HOLY SHIAT THERE'S LIKE 1000 LINKS FOR ME TO LOOK AT. That's when they just start auto-redlighting entire spans of the day, and your gem may get caught up in that. But if you've emailed them, they'll know to stay their redlight finger and pick your needle out of the haystack. It doesn't hurt to CC: Drew on especially good submissions, just FYI.

Finally, understand that a redlight is not a death sentence. Being red-lit is only like being MOSTLY dead...there's still a chance. If you've been redlit, take to the queue and start submitting headlines to TFD asking people to vote up your red-lit thread. If you get enough upvotes, the modmins are required by Fark covenant to reverse the red and give you a green. Use Farkback to let them know if they're not living up to that standard. Of course, you need a Total Fark subscription to submit TFD threads, but that's a good submission to join. And remember, if you get 10 greenlights in a month, your TFD subscription is on Drew. Don't let him get away with not comping you -- sometimes he forgets.

Happy submitting!


So was the nonsense phrase "intensive purposes" intentional? I will assume so, if only for my own piece of mind.

/typing that nearly killed me
 
2014-01-09 02:54:31 PM  

blatz514: Thudfark: blatz514: My headline was more funnier.

But was it cromulentest?

Most indeedliest


thereviewsarein.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-01-09 02:54:39 PM  
Greenlights are overrated.
 
2014-01-09 02:54:50 PM  
I submitted this with a more betterer headline.
 
2014-01-09 02:55:20 PM  
If I had noticed who made that comment sooner, I could have saved myself the trouble of typing that...
 
2014-01-09 02:57:54 PM  

Mellotiger: So was the nonsense phrase "intensive purposes" intentional? I will assume so, if only for my own piece of mind.

/typing that nearly killed me


Welcome to the greatness that is Pocket Ninja.
You should go ahead and fav him with a nice color so you don't miss anything.
 
2014-01-09 02:58:17 PM  
1. Be funny
2. Also, be funny
 
2014-01-09 03:01:18 PM  

SmackLT: 1. Be funny
2. Also, be funny


I think my 50 or so greenlit headlines disprove this theory.
 
2014-01-09 03:05:20 PM  
I read that as Redit Farkers.
 
2014-01-09 03:05:48 PM  
I headlined this with a better submitter
 
2014-01-09 03:06:51 PM  

SmackLT: 1. Be funny
2. Also, be funny


1. Submit left-friendly headlines when the brainwashed Prog modmins are working, which is all the time.
2. Also, don't submit non-left-friendly headlines when the brainwashed Prog modmins are working.
 
2014-01-09 03:07:11 PM  
Not news: Your dog wants: a) still not news: no cure for cancer, b) news: duke sucks c) Fark: steak

Guaranteed green.
 
2014-01-09 03:07:16 PM  
I think I would have more greenlights if were able to drink at work.

/can only Fark on mobile after work.
 
2014-01-09 03:07:40 PM  

static.guim.co.uk

I give great head ... lines

 
2014-01-09 03:09:00 PM  

Dragonflew: Not news: Your dog wants: a) still not news: no cure for cancer, b) news: duke sucks c) Fark: steak

Guaranteed green.



You forgot the part about guns, abortion, Obama and George Zimmerman.
 
2014-01-09 03:10:26 PM  

hippyneil: I headlined this with a better submitter


I subbed headliner's mom
 
2014-01-09 03:11:33 PM  

SmackLT: 1. Be funny
2. Also, be funny


I've only had 1 green-light. It was so long ago I don't recall if it was funny or not.

/Yes, wearing onions on your belt was the fashion at the time, why do you ask?
 
2014-01-09 03:12:47 PM  

Phinn: Dragonflew: Not news: Your dog wants: a) still not news: no cure for cancer, b) news: duke sucks c) Fark: steak

Guaranteed green.

You forgot the part about guns, abortion, Obama and George Zimmerman.


Also:

Will all funny headlines please get greenlit. No so fast, you're headline.

/or something
//that "joke" hasn't been funny since the first person used it
 
2014-01-09 03:16:59 PM  
Best headline ever:

"Youngboy's Wankdorf errection relief."


Its about the Swiss football team "youngboys" building their new stadium in Wankdorf.


For those that don't see the humour: wankdorf looks a lot like how some Brits say "wanked off".


/ yes youngboys is a crappy name for a football team.
// The Swiss also have a team called grasshoppers.
/// no worse than American college football teams "gay cocks" (sorry "game cocks" but always sounds like "gay" when Americans say it), "Trojans", and "badgers" (British slang for lady parts... badgers have stripey heads like... k you got it)
 
2014-01-09 03:17:16 PM  
i483.photobucket.com

Get a life people, there are worse things than being redlit
like being greenlit just be thrown out again because it's actually a duplicate of another approved link
 
2014-01-09 03:18:10 PM  

Thudfark: hippyneil: I headlined this with a better submitter

I subbed headliner's mom


Subbys mom gave me better head.
 
2014-01-09 03:18:33 PM  
I like to abuse the queue with fake links and use the headline section to write love notes to my favorite modmins.  You know who you are.
 
2014-01-09 03:22:06 PM  

Pocket Ninja: and so they end up filling the thread before it's even been noticed by a modmin


I think you accidentally used the correct word there. "It's" is a valid contraction for "it has".
 
2014-01-09 03:29:46 PM  
Someday I will get a greenlight. Someday.
 
2014-01-09 03:30:02 PM  

CleanAndPure: Thudfark: hippyneil: I headlined this with a better submitter

I subbed headliner's mom

Subbys mom gave me better head.


Headline: Mon's head better than subby's says Farker
 
2014-01-09 03:34:11 PM  

BAMFinator: I read that as Redit Farkers.

So did I.
 
2014-01-09 03:37:13 PM  
I've been greened with entirely wrong states in the headline before, you can get away with a lot of error if it's breaking news... though most of my greens come from stories involving people with funny names (Richard Palmer, etc)
 
2014-01-09 03:43:30 PM  
Was I the only one who read that as  "Reddit Farkers" ?

Is that even allowed? Aren't you required to choose a side?

/Better dead than Reddit
 
2014-01-09 03:45:18 PM  
I once was so pissed off how so many troll headlines were getting approved I wrote a ridiculous over the top troll headline in a form of protest.


...It got greenlit.
 
2014-01-09 03:45:47 PM  
Mellotiger: Pocket Ninja: Actually, there are some secrets to getting headlines greenlit around here. You hit upon one of them, subby, which are deliberate misspellings. Grammer nazi's are basically governed by an uncontrollable impulse to lash out at headline mistakes, and so they end up filling the thread before it's even been noticed by a modmin. Then the modmin sees the rising comments and just greenlights it because, hey, it's a built in trainwreck. For all intensive purposes, a misspelled headline is an auto green.


Yes, for all intents and purposes.
 
2014-01-09 03:46:39 PM  

huntercr: Was I the only one who read that as  "Reddit Farkers" ?

Is that even allowed? Aren't you required to choose a side?

/Better dead than Reddit


Yeah, I did at first as well.  Quite a  o_O moment
 
2014-01-09 03:48:21 PM  
I like how right away, in the sub-headline of the article, the author ends her sentence fragment in a preposition
 
2014-01-09 03:48:54 PM  

Mellotiger: So was the nonsense phrase "intensive purposes" intentional? I will assume so, if only for my own piece of mind.


Well I see my little piece of snark has been covered...

/kicks can
//*sniffle*
 
2014-01-09 03:49:37 PM  
You don't need good headline writing skills. Just money or...

img.fark.net
 
2014-01-09 03:52:44 PM  

Phinn: SmackLT: 1. Be funny
2. Also, be funny

1. Submit left-friendly headlines when the brainwashed Prog modmins are working, which is all the time.
2. Also, don't submit non-left-friendly headlines when the brainwashed Prog modmins are working.


Also see everything as politically leaning, even when it's ridiculously obvious it isn't.
 
2014-01-09 04:02:13 PM  
Nowadays it's easy:

Featured partner

Sponsored Link

Copy-paste headline and know a Modmin.

Submit headline with blatant troll-bait, which'll get greened to drive up comment clicks.

Those four now account for probably 20% of greenlights
 
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