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(Independent)   University student hacks off his own penis and stabs his mother while stoned out of his head on mephedrone; his answer to 'Hey, how was your Christmas break dude?' from fellow students to produce slack-jawed, glassy-eyed horror   (independent.co.uk) divider line 46
    More: Scary  
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4618 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jan 2014 at 12:36 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-09 09:01:52 AM  
When you're tied to your mother's apron, it's hard to talk about castration.  So stab that biatch first.
 
2014-01-09 11:39:12 AM  
Nobody is safe from a senseless 'drone attack in Obama's America.
 
2014-01-09 11:57:35 AM  
Well, at least that means there's one less idiot in this world that will be breeding...
 
2014-01-09 12:38:44 PM  
What the f*ck is mephedrone?  They have got to slow down on the "new party drug" invention, or I won't be able to keep up on what substances will make you go crazy and cut your own dick off.
 
2014-01-09 12:39:06 PM  
Meph is a hell of a drug.
 
2014-01-09 12:41:06 PM  
This story would be better if he had cut off his penis and stabbed his mother with his severed penis.
 
2014-01-09 12:43:20 PM  

Farce-Side: What the f*ck is mephedrone?  They have got to slow down on the "new party drug" invention, or I won't be able to keep up on what substances will make you go crazy and cut your own dick off.


The drugs might have helped but I'm pretty sure that they weren't the only reason behind this.  I don't even know what mephedrone is though so I might be wrong but it seems to me if that was a likely side effect then it's not going to be a really hot repeat seller or get endorsed by word of mouth very much.

"Due you have got to try out this mephedrone stuff. I did it last month and I was flying so high that I killed my little brother and cut my dick off."
"Wow man that sounds awesome where can I get some?"
 
2014-01-09 12:43:25 PM  
I hit a paywall, can anyone summarize?

i343.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-09 12:44:29 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: This story would be better if he had cut off his penis and stabbed his mother with his severed penis.


That might be considered incest - depending on where he stabbed her?
 
2014-01-09 12:45:27 PM  
Cutting off my own penis is NOT my idea of a "party".
 
2014-01-09 12:45:28 PM  
Worst anti-drug after-school special evar
 
2014-01-09 12:48:33 PM  
I think we've all been there.
 
2014-01-09 12:51:33 PM  
And I believe his mother told him that he's not getting his penis back until he cleans up his room, contemplates what he may have done wrong and properly apologizes for his actions.
 
2014-01-09 12:52:26 PM  
That is no way to go through life, son.
 
2014-01-09 12:52:55 PM  
"Officers are at the scene collecting evidence..."

Ewwwww
 
2014-01-09 12:53:42 PM  

xanadian: Well, at least that means there's one less idiot in this world that will be breeding...


I wish. Doctors successfully reattached the idiot's penis, however, so assuming he can find someone to fark...
 
2014-01-09 12:55:22 PM  
Not condoning any harsh drugs at all, but I'm betting there was something seriously wrong with this dude way before he touched any drugs.
 
2014-01-09 12:56:09 PM  
I thought she told him he's not coming out of that room until he's eaten every last penis

/what the hell, Britain?  What...the...hell?
 
2014-01-09 12:57:31 PM  
Isn't the term 'hacked' a bit extreme here? For all we know, it was a clean surgical slice.
 
2014-01-09 12:57:46 PM  
He told you he was hardcore.
 
2014-01-09 12:58:27 PM  
What did the kids that weren't squared away enough to go to college do?
 
2014-01-09 12:59:38 PM  
What? No spotted dick jokes?
 
2014-01-09 01:00:16 PM  
I always wonder what inspires one to amputate their own penis. I mean, some things make perfect sense in the drug-addled mind, but I can't fathom the circumstances that would warrant a penectomy.

"I'm a cantaloupe with hamburgers for pockets. Hmmm, those drapes sound too purple -- Better cut off my own dick then stab mom"
 
2014-01-09 01:01:31 PM  
You can't be the skipper without your little buddy.
 
2014-01-09 01:06:12 PM  
Did he check the medicine cabinet?
 
2014-01-09 01:06:16 PM  
Probably because that is where mommy touched him and he had no doll to show authorities.
 
2014-01-09 01:06:36 PM  
See what happens when you legalize pot?
 
2014-01-09 01:09:32 PM  
He never should have injected that second marijuana.
 
2014-01-09 01:13:01 PM  

Farce-Side: What the f*ck is mephedrone?


Egoy3k: Farce-Side:  I don't even know what mephedrone is though so ...



Commonly the active ingredient in "Bath Salts"
 
2014-01-09 01:14:55 PM  
See what happens when you legalize campaign finance laws?
 
2014-01-09 01:15:56 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-01-09 01:15:56 PM  
"Mother?
Yes son?
I want to kill you.

Penis? I want to......... fjrjfufndjdjtugghdbrhfjfjg! Yayayaya come on baby!"

~This is the End, 2014 version
 
2014-01-09 01:37:52 PM  
So did they find it?  Can they re-attach it?  Inquiring minds want to know.....
 
2014-01-09 01:49:46 PM  

Wasilla Hillbilly: Isn't the term 'hacked' a bit extreme here? For all we know, it was a clean surgical slice.


Either way... as a man, I am trying very hard to not go "HOLY CRAP OW OW OW OW OW OW!!!"

I cannot think of a single way that having "it" cut off not be Holycrapowowowowish...

Thinking of any other body part being hacked, cut, or other means of removal does not inspire the same ow ow ow ow ow ow ow factor by any means.
 
2014-01-09 01:52:01 PM  

Okieboy: So did they find it?  Can they re-attach it?  Inquiring minds want to know.....


According to the article I read earlier, they did. But that was the Fail, so grain o' salt and all.
 
2014-01-09 01:52:25 PM  
Mephedrone, also known as 4-methylmethcathinone (4-MMC) or 4-methylephedrone, is a synthetic stimulant drug of the amphetamine and cathinone classes. Slang names include drone and MCAT. It is reportedly manufactured in China and is chemically similar to the cathinone compounds found in the khat plant of eastern Africa. It comes in the form of tablets or a powder, which users can swallow, snort or inject, producing similar effects to MDMA, amphetamines and cocaine

from wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mephedrone
 
2014-01-09 01:55:08 PM  

imfallen_angel: Wasilla Hillbilly: Isn't the term 'hacked' a bit extreme here? For all we know, it was a clean surgical slice.

Either way... as a man, I am trying very hard to not go "HOLY CRAP OW OW OW OW OW OW!!!"

I cannot think of a single way that having "it" cut off not be Holycrapowowowowish...

Thinking of any other body part being hacked, cut, or other means of removal does not inspire the same ow ow ow ow ow ow ow factor by any means.


ok but would you rather it be the shaft or the balls?
 
2014-01-09 01:55:12 PM  
I somehow read that as "Student whacks off penis and stabs his monitor"

Who among us *hasn't* stabbed their monitor with their penis during a exceptionally vigorous session?
 
2014-01-09 02:08:55 PM  

Wasilla Hillbilly: imfallen_angel: Wasilla Hillbilly: Isn't the term 'hacked' a bit extreme here? For all we know, it was a clean surgical slice.

Either way... as a man, I am trying very hard to not go "HOLY CRAP OW OW OW OW OW OW!!!"

I cannot think of a single way that having "it" cut off not be Holycrapowowowowish...

Thinking of any other body part being hacked, cut, or other means of removal does not inspire the same ow ow ow ow ow ow ow factor by any means.

ok but would you rather it be the shaft or the balls?



Well, if you're a guy, you need to think about it for a moment, imagine it, see it in your mind's eye...

So imagine it, a dull blade slowly cutting into it... think about all those nerve endings sending the pain through to your brain, plus the realization of what is happening.

Then get back to me with your preference.
 
2014-01-09 02:32:52 PM  
I think I'd rather roll the dice on shaft reattachment
 
2014-01-09 04:53:03 PM  

inglixthemad: What? No spotted dick jokes?


www.effingpot.com
 
2014-01-09 06:36:15 PM  
Can anyone say 'Reefer Madness'?

Isn't it obvious what's going on here? Why else would a broadsheet like the Independent run with this, when they threw the cannabis legalisation campaign under the bus?

Something stinks here, and it isn't 'skunk'.
 
2014-01-09 07:02:29 PM  
 
2014-01-09 08:21:06 PM  

Farce-Side: What the f*ck is mephedrone?  They have got to slow down on the "new party drug" invention, or I won't be able to keep up on what substances will make you go crazy and cut your own dick off.


Mephedrone is one of the three drugs commonly sold as "bath salts". The other two are Methylone and MDPV.

Mephedrone is synthetic drug of amphetamine class, which is a broad category. Both Ecstasy and meth are in the category.

I'm going out a limb here and saying this drug is probably closer to meth in its effects than Ecstasy. Just a hunch.
 
2014-01-10 10:30:18 AM  
i read it as mellophone. He cut off his own dick, while stoned, with his head in a mellophone.
 
2014-01-10 01:53:19 PM  

skinink: "Mother?
Yes son?
I want to kill you.

Penis? I want to......... fjrjfufndjdjtugghdbrhfjfjg! Yayayaya come on baby!"

~This is the End, 2014 version


Nobody is going to be riding his snake any time soon.
 
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