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(Pro Football Talk)   Johhny Manziel files his application to be the fall-guy for the Houston Texans next season   (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com) divider line 208
    More: Obvious, Johnny Manziel, Texans, Johhny Manziel, NFL Draft, Manti Te, fools, Gil Brandt  
•       •       •

970 clicks; posted to Sports » on 08 Jan 2014 at 2:36 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



208 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-01-08 03:51:29 PM  

CreativeFarkHandle: HaywoodJablonski: lecavalier: HaywoodJablonski: lecavalier: As has been spoken about on various blogs/forums, I would not be surprised to see the Texans call New England and get Mallett.

*facepalm*

That makes no sense

Why not?

Because Mallett is dreadful. Have you not watched him in preseason or mop-up duty?

This.  I think Brain Hoyer showed more development during his time on the bench than Mallett has.  Though, if they do go for Mallett, I'm sure NE would be than happy to take a draft pick or three in return as they are wont to do.  Of course, all the sports hacks up here will say it's "genius".  I'm still waiting for these brilliant moves to actually pay off.

/Really wanted NE to draft Patterson and/or Elam last year


FTFM
 
2014-01-08 03:51:32 PM  

The_Sponge: Grand_Moff_Joseph: The_Sponge: Grand_Moff_Joseph: He'll know he's made it big time when people start burning his jersey in the parking lot.  XD


Or when Matt Schaub burgers are taken off the menu and replaced with Johnny Football burgers.

I'd like a Johnnyception with cheese, and an order of pick-six fries to go.

*and since we're referring to Texas*

"...oh, and a coke."

Cashier: What type of coke would you like?

"Mt. Dew please."


Heh.

But seriously....people need to stop calling all sodas "Coke".....it's annoying.  That would be like calling all beers "Budweiser" or "Bud".

"I'll have a Budweiser."

"What kind?"

"Guinness."

/And that's what really grinds my gears.


Don't go to London to buy vaccuum cleaners, then.

/But that's not a Hoover! That's a Dyson!
 
2014-01-08 03:56:17 PM  

Cowboy Spencer: He holds the first three spots on the record books for total offense in a game in the SEC.
He holds the record for most total offense in a season in the SEC.


You're aware that the SEC's defensive squads are no more impressive than anyone else's at this point, right?

As for history, yeah, all those records are falling nearly every year, as spread offenses make it very, very easy to score against mistake-prone defenses.
 
2014-01-08 03:57:09 PM  

VvonderJesus: EqualOpportunityEnslaver: VvonderJesus:

At least it won't be a problem in January.

:(

You and I both know that's true, but you still didn't need to point it out.

:(

We'll get there in a few years when they move to 18 games


Yup.
 
2014-01-08 03:57:22 PM  
He is falling to the Vikings, where he will flounder for a few years before ultimatley not being the right fit.

Duh.
 
2014-01-08 03:58:53 PM  

EqualOpportunityEnslaver: Grand_Moff_Joseph: The_Sponge: Grand_Moff_Joseph: He'll know he's made it big time when people start burning his jersey in the parking lot.  XD


Or when Matt Schaub burgers are taken off the menu and replaced with Johnny Football burgers.

I'd like a Johnnyception with cheese, and an order of pick-six fries to go.

*and since we're referring to Texas*

"...oh, and a coke."

Cashier: What type of coke would you like?

"Mt. Dew please."

Grew up in Houston, and that order is so true.


grew up there too (3rd grade-high school at least).  Funny how the silliness of that exchange never dawned on me at all.  I just accepted it as proper word usage, lol.


/still hated whataburger though
//blech
///Miami subs ftw
 
2014-01-08 04:03:16 PM  

Cowboy Spencer: AdmirableSnackbar: Please back up this statement, Kanye.

LMGTFY.

He holds the first three spots on the record books for total offense in a game in the SEC.
He holds the record for most total offense in a season in the SEC.
He holds the NCAA freshman record for total offense, and for rushing yards by a QB.
First freshman in NCAA history with 3000+ passing yards and 1000+ rushing yards in a season.
He was the fastest player in NCAA history to reach 7000 yards in total offense.

He was the first freshman to win the Heisman.  And this season, he outperformed the player who was awarded the Heisman.


And zero championships of any kind to show for it.  He's the Matt Stafford of NCAA football - great stats, not a winner.  He's not even one of the greatest college football players of the past 10 years, let alone all time.

And your statistical analysis punishes Jameis Winston who had a running attack that meant he wasn't passing or running it himself all of the time.  I'm sure you had fun watching Johnny Fraudball, but that doesn't mean he was one of the best of all time.
 
2014-01-08 04:03:24 PM  

Grand_Moff_Joseph: EqualOpportunityEnslaver: Grand_Moff_Joseph: The_Sponge: Grand_Moff_Joseph: He'll know he's made it big time when people start burning his jersey in the parking lot.  XD


Or when Matt Schaub burgers are taken off the menu and replaced with Johnny Football burgers.

I'd like a Johnnyception with cheese, and an order of pick-six fries to go.

*and since we're referring to Texas*

"...oh, and a coke."

Cashier: What type of coke would you like?

"Mt. Dew please."

Grew up in Houston, and that order is so true.

grew up there too (3rd grade-high school at least).  Funny how the silliness of that exchange never dawned on me at all.  I just accepted it as proper word usage, lol.


/still hated whataburger though
//blech
///Miami subs ftw


Really? I kinda miss Whataburger when I compare it to the local fare here in MN. I'm weird like that though.
 
2014-01-08 04:08:05 PM  

AdmirableSnackbar: And zero championships of any kind to show for it.  He's the Matt Stafford of NCAA football - great stats, not a winner.  He's not even one of the greatest college football players of the past 10 years, let alone all time.

And your statistical analysis punishes Jameis Winston who had a running attack that meant he wasn't passing or running it himself all of the time.  I'm sure you had fun watching Johnny Fraudball, but that doesn't mean he was one of the best of all time.


Yes, Manziel wasn't really a great player because he didn't also play defense.  TAMU had one of the worst defenses in the NCAA last season.  I'm going purely off statistics/performance.

And your second sentence actually helps my argument:  Jameis Winston didn't have as much of the load to carry as Manziel did.  

IAmRight: You're aware that the SEC's defensive squads are no more impressive than anyone else's at this point, right?


 You're aware that the SEC's defensive squads are no more impressive than anyone else's at this point, right?

So this is why Manziel had 454 yards, 4 passing TDs and 1 rushing TD against Auburn while Winston had 237 yards, 2 passing TDs, and no rushing TDs?

That's why the SEC went 7-3 in the 2013 bowls?  That's why the SEC ranked higher than all other major conferences in defense this year?  That's why the 4 of the 5 best defenses since 2008 were SEC teams?
 
2014-01-08 04:09:45 PM  

Grand_Moff_Joseph: I just accepted it as proper word usage, lol.


Because it is - if anyone in the area understands exactly what you mean, then it's proper.

I transitioned through calling all soft drinks "coke," "pop," and now "soda" since people that use soda are the biggest assholes about making fun of any other way of saying it.

As for the whole "it's like calling it a Budweiser"...yeah, if Budweiser had been the only company of national significance selling beer for decades (Pepsi wasn't anything until 40 years after Coke and still went bankrupt in the '30s and Coke could've bought it several times but declined because it was so worthless).

But beer's been around for thousands of years.
 
2014-01-08 04:11:57 PM  

Cowboy Spencer: You're aware that the SEC's defensive squads are no more impressive than anyone else's at this point, right?

So this is why Manziel had 454 yards, 4 passing TDs and 1 rushing TD against Auburn while Winston had 237 yards, 2 passing TDs, and no rushing TDs?

That's why the SEC went 7-3 in the 2013 bowls?  That's why the SEC ranked higher than all other major conferences in defense this year?  That's why the 4 of the 5 best defenses since 2008 were SEC teams?


I'm aware that 2008's teams have 0 to do with 2013's teams. I'm aware that Auburn's team improved greatly throughout the season. FFS, Washington State almost beat them at home in the opener.  I'm aware that bowl matchups are kinda silly and the SEC's top teams lost their bowls.
 
2014-01-08 04:13:14 PM  

The_Sponge: Grand_Moff_Joseph: The_Sponge: Grand_Moff_Joseph: He'll know he's made it big time when people start burning his jersey in the parking lot.  XD


Or when Matt Schaub burgers are taken off the menu and replaced with Johnny Football burgers.

I'd like a Johnnyception with cheese, and an order of pick-six fries to go.

*and since we're referring to Texas*

"...oh, and a coke."

Cashier: What type of coke would you like?

"Mt. Dew please."


Heh.

But seriously....people need to stop calling all sodas "Coke".....it's annoying.  That would be like calling all beers "Budweiser" or "Bud".

"I'll have a Budweiser."

"What kind?"

"Guinness."

/And that's what really grinds my gears.


I grew up in Texas and Tennessee and that never happened once.  Not one time.  I've heard on Fark that "people in the South call all sodas Coke" but I never encountered that in 20 years.  It might have seemed that way, because pretty much the only soda they drink is Coke, but if someone wants a Dr. Pepper, they ask for a Dr. Pepper.
 
2014-01-08 04:14:05 PM  

AdmirableSnackbar: Cowboy Spencer: AdmirableSnackbar: Please back up this statement, Kanye.

LMGTFY.

He holds the first three spots on the record books for total offense in a game in the SEC.
He holds the record for most total offense in a season in the SEC.
He holds the NCAA freshman record for total offense, and for rushing yards by a QB.
First freshman in NCAA history with 3000+ passing yards and 1000+ rushing yards in a season.
He was the fastest player in NCAA history to reach 7000 yards in total offense.

He was the first freshman to win the Heisman.  And this season, he outperformed the player who was awarded the Heisman.

And zero championships of any kind to show for it.  He's the Matt Stafford of NCAA football - great stats, not a winner.  He's not even one of the greatest college football players of the past 10 years, let alone all time.

And your statistical analysis punishes Jameis Winston who had a running attack that meant he wasn't passing or running it himself all of the time.  I'm sure you had fun watching Johnny Fraudball, but that doesn't mean he was one of the best of all time.


I hear Herschel Walker was a hell of a college player...
 
2014-01-08 04:16:51 PM  

timujin: I grew up in Texas and Tennessee and that never happened once.  Not one time.  I've heard on Fark that "people in the South call all sodas Coke"


In fairness, those are fringe-South states and I'm sure with the ubiquity of TV, regional things like that are dying out.
 
2014-01-08 04:17:02 PM  

IAmRight: I'm aware that 2008's teams have 0 to do with 2013's teams. I'm aware that Auburn's team improved greatly throughout the season. FFS, Washington State almost beat them at home in the opener.  I'm aware that bowl matchups are kinda silly and the SEC's top teams lost their bowls.


Gotcha.  So I quote actual statistics and ratings and you're going on gut feelings.
 
2014-01-08 04:17:51 PM  

IAmRight: I transitioned through calling all soft drinks "coke," "pop," and now "soda" since people that use soda are the biggest assholes about making fun of any other way of saying it.


We're not assholes, we just like to remind people of the proper term.
 
2014-01-08 04:18:23 PM  

GardenWeasel: lecavalier: As has been spoken about on various blogs/forums, I would not be surprised to see the Texans call New England and get Mallett.

Houston has already said they would consider trading away the 1st pick. Ya never know.


It sounds more like theyre trying to get a sucker on par with the Redacteds.
 
2014-01-08 04:20:21 PM  
please don't get drafted by the Titans. We don't need another Vince Young
 
2014-01-08 04:20:40 PM  

AdmirableSnackbar: Cowboy Spencer: AdmirableSnackbar: Please back up this statement, Kanye.

LMGTFY.

He holds the first three spots on the record books for total offense in a game in the SEC.
He holds the record for most total offense in a season in the SEC.
He holds the NCAA freshman record for total offense, and for rushing yards by a QB.
First freshman in NCAA history with 3000+ passing yards and 1000+ rushing yards in a season.
He was the fastest player in NCAA history to reach 7000 yards in total offense.

He was the first freshman to win the Heisman.  And this season, he outperformed the player who was awarded the Heisman.

And zero championships of any kind to show for it.  He's the Matt Stafford of NCAA football - great stats, not a winner.  He's not even one of the greatest college football players of the past 10 years, let alone all time.

And your statistical analysis punishes Jameis Winston who had a running attack that meant he wasn't passing or running it himself all of the time.  I'm sure you had fun watching Johnny Fraudball, but that doesn't mean he was one of the best of all time.



College statistics and records
At the end of his college career, Tim Tebow held 5   He was the SEC's all-time leader in career Among many mentions in the NCAA Division-I record book, Tebow is ranked second in career passing efficiency, third in career yards per attempt (9.33), 8th in career rushing touchdowns, and also owns the record for most consecutive games in which he both threw at least one touchdown pass and scored at least one rushing touchdown (14).

Anything else you'd like to bring to the argument?
 
2014-01-08 04:25:10 PM  

Cowboy Spencer: Gotcha.  So I quote actual statistics and ratings and you're going on gut feelings.


Everything I stated was a verifiable fact.
 
2014-01-08 04:26:47 PM  

xaks: Tim Tebow


Tebow's best passing season:  3286 yards (66.9%), 32 TDs.
Manziel's best passing season:  4114 yards (69.9%), 37 TDs.

Tebow's best rushing season:  910 yards (4.3 ypc), 14 TDs
Manziel's best rushing season:  1410 yards (7.0 ypc),  21 TDs

Manziel is better than Tebow.
 
2014-01-08 04:27:49 PM  

IAmRight: Everything I stated was a verifiable fact.


Some things you stated were verifiable, but most of them were just your opinion and actually had zero bearing on the original conversation.
 
2014-01-08 04:27:54 PM  

ModernPrimitive01: please don't get drafted by the Titans. We don't need another Vince Young


Don't worry.  You don't have Bud Adams sitting there doing stuff specifically out of spite towards Houston.
 
2014-01-08 04:32:27 PM  

IAmRight: timujin: I grew up in Texas and Tennessee and that never happened once.  Not one time.  I've heard on Fark that "people in the South call all sodas Coke"

In fairness, those are fringe-South states and I'm sure with the ubiquity of TV, regional things like that are dying out.


I'm old... not "before the advent of television" old, but old enough that if this was an actual thing I should have encountered it sometime in the last few decades.  What I have encountered is that they don't call them soda or pop, but by whatever name is given.  So Coke is Coke, Diet Coke is Diet Coke, Dr. Pepper is Dr. Pepper and so on.
 
2014-01-08 04:34:35 PM  

Cowboy Spencer: That's why the SEC went 7-3 in the 2013 bowls? That's why the SEC ranked higher than all other major conferences in defense this year? That's why the 4 of the 5 best defenses since 2008 were SEC teams?


Dude...this is what I typically post in the daily Civil War related threads to rile the northerners.
 
2014-01-08 04:35:18 PM  

Cowboy Spencer: xaks: Tim Tebow

Tebow's best passing season:  3286 yards (66.9%), 32 TDs.
Manziel's best passing season:  4114 yards (69.9%), 37 TDs.

Tebow's best rushing season:  910 yards (4.3 ypc), 14 TDs
Manziel's best rushing season:  1410 yards (7.0 ypc),  21 TDs

Manziel is better than Tebow.


easy to run up total yards and tds when you have no defense and all your games are high possession games just trying to outscore the other teams offense

and if you want to argue those kinds of stats

you can do a ctrl f for manziel here(but it's a waste of keystrokes):   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_NCAA_football_records#Offense
 
2014-01-08 04:41:10 PM  

STOP FIGHTING ABOUT MY FUTURE FAILED QB EVERYONE!


STOP IT!

*cries in corner*

 
2014-01-08 04:42:05 PM  

Cowboy Spencer: Manziel is better than Tebow.


And he will have a shorter NFL career as a starter. Funny how that works.
 
2014-01-08 04:57:11 PM  
Pardon me.  But could any of you ol' chaps point me toward a refreshment stand?  I wish to purchase a caffeinated high-fructose corn syrup beverage into which carbon dioxide gas under pressure has been dissolved thereby creating an effervescent effect...for myself and anyone who cares to join me in a discussion of an intercollegiate American football player whose abilities have been appraised very highly.  I wish to respectfully disagree!
 
2014-01-08 05:04:04 PM  

thisisyourbrainonFark: Thread seems to be missing something ...

[guyism.com image 550x550]

There, that's better.


She's pretty strong, but holy crap she's unreal obsessed with the freakin' duckface.
 
2014-01-08 05:05:35 PM  

Cowboy Spencer: xaks: Tim Tebow

Manziel is better than Tebow.



Which is like saying okra is better than cauliflower.
 
2014-01-08 05:14:44 PM  
Manziel is listed at 6'1" and 209 lbs. You can take that with a grain of salt, but even if you put him at 5'11" and 190, that's not much smaller than Mike Vick (to compare him to a QB in roughly the same era who had at least some success).

I think Manziel, whatever his actual height, has a really high ceiling. On the other hand, he's not a sure-fire prospect like Luck or someone like that.
 
2014-01-08 05:15:49 PM  

Wadded Beef: Cowboy Spencer: xaks: Tim Tebow

Manziel is better than Tebow.


Which is like saying okra is better than cauliflower.


Um, Cauliflower is AWESOME with cheese sauce.
 
2014-01-08 05:16:18 PM  
I see Manziel's NFL career lasting less than one game.  He's going to take off running with that wanna-be Barry Sanders style jukeing, with the ball waiving in the wind two feet from his body, and some run-of-the-mill NFL linebacker (who's better than almost every other linebacker he's played against) is going to hit him so hard he'll explode.  I expect one or more of his limbs to actually separate from his body.

Also, he'll fumble.
 
2014-01-08 05:21:04 PM  

Wadded Beef: Cowboy Spencer: xaks: Tim Tebow

Manziel is better than Tebow.


Which is like saying okra is better than cauliflower.


That statement makes no sense as okra is awesome.
 
2014-01-08 05:22:22 PM  

Wadded Beef: Cowboy Spencer: xaks: Tim Tebow

Manziel is better than Tebow.


Which is like saying okra is better than cauliflower.


Fried okra is amazing! In everything else, however, both are turrible, just turrible.
 
2014-01-08 05:22:46 PM  

Claude the Dog: Manziel is listed at 6'1" and 209 lbs. You can take that with a grain of salt, but even if you put him at 5'11" and 190, that's not much smaller than Mike Vick (to compare him to a QB in roughly the same era who had at least some success).

I think Manziel, whatever his actual height, has a really high ceiling. On the other hand, he's not a sure-fire prospect like Luck or someone like that.


or Leaf
 
2014-01-08 05:23:04 PM  

Wadded Beef: Cowboy Spencer: xaks: Tim Tebow

Manziel is better than Tebow.


Which is like saying okra is better than cauliflower.


Ugh, they're both awful. Oh, I get it... As an NFL GM, I'd be wary of Johnny Manziel, but if he fell to late first round, early second, even I would have to take a chance on him. I don't think of him as a top 10 talent.

As a Minnesota guy, if they drafted him, I would be cautiously optimistic.
 
2014-01-08 05:24:14 PM  

ValisIV: Wadded Beef: Cowboy Spencer: xaks: Tim Tebow

Manziel is better than Tebow.


Which is like saying okra is better than cauliflower.

Fried okra is amazing! In everything else, however, both are turrible, just turrible.


Okra and tomatoes is great and they also do very well in gumbo.
 
2014-01-08 05:25:44 PM  
I like cauliflower.
 
2014-01-08 05:26:42 PM  

tulax: some run-of-the-mill NFL linebacker (who's better than almost every other linebacker he's played against)


I think this is the most important part of what you said. He hasn't seen more than a handful of individual players that are as good as entire NFL rosters. There's no telling how he'll respond to that. Chances are good he'll do some learning in camp though. I doubt he'll make it all the way to game 1 without realizing there is a steep talent upgrade at the NFL level. So, while I understand your 1-game career statement, I think it's pretty far off.
 
2014-01-08 05:28:56 PM  

Jim from Saint Paul: STOP FIGHTING ABOUT MY FUTURE FAILED QB EVERYONE!
STOP IT!*cries in corner*


...no one's mentioned Derek Carr yet.
 
2014-01-08 05:30:45 PM  

timujin: ValisIV: Wadded Beef: Cowboy Spencer: xaks: Tim Tebow

Manziel is better than Tebow.


Which is like saying okra is better than cauliflower.

Fried okra is amazing! In everything else, however, both are turrible, just turrible.

Okra and tomatoes is great and they also do very well in gumbo.


Gumbo is delicious, but the okra is only good to thicken, then you gotta fish it out and toss it, it's too slimy and soggy and yuck.
 
2014-01-08 05:30:58 PM  

taxandspend: Wait wait wait... he trademarked "Johnny Football?"


IIRC, his parents did.
 
2014-01-08 05:31:40 PM  

This Looks Fun: tulax: some run-of-the-mill NFL linebacker (who's better than almost every other linebacker he's played against)

I think this is the most important part of what you said. He hasn't seen more than a handful of individual players that are as good as entire NFL rosters. There's no telling how he'll respond to that. Chances are good he'll do some learning in camp though. I doubt he'll make it all the way to game 1 without realizing there is a steep talent upgrade at the NFL level. So, while I understand your 1-game career statement, I think it's pretty far off.


Wrong. Nobody under 6'0" and 200 pounds has EVER succeeded in the NFL at any position. The guy is done before he started
 
2014-01-08 05:36:37 PM  

Ivandrago: lecavalier: Ivandrago: What is he? 5'10'' and 175lbs? He's going to get crushed the first time he holds on to the ball too long trying to create some of his Johnny Football magic.

Why do people think he is that small?  I am a bartender in a sports bar so I talk about college football a lot and I have never met one person that realizes he is 6'1, 210. And even if you want to call that program weight, then he is 6'0/200. Nobody is even close when guessing how big he is.

Because that's what teams do. South Carolina did it all year with Connor Shaw. Listing him as 6'1 209. It's hard to call someone 6'1 when they're barely two inches taller than the 5'9 running back they're standing next to.


Well on fake height(although this one isnt sports) IMDB has Harrison Ford listed at like 6'1".

Sean Connery and the guy that played Donovan in Last Crusade are both actually 6'2" and like 4" taller than him, and hes only like maybe 2-3" taller than Mark Hammil(Luke Skywalker) who is like 5'8" he should be like 5" taller , so he is like 5'10 " and listed 6'1"
 
2014-01-08 05:40:10 PM  

ValisIV: timujin: ValisIV: Wadded Beef: Cowboy Spencer: xaks: Tim Tebow

Manziel is better than Tebow.


Which is like saying okra is better than cauliflower.

Fried okra is amazing! In everything else, however, both are turrible, just turrible.

Okra and tomatoes is great and they also do very well in gumbo.

Gumbo is delicious, but the okra is only good to thicken, then you gotta fish it out and toss it, it's too slimy and soggy and yuck.


I keep hearing this from folks, but I like the flavor and texture.  I don't find it any more "soggy and yuck" than stewed tomatoes.
 
2014-01-08 05:45:36 PM  
Roasted cauliflower with garlic is amazing. As noted above, with cheese sauce is excellent as well.

And I don't expect Johnny Footballs' starting tenure to be any longer than Ryan Leafs or' JaWalrus'. Assuming someone is silly enough to grant him the job on draft day regardless.
 
2014-01-08 05:46:17 PM  
Wow...look at all of the NFL scouts on Fark today!  /sarcasm

Manziel's success is certainly not guaranteed, but neither is that of any draft pick.  Russell WIlson (5' 11", 210) has been better than RGIII (6'2", 218), with those two picked out as "dual-threat" or mobile QB's.

I'm a Manziel fan, I think he's very entertaining, I don't care a whit what he does in his private life (because it's none of my business), and I think he'll surprise folks at the next level.

For all of those saying he hasn't seen NFL talent:   http://www.cbssports.com/collegefootball/eye-on-college-football/2216 7 146/nfl-draft-by-conference-sec-doubles-the-competition
 
2014-01-08 05:51:22 PM  

HaywoodJablonski: This Looks Fun: Chances are good he'll do some learning in camp though. I doubt he'll make it all the way to game 1 without realizing there is a steep talent upgrade at the NFL level. So, while I understand your 1-game career statement, I think it's pretty far off.

Wrong. Nobody under 6'0" and 200 pounds has EVER succeeded in the NFL at any position. The guy is done before he started


stream1.gifsoup.com
 
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