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(Uproxx) Video This is what happens when a bodybuilder wants to be a rapper and everyone is too scared to tell him the truth   (uproxx.com ) divider line
    More: Video, bodybuilding, AKA Big Con, best songs, inspirational music  
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4687 clicks; posted to Video » on 08 Jan 2014 at 2:58 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



59 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2014-01-08 02:19:29 PM  
Marky Mark winds up starring in The Happening?
 
2014-01-08 02:24:09 PM  
Somebody definitely needs to sit down and have a talk with that man.  Any volunteers?
 
2014-01-08 02:34:22 PM  
Maybe 90's rock rap will make a comeback and this guy's a genius.
 
2014-01-08 02:41:12 PM  

Mugato: Marky Mark winds up starring in The Happening?


aaaand we're done here
 
2014-01-08 03:06:41 PM  
Dear Mr. Roidamatic,
While I may not quite share your appreciation of your 'roid-fueled musical hallucination, I admire your narcissistic determination to share such self-serving twaddle with the rest of us in your world.   Best of luck in your future pill popping adventures!
 
2014-01-08 03:09:26 PM  
Thank god Big Con is here to protect people from marauding dark-skinned types.
 
2014-01-08 03:10:54 PM  
I made it all the way through.  I am not better for the journey.  For those who did not make it all the way through, no, it does not get better.
 
2014-01-08 03:15:01 PM  
Get "swoll"? As in "become swollen"?  Sense this does not make.
 
2014-01-08 03:17:08 PM  
I will listen to most things. I like rap, rock, pop, jazz, country and many other genres but this was just plain terrible.
 
2014-01-08 03:18:26 PM  
Now everything about him is swollen, including his head.
 
2014-01-08 03:19:51 PM  
whoa, that.... that was... uh... did anyone actually watch it for more 10  non consecutive seconds?
 
2014-01-08 03:26:10 PM  
Dats a pump.
 
2014-01-08 03:27:33 PM  
He saved that girl from Mexicans and showed her how to eat raw eggs.  I thought that was inspirational.
 
2014-01-08 03:28:00 PM  
www.mediabistro.com
"Y'all haters. That's my jam."
 
2014-01-08 03:33:54 PM  
i'd watch this, but i have to be at the gym in 26 minutes
 
2014-01-08 03:42:01 PM  
Yo, that was mad. He tryin' to be rad, but is just sad.  Watchin' it you been had, Just be glad he ain't yo dad tryin' out a fad in yo pad, lad, e'gad.  Are these rhymes bad?  Just a tad.

/I'm sorry
//No you're not.
 
2014-01-08 03:47:50 PM  
I think the acting is my favorite part.
 
2014-01-08 03:55:13 PM  
 
2014-01-08 03:57:37 PM  

MelGoesOnTour: Get "swoll"? As in "become swollen"?  Sense this does not make.


I knew about "getting swoll" because I keep up with what is popular with the younger generations.

comedycentral.mtvnimages.com
 
2014-01-08 04:13:15 PM  
I sit in the bed until I become bright orange,
I like the look on their face of abhorrence
 
2014-01-08 04:15:34 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: I sit in the bed until I become bright orange,
I like the look on their face of abhorrence


No no, it's "door hinge."
 
2014-01-08 04:20:14 PM  
www.northstartradingpost.com
 
2014-01-08 04:40:36 PM  

Mugato: Marky Mark winds up starring in The Happening?




What!? No!
 
2014-01-08 04:58:21 PM  

shower_in_my_socks: Maybe 90's rock rap will make a comeback and this guy's a genius.


Nothing wrong with 90's(and 80's) rock rap, as long as it's Anthrax.
 
2014-01-08 05:00:36 PM  
Meh... Sure he's big and all, that just means you have to be quick. As long as this jackass doesn't make contact on his punches, you're clear to dart in and apply a baseball bat to the kneecap and/or ankle...

Or just get him in the can, when he's contorting and trying to figure out how to wipe his own ass...
 
2014-01-08 05:37:40 PM  
Wait, isn't it more entertaining to just let him go on doing his thing?  I mean after all, there really aren't enough things in the world to get that much of a belly laugh from.
 
2014-01-08 05:40:10 PM  
Sometimes tin-eared older critics of rap claim that rappers lack skill because rap consists of some guy talking over music.

This is a good example of what that sounds like. The most charitable thing you can say about his "rapping" is that he lacks flow. He basically talks the lines without any regard to the rhythm or timing of the music.

it s a prime example of what distinguishes the skill of real rappers who actually spend years honing their lyrics and their skill from some monstroid who decides he wants to be a rapper 15 minutes before setting foot in the studio for the first time.

I know Fark loves to hate Kanye, but even he is farking Wordsworth compared to this.
 
2014-01-08 05:52:57 PM  
You know what?

With a better producer and engineer it could be salvaged into some passable kiddie rap metal.
 
2014-01-08 06:06:50 PM  

gilgigamesh: I know Fark loves to hate Kanye


You're singling out Fark for that?
 
2014-01-08 06:16:28 PM  
I really feel sorry-- just a little bit-- for guys like this. How low must your self-esteem be to feel you need to look like a He-Man doll to be worth anything?
 
2014-01-08 06:18:04 PM  

Glitchwerks: You know what?

With a better producer and engineer it could be salvaged into some passable kiddie rap metal.


I know they have autotune, but I don't know if they have "autoflow" yet. Inflection, rhythm, tone... flow.  The man has no concept of these things.
 
2014-01-08 06:21:13 PM  

timujin: I know they have autotune, but I don't know if they have "autoflow" yet. Inflection, rhythm, tone... flow.  The man has no concept of these things.


Neither does Lil' Wayne, but he's successful.
 
2014-01-08 06:23:28 PM  
While I don't think it's very good, it is a good 'message' (or at least one that I thought I got from it).
 
2014-01-08 06:32:29 PM  

Glitchwerks: timujin: I know they have autotune, but I don't know if they have "autoflow" yet. Inflection, rhythm, tone... flow.  The man has no concept of these things.

Neither does Lil' Wayne, but he's successful.


He's successful because he's number one MC
 
2014-01-08 06:38:50 PM  

ZeroCorpse: I really feel sorry-- just a little bit-- for guys like this. How low must your self-esteem be to feel you need to look like a He-Man doll to be worth anything?


Was best friends with a kid growing up who's dad competed in Mr. Universe. The guy was an insanely nice, level headed guy he just wanted to take his body as far as he could. He wasn't a roid user, he would spend 6+ hours a day working out ranging from cardio to weights to karate. This jerk off though, doesn't seem to follow the same bend.

My friends father took his career as a body builder and went into radio covering health issues, diet issues, working out and everything else related to healthy living.  Case in point:

Cary Nosler

Still talk to him about once a year or so, for his age the guy is in amazing shape. He was one BIG mofo when he was in his 30's.
 
2014-01-08 06:39:49 PM  
s2.quickmeme.com
 
2014-01-08 06:49:42 PM  

Mugato: gilgigamesh: I know Fark loves to hate Kanye

You're singling out Fark for that?


Hell, even the President thinks Kanye is a jackass.

I feel so sorry for little North West. Ugh. They probably think they're so clever and are planning on adding little East, South and West to the family.
 
2014-01-08 06:53:29 PM  

digitalrain: Mugato: gilgigamesh: I know Fark loves to hate Kanye

You're singling out Fark for that?

Hell, even the President thinks Kanye is a jackass.


President also thinks that "'Kanye West's music is outstanding" and that "he's very talented"
 
2014-01-08 07:20:22 PM  
I love when guys act like tough badarses because they have huge muscles. Watching that guy punch, he's never been in a fight in his entire life.

I've got kids I've trained for a few months that could kick the shiat out of that guy, hah!
 
2014-01-08 07:21:29 PM  
Not watching it because 1. all rap is crap, people with no actual talent talking in rhyme while someone plays a record, badly. And thats considered "good" rap. This, I'm guessing, is the worse kind, which is hard to imagine.
 
2014-01-08 07:30:37 PM  

marius2: I love when guys act like tough badarses because they have huge muscles. Watching that guy punch, he's never been in a fight in his entire life.

I've got kids I've trained for a few months that could kick the shiat out of that guy, hah!


Oh, look at this badass,
 
2014-01-08 08:01:45 PM  
The guy can rip a car in two, but probably has a hard time reaching his ass to wipe. I'm soo envious.
 
2014-01-08 08:07:45 PM  

Mikey1969: shower_in_my_socks: Maybe 90's rock rap will make a comeback and this guy's a genius.

Nothing wrong with 90's(and 80's) rock rap, as long as it's Anthrax.



What a '90's rap/rack soundtrack might sound like:

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-01-08 08:12:09 PM  
Heck.  FTFM "rap/rock"


You're just another victim, kid.
 
2014-01-08 08:12:36 PM  
He forgot to tell the kids about taking steroids to get as big as him, and how you'll get roid rage and probably beat up your girlfriend when she tells you that your balls don't work anymore

Also his rap sucks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TufMP8sBYdk
 
2014-01-08 10:16:02 PM  

Mikey1969: Meh... Sure he's big and all, that just means you have to be quick. As long as this jackass doesn't make contact on his punches, you're clear to dart in and apply a baseball bat to the kneecap and/or ankle...


His punching form on the bag at 0:58 to 1:01 is really, really bad and makes him look less intimidating. He doesn't punch with his hips and drops his hands after every punch. In other words, a 120 lb guy that has had three months of boxing lessons would take him out.

Also women, in general, find guys that big absolutely disgusting. If you want women, get a swimmers body. Not a bodybuilder body.
 
2014-01-08 10:29:28 PM  
 
2014-01-08 11:10:33 PM  
Let Capitalism deal with it.
 
2014-01-08 11:57:11 PM  
 
2014-01-09 07:08:29 AM  
Sure is ITG in here
 
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