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(Jezebel)   NBC won't livestream the Opening Ceremonies at Sochi next month, instead will edit it into one package that will "maximize the viewing experience." Translated: "USA. USA. USA"   ( divider line
    More: Obvious, NBC, Viewing, viewing experience, Winter Olympics in Sochi  
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1834 clicks; posted to Sports » on 08 Jan 2014 at 2:10 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
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2014-01-08 02:32:33 PM  
2 votes:
That's a shame.  Being held in Russia, this is probably going to be the least gay opening ceremony in decades.
2014-01-08 02:27:52 PM  
2 votes:
Which is sadder, the not showing it or the grown men complaining about how they don't get to watch a parade and talking about how they're going to get an illegal feed of it?
2014-01-08 02:15:53 PM  
2 votes:
I know it's Sochi, but for some reason I read it as Xochitl.
2014-01-08 08:28:54 AM  
2 votes:
I assume NBC will be ready to fill in if those forgetful Russians forget to have a segment in the ceremony explaining how Ronald Reagan saved the Russian people from Communists
2014-01-08 08:52:37 PM  
1 vote:
I still remember the opening  ceremonies  of the winter games  a few years back, and Bob Farking Costas would not shut the fark up about explaining the dance of the "Child of Light".  All you had to do was sit and let us watch it, with the actual music and narration written for it. Costas acted like he was describing the event for blind people.  Hey, do the color commentary on the actual SPORTS, you FARK, and shut the far UP when it's the entertainment part.

They were just as bad in London.  I pray for an easy way to watch a BBC feed this time instead.

CSB from 15-20-odd years ago:  Dick Button and some worn-out  former ice dancing competitor/coach lady were doing the play-by-play on the Ice Dancing competition.  Every act was the same shtick, from a different country: really corny costumes and stilted "dance" moves, to a montage of music that had no rhyme or reason to it. "First do ten seconds of ice-waltz, then ten seconds of ice-rhumba, oh, LOOK how OUTRAGEOUS that team was, to do the ice-cha-cha BEFORE the Ice-Hustle.!"

The the Russian couple took the ice.

And blew everyone's minds.

Wearing very modern, stylized outfits, more like ballet dancers, their routine was done to some very avant-garde music, full of dissonance and cacophony of broken-sounding cuckoo clocks and collapsing machinery, as their interpretational moves played out a ballet depicting the strains of living thru the Perestroika period and changing your entire political world, ...using only movement. It was fascinating, and very emotive and evocative.... clearly levels ahead of anything anybody else was doing.

And the biotch commentator lost her shiat completely, from the very start.

 "This is ALL WRONG!

"I'm not seeing any traditional steps here!"

"I don't know what that WAS, but it was DEFinitely NOT Ice-DAN-cing!!!! 11111!!!"

"The judges should fail that team with a zero score, it was NOTHING like what we usually do!"

Dick Button was more diplomatic, allowing that it was certainly "avant-garde" and "experimentalist" in approach, but certainly showed great precision and athleticism, with creativity. The Ice biotch just never got over it. I swear she was going to have a stroke right there; had the cameas not been watching, I feel sure she's have throw a chair on the ice, and run over to claw out the eyes of the team. I forget now what level the Russians placed in that scene, but it wasn't important - they had OWNED that ice and changed the face of the sport in just a few minutes. The crowd knew it, and approved, even though miss icedancing queen disapproved.
2014-01-08 06:19:53 PM  
1 vote:

uncleacid: Will Putin be parachuting in like the Queen.

No, but he will be driving a dogsled in to the stadium.....naked. But instead of dogs it will be lead by grizzly bears. He will then wrestle the biggest bear and skin it alive. He will then wear the bloody pelt like a toga for the remainder of the ceremony.
2014-01-08 05:15:06 PM  
1 vote:

IAmRight: Felgraf: Fencing's a summer sport though, right?

If they combined fencing and skiing, THAT would be worth watching.

Well, they already do combine skiing and shooting in the biathalon, so it's not too far off.

They even ran full contact biathalon in the early 1940s.  This guy was the all time gold medalist

upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size
2014-01-08 04:52:15 PM  
1 vote:

cirby: Nabb1:
It's not the Duck Dynasty nimrods. Dick Ebersol is solely responsible for the way the Olympics are packaged and brought to you. Because he figured out decades ago, that selling and airing the Olympics as a sporting event wasn't working. The vast majority of events are not sports people follow year round. He changed it to a package of human interest stories.

The problem with a lot of Olympic events - the way they run the schedule, anyway - is that you get a really neat shot of some people doing something amazingly athletic for 30 seconds, then ten minutes of getting set up for the next event.

The other problem is that most people - yes, even the ones who supposedly love particular events aren't that interested in the events where the two lowest-ranked skiers face off for who comes in last. Unless one of them is really interesting in some other way. Face it: to most people (yes, even the most rabid sports fans, and even the fans of those particular sports), most unedited sporting events are dead-flat boring to watch.

Eddie the Eagle ftw.
2014-01-08 04:33:33 PM  
1 vote:


I'm cool with the old people who watch TV getting spoon fed their pablum. I'll stick to the raw streams from the web.

We're talking about the Olympics, dude.  Not civil war in the Congo.  But congratulations on your resolution to stare down unfiltered reality until it blinks.
2014-01-08 04:07:20 PM  
1 vote:

sovietski: Obscure Login: BizarreMan: Stream or not, live or not.  Can somebody just kill the microphones to the color commentators during the opening ceremonies?  I'd like to actually be able to listen to the event while watching it.

But, but, how will I know what I'm looking at?!?

I need a peppy talking head to let me know that the people wearing athletic clothing and holding the Canadian flags are the athletes from Canada.

Oh God, this.

Admittedly, I don't know every country's flag, but isn't that what the announcer at the opening ceremony is for? To...announce wtf is going on? Having network talking heads during the OC is redundant.

I have found that hitting the "mute" button relieves about 80% of my aggravation at TV sports.

During the Summer Olympics, my center-channel speaker stopped working, and it turned out all dialog was in the center channel, but the crowd and field sounds were still on left-right! So awesome. Doesn't work on all sports all the time, but try it out.
2014-01-08 03:46:58 PM  
1 vote:
2014-01-08 03:41:21 PM  
1 vote:

12349876: SomeoneDumb: Oh, goody! I hope they again edit out all the nations nobody cares about during the march of nations. It not only speeds things up, it gives more time for advertisers!

This is the Winter Olympics.  Already been done.

[ image 600x263]

Hold on a sec. Libya has a Winter Olympic team???
2014-01-08 03:08:15 PM  
1 vote:

Gosling: mechgreg: cgraves67: Somebody really needs to get the Olympics away from NBC.

It cost NBC $775 million just for Sochi which was part of a bigger 4.38 billion dollar deal for the rights from 2014-2020. Who else has that kind of cash or than another major network? Does anyone thing that the olympics on ABC (with support from ESPN) would be any better? Especially keep in mind that generally when you compare the cost of getting the rights to the advertising dollars you make, the Olympics are usually a money loser (I think Lonon might have been the first time in a long while that NBC made money).

FOX, I'd imagine. They've already wrested the World Cup out of ESPN's hands; they may well make a play for the Olympics before too much longer.

Yes please let it be FOX, if it's one thing the Olympics need it's dancing robots!!
2014-01-08 02:30:16 PM  
1 vote:

uncleacid: Will Putin be parachuting in like the Queen.

Parachute? The asshole wont even give a reach around
2014-01-08 02:23:06 PM  
1 vote:

DamnYankees: I'm not sure why they can't do this and also provide a livestream online.

Because there's no way for a livestream to lead into the premiere of NBC's next hit* comedy, Growing Up Fisher.

* read: cancelled in three weeks
2014-01-08 02:21:52 PM  
1 vote:

BizarreMan: Stream or not, live or not.  Can somebody just kill the microphones to the color commentators during the opening ceremonies?  I'd like to actually be able to listen to the event while watching it.

But, but, how will I know what I'm looking at?!?

I need a peppy talking head to let me know that the people wearing athletic clothing and holding the Canadian flags are the athletes from Canada.
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