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(Daily Mail)   Jeez, the ball on this guy   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 49
    More: Stupid, breast pump, clinical trials, cotton swabs  
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5760 clicks; posted to Geek » on 08 Jan 2014 at 11:02 AM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-08 11:06:42 AM
Geek show tab?
 
2014-01-08 11:09:20 AM
Soon he will have one testicle removed, and will be paid $35,000 (£57,445)

Did something catastrophic happen to the exchange rate overnight?
 
2014-01-08 11:09:53 AM
The best thing about Daily Fail links is they cram every keyword into the URL, which means I can mouseover the link and find out what the hell it the headline's talking about without having to give that rag a click.
 
2014-01-08 11:10:00 AM
FTFA

Soon he will have one testicle removed, and will be paid $35,000 (£57,445)

errr...  no $35000 is a little over £21000
 
2014-01-08 11:12:01 AM
I'd do that. I'd do that RIGHT NOW, if someone were to offer me that kind of dosh. Pick one, left or right. While you're in there, snip the other. Not even joking. So, if someone from the clinical trials sees this, sign me up.
 
2014-01-08 11:12:07 AM

China White Tea: Soon he will have one testicle removed, and will be paid $35,000 (£57,445)

Did something catastrophic happen to the exchange rate overnight?


Someone put 35,000 into the wrong box in the currency converter and then didn't bother to see if the answer made sense.
 
2014-01-08 11:13:18 AM
FTFA: 'And they give me an artificial one, so I'll still have two working parts.'

Um... no, you have one working part and one cosmetic useless part.
 
2014-01-08 11:23:57 AM
takegame.com

Jeezball?
 
2014-01-08 11:26:30 AM
"The couple will even share a casket, by having the casket exhumed after whoever was buried first, in order to add the second."

Worst. Wake. Ever.
 
2014-01-08 11:29:17 AM

SordidEuphemism: I'd do that. I'd do that RIGHT NOW, if someone were to offer me that kind of dosh. Pick one, left or right. While you're in there, snip the other. Not even joking. So, if someone from the clinical trials sees this, sign me up.


/csb teim.  About 5 years after having one of the boys "lefty" removed due to testicular cancer I was back at the Dr. to get the snip on the other one (couldn't be done during original surgery due to contamination reasons, if I recall)  So Dr. is in there doing the job and I ask "hey, this is half price right?"  He laughed so hard he had to take a break before finishing up.

/end csb
//probably not even c
///but it's my s and I'm sticking to it.
 
2014-01-08 11:33:18 AM
If you offered me $35,000, I would seriously consider giving you a testicle.

That would pay off everything but my house.
 
2014-01-08 11:35:04 AM
That looks like the real life Holt, the short white guy from the Cleveland Show.

d2wulyrnp9ipq4.cloudfront.net


i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2014-01-08 11:38:07 AM

Jim from Saint Paul: If you offered me $35,000, I would seriously consider giving you a testicle.

That would pay off everything but my house.


SordidEuphemism: I'd do that. I'd do that RIGHT NOW, if someone were to offer me that kind of dosh. Pick one, left or right. While you're in there, snip the other. Not even joking. So, if someone from the clinical trials sees this, sign me up.


What these fine posters said, could not agree more. Take the left, vasectomicisinate the right, and write the check.
 
2014-01-08 11:44:28 AM
I'd do it for that kind of money
 
2014-01-08 11:53:57 AM

skeevy420: That looks like the real life Holt, the short white guy from the Cleveland Show.

[d2wulyrnp9ipq4.cloudfront.net image 540x720]


[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x503]


img.fark.net
 
2014-01-08 12:07:16 PM
that guy is Nut.
 
2014-01-08 12:08:24 PM
eeney meeny minee mow
catch a tiger by the toe
..................
 
2014-01-08 12:12:06 PM
where do I sign?
 
2014-01-08 12:14:44 PM
So I'm guessing it is supposed to be 35,000 pounds, = ~$57,000 right?

Vs. 57,000 pounds = $93,000 dollars.
Either way, not bad money but I would want to wait a decade or two.
 
2014-01-08 12:30:54 PM
Is this offer still valid if they are for decoration only?

CSB:

A while back I went in for a routine vasectomy, and had a coworker a couple days later ask me "Did they let you keep them? Or just throw them out?". This dude sincerely thought that a vasectomy was the complete removal of said testes.
 
2014-01-08 12:34:20 PM
This show already aired.  There was a marathon on New Years' Day.

1. HE DOESN'T SELL HIS TESTACLE.  He has low testosterone, so the doctor wouldn't let him participate in the trial.
2. That couple is not normal.  They divide up the water bill based on the number of times you flush the toilet, and the electric bill by the hours of TV/lamp/etc.  They waste so much time tracking what each person owes every month.  They piss away time to save pennies.
3. Almost everybody on that show is horrible.  They're not just cheep; they're awful people.
 
2014-01-08 12:38:58 PM

LoneDoggie:  About 5 years after having one of the boys "lefty" removed due to testicular cancer I was back at the Dr. to get the snip on the other one (couldn't be done during original surgery due to contamination reasons, if I recall)  So Dr. is in there doing the job and I ask "hey, this is half price right?"  He laughed so hard he had to take a break before finishing up.


I would not have the balls to joke with someone maneuvering sharp objects around my scrotum.
 
2014-01-08 12:41:56 PM

Teaser: LoneDoggie:  About 5 years after having one of the boys "lefty" removed due to testicular cancer I was back at the Dr. to get the snip on the other one (couldn't be done during original surgery due to contamination reasons, if I recall)  So Dr. is in there doing the job and I ask "hey, this is half price right?"  He laughed so hard he had to take a break before finishing up.

I would not have the balls to joke with someone maneuvering sharp objects around my scrotum.


ball
 
2014-01-08 01:13:01 PM

suburbanguy: This show already aired. There was a marathon on New Years' Day.

1. HE DOESN'T SELL HIS TESTACLE. He has low testosterone, so the doctor wouldn't let him participate in the trial.


So I guess it's moot, but was it $35,000, or £60,000, since those numbers don't exchange correctly?

For $35,000 I would think about it, but for £60,000 (about a year's salary) I'd definitely do it.
 
2014-01-08 01:18:09 PM

Gig103: suburbanguy: This show already aired. There was a marathon on New Years' Day.

1. HE DOESN'T SELL HIS TESTACLE. He has low testosterone, so the doctor wouldn't let him participate in the trial.

So I guess it's moot, but was it $35,000, or £60,000, since those numbers don't exchange correctly?

For $35,000 I would think about it, but for £60,000 (about a year's salary) I'd definitely do it.


It was $35,000.
 
2014-01-08 01:52:57 PM
Did Mussolini bite his weenie?
 
2014-01-08 02:20:04 PM
I just can't get a good deal. I had to pay 7000 Euro to get a testicle removed.
 
2014-01-08 02:50:49 PM

LoneDoggie: SordidEuphemism: I'd do that. I'd do that RIGHT NOW, if someone were to offer me that kind of dosh. Pick one, left or right. While you're in there, snip the other. Not even joking. So, if someone from the clinical trials sees this, sign me up.

/csb teim.  About 5 years after having one of the boys "lefty" removed due to testicular cancer I was back at the Dr. to get the snip on the other one (couldn't be done during original surgery due to contamination reasons, if I recall)  So Dr. is in there doing the job and I ask "hey, this is half price right?"  He laughed so hard he had to take a break before finishing up.

/end csb
//probably not even c
///but it's my s and I'm sticking to it.


I was in the same exact boat - lost one, snipped the other, asked if I could 1/2 price.  The doctor instead told me he was going to charge me double for being a pain in the ass.
 
2014-01-08 03:35:51 PM

Kristoph57: Jim from Saint Paul: If you offered me $35,000, I would seriously consider giving you a testicle.

That would pay off everything but my house.

SordidEuphemism: I'd do that. I'd do that RIGHT NOW, if someone were to offer me that kind of dosh. Pick one, left or right. While you're in there, snip the other. Not even joking. So, if someone from the clinical trials sees this, sign me up.

What these fine posters said, could not agree more. Take the left, vasectomicisinate the right, and write the check.


I am with you there just as long as they are as glorious as my real ones.
 
2014-01-08 03:37:37 PM

suburbanguy: This show already aired.  There was a marathon on New Years' Day.

1. HE DOESN'T SELL HIS TESTACLE.  He has low testosterone, so the doctor wouldn't let him participate in the trial.
2. That couple is not normal.  They divide up the water bill based on the number of times you flush the toilet, and the electric bill by the hours of TV/lamp/etc.  They waste so much time tracking what each person owes every month.  They piss away time to save pennies.
3. Almost everybody on that show is horrible.  They're not just cheep; they're awful people.


The wife watched a bit of that, and assuming that it isn't wholly made up, I feel a bit bad for them.  Not as bad as I do for the family members that have to put up with it though.  Someone should sit down and very, very slowly explain the concept of opportunity cost to them.   Also, I wish the paint store guy had told the woman to get the hell out of his shop instead of just caving and giving her the samples for free.  I understand why he might not want to on camera, but jesus christ.  The woman basically admits to badgering people into allowing her to steal shiat.
 
2014-01-08 03:39:34 PM
I am at the age where me finding a meaningful elation ship and having kids is quite unlikely so , for $70,000 i would probably let then have my two best friends, probably net around $55,000 or so after taxes.

/no not the ones in the winnebago.
 
2014-01-08 03:40:45 PM

miniflea: suburbanguy: This show already aired.  There was a marathon on New Years' Day.

1. HE DOESN'T SELL HIS TESTACLE.  He has low testosterone, so the doctor wouldn't let him participate in the trial.
2. That couple is not normal.  They divide up the water bill based on the number of times you flush the toilet, and the electric bill by the hours of TV/lamp/etc.  They waste so much time tracking what each person owes every month.  They piss away time to save pennies.
3. Almost everybody on that show is horrible.  They're not just cheep; they're awful people.

The wife watched a bit of that, and assuming that it isn't wholly made up, I feel a bit bad for them.  Not as bad as I do for the family members that have to put up with it though.  Someone should sit down and very, very slowly explain the concept of opportunity cost to them.   Also, I wish the paint store guy had told the woman to get the hell out of his shop instead of just caving and giving her the samples for free.  I understand why he might not want to on camera, but jesus christ.  The woman basically admits to badgering people into allowing her to steal shiat.


I wanted to punch her. "It's bring frugal to use free samples instead of paying." No, it's not. The store regularly charges for samples. You told them you were going to come back and buy paint to get free samples. That's being dishonest - and essentially stealing.
 
2014-01-08 03:59:32 PM

SordidEuphemism: I'd do that. I'd do that RIGHT NOW, if someone were to offer me that kind of dosh. Pick one, left or right. While you're in there, snip the other. Not even joking. So, if someone from the clinical trials sees this, sign me up.


Yup, same. I never want kids, anyway.
 
2014-01-08 04:03:52 PM
That show is completely idiotic.

I like how these people spend a ridiculous amount of time "saving" money instead of actually working for it. They spend HOURS with their schemes only to save a couple bucks.

Also, the guy trying to sell his ball for medical research is just asking to be one of the poor bastards who has a serious complication from trying out a new drug during a medical trial. Then all that money he saved will end up being spent on medical bills instead. Someone isn't thinking their brilliant plan all the way through...

Being frugal is fine. Being OCD to the point where it can negatively effect your relationships and/or well being is asinine.
 
2014-01-08 04:28:43 PM

China White Tea: Soon he will have one testicle removed, and will be paid $35,000 (£57,445)

Did something catastrophic happen to the exchange rate overnight?


Yeah, I was like WTF
 
2014-01-08 05:13:49 PM
I bet each and everyone of the people on the show is a dyed in the wool GOP member.

Because GOPpers are cheapskates.
 
2014-01-08 05:16:27 PM

groppet: Kristoph57: Jim from Saint Paul: If you offered me $35,000, I would seriously consider giving you a testicle.

That would pay off everything but my house.

SordidEuphemism: I'd do that. I'd do that RIGHT NOW, if someone were to offer me that kind of dosh. Pick one, left or right. While you're in there, snip the other. Not even joking. So, if someone from the clinical trials sees this, sign me up.

What these fine posters said, could not agree more. Take the left, vasectomicisinate the right, and write the check.

I am with you there just as long as they are as glorious as my real ones.


Pick your size!

/also available in earrings or necklaces!
 
2014-01-08 06:00:00 PM
You farkers are bunch of hypocritical misogynists.

All the complaints about fake boobies, but you're all ready to line up for fake balls.

/do they do direct deposit? I'll just mail the ball in. USPS priority good enough?
 
2014-01-08 06:48:19 PM
Saw the exchange rate and I was about to thank Obama for fixing our economy but apparently I only get to thank him for tanking it.

Thanks Obama!
 
2014-01-08 06:49:44 PM
Also... it's amazing how under the guise of "research" the black market for parts thrives. Whar free market, whar!?
 
2014-01-08 07:20:25 PM
See? This is what we should do instead of health care reform. Can't afford medical care? Sell your body to science one organ at a time!

=Smidge=
 
2014-01-08 08:17:25 PM

Dragonflew: SordidEuphemism: I'd do that. I'd do that RIGHT NOW, if someone were to offer me that kind of dosh. Pick one, left or right. While you're in there, snip the other. Not even joking. So, if someone from the clinical trials sees this, sign me up.

Yup, same. I never want kids, anyway.


Won't that totally wreck your hormones?
 
2014-01-08 08:43:36 PM

Electromax: So I'm guessing it is supposed to be 35,000 pounds, = ~$57,000 right?

Vs. 57,000 pounds = $93,000 dollars.
Either way, not bad money but I would want to wait a decade or two.


Yes, the write switched the pund and dollar figures throughout the article.

A quick check at Xe.com shows 35,000GBP = 57,586.04 USD
 
2014-01-08 09:12:27 PM

SordidEuphemism: I'd do that. I'd do that RIGHT NOW, if someone were to offer me that kind of dosh. Pick one, left or right.


Me too!1! No seriously, I've pretty much gotten used to the idea that I'll never have sex again unless I pay for it, which I can't afford now. I'll need one testicle for that, and a Viagra from the dozen or so I've been saving (unless the artificial one they're working on is really super-duper).


While you're in there, snip the other. Not even joking. So, if someone from the clinical trials sees this, sign me up.

I already had a vasectomy, though I was in my 40s by then and have only had sex 3 or 4 times since. Had I known that in some states Medicaid would cover it under certain circumstances I'd've had it done 20 years before. But I'd probably still have used condoms anyway: being a walking wart with herpes is a risk I'd rather avoid. Have I told y'all about the time I got chlamydia twice from one chick, the second time because as soon as the symptoms went away she stopped taking it, so my second dose was twice as annoying? See, women who went for me either had to spread themselves a little thin or be very crazy (near-) virgins; guess which I'd rather pick?

By the way, these days I have amazingly high standards in women: you should be 35 or under, size 14 or under, 6' or under, kind enough to indulge a chubby ugly old farker like me, have an IQ of at least 120, and not get all hurt or deprived if I'd rather have a drunken platonic cuddle. So lesbians are welcome, but no virgins please. And being gorgeous & rich wouldn't hurt either. And if you want me to come to you you'd better pay my way: it's too cold to hitchhike, and anyway I'm not that desperate.

So whaddaya say? Shall we share the benefits of our experience? EIP!


/ I did get a BIE from Fark once. I swear. It's not like all my drunken begging is totally futile.
 
2014-01-08 09:18:59 PM

Teaser: LoneDoggie:

About 5 years after having one of the boys "lefty" removed due to testicular cancer I was back at the Dr. to get the snip on the other one (couldn't be done during original surgery due to contamination reasons, if I recall)  So Dr. is in there doing the job and I ask "hey, this is half price right?"  He laughed so hard he had to take a break before finishing up.

I would not have the balls to joke with someone maneuvering sharp objects around my scrotum.


ISWYDT.

Anyway. I accidentally kicked the MD doing my vasectomy, from the pain of the local before the actual snipping. He still didn't hurt or mutilate me, and it stopped hurting several days before he said it would; there was enough Vicodin left over to fix my migraines for 6 months.
 
2014-01-08 09:20:35 PM

jdbob: I just can't get a good deal. I had to pay 7000 Euro to get a testicle removed.


You should have met my most recent ex. And she was a lawyer, not a doctor.
 
2014-01-08 09:26:41 PM

Arachnophobe: groppet: Kristoph57: Jim from Saint Paul: If you offered me $35,000, I would seriously consider giving you a testicle.

That would pay off everything but my house.

SordidEuphemism: I'd do that. I'd do that RIGHT NOW, if someone were to offer me that kind of dosh. Pick one, left or right. While you're in there, snip the other. Not even joking. So, if someone from the clinical trials sees this, sign me up.

What these fine posters said, could not agree more. Take the left, vasectomicisinate the right, and write the check.

I am with you there just as long as they are as glorious as my real ones.

Pick your size!


FTL: Solid silicone- not get filled or saline filled- but a solid FDA medical grade material. Ideal for everyday household pets. The NeuticlesNATURAL® replicates the approximate firmness level of the pets testes prior to placement but does feel firmer to the human touch once placed. 100% safe and Made in the USA.
 Man, I thought I was kinky.
 
2014-01-09 08:26:05 AM

Mike Chewbacca: Dragonflew: SordidEuphemism: I'd do that. I'd do that RIGHT NOW, if someone were to offer me that kind of dosh. Pick one, left or right. While you're in there, snip the other. Not even joking. So, if someone from the clinical trials sees this, sign me up.

Yup, same. I never want kids, anyway.

Won't that totally wreck your hormones?


I can;t speak to the removal of the ball, however I can say that having a vasectomy doesn;t screw with your hormones.
 
2014-01-09 08:48:59 AM
If I ever had to get my testicles replaced with prostheses, I'd want some kind of jingle bell in there. You know, to get into the holiday spirit or to entertain the occasional cat.
 
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