If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Telegraph)   While others of his generation are poorly-dressed slackers, heads buried in their phones, this sharply-dressed millennial is running a global enterprise, and is all about the bootstraps   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 44
    More: Spiffy, Kim Jong, international schools, hermit kingdom, Rodong Sinmun, Kenji Fujimoto, defence minister, NK News  
•       •       •

2879 clicks; posted to Politics » on 08 Jan 2014 at 10:47 AM (49 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



44 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-08 08:59:54 AM  
As in he will have someone whip you with a strap while standing on your throat with his boot.
 
2014-01-08 09:11:40 AM  
As in someone helped you get get started like bootstraps do.
 
2014-01-08 09:16:58 AM  
As in, that's a terrible generalization about Millennials, so fark you Subby
 
2014-01-08 09:33:02 AM  
Awesome headline!  As a millenial who owns 85 Fortune 500 companies, I totally agree that others of my generation don't even have the drive to smash rocks in a labor camp, much less be sipping caviar and munching on martinis on their own yachts bought with their hard-earned money.
 
2014-01-08 09:35:49 AM  
I clicked the link and literally laughed out loud. Good job, subs.
 
2014-01-08 10:49:15 AM  
Kim is a Turd with a weight problem.  starves/murders his own people.  but he loves basketball and computer games!!
 
2014-01-08 10:51:26 AM  
Mr. Inherited Wealth and Power.   all of 31 years old.


America is pretty good at that too, except our Plutocrats do their killing much more subtly and indirectly.
 
2014-01-08 10:57:19 AM  
As a worker wearing slacks and collared shirts, ironed and starched, hair neatly trimmed, facial hair trimmed, teeth straightened and whitened, drink coffee, friendly banter with my superiors and co-workers, why haven't I been given an country to rule over with an iron fist? I can be despotic, but these old despots simply refuse to retire or die in a conveniently timely fashion. He's just figured out that once you can trump up charges on the old guard, you can shuffle them out of their jobs, and off this mortal coil, in one swift move.. which is an efficiency improvement, to boot!
 
2014-01-08 10:57:53 AM  

Linux_Yes: Mr. Inherited Wealth and Power.   all of 31 years old.


America is pretty good at that too, except our Plutocrats do their killing much more subtly and indirectly.


And that we've devised complex systems that help keep them in power without killing people.   They don't have to be as bad as Kim Ill Sun to be a problem.
 
2014-01-08 10:58:52 AM  

Linux_Yes: Mr. Inherited Wealth and Power.   all of 31 years old.


America is pretty good at that too, except our Plutocrats do their killing much more subtly and indirectly.


meh they've got no style or guts, chubby is the read deal.
 
2014-01-08 10:59:24 AM  
ITT: People who aren't friends with Dennis Rodman.
 
2014-01-08 11:01:57 AM  
He's killing off the competition. Literally.
 
2014-01-08 11:13:42 AM  
"Global" you say?
 
2014-01-08 11:16:39 AM  
He didn't build that.
 
2014-01-08 11:20:59 AM  
I was mildly disappointed when I moused over the link and saw that it wasn't about some artisan/hipster who had gotten rich making literal bootstraps using traditional leatherworking techniques or something.
 
2014-01-08 11:21:15 AM  
He went the other road. Six figures, doing business with lead-pipe cruelty, mercenary sensibility. You know... sport sex, no real relationships
 
2014-01-08 11:24:20 AM  
i.telegraph.co.uk

So ronery.
 
2014-01-08 11:26:47 AM  
Heh... Clever.
 
2014-01-08 11:28:16 AM  
...and those bootstraps are around your neck.
 
2014-01-08 11:32:07 AM  

Zenith: Linux_Yes: Mr. Inherited Wealth and Power.   all of 31 years old.


America is pretty good at that too, except our Plutocrats do their killing much more subtly and indirectly.

meh they've got no style or guts, chubby is the read deal.


i'd love to see a video of Rodman putting it to chubby's ass.  i'm not gay, but i would absolutely enjoy that video.
 
2014-01-08 11:34:28 AM  
Just a Theory:  Denis Rodman and Chubby are secret lovers.   this is the only way they could continue their love affair.  Chubby is a bottom.  Rodman is hung like a horse, or so i've read.

Love truly can save the day!
 
2014-01-08 11:40:10 AM  
My question is why hasn't China wiped him off the map yet? You know they see him as a threat to stability in the region that directly effects their bottom line. It's not like Kim has that many allies.

He's a child of privilege living in an insulated world with no concept of what the rest of the planet is doing. I would not be surprised if he has severe mental problems because of it. He's surrounded by yes men and lackeys afraid to cross him or they end up as dog food. The populace is terrified of him, also. He's sort of a dictator version of Billy Mumy in that Twilight Zone episode where he holds everyone essentially hostage.
 
2014-01-08 11:43:03 AM  
And he's performing so well because he's free of government regulation! If we get rid of government regulation, we can all be as rich as Kim Jong-un!
 
2014-01-08 11:47:09 AM  

zappaisfrank: My question is why hasn't China wiped him off the map yet? You know they see him as a threat to stability in the region that directly effects their bottom line. It's not like Kim has that many allies.


From what I understand they don't want to share a border with a close US military ally (South Korea).  In the (hopefully unlikely) event of a war North Korea is a heavily armed, mountainous buffer zone between the US Army's 2nd Infantry Division and Chinese territory.
 
2014-01-08 11:54:05 AM  

zappaisfrank: My question is why hasn't China wiped him off the map yet? You know they see him as a threat to stability in the region that directly effects their bottom line. It's not like Kim has that many allies.

He's a child of privilege living in an insulated world with no concept of what the rest of the planet is doing. I would not be surprised if he has severe mental problems because of it. He's surrounded by yes men and lackeys afraid to cross him or they end up as dog food. The populace is terrified of him, also. He's sort of a dictator version of Billy Mumy in that Twilight Zone episode where he holds everyone essentially hostage.


Nobody wants to pour the trillions of dollars and three or four decades of work it will take to fix the shiathole country. If they smash it flat and replace him they will have to fix it or have a completely unstable heavily armed, and possibly with nukes, warring country as a neighbor. Same reason the US has not invaded.

Best bet at this point if you wanted to fix the NK is to start a black ops education program. Smuggle manuals on terrorism, radios, religion, guns, and explosives into the country and hope that some enterprising young peasant takes it upon themselves to start blowing shiat up.

But as we know the US would never indulge in state sponsored terrorism (bwhhahahahahaa).
 
2014-01-08 12:04:28 PM  

phenn: [i.telegraph.co.uk image 460x287]

So ronery.


Nice.
Could you imagine if he was inspecting one of Best Korea's new __________ , and the whole thing collapsed and killed/injured him badly? I wonder how they would spin that one.....
 
2014-01-08 12:08:34 PM  

Arkanaut: zappaisfrank: My question is why hasn't China wiped him off the map yet? You know they see him as a threat to stability in the region that directly effects their bottom line. It's not like Kim has that many allies.

From what I understand they don't want to share a border with a close US military ally (South Korea).  In the (hopefully unlikely) event of a war North Korea is a heavily armed, mountainous buffer zone between the US Army's 2nd Infantry Division and Chinese territory.


What they don't seem to realize is they could dump NK on SK, crimp the SK economy for 5 years, and get the US forces to withdraw to California.  We'd declare victory and look for a "Peace dividend" so fast the Chinese would be wondering if the US had been in Korea at all.  That's why this Air Defense zone non-sense in the East China Sea is so stupid.  The way to make American troops go away is not make waves for a few years.  If you can keep a lid on your internal propaganda stupidity the US gets uninterested and finds somewhere else to use it's troops.

Instead of making false sabre rattling noises, make peace noises.  We don't like getting bored.  At most you have to keep your mouth shut for a President's term (ie. 8 years at max) and we're out of there.  Get some "Why are we wasting our energy where there isn't any problems" chatter in the US political class and Poof! our troops go home.  Having some dust ups (KJU mouthing off making nuclear noises, Xi making territorial claims in international waters) keeps us interested.
 
2014-01-08 12:12:29 PM  

zappaisfrank: He's a child of privilege living in an insulated world with no concept of what the rest of the planet is doing. I would not be surprised if he has severe mental problems because of it. He's surrounded by yes men and lackeys afraid to cross him or they end up as dog food. The populace is terrified of him, also.


Heh... With less Soviet-style Communism and more Crony Capitalism, he'd be the Republican ideal. : )
 
2014-01-08 12:23:12 PM  

phenn: [i.telegraph.co.uk image 460x287]

So ronery.


I see I'm not needed here.
 
2014-01-08 12:26:25 PM  

MadHatter500: What they don't seem to realize is they could dump NK on SK, crimp the SK economy for 5 years, and get the US forces to withdraw to California.  We'd declare victory and look for a "Peace dividend" so fast the Chinese would be wondering if the US had been in Korea at all.  That's why this Air Defense zone non-sense in the East China Sea is so stupid.  The way to make American troops go away is not make waves for a few years.  If you can keep a lid on your internal propaganda stupidity the US gets uninterested and finds somewhere else to use it's troops.


I agree -- I've made the same argument before in this and other forums (well, not the East China Sea part).  But I'd say the Chinese believe they can tolerate the status quo, and there's going to be a lot of uncertainty over the ripple effects of a reunification event.  Also, the commanders of the People's Liberation Army might also need the US Army to be next door to justify their own existence and the accompanying budgets.
 
2014-01-08 12:48:53 PM  
subby, you magnificent bastard you.
 
2014-01-08 12:59:31 PM  

zappaisfrank: My question is why hasn't China wiped him off the map yet? You know they see him as a threat to stability in the region that directly effects their bottom line. It's not like Kim has that many allies.

He's a child of privilege living in an insulated world with no concept of what the rest of the planet is doing. I would not be surprised if he has severe mental problems because of it. He's surrounded by yes men and lackeys afraid to cross him or they end up as dog food. The populace is terrified of him, also. He's sort of a dictator version of Billy Mumy in that Twilight Zone episode where he holds everyone essentially hostage.


You have described quite a few elected officials in Washington DC.
 
2014-01-08 01:07:30 PM  
Hah! you got me subby.

I was expecting an American, i'm so self centered.
 
2014-01-08 01:07:37 PM  

somedude210: As in, that's a terrible generalization about Millennials, so fark you Subby


Seems to me "propping" Kim Jong Un up as "bootstrappy" is more or less making fun of people who make fun of millenials.
/now my eyes have crossed for having typed that sentence
 
2014-01-08 01:11:59 PM  

Cosmic_Music: subby, you magnificent bastard you.


This. Epic misdirection.
 
2014-01-08 01:15:29 PM  

somedude210: As in, that's a terrible generalization about Millennials, so fark you Subby


Yeah, my death camps are nowhere near that scale!
 
2014-01-08 01:15:47 PM  
The article is actually about NK? subby, there should be more like you.
 
2014-01-08 01:24:04 PM  
Sub-head: "...North Korea's leader is far more charismatic than his father."

Yup, K J-u-redefining charisma.
 
2014-01-08 01:39:38 PM  

ikanreed: Linux_Yes: Mr. Inherited Wealth and Power.   all of 31 years old.


America is pretty good at that too, except our Plutocrats do their killing much more subtly and indirectly.

And that we've devised complex systems that help keep them in power without killing people.   They don't have to be as bad as Kim Ill Sun to be a problem.


The best accomplishment is a privatized prison system that is not only paid for by the government and run for a profit but also comes with government guaranteed occupancy rates providing a reliable source of forced slave labour. CAPITALISM FTW!!!!!
 
2014-01-08 04:40:24 PM  

Ghastly: ikanreed: Linux_Yes: Mr. Inherited Wealth and Power.   all of 31 years old.


America is pretty good at that too, except our Plutocrats do their killing much more subtly and indirectly.

And that we've devised complex systems that help keep them in power without killing people.   They don't have to be as bad as Kim Ill Sun to be a problem.

The best accomplishment is a privatized prison system that is not only paid for by the government and run for a profit but also comes with government guaranteed occupancy rates providing a reliable source of forced slave labour. CAPITALISM FTW!!!!!


You are saying that like its a bad thing ...
 
2014-01-08 05:12:20 PM  
i.telegraph.co.uk

"This one will do nicely, with a maple-brown sugar glaze and baby carrots, I'm thinking.  He's kind of bony, so 14 minutes per pound should be more than sufficient.
 
2014-01-08 05:28:11 PM  

zappaisfrank: My question is why hasn't China wiped him off the map yet? You know they see him as a threat to stability in the region that directly effects their bottom line. It's not like Kim has that many allies.


China supports North Korea because instability in the region is good for China's rivalry with the US. That's why they support Iran too.
 
2014-01-08 10:31:42 PM  
I know we're only 8 days into the new year, but I think we have a candidate for Headline of the Year already.
 
2014-01-08 10:35:02 PM  
static1.wikia.nocookie.net
well, played subby...well played
 
Displayed 44 of 44 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report