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(Military.com)   Master Chief suspended for sexual assault claims. I'm going to guess teabagging   (military.com) divider line 76
    More: Interesting, sex crimes, U.S. Pacific Fleet  
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5777 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jan 2014 at 9:45 AM (45 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-08 09:49:30 AM  
Didn't know you could do that to an AI hologram.
 
2014-01-08 09:49:31 AM  
The comment section is full of the predictable stupid.
 
2014-01-08 09:49:42 AM  
FTFA: "The Navy now issues weekly sexual assault reports on its Navy.mil website."

My gods, who can pay for that kind of bandwidth?
 
2014-01-08 09:51:06 AM  
Jesus, man
 
2014-01-08 09:52:11 AM  
Ahhhh, just like it was back in my day...
 
2014-01-08 09:52:39 AM  
static2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-01-08 09:56:28 AM  

Cozret: The comment section is full of the predictable stupid.


Why did you tell me that? Now I have to read it...
 
2014-01-08 09:58:49 AM  
I read that as Master Chef.
 
2014-01-08 10:00:03 AM  
Slow clap dot gif for that headline, subby.

+1
 
2014-01-08 10:03:38 AM  
Here is the report of allegations from the week of Dec 9
http://www.navy.mil/submit/display.asp?story_id=78400
 
2014-01-08 10:04:57 AM  
While I know he was going for a Halo reference, the odds of the Master Chief having literally teabagging someone at some point during his career is actually quite high.
 
2014-01-08 10:06:40 AM  

MelGoesOnTour: I read that as Master Chef.


Me too.

Sort of spoils my tossed salad joke.
 
2014-01-08 10:07:34 AM  
What am I going to do with my tossed salad and scrambled eggs joke now?
 
2014-01-08 10:08:18 AM  

MurphyMurphy: Jesus, man


You said it, man!
www.narragansettbeer.com
 
2014-01-08 10:10:06 AM  
Glad my MOS was chick free when I served. I can't imagine having to command much less work with women in the military were right now even an unproven allegation is basically career ending, on top of having to deal with deal the pregnancy impacting manpower availability issues. You'd have to treat them with kids gloves just hoping you don't piss one off enough that she decides to accuse you of something.

1stSgt: Cpl Jones you have the DNCO this Saturday.

Cpl Jones: But I have plans

1stSgt: You are next on the duty roster, with get somebody to trade with you are you pulling it.

Cpl Jones: The 1stSgt sexually harassed me.
 
2014-01-08 10:13:00 AM  

hasty ambush: Glad my MOS was chick free when I served. I can't imagine having to command much less work with women in the military were right now even an unproven allegation is basically career ending, on top of having to deal with deal the pregnancy impacting manpower availability issues. You'd have to treat them with kids gloves just hoping you don't piss one off enough that she decides to accuse you of something.

1stSgt: Cpl Jones you have the DNCO this Saturday.

Cpl Jones: But I have plans

1stSgt: You are next on the duty roster, with get somebody to trade with you are you pulling it.

Cpl Jones: The 1stSgt sexually harassed me.


JAG: Meh, STFU and GBTW

FTFY
 
2014-01-08 10:13:05 AM  
+1
 
2014-01-08 10:20:06 AM  

PanicMan: Cozret: The comment section is full of the predictable stupid.

Why did you tell me that? Now I have to read it...


It's DerpFactor 7.8 in there. Kind of like Freeper Lite...
 
2014-01-08 10:30:52 AM  

The Southern Dandy: hasty ambush: Glad my MOS was chick free when I served. I can't imagine having to command much less work with women in the military were right now even an unproven allegation is basically career ending, on top of having to deal with deal the pregnancy impacting manpower availability issues. You'd have to treat them with kids gloves just hoping you don't piss one off enough that she decides to accuse you of something.

1stSgt: Cpl Jones you have the DNCO this Saturday.

Cpl Jones: But I have plans

1stSgt: You are next on the duty roster, with get somebody to trade with you are you pulling it.

Cpl Jones: The 1stSgt sexually harassed me.

JAG: Meh, STFU and GBTW

FTFY



Except now you have Congress and the White House intervening, holding up the promotions of officers (even female officers) who they feel are not treating the accusations seriously enough.

It has reached the point that have a situation were it may be difficult for the accused to get a fair trial because of 'Unlawful Command Influence'

 
2014-01-08 10:34:59 AM  
More Teabags than Lipton.

NSFW Language so keep the volume low.

Link
 
2014-01-08 10:35:19 AM  
Be careful reading the comment section over there.
It might suck away IQ points.
 
2014-01-08 10:38:04 AM  

hasty ambush: Glad my MOS was chick free when I served. I can't imagine having to command much less work with women in the military were right now even an unproven allegation is basically career ending, on top of having to deal with deal the pregnancy impacting manpower availability issues. You'd have to treat them with kids gloves just hoping you don't piss one off enough that she decides to accuse you of something.

1stSgt: Cpl Jones you have the DNCO this Saturday.

Cpl Jones: But I have plans

1stSgt: You are next on the duty roster, with get somebody to trade with you are you pulling it.

Cpl Jones: The 1stSgt sexually harassed me.


Didn't know fedoras were part of the naval uniform.
 
2014-01-08 10:39:17 AM  
The Navy is the ultimate alpha male career path. It's for the toughest and strongest, both physically and mentally. These men live by a warrior's code, something you probably cannot begin to understand.
 
2014-01-08 10:41:39 AM  

macadamnut: The Navy is the ultimate alpha male career path. It's for the toughest and strongest, both physically and mentally. These men live by a warrior's code, something you probably cannot begin to understand.


I can understand something that a lot of these guys can't seem to grasp, though.

The meaning of the word "No."
 
2014-01-08 10:42:46 AM  

hasty ambush: Glad my MOS was chick free when I served. I can't imagine having to command much less work with women in the military were right now even an unproven allegation is basically career ending, on top of having to deal with deal the pregnancy impacting manpower availability issues. You'd have to treat them with kids gloves just hoping you don't piss one off enough that she decides to accuse you of something.

1stSgt: Cpl Jones you have the DNCO this Saturday.

Cpl Jones: But I have plans

1stSgt: You are next on the duty roster, with get somebody to trade with you are you pulling it.

Cpl Jones: The 1stSgt sexually harassed me.


You sound like a forward thinking, new age male.
 
2014-01-08 10:44:11 AM  

macadamnut: The Navy is the ultimate alpha male career path. It's for the toughest and strongest, both physically and mentally. These men live by a warrior's code, something you probably cannot begin to understand.


Real men's men, eh? Having a gay ol' time with the rear admiral's poop deck.

Face it, the Navy has a reputation for three things, and two of them ain't allowed on US ships.
 
2014-01-08 10:44:58 AM  
the military is for people who would Fail and HR sexual harassment course.
 
2014-01-08 10:47:52 AM  

macadamnut: The Navy is the ultimate alpha male career path. It's for the toughest and strongest, both physically and mentally. These men live by a warrior's code, something you probably cannot begin to understand.


So, mentally strong alpha males can't help themselves from raping or assaulting females?  You are right.  I cannot begin to understand that.
 
2014-01-08 10:49:22 AM  

hasty ambush: Glad my MOS was chick free when I served. I can't imagine having to command much less work with women in the military were right now even an unproven allegation is basically career ending, on top of having to deal with deal the pregnancy impacting manpower availability issues. You'd have to treat them with kids gloves just hoping you don't piss one off enough that she decides to accuse you of something.


It is nice to see you think so highly of women who make the same decision to serve as you did.  I'm guessing that the women serving were lucky your MOS was chick free as well.  Probably saved them from a rape or two, right?
 
2014-01-08 10:51:17 AM  

hasty ambush: Glad my MOS was chick free when I served. I can't imagine having to command much less work with women in the military were right now even an unproven allegation is basically career ending, on top of having to deal with deal the pregnancy impacting manpower availability issues. You'd have to treat them with kids gloves just hoping you don't piss one off enough that she decides to accuse you of something.

1stSgt: Cpl Jones you have the DNCO this Saturday.

Cpl Jones: But I have plans

1stSgt: You are next on the duty roster, with get somebody to trade with you are you pulling it.

Cpl Jones: The 1stSgt sexually harassed me.


Dude, you don't even know. It's not just the military. It's everywhere--lazy, backstabbing biatches are looking to destroy our careers and families LITERALLY EVERYWHERE. In private businesses. On the bus. At the doctor's office. There isn't one of them that won't falsely accuse you of sexual harassment (or worse) just for funsies. We didn't listen when wiser men warned us that their penis-hate was metastasizing, and now here we are: a bunch of pussy-whipped geldings cowering in fear of the inevitable moment when our secretaries will wake up on the rag and say, "This is the day I ruin that dude's life."
 
2014-01-08 10:52:15 AM  

vudukungfu: the military is for people who would Fail and HR sexual harassment course.


We had those in the military and now at my civilian job. There is no test at the end just a record of attendance so you can't say you were unaware the policies/regs and can "identify" sexual harassment.

Clue: just don't talk to chicks about anything but business at about two arms lengths apart since anything else can be construed as sexual harassment.

I did ask the civilian instructor of the course when I was in the military why I had to attend since I did not work with females, she got kind of upset and said it was required for all personnel assigned on the base to attend.
 
2014-01-08 10:53:14 AM  

semiotix: hasty ambush: Glad my MOS was chick free when I served. I can't imagine having to command much less work with women in the military were right now even an unproven allegation is basically career ending, on top of having to deal with deal the pregnancy impacting manpower availability issues. You'd have to treat them with kids gloves just hoping you don't piss one off enough that she decides to accuse you of something.

1stSgt: Cpl Jones you have the DNCO this Saturday.

Cpl Jones: But I have plans

1stSgt: You are next on the duty roster, with get somebody to trade with you are you pulling it.

Cpl Jones: The 1stSgt sexually harassed me.

Dude, you don't even know. It's not just the military. It's everywhere--lazy, backstabbing biatches are looking to destroy our careers and families LITERALLY EVERYWHERE. In private businesses. On the bus. At the doctor's office. There isn't one of them that won't falsely accuse you of sexual harassment (or worse) just for funsies. We didn't listen when wiser men warned us that their penis-hate was metastasizing, and now here we are: a bunch of pussy-whipped geldings cowering in fear of the inevitable moment when our secretaries will wake up on the rag and say, "This is the day I ruin that dude's life."


3/5 would wryly glare again
 
2014-01-08 10:53:34 AM  

hasty ambush: The Southern Dandy: hasty ambush: Glad my MOS was chick free when I served. I can't imagine having to command much less work with women in the military were right now even an unproven allegation is basically career ending, on top of having to deal with deal the pregnancy impacting manpower availability issues. You'd have to treat them with kids gloves just hoping you don't piss one off enough that she decides to accuse you of something.

1stSgt: Cpl Jones you have the DNCO this Saturday.

Cpl Jones: But I have plans

1stSgt: You are next on the duty roster, with get somebody to trade with you are you pulling it.

Cpl Jones: The 1stSgt sexually harassed me.

JAG: Meh, STFU and GBTW

FTFY


Except now you have Congress and the White House intervening, holding up the promotions of officers (even female officers) who they feel are not treating the accusations seriously enough.

It has reached the point that have a situation were it may be difficult for the accused to get a fair trial because of 'Unlawful Command Influence'


Seems only fair after decades of the abused not being able to get a fair trial because of command influence of "Shut up your making us look bad"
 
2014-01-08 10:58:50 AM  

macadamnut: The Navy is the ultimate alpha male career path. It's for the toughest and strongest, both physically and mentally. These men live by a warrior's code, something you probably cannot begin to understand.


The code being that you should treat your brothers and sisters in arms like objects to be used at your pleasure, I take it? "Alpha male" is the term jerks use to avoid coming to terms with the fact they are jerks.
 
2014-01-08 10:59:19 AM  

hasty ambush: Glad my MOS was chick free when I served. I can't imagine having to command much less work with women in the military were right now even an unproven allegation is basically career ending, on top of having to deal with deal the pregnancy impacting manpower availability issues. You'd have to treat them with kids gloves just hoping you don't piss one off enough that she decides to accuse you of something.

1stSgt: Cpl Jones you have the DNCO this Saturday.

Cpl Jones: But I have plans

1stSgt: You are next on the duty roster, with get somebody to trade with you are you pulling it.

Cpl Jones: The 1stSgt sexually harassed me.



I have you tagged a 'retarded', and I'm glad to see it's holding up well.
 
2014-01-08 11:03:13 AM  

noitsnot: hasty ambush: Glad my MOS was chick free when I served. I can't imagine having to command much less work with women in the military were right now even an unproven allegation is basically career ending, on top of having to deal with deal the pregnancy impacting manpower availability issues. You'd have to treat them with kids gloves just hoping you don't piss one off enough that she decides to accuse you of something.

1stSgt: Cpl Jones you have the DNCO this Saturday.

Cpl Jones: But I have plans

1stSgt: You are next on the duty roster, with get somebody to trade with you are you pulling it.

Cpl Jones: The 1stSgt sexually harassed me.


I have you tagged a 'retarded', and I'm glad to see it's holding up well.


My wife is active duty Navy and this little story is pretty accurate.
 
2014-01-08 11:04:52 AM  
When I was stationed at Pearl Harbor there were four accusations of sexual assault in one year at my command.  In two cases, the guys proved that they weren't even on the island - either at sea or vacationing on a different island.  In those cases, both guys were still disciplined anyway.  Can you guess what happened to the female sailors?

Nothing.

It's not a surprise that reports are way way up.  It's guaranteed, consequence-free revenge.

Oh, and the other "sexual assaults" were inappropriate touching.
 
2014-01-08 11:07:07 AM  

dj_bigbird: noitsnot: hasty ambush: Glad my MOS was chick free when I served. I can't imagine having to command much less work with women in the military were right now even an unproven allegation is basically career ending, on top of having to deal with deal the pregnancy impacting manpower availability issues. You'd have to treat them with kids gloves just hoping you don't piss one off enough that she decides to accuse you of something.

1stSgt: Cpl Jones you have the DNCO this Saturday.

Cpl Jones: But I have plans

1stSgt: You are next on the duty roster, with get somebody to trade with you are you pulling it.

Cpl Jones: The 1stSgt sexually harassed me.


I have you tagged a 'retarded', and I'm glad to see it's holding up well.

My wife is active duty Navy and this little story is pretty accurate.


I do not disbelieve that some female soldiers probably exploit the rules, and that is a problem that needs to be addressed. At the same time, I question the intentions of someone who makes this kind of allegation right off the bat, and who seem to take the general view that such occurrences deserve much more consideration than the problem of the rapes themselves.
 
2014-01-08 11:08:06 AM  

JBangworthy: When I was stationed at Pearl Harbor there were four accusations of sexual assault in one year at my command.  In two cases, the guys proved that they weren't even on the island - either at sea or vacationing on a different island.  In those cases, both guys were still disciplined anyway.  Can you guess what happened to the female sailors?

Nothing.

It's not a surprise that reports are way way up.  It's guaranteed, consequence-free revenge.

Oh, and the other "sexual assaults" were inappropriate touching.


"If it's not yours, don't touch it. If it is yours, don't touch it in public."
 
2014-01-08 11:10:57 AM  
dj_bigbird:

My wife is active duty Navy and this little story is pretty accurate.

So, we can assume that your wife is just waiting for the chance to accuse someone falsely if she gets an assignment she doesn't like or does she just happen to be the exception? (because that is what you are saying is pretty accurate)
 
2014-01-08 11:11:43 AM  

JBangworthy: Oh, and the other "sexual assaults" were inappropriate touching.


Yes, that is the definition of assault.  Spitting on someone is also assault.
 
2014-01-08 11:19:54 AM  

notto: macadamnut: The Navy is the ultimate alpha male career path. It's for the toughest and strongest, both physically and mentally. These men live by a warrior's code, something you probably cannot begin to understand.

So, mentally strong alpha males can't help themselves from raping or assaulting females?  You are right.  I cannot begin to understand that.


I can tell you, that not all sailors are raping scumbags. My six years in, I didn't rape or assault anyone.
 
2014-01-08 11:19:56 AM  
Loose lips sink dicks.
 
2014-01-08 11:21:32 AM  
Ever wonder what Master Chief looks like under that helmet?
img.fark.net
 
2014-01-08 11:22:12 AM  

whosits_112: notto: macadamnut: The Navy is the ultimate alpha male career path. It's for the toughest and strongest, both physically and mentally. These men live by a warrior's code, something you probably cannot begin to understand.

So, mentally strong alpha males can't help themselves from raping or assaulting females?  You are right.  I cannot begin to understand that.

I can tell you, that not all sailors are raping scumbags. My six years in, I didn't rape or assault anyone.


The fact that there are any is cause for concern.
 
2014-01-08 11:23:59 AM  
Guys, guys, I think macadamnut is kidding.

//use of "warrior's code" tripped the sarcasmometer.
 
2014-01-08 11:28:36 AM  

dj_bigbird: noitsnot: hasty ambush: Glad my MOS was chick free when I served. I can't imagine having to command much less work with women in the military were right now even an unproven allegation is basically career ending, on top of having to deal with deal the pregnancy impacting manpower availability issues. You'd have to treat them with kids gloves just hoping you don't piss one off enough that she decides to accuse you of something.

1stSgt: Cpl Jones you have the DNCO this Saturday.

Cpl Jones: But I have plans

1stSgt: You are next on the duty roster, with get somebody to trade with you are you pulling it.

Cpl Jones: The 1stSgt sexually harassed me.


I have you tagged a 'retarded', and I'm glad to see it's holding up well.

My wife is active duty Navy and this little story is pretty accurate.


Because corporals and first sargeants in the Navy are SO prevalent...
 
2014-01-08 11:33:40 AM  

Arkanaut: Guys, guys, I think macadamnut is kidding.

//use of "warrior's code" tripped the sarcasmometer.


If only everybody who used that kind of language was being ironic...
 
2014-01-08 11:34:16 AM  

hasty ambush: Glad my MOS was chick free when I served. I can't imagine having to command much less work with women in the military were right now even an unproven allegation is basically career ending, on top of having to deal with deal the pregnancy impacting manpower availability issues.



Hehe yeah, your imaginary world where women are crying rape to have Saturday night free is truly terrifying compared to a few tens of thousands of women being sexually assaulted in the military every year and 92% of them getting away with it.

The solution is definitely to remove women from the military.  WTF were they thinking, having those tits?
 
2014-01-08 11:36:53 AM  

lennavan: hasty ambush: Glad my MOS was chick free when I served. I can't imagine having to command much less work with women in the military were right now even an unproven allegation is basically career ending, on top of having to deal with deal the pregnancy impacting manpower availability issues.

Hehe yeah, your imaginary world where women are crying rape to have Saturday night free is truly terrifying compared to a few tens of thousands of women being sexually assaulted in the military every year and 92% of them getting away with it.

The solution is definitely to remove women from the military.  WTF were they thinking, having those tits?


And gay rape totally never happened!
 
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