If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Huffington Post)   "Everything you know about dying is wrong"   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 83
    More: Interesting, MyHealthNewsDaily  
•       •       •

13748 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jan 2014 at 11:53 AM (15 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



83 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-01-08 12:55:14 AM
Who wants to live forever?
 
2014-01-08 01:47:18 AM
YOLO
 
2014-01-08 08:03:32 AM
The author has obviously never done stand-up comedy.
 
2014-01-08 10:57:14 AM
Does it involve being dead at the end?

Then I know at least one thing about dying.
 
2014-01-08 11:38:28 AM
We're running out of room for local cemeteries

Hence, my idea to combine the 2 biggest wastes of space. The Shady Rest Links Cemetery / Golf Resort.

Golfers already line up to pay ridiculously inflated prices to live at golf courses, I've no doubt they'd be dying to be buried at one.
 
2014-01-08 11:55:54 AM
I didn't know Stanhope was a farker
 
2014-01-08 11:56:10 AM
All I know is DMT courses through your brain when you die, so I'm okay with it.
 
2014-01-08 11:57:07 AM

harleyquinnical: Who wants to live forever?


Get me a philactery.
 
2014-01-08 11:58:50 AM

harleyquinnical: Who wants to live forever?


Really.  Hasn't everyone watched Beetlejuice? That was the Greek idea of the afterlife: infinite decrepitude.

"To cease upon the midnight with no pain."

I figure that's the best we can do, and we can do a lot worse.

/A week ago there were 23 people in the obits younger than me.
 
2014-01-08 12:03:14 PM

yakmans_dad: harleyquinnical: Who wants to live forever?

Really.  Hasn't everyone watched Beetlejuice? That was the Greek idea of the afterlife: infinite decrepitude.

"To cease upon the midnight with no pain."

I figure that's the best we can do, and we can do a lot worse.

/A week ago there were 23 people in the obits younger than me.


Not that you're counting or anything.

Yeah, living forever is not what I'd see as a great thing.  Imagine you get arthritis; you really want to live with crippling pain throughout eternity?  Also, how would be able to manage your birthday card list with 17 generations coming after you?  Don't get me started on Christmas breaking the bank with all those generations of grandchildren to buy gifts for.
 
2014-01-08 12:03:37 PM
I'm hoping to go with the "wrapped in a blanket and stuffed in a pine box, not embalmed" route when my time comes, if that happens to be legal in whatever place I reside when it happens. It is my understanding that many states require you to be embalmed.
 
2014-01-08 12:05:36 PM

Prey4reign: yakmans_dad: harleyquinnical: Who wants to live forever?

Really.  Hasn't everyone watched Beetlejuice? That was the Greek idea of the afterlife: infinite decrepitude.

"To cease upon the midnight with no pain."

I figure that's the best we can do, and we can do a lot worse.

/A week ago there were 23 people in the obits younger than me.

Not that you're counting or anything.

Yeah, living forever is not what I'd see as a great thing.  Imagine you get arthritis; you really want to live with crippling pain throughout eternity?  Also, how would be able to manage your birthday card list with 17 generations coming after you?  Don't get me started on Christmas breaking the bank with all those generations of grandchildren to buy gifts for.


Speak for yourself.  I plan on living forever or dying in the attempt.
 
2014-01-08 12:05:39 PM

cgraves67: I'm hoping to go with the "wrapped in a blanket and stuffed in a pine box, not embalmed" route when my time comes, if that happens to be legal in whatever place I reside when it happens. It is my understanding that many states require you to be embalmed.


I'd like to be placed onto an Amtrak train going from coast to coast, just to see how long it takes someone to notice I'm dead.
 
2014-01-08 12:06:25 PM

untaken_name: cgraves67: I'm hoping to go with the "wrapped in a blanket and stuffed in a pine box, not embalmed" route when my time comes, if that happens to be legal in whatever place I reside when it happens. It is my understanding that many states require you to be embalmed.

I'd like to be placed onto an Amtrak train going from coast to coast, just to see how long it takes someone to notice I'm dead.


I mean, *I* wouldn't see it, of course, but the people who put me there would.
 
2014-01-08 12:06:35 PM
The universe went on without me before; it will go on without me after;

That's all you need to know
 
2014-01-08 12:07:27 PM
No species is exempt from the reality that thinning the herd is necessary in the long run.
 
2014-01-08 12:10:06 PM

harleyquinnical: Who wants to live forever?


For me, it's situational.  In the meatbag I currently occupy, I don't think I want to live forever.  If I can get into a 'body' that won't decay quite as quickly, then yes I do want to live for as long as possible.  Maybe forever.  While there's only so much to do on this planet, if we can develop our technology to the point of being to able to transfer ourselves into a robot/cyborg, then one of the major hurdles to space travel has been overcome since radiation  is not longer an issue.  If I have the option of exploring the universe, then yes I do want to live forever.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2014-01-08 12:12:06 PM

untaken_name: cgraves67: I'm hoping to go with the "wrapped in a blanket and stuffed in a pine box, not embalmed" route when my time comes, if that happens to be legal in whatever place I reside when it happens. It is my understanding that many states require you to be embalmed.

I'd like to be placed onto an Amtrak train going from coast to coast, just to see how long it takes someone to notice I'm dead.


Too easy. They would ask for your ticket and expose the ruse quickly.
Now, take a job at DMV, that could go on for months.
 
2014-01-08 12:12:52 PM

ktybear: YOLO


Like so many other dizzbrained oversimplified cliches, YOLO is RONG, RONG, RONG. The Dalai Lamas have each arranged before death for their reincarnations to be found at a young age. And as the current Dalai Lama said, "I'm only human. So if reincarnation is true for this human, it is true for all of us."

Vincent van Gogh in his last years famously painted furiously hoping that people would understand and appreciate his angst to little avail. He reincarnates as Charles Shultz, who not only drew out and explained childhood angst, but in fact was massively loved appreciated and understood worldwide during his lifetime. And he still had a thing for ears...Charlie Brown always had one ear lined through and one ear not, always.
 
2014-01-08 12:15:46 PM
Cumming and going at the same time. Woo Hoo, although please pardon all the piss and shiat
 
2014-01-08 12:16:06 PM
It tickles a lot?
 
2014-01-08 12:17:44 PM
Read a great book about this a number of years ago.  The book is entitled "Stiff" (by Mary Roach) and it is written humorously, but it also really makes you think quite a bit as you age.

I either want my body to be dropped into a huge vat of lye, or I want to be frozen in liquid nitrogen and shattered into plant food.  Definitely don't want to be buried or burned (though I suppose I really wouldn't mind much at that point)
 
2014-01-08 12:19:16 PM
Forever is a very long time. I certainly would get bored between the last habitable planet growing cold and the Heat Death of the universe. Assuming I can also remain relatively young and healthy in body, as long as there are people around and science being done I think I'd want to stick around and see what we come up with next. After that I think I'd be okay to go.

While I'm not afraid of nothingness, I much prefer the existence of now than the nonexistence that preceded me, so I also prefer existing over the nonexistence that will follow.
 
2014-01-08 12:19:57 PM
I'm probably doing the tree planter bit.
 
2014-01-08 12:20:39 PM
Cremated and then shipped with insufficient postage to a non-existent address so I can linger for all eternity in the Dead Letter Office. Oh, I hope I get the Atlanta Center.
 
2014-01-08 12:20:55 PM
40,000 men & Women every day

/we can be like they are
 
2014-01-08 12:21:52 PM

ktybear: YOLO


Apparently that is wrong, too.

I wonder what ever happened to that French philosopher who thought people only died by habit? He disappeared during the French Revolution without leaving a forwarding address.
 
2014-01-08 12:25:55 PM
put me in the "who the hell wants to live forever?!"" crowd

even if they could magically place me in a body that doesn't get sick and all that like mine does, i certainly wouldn't want to work/pay bills forever.
maybe i'm just not savvy on how the brain works, but how would the brain even keep up with that? i couldn't imagine dealing with that many memories.    after 1000 years, would you even remember your mother?

and what about learning new skills? sure, you can teach an old dog new tricks, but it seems to me that people who grow up with technology are more proficient with it than those who learn it later in life.  i'm still trying to type without error on a touchscreen.
 
2014-01-08 12:26:11 PM
When you're dead, you don't know that you're dead. It's only difficult for the others.

It's the same when you're stupid.
 
2014-01-08 12:26:42 PM

Prey4reign: Yeah, living forever is not what I'd see as a great thing.  Imagine you get arthritis; you really want to live with crippling pain throughout eternity?


Wait so, you think when they solve the mortality issue, that arthritis will still be an affection on people?

/I think i'm biting though, there's this hook in my mouth right now.
 
2014-01-08 12:27:20 PM
Thinks death's a mug's game...

goodcomics.comicbookresources.com
 
2014-01-08 12:30:16 PM
Looking forward to the ultimate acid trip, where time will no longer be a factor.

As for those contemplating living "forever," hope you realize who will be allowed to live forever.  It will take money, so it will be the 1%ers.  And it won't be long until they will want to change the laws to fit their new lifestyle.  Too many people?  Let's cut off flu vaccinations, or better yet, let's just schedule a yearly ebola outbreak for the lessers.
 
2014-01-08 12:32:11 PM
Ah, you're right, Ed. A parachute not opening... that's a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that's the way I wanna go!
 
2014-01-08 12:33:20 PM

hammettman: Looking forward to the ultimate acid trip, where time will no longer be a factor.

As for those contemplating living "forever," hope you realize who will be allowed to live forever.  It will take money, so it will be the 1%ers.  And it won't be long until they will want to change the laws to fit their new lifestyle.  Too many people?  Let's cut off flu vaccinations, or better yet, let's just schedule a yearly ebola outbreak for the lessers.


Frankly, I am surprised this isn't already happening, especially in war-torn areas.  It should be easy to slip in something nasty and not all that long lived.
 
2014-01-08 12:36:15 PM

harleyquinnical: Who wants to live forever?


I'll admit I do.
 
2014-01-08 12:37:20 PM
Bold faced lie:

We're running out of room for local cemeteries and cremation is much cheaper than typical burial.
 
2014-01-08 12:37:29 PM
The trouble with living forever is that it means you have to keep ahead of the competition forever.

Work won't last forever, and to a gentleman or woman of leisure, you have to have money. Money is hard to get, but even harder to keep. You'll have to compete to get it and to keep it, and continue to do so forever.

One of the biggest causes of stupidity is poverty. If, in some future time, this problem is solved, the average IQ of the human race will sky-rocket, putting you at a major disadvantage to your current situation, even if you are the smartest, most competitive human on Earth now.

The Bible says that the gods (Elohim--Sons of El) tossed Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eve for fear that they would eat of the fruit of the Tree of Eternal Life and become as gods themselves.

God, or the Elohim, were jealous gods and they didn't want to share. Or else they were doing the house monkeys a kindness, because to labor forever is presumably a terrible evil.

Clearly God farked up on day one. It is not entirely clear if he farked up by ensuring humans would be mortal and thus have to pay a limited price for being born. Maybe the Elohim were just being a bunch of shiats. Or maybe they did their erstwhile gardeners a kindness by denying them immortality as well as the knowledge of good and evil.

If you get rich, you might be able to have a few good centuries, but dynasties seldom last 400 years, and companies and families tend to go from shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three or four generations.

Immortality, I suspect, sucks. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. You'd have to be a Zen Master to survive the boredom. Boredom is the enemy of gods as well as princes.
 
2014-01-08 12:40:28 PM

hammettman: Looking forward to the ultimate acid trip, where time will no longer be a factor.

As for those contemplating living "forever," hope you realize who will be allowed to live forever.  It will take money, so it will be the 1%ers.  And it won't be long until they will want to change the laws to fit their new lifestyle.  Too many people?  Let's cut off flu vaccinations, or better yet, let's just schedule a yearly ebola outbreak for the lessers.


Yeah. A planet of assholes doesn't sound all that appealing.
 
2014-01-08 12:41:23 PM

brantgoose: The trouble with living forever is that it means you have to keep ahead of the competition forever.

Work won't last forever, and to a gentleman or woman of leisure, you have to have money. Money is hard to get, but even harder to keep. You'll have to compete to get it and to keep it, and continue to do so forever.

One of the biggest causes of stupidity is poverty. If, in some future time, this problem is solved, the average IQ of the human race will sky-rocket, putting you at a major disadvantage to your current situation, even if you are the smartest, most competitive human on Earth now.

The Bible says that the gods (Elohim--Sons of El) tossed Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eve for fear that they would eat of the fruit of the Tree of Eternal Life and become as gods themselves.

God, or the Elohim, were jealous gods and they didn't want to share. Or else they were doing the house monkeys a kindness, because to labor forever is presumably a terrible evil.

Clearly God farked up on day one. It is not entirely clear if he farked up by ensuring humans would be mortal and thus have to pay a limited price for being born. Maybe the Elohim were just being a bunch of shiats. Or maybe they did their erstwhile gardeners a kindness by denying them immortality as well as the knowledge of good and evil.

If you get rich, you might be able to have a few good centuries, but dynasties seldom last 400 years, and companies and families tend to go from shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three or four generations.

Immortality, I suspect, sucks. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. You'd have to be a Zen Master to survive the boredom. Boredom is the enemy of gods as well as princes.


At the point of immortality, we'll probably of reached the Singularity. Do you really think that when we're capable of living forever, whether 100% biological, augmented with robotic parts, or 100% inorganic material, that having a job is really going to be an issue? That somehow by then with the accelerated returns going so far and above what you comprehend that robotics won't be doing nearly 100% of the work?
 
2014-01-08 12:46:55 PM

Nick Nostril: hammettman: Looking forward to the ultimate acid trip, where time will no longer be a factor.

As for those contemplating living "forever," hope you realize who will be allowed to live forever.  It will take money, so it will be the 1%ers.  And it won't be long until they will want to change the laws to fit their new lifestyle.  Too many people?  Let's cut off flu vaccinations, or better yet, let's just schedule a yearly ebola outbreak for the lessers.

Yeah. A planet of assholes doesn't sound all that appealing.


...and that is different from now exactly how??!!
 
2014-01-08 12:47:51 PM
It's not pretty, boys.

i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-01-08 12:48:27 PM
14 septillion years and then some? F*ck that.
 
2014-01-08 12:51:11 PM
img.fark.net
 
2014-01-08 12:51:40 PM

Phil Clinton: All I know is DMT courses through your brain when you die, so I'm okay with it.


I thought there wasn't any evidence supporting Strassman's hypothesis on that?
 
2014-01-08 12:54:04 PM

chairmenmeow47: put me in the "who the hell wants to live forever?!"" crowd

even if they could magically place me in a body that doesn't get sick and all that like mine does, i certainly wouldn't want to work/pay bills forever.
maybe i'm just not savvy on how the brain works, but how would the brain even keep up with that? i couldn't imagine dealing with that many memories.    after 1000 years, would you even remember your mother?

and what about learning new skills? sure, you can teach an old dog new tricks, but it seems to me that people who grow up with technology are more proficient with it than those who learn it later in life.  i'm still trying to type without error on a touchscreen.


Haven't they kinda already figured this out by looking at how neurons work?

You will remember the things you frequently access and the stuff you don't access will be slowly forgotten away. So, you can learn new things and you will lose old things to make room for new things.

Also, the more heavily you access something, the longer you retain it. So, not only time but the depth of usage.
 
2014-01-08 12:55:50 PM
We're running out of room for local cemeteries and cremation is much cheaper than typical burial.

Not for all that long. As the demand for cremation goes up, so will the cost until it becomes comparable to a current, basic in-ground burial today. Supply and demand.

The dead not really dead initially?

There's many stories from the past about deceased folks waking up just before or even after burial, which gave rise to Cemetery Bells (a bell hung over a grave, with a line running down to the deceased's hand, in case he woke up, he could pull it to alert others and hopefully be rescued before he suffocated), the 3 day mourning period and the old tradition of sitting with the dead. The latter usually involved family members who would take turns, especially when funerals were held in homes, sitting by the corpse. It actually started for someone to be there if the deceased suddenly popped awake.

Prior to embalming, it sometimes wasn't easy to determine if the person was thoroughly dead or in a death-like coma. After three days, enough visible signs of decay would be signs they were.

Maybe.

Embalming, designed initially to preserve the body for long trips home, like during the Civil War, with no refrigeration, had the side effect of thoroughly making sure the deceased was actually deceased. The witches brew of chemicals pumped in after draining the blood usually saw to that.

Advances in medical techniques, such as CPR, discovered that a 'dead' person could have a period of time to be brought back before all systems shut down.

Lately I've read where that period might actually be much longer, if techniques are applied or the person died by drowning in freezing water. Though, in some cases, bringing back 'the dead' after a period of time results in brain damage due to lack of oxygen -- meaning you might wind up with a babbling, drooling mentally deficient cripple instead of a whole, alert person.

Then I read that, without embalming, some cellular structures can survive for days, emitting detectable bio-electrical signals. Though, chances of reviving the body by then are next to nothing.

The primary sign of death is the loss of brain function. If the major parts of the brain go, the body might live, but you'll be gone. Your brain is actually you. The body is just a support mechanism for it.

Currently, for a host of various reasons, prolonging the life span beyond a certain point becomes an exercise in diminishing returns. Your quality of life is important. Why live to be 200 if you have to do the last 75 in a nursing home, crippled, weak, shoveling down piles of expensive medications a day, with your primary contact the employees tasked with taking care of you?

Now, if they could stop the aging process of the body, physically, at the late 30s, early 40s, that would be different. You could then chug along until you're 175 and maybe at those last few years, become the brittle and weak husk prior to death.
 
2014-01-08 12:56:57 PM

amindtat: Phil Clinton: All I know is DMT courses through your brain when you die, so I'm okay with it.

I thought there wasn't any evidence supporting Strassman's hypothesis on that?


Its a popular theory with materialists views (and some afterlife proponets) on NDEs but nothing has been really solidifed yet. The tide for death/afterlife research has been stemming towards 1) there appeara to be "something" after you physically die and 2) we cant say for sure what it is/how long it lasts/if you are still "you"/etc
 
2014-01-08 12:57:24 PM

brantgoose: (Elohim--Sons of El)


Eh? "Elohim", literally, means "many gods" - "el" is "god", the "-im" ending makes it plural. Where do you get "sons of" from?
 
2014-01-08 01:01:32 PM

harleyquinnical: Who wants to live forever?


A wonderful question, well addressed by early 80's movies.

The viking/valkyrie dude asked it of Flash. Dive!

Conan's recently deceased girlfriend asked while wearing a wonderfully sparkly set of armor.

Freddie Mercury sings an excellent ballad regarding this question while clan McLeod dude drives his car at night.
 
2014-01-08 01:03:55 PM
Are there enough beans for me to be a million years old? I'm not going to go through all the trouble of being immortal if suddenly there's no beans.
 
Displayed 50 of 83 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report