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(Denver Channel)   If you're going to shoplift at Wal-Mart, try not to cary your crystal meth and loaded Glock with you. And don't try to bribe the arresting officer   (thedenverchannel.com) divider line 65
    More: Dumbass, Glock, police officers, glass, bribes  
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3927 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jan 2014 at 9:05 PM (29 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-07 08:08:15 PM
A Walmart employee picked up the gun and True said he managed to cuff the suspect.

Surprised they didn't fire the employee for getting involved.
 
2014-01-07 08:18:43 PM
 If you're going to shoplift at Wal-Mart

...then you're a moron. They have ceiling cameras like every 10 feet. But I guess simply trying to shoplift wasn't the dumbest thing he did.

WalMart employees pack handcuffs?
 
2014-01-07 08:48:12 PM

Mugato: If you're going to shoplift at Wal-Mart

...then you're a moron. They have ceiling cameras like every 10 feet. But I guess simply trying to shoplift wasn't the dumbest thing he did.

WalMart employees pack handcuffs?


I worked at a major retailer (not Walmart, but in the same ballpark in terms of size.)  I saw the bank of security monitors and how much of the sales floor -- as well as the back room and the parking lot -- the cameras could capture, and how good the video is.

Yeah, I won't be attempting to shoplift anything from a store after that.
 
2014-01-07 09:08:22 PM
Huh.

Alright, duly noted.
 
2014-01-07 09:08:44 PM
And, remember there are two r's in carry.
 
2014-01-07 09:09:07 PM
Fluoride will fix that cary problem.
 
2014-01-07 09:09:41 PM
Is crystal meth a proper noun, illiteratard?
 
2014-01-07 09:12:33 PM
Cystal meh I hll o dug.
 
2014-01-07 09:14:26 PM
I once shot a glock in my pajamas.  What it was doing in my pajamas, I'll never know.  Because I was doing meth at the time.  Seriously, that shiat will fark you up to the point where you'll forget your own name.  Not even once.
 
2014-01-07 09:15:31 PM
If you are shopping at Wal-mart, chances are you don't take helpful advice.
 
2014-01-07 09:17:52 PM

95BV5: Is crystal meth a proper noun, illiteratard?


Name brand meth?

/There's always room for Metho!
 
2014-01-07 09:19:37 PM
Aaand I missed the hyphen... nice.
 
2014-01-07 09:20:46 PM

Prey4reign: And, remember there are two r's in carry.


Someone must have lifted one of them.
 
2014-01-07 09:21:04 PM

Capt.Plywood: 95BV5: Is crystal meth a proper noun, illiteratard?

Name brand meth?

/There's always room for Metho!


images.skem1.com
 
2014-01-07 09:22:26 PM
But, but, BUT; I was told if we instituted tougher gun control laws; this kind of thing wouldn't happen anymore!

/ Colorado's tougher new gun laws are just silly; if they really wanted to go after someone, they'd go after straw buyers. Which is how Methy McGee got a gun.
 
2014-01-07 09:22:54 PM
He was stupid for carrying a gun, stupid for shop lifting, but trying to bribe a cop working at Wal-Mart?  Considering Wally World pay scales I would have given him about a 90% chance of success on that.
 
2014-01-07 09:26:38 PM
But, the real question is.....

i291.photobucket.com

i291.photobucket.com

Where do you put the pineapple?

/da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-DA-DA-DAHDA-DAAAAAA!
 
2014-01-07 09:27:59 PM

DreamSnipers: He was stupid for carrying a gun, stupid for shop lifting, but trying to bribe a cop working at Wal-Mart?  Considering Wally World pay scales I would have given him about a 90% chance of success on that.


It was $100.  Not even Walmarters are paid THAT badly
 
2014-01-07 09:30:32 PM
HE SHOULDN'T HAVE A GUN!

IT WAS ILLEGAL FOR HIM TO HAVE ONE!!!!

Paper laws should have farted a magic unicorn and made him follow the rules.
 
2014-01-07 09:36:00 PM

DreamSnipers: He was stupid for carrying a gun, stupid for shop lifting, but trying to bribe a cop working at Wal-Mart?  Considering Wally World pay scales I would have given him about a 90% chance of success on that.


"Extra Duty" is a euphemism for an arrangement where officers are allowed by brass to work as uniformed police officers, but with their entire wage and benefit package paid by an outside party, in this case Wally World. I can't imagine the city's not dinging the Mart for $200 +/hr, and the officer making...IDK, used to be $50/hr in Denver, but that was years ago...
 
2014-01-07 09:36:07 PM

iheartscotch: But, but, BUT; I was told if we instituted tougher gun control laws; this kind of thing wouldn't happen anymore!

/ Colorado's tougher new gun laws are just silly; if they really wanted to go after someone, they'd go after straw buyers. Which is how Methy McGee got a gun.


How do you know he didn't already own the gun at the time of his first offense?
 
2014-01-07 09:36:20 PM
Maybe he bought that stuff there
 
2014-01-07 09:37:27 PM

jake_lex: Mugato: If you're going to shoplift at Wal-Mart

...then you're a moron. They have ceiling cameras like every 10 feet. But I guess simply trying to shoplift wasn't the dumbest thing he did.

WalMart employees pack handcuffs?

I worked at a major retailer (not Walmart, but in the same ballpark in terms of size.)  I saw the bank of security monitors and how much of the sales floor -- as well as the back room and the parking lot -- the cameras could capture, and how good the video is.

Yeah, I won't be attempting to shoplift anything from a store after that.


I worked at a Fry's once. One of the shoplifting videos they showed us was of a guy who thought he was so clever. You can seem him on the video digging through some hard drive box, unboxing it, and sticking it in between other items on the shelf. Then he just walks out of the store without taking anything. The camera follows him to his car. He drives off and the camera follows him as he drives damn near two blocks away. The car sits for a bit, then comes back to the store. The guy gets out dressed in different clothes, walks to the shelf where he stuck the hard drive he opened, grabs it, and tries to walk out the store. That's when he's grabbed.

Security guys are smarter than you.
 
2014-01-07 09:41:31 PM

orangehat: iheartscotch: But, but, BUT; I was told if we instituted tougher gun control laws; this kind of thing wouldn't happen anymore!

/ Colorado's tougher new gun laws are just silly; if they really wanted to go after someone, they'd go after straw buyers. Which is how Methy McGee got a gun.

How do you know he didn't already own the gun at the time of his first offense?


Um, this guy was a felon. When you commit a felony; they search your house, office, boat, dog's behind, ect for other stuff to charge you with. It's possible they missed the gun in the initial sweep; but, if he was convicted and he served time; he's got a parole officer, who's main responsibility is to keep tabs on the offender and make sure the offender doesn't go back to his offending ways.
 
2014-01-07 09:43:02 PM

Dadoody: HE SHOULDN'T HAVE A GUN!

IT WAS ILLEGAL FOR HIM TO HAVE ONE!!!!

Paper laws should have farted a magic unicorn and made him follow the rules.


As opposed to...NON-paper laws?
 
2014-01-07 09:43:46 PM
Has anyone pointed out that stricter gun laws may not of prevented this single incident and therefore are useless and should be repealed?
 
2014-01-07 09:47:55 PM

YodaBlues: Has anyone pointed out that stricter gun laws may not of prevented this single incident and therefore are useless and should be repealed?


Yes we've been assured yet again that since certain specific laws are not 100% foolproof (unlike those non-paper laws that never get broken) then they are poopy.
 
2014-01-07 09:50:47 PM

ThatBillmanGuy: jake_lex: Mugato: If you're going to shoplift at Wal-Mart

...then you're a moron. They have ceiling cameras like every 10 feet. But I guess simply trying to shoplift wasn't the dumbest thing he did.

WalMart employees pack handcuffs?

I worked at a major retailer (not Walmart, but in the same ballpark in terms of size.)  I saw the bank of security monitors and how much of the sales floor -- as well as the back room and the parking lot -- the cameras could capture, and how good the video is.

Yeah, I won't be attempting to shoplift anything from a store after that.

I worked at a Fry's once. One of the shoplifting videos they showed us was of a guy who thought he was so clever. You can seem him on the video digging through some hard drive box, unboxing it, and sticking it in between other items on the shelf. Then he just walks out of the store without taking anything. The camera follows him to his car. He drives off and the camera follows him as he drives damn near two blocks away. The car sits for a bit, then comes back to the store. The guy gets out dressed in different clothes, walks to the shelf where he stuck the hard drive he opened, grabs it, and tries to walk out the store. That's when he's grabbed.

Security guys are smarter than you.


I have worked a few security jobs. By and large securoty people are not smarter than you. Hell I quit doing that kind of work due to the retard factor.
 
2014-01-07 09:52:45 PM
I work for a major retailer, at an extremely busy store, in a shiatty neighborhood. At least half of the shoplifting busts in the last month involved the shoplifter having crack, meth, or heroin on them. If you're going to commit a crime, stick to one crime at a time!
 
2014-01-07 09:53:21 PM

teenage mutant ninja rapist: ThatBillmanGuy: jake_lex: Mugato: If you're going to shoplift at Wal-Mart

...then you're a moron. They have ceiling cameras like every 10 feet. But I guess simply trying to shoplift wasn't the dumbest thing he did.

WalMart employees pack handcuffs?

I worked at a major retailer (not Walmart, but in the same ballpark in terms of size.)  I saw the bank of security monitors and how much of the sales floor -- as well as the back room and the parking lot -- the cameras could capture, and how good the video is.

Yeah, I won't be attempting to shoplift anything from a store after that.

I worked at a Fry's once. One of the shoplifting videos they showed us was of a guy who thought he was so clever. You can seem him on the video digging through some hard drive box, unboxing it, and sticking it in between other items on the shelf. Then he just walks out of the store without taking anything. The camera follows him to his car. He drives off and the camera follows him as he drives damn near two blocks away. The car sits for a bit, then comes back to the store. The guy gets out dressed in different clothes, walks to the shelf where he stuck the hard drive he opened, grabs it, and tries to walk out the store. That's when he's grabbed.

Security guys are smarter than you.

I have worked a few security jobs. By and large securoty people are not smarter than you. Hell I quit doing that kind of work due to the retard factor.


You're probably right. That didn't sound right when I Boobiesed it.
 
2014-01-07 09:53:59 PM
Errr. Boobiesed it. How the heck did that just happen?
 
2014-01-07 09:54:10 PM
FTHL : don't try to bribe the arresting officer

admitone.limbo13.com

"I thought we could take care of this, you know... in Brainerd."
 
2014-01-07 09:56:49 PM

fusillade762: A Walmart employee picked up the gun and True said he managed to cuff the suspect.

Surprised they didn't fire the employee for getting involved.


He "relieved" a guy of a gun and handcuffed him.

You tell him he's fired.

/assuming he can hear you over the clanking  of his massive brass testicles
 
2014-01-07 09:57:01 PM
The last good one we had, guy was approached by the off-duty officer because she was sure he was trespassed in the past, and he took a swing at her. She dropped him pretty quick, and a revolver tumbled out his waistband. Had felony warrants for child molestation, previous felonies for child abuse, and heroin. His girlfriend ran screaming from the store, knocking our sliding doors off track on her way out.

/csb
 
2014-01-07 09:57:12 PM
Don't tell me what I should and shouldn't do with my meth, Judgemitter.
 
2014-01-07 10:02:17 PM
Meth is schedule II? Huh. I'd have thought one.
 
2014-01-07 10:03:03 PM

Dadoody: HE SHOULDN'T HAVE A GUN!

IT WAS ILLEGAL FOR HIM TO HAVE ONE!!!!

Paper laws should have farted a magic unicorn and made him follow the rules.


Actually since gun laws only  enacted to disable and hinder law abiding citizens....
 
2014-01-07 10:07:15 PM

teenage mutant ninja rapist: I have worked a few security jobs. By and large securoty people are not smarter than you. Hell I quit doing that kind of work due to the retard factor.


I think by "you" he means anyone stupid enough to try to shoplift in this day and age. I believe that.
 
2014-01-07 10:08:28 PM

fusillade762: A Walmart employee picked up the gun and True said he managed to cuff the suspect.

Surprised they didn't fire the employee for getting involved.


 That will be a followup article tomorrow.
 
2014-01-07 10:08:37 PM

iheartscotch: orangehat: iheartscotch: But, but, BUT; I was told if we instituted tougher gun control laws; this kind of thing wouldn't happen anymore!

/ Colorado's tougher new gun laws are just silly; if they really wanted to go after someone, they'd go after straw buyers. Which is how Methy McGee got a gun.

How do you know he didn't already own the gun at the time of his first offense?

Um, this guy was a felon. When you commit a felony; they search your house, office, boat, dog's behind, ect for other stuff to charge you with. It's possible they missed the gun in the initial sweep; but, if he was convicted and he served time; he's got a parole officer, who's main responsibility is to keep tabs on the offender and make sure the offender doesn't go back to his offending ways.


Um, you don't know what you're talking about. Uh, for one thing, they don't conduct mandatory property searches when people are arrested and for another, parole isn't the only way to get released from prison. Um, uh.
 
2014-01-07 10:09:11 PM

teenage mutant ninja rapist: I have worked a few security jobs. By and large securoty people are not smarter than you. Hell I quit doing that kind of work due to the retard factor.


For some reason, I believe every word of this.

/wait for it....
 
2014-01-07 10:10:40 PM
All that at 20, huh? Sounds like that kiddo's probably a lost cause. And in CO Springs, too.
 
2014-01-07 10:11:03 PM
You know why tweakers in most countries don't have handguns? Because if they had hundreds of dollars to spend on black market pistols they wouldn't be shoplifting at Walmart.

Know why tweakers in America have handguns? Cuz they're cheap and available.

It's not that gun regulation doesn't work. It's that America has laughable, often-negligible gun regulation that is easily circumvented by criminals and lunatics.
 
2014-01-07 10:12:55 PM

teenage mutant ninja rapist: I have worked a few security jobs. By and large securoty people are not smarter than you. Hell I quit doing that kind of work due to the retard factor.


Which airport did you work?
 
2014-01-07 10:13:27 PM

Mugato: teenage mutant ninja rapist: I have worked a few security jobs. By and large securoty people are not smarter than you. Hell I quit doing that kind of work due to the retard factor.

I think by "you" he means anyone stupid enough to try to shoplift in this day and age. I believe that.


Basically this is what I meant. If you're dumb enough to attempt to shoplift, just keep in mind the retards at the front are still better equipped, smarter, and luckier than you.

The only shoplifters that are successful are the employees
 
2014-01-07 10:14:27 PM
People inside a McDonald's inside a Walmart are an even greater sub-species.  And they even have glass walls so you can watch them graze.

/sometimes I only want to go to one store, and I need a humidifier, a cheap subwoofer, and milk
 
2014-01-07 10:22:48 PM

CruJones: People inside a McDonald's inside a Walmart are an even greater sub-species.  And they even have glass walls so you can watch them graze.

/sometimes I only want to go to one store, and I need a humidifier, a cheap subwoofer, and milk


Kinky.
 
2014-01-07 10:22:54 PM
www.biography.com
I'm sorry, try not to do what with my meth?
 
2014-01-07 10:23:25 PM
I'm still amused at the idea that someone who shoplifts at Walmart has enough on him to bribe a cop...
 
2014-01-07 10:56:31 PM

lordjupiter: Dadoody: HE SHOULDN'T HAVE A GUN!

IT WAS ILLEGAL FOR HIM TO HAVE ONE!!!!

Paper laws should have farted a magic unicorn and made him follow the rules.

As opposed to...NON-paper laws?


It's Walmart. You get a choice of paper or plastic laws. But be environmentally friendly and bring your own reusable canvas laws.
 
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