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(Engadget)   Paranoid new parents to Intel: "Shut up and take my money"   (engadget.com) divider line 28
    More: Interesting, Intel chips  
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4717 clicks; posted to Geek » on 07 Jan 2014 at 7:38 PM (26 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



28 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-07 06:25:52 PM
If they were that paranoid maybe they'd be more worried about the potential cancer risk from a 24/7 wireless signal strapped to their newborn.
 
2014-01-07 06:56:18 PM
Would shut up and give them the money if any such tiny was still living in Casa del 4ts
 
2014-01-07 07:50:21 PM
Now you parents have to worry about this guy hacking your baby.

i.somethingawful.com
 
2014-01-07 07:52:52 PM
As a bonus, the NSA can monitor when you aren't!
 
2014-01-07 07:58:39 PM
That's... a really cool idea.
 
2014-01-07 08:01:25 PM
WTF is a "baby onesie"? I googled the term, but all I see are links to baby clothes.
 
2014-01-07 08:06:49 PM
"I want what the dog's eating."
 
2014-01-07 08:11:42 PM

fusillade762: If they were that paranoid maybe they'd be more worried about the potential cancer risk from a 24/7 wireless signal strapped to their newborn.


Is it ionizing radiation?

Because: ionizing_radiation? ? You're farked : Seriously, STOP SPREADING THIS MEME.

/Might be some long-term issues based on the heating source, but still.
 
2014-01-07 08:12:31 PM
Nope.
 
2014-01-07 08:15:15 PM
I'll give it 4 weeks till they are sued for either false alarms or missing a real emergency.
 
2014-01-07 08:16:31 PM

Stone Meadow: WTF is a "baby onesie"? I googled the term, but all I see are links to baby clothes.


Onesie (forget the 'baby' part):
noun. An infant's one-piece close-fitting lightweight garment, usually having sleeves but leaving the legs uncovered and fastening with snaps at the crotch.
 
2014-01-07 08:18:22 PM

mrlewish: I'll give it 4 weeks till they are sued for either false alarms or missing a real emergency.


What I was thinking. Also, it will cause autism, cancer, sudden infant death ...
 
2014-01-07 08:21:09 PM
From my Intel CHI research partner presenting at CES:

"oh we've been making fun of that non-stop.

stupidest thing ever. "
 
2014-01-07 08:22:42 PM
Is a doll the best way to display/demonstrate the thing?

YOUR BABY IS DEAD
YOUR BABY IS DEAD
YOUR BABY IS DEAD
YOUR BABY IS DEAD

Other than that, meh.  Another baby monitor.

Health stats(ie breathing and position) are cool, but don't the sensors have to be tight?  I know they do for o2 fitness tests.  One would think that'd become an easy cause for rash/infection.
 
2014-01-07 08:39:50 PM

Stone Meadow: WTF is a "baby onesie"? I googled the term, but all I see are links to baby clothes.


I don't know, but you definitely shouldn't google "baby twosie"

Also, they're soon to come out with a diaper attachment that posts to Twitter.
 
2014-01-07 08:46:50 PM

jjorsett: Stone Meadow: WTF is a "baby onesie"? I googled the term, but all I see are links to baby clothes.

Onesie (forget the 'baby' part):
noun. An infant's one-piece close-fitting lightweight garment, usually having sleeves but leaving the legs uncovered and fastening with snaps at the crotch.


Oh...thanks. Onesie...got it.
 
2014-01-07 08:52:01 PM

jjorsett: mrlewish: I'll give it 4 weeks till they are sued for either false alarms or missing a real emergency.

What I was thinking. Also, it will cause autism, cancer, sudden infant death ...


And insomnia in pediatricians.

*ring* *ring* OH MY GOD MY BABY'S HEART RATE WENT UP 1BPM FOR THE PAST FIVE MINUTES
 
2014-01-07 08:53:51 PM

fusillade762: If they were that paranoid maybe they'd be more worried about the potential cancer risk from a 24/7 wireless signal strapped to their newborn.


SIDS is a real thing, cancer from wireless since because everywhere like such as wireless is not.  Whether this can actually prevent a death from SIDS, who knows.
 
2014-01-07 09:00:39 PM

Stone Meadow: jjorsett: Stone Meadow: WTF is a "baby onesie"? I googled the term, but all I see are links to baby clothes.

Onesie (forget the 'baby' part):
noun. An infant's one-piece close-fitting lightweight garment, usually having sleeves but leaving the legs uncovered and fastening with snaps at the crotch.

Oh...thanks. Onesie...got it.


You'll really want to specify the 'baby' part, though.

Otherwise...

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2014-01-07 09:05:35 PM
Yeowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!

*burns fingers*

/and laughs out loud...plus 1 to you, sir!
 
2014-01-07 09:11:42 PM

pizen: Stone Meadow: jjorsett: Stone Meadow: WTF is a "baby onesie"? I googled the term, but all I see are links to baby clothes.

Onesie (forget the 'baby' part):
noun. An infant's one-piece close-fitting lightweight garment, usually having sleeves but leaving the legs uncovered and fastening with snaps at the crotch.

Oh...thanks. Onesie...got it.

You'll really want to specify the 'baby' part, though.

Otherwise...

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x547]


www.kazoostate.com
 
2014-01-07 09:33:37 PM

pizen: Otherwise...

i.dailymail.co.uk


www.startrek.com
 
2014-01-07 09:34:59 PM
I'm actually interested in the chip and what it can do and what people will do with it since Intel is trying to push it to other hardware makers to put in various wearable technologies.  Below is from an article I read, pretty impressive considering the size.

Intel CEO Brian Krzanich unveiled the device during his keynote speech in Las Vegas, boasting that the tiny device is in fact a Pentium class PC powered by a dual-core Quark system on chip (SoC).
The Edison chip runs Linux, and despite its size, has built-in WiFi and Bluetooth modules. The device can also connect to its own app store, Krzanich boasted, adding that he hopes developers will snap up Edison to build the next generation of wearable and connected devices.
 
2014-01-07 09:44:12 PM
Oh just have a chip implanted at birth and get it over with.
 
2014-01-07 09:56:35 PM
Intel passes internal QA test for chip in Asia. Chip fails. Parents sue. Intel lawyers-up. Parents forgot that babies didn't need chip to monitor health in previous history. Parents fail as parents. No money for parents. Parents make new baby.
 
2014-01-07 11:39:26 PM
Pussies, everyone's a god damn pussy.   80 years ago these were the shiat.

img.fark.net

I imagine something similar is popular in China nowadays.  Get them breathing that fresh city air.
 
2014-01-08 01:22:15 AM
WHAR DEAD BABBY JOKES!?!

WHAR!!!
 
2014-01-08 05:27:30 AM

meyerkev: fusillade762: If they were that paranoid maybe they'd be more worried about the potential cancer risk from a 24/7 wireless signal strapped to their newborn.

Is it ionizing radiation?

Because: ionizing_radiation? ? You're farked : Seriously, STOP SPREADING THIS MEME.

/Might be some long-term issues based on the heating source, but still.


It's a mini microwave.

/Tenderizing radiation
 
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