Fonaibung: Or when you are too uneducated to avoid splitting infinitives, subby.
skinink: So if you want to rob a bank, you better be a Harvard graduate.
Why Would I Read the Article: It was only a few short years ago when Antioch actually really was a great place to live, grow up, and raise a family. Then they allowed Section 8's to move in, and the entire city was a crime-ridden wasteland within a year. It's no longer safe to even be within city limits now.
SmackLT: Stand back, everybody, he's got a gub
olddeegee: [i220.photobucket.com image 316x195]
WTFDYW: I would LOVE to see meows robber note. That would be FARK worthy, for sure.
meow said the dog: [img.fark.net image 750x600]
Guuberre: Jaymel... Jimmel... Jammal... ?[images3.wikia.nocookie.net image 500x313]
mcmnky: Guuberre: Jaymel... Jimmel... Jammal... ?[images3.wikia.nocookie.net image 500x313]
brantgoose: Dear Bank Teller, Ms. FarthingaleI am standing here righting this note because I believe in the importance of the personal touch in business transactions. I hope you will not take it amiss if I presume to a familiarity which is not sanctioned by long acquaintance and call you Jane.This is, sweet Jane, as they say in the vulgar but concise terminology of the vernacular argot, a stick-up. No, do not look alarmed! I have a gun, a really sweet but deadly Lady's Special with a Mother of Pearl Intaglio Handle and enamel appointments on the barrel, and I am not afraid to use it although I hope I shall not have to use it on you today because you really strike me as a smart girl in both senses of the word.If you cooperate discretely with me, I will make this easy for you and be on my merry way before you know it!Please take all the money in your tray (I almost committed the social but not grammatical solecism of writing "drawers"!) and place it in this charming hand-quilted crewel pattern bag). Quietly, now, please! And don't shift your foot to tap that button I know is just to the left of your foot.There was that difficult? Perhaps if your heart is racing and you are frightening, but remember, this is purely a financial transaction and I have no personal animosity towards you at all.Now, I will walk away with my bag. Do not scream. Do not fret. Do not call out to the security guards. Let the next customer wait a moment while you pretend to write something down. Remember, you have no money to disburse to her!And please, my apologies if I have inconvenienced you. I thank you for your compliance and professional demeanour during this robbery.Love,MarthaTa! Ta!
brantgoose: And I always get discreetly wrong.
walktoanarcade: Fonaibung: Or when you are too uneducated to avoid splitting infinitives, subby.To be fair, if someone were to take a person's wallet, most people would say: "Give me my wallet back." , not the correct "Give me back my wallet." so shouldn't we as a society let subby slide?*shrug*
socoloco: Yet a banker wearing an Armani can steal the wealth of thousands, live in the lap of luxury, get a bonus and farking retire.
If you like these links, you'll love
More Fark for your buck
Sign up for the Fark NotNewsletter!
Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.
When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.
Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.
You need to create an account to submit links or post comments.
Click here to submit a link.
Also on Fark
Submit a Link »
Copyright © 1999 - 2018 Fark, Inc | Last updated: Feb 23 2018 19:44:09
Runtime: 0.396 sec (396 ms)