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(CBS News)   Velveeta shortage may force football fans to try real cheese   (cbsnews.com) divider line 81
    More: Cool, Velveeta, football fans, Kraft, Velveeta shortage, MoneyWatch, brand extension, Ad Age, thin-slicing  
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1739 clicks; posted to Business » on 07 Jan 2014 at 2:37 PM (36 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



81 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-01-07 01:52:07 PM
All the liquor stores by me have not been able to get my brand of bourbon since Christmas. I can live without velveeta, but not without good bourbon.
 
2014-01-07 02:05:33 PM
A Velveeta ad from 1928.

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-01-07 02:08:41 PM
American cheese isn't cheese, and you're all untrainable savages for trying to call it such.
 
2014-01-07 02:15:18 PM
If your cheese doesn't smell like a used gym sock, you're an uncultured heathen.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-01-07 02:34:33 PM
What IS Velveeta anyway?  "Processed cheese product" means "not close enough to being real cheese to legally call it that, but we hope you won't notice the difference".
 
2014-01-07 02:40:04 PM

Sybarite: A Velveeta ad from 1928.


"Your dealer will supply you."

Heh. I'm picturing some guy clandestinely selling boxes of Velveeta from the back of a truck in an alley. Thankfully we have more liberal views on processed cheese foods these days and you can openly buy it in supermarkets everywhere (well, at least when there's not a shortage).
 
2014-01-07 02:44:30 PM

reported: Sybarite: A Velveeta ad from 1928.

"Your dealer will supply you."

Heh. I'm picturing some guy clandestinely selling boxes of Velveeta from the back of a truck in an alley. Thankfully we have more liberal views on processed cheese foods these days and you can openly buy it in supermarkets everywhere (well, at least when there's not a shortage).


You say that you can buy it openly, you probably live in a tin roofed shack or a mobile home.  The folks at the club would ostracize me if the saw me purchase it.
 
2014-01-07 02:45:29 PM
Mmmm, Velveeta makes a great grilled cheese and mac n' cheese. Total comfort food, when you don't feel like a fancy version of those things.
 
2014-01-07 02:50:06 PM
Uhh, I live in WI. Fark Velveeta. Also, the Vikings.
 
2014-01-07 02:51:14 PM
Gotta have it for queso.

a3.urbancdn.com
 
2014-01-07 02:51:22 PM

Sybarite: A Velveeta ad from 1928.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 480x1024]


I miss advertising that consisted of picture or two, and then a wall of text. The hype just flows like water: "Velveeta: it's a super-cheese!"

Reminds me of the old DAK catalogs I used to read:

www.textfiles.com
 
2014-01-07 03:02:42 PM

vpb: What IS Velveeta anyway?  "Processed cheese product" means "not close enough to being real cheese to legally call it that, but we hope you won't notice the difference".


Here ya go.
 
2014-01-07 03:13:54 PM
No Velveeta and Rotel dip at my Superbowl Party? Nooooooooooooooooo!
 
2014-01-07 03:17:29 PM

EvilEgg: If your cheese doesn't smell like a used gym sock, you're an uncultured heathen.


whey a second, i saw that.
 
2014-01-07 03:19:41 PM
Did you get my cheezewhiz boy?
 
2014-01-07 03:25:03 PM
I have a cheese pantry in my neighborhood and I laugh at your meager attempts at cheese.
 
2014-01-07 03:31:14 PM

Gosling: I have a cheese pantry in my neighborhood and I laugh at your meager attempts at cheese.


WTF chocolate cheese, is that something to brag about?
 
2014-01-07 03:36:19 PM

jaytkay: WTF chocolate cheese, is that something to brag about?


When it looks like this, yes.

www.mralancooper.com
 
2014-01-07 03:44:25 PM
What always gets me is on food shows they will have a cheese steak place on and the ywill go on about how great the meat is, how fresh the lettuce, tomatos, onions, etc are. But in the end they always seem to put crap cheese on it. It almost seems to me like taking the Mona Lisa and drawing a penis on it. Is it a culture thing, a cheese steak thing or stupid thing.
 
2014-01-07 03:45:30 PM

Uzzah: Sybarite: A Velveeta ad from 1928.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 480x1024]

I miss advertising that consisted of picture or two, and then a wall of text. The hype just flows like water: "Velveeta: it's a super-cheese!"

Reminds me of the old DAK catalogs I used to read:

[www.textfiles.com image 800x1044]


I haven't seen a DAK catalog for ages.  They were fun to browse through.
 
2014-01-07 04:07:41 PM
I invested in a queso this stuff a month ago.  Just in case-oh.
 
2014-01-07 04:15:20 PM
Mix Velveeta and Nalley's Jalapeno chili together and it makes a good chip dip.
 
2014-01-07 04:19:44 PM
Make your own sauce.

3 tablespoons butter
3 tablespoons flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon ground black or white pepper
1 1/2 cups milk
1 cup grated sharp Cheddar

Melt butter; remove from heat. Stir in flour and seasonings. Gradually add milk, stirring until well mixed. Cook over low heat, stirring constantly, until thickened and smooth. Cook for 5 minutes longer; add cheese. Stir until smooth and well blended.
Makes 2 cups.

/Moar chedar == thicker
//No longer buy Velveeta
 
2014-01-07 04:23:55 PM

unyon: American cheese isn't cheese, and you're all untrainable savages for trying to call it such.


American cheese is milder than most cheeses, it's not terrible.

EvilEgg: If your cheese doesn't smell like a used gym sock, you're an uncultured heathen.


I hardly think gruyere, parmesan, and gouda (personal favorites) smell like that.
 
2014-01-07 04:25:06 PM
What if you put Velveeta on Belvita biscuits?  (First time I heard ads for those I thought they were talking about Velveeta biscuits.)
 
2014-01-07 04:31:30 PM

mainstreet62: American cheese is milder than most cheeses, it's not terrible.


Great  on a sammich with bologna, spam, and the like.
 
2014-01-07 04:38:02 PM
Havarti and buttercase are good grilled cheese sandwich cheeses.
 
2014-01-07 04:43:29 PM

Odoriferous Queef: mainstreet62: American cheese is milder than most cheeses, it's not terrible.

Great  on a sammich with bologna, spam, and the like.


"Great" is an overstatement.

American cheese isn't terrible. Velveeta *is* terrible, except when used in a dip.

Both of them are poor substitutes for real cheese. And no, neither American cheese nor Velveeta are actually cheese. They're...cheese-flavored petroleum products.
 
2014-01-07 04:52:27 PM

realmolo: Odoriferous Queef: mainstreet62: American cheese is milder than most cheeses, it's not terrible.

Great  on a sammich with bologna, spam, and the like.

"Great" is an overstatement.


I think "Great" is a good description considering the context. For example I would not put Black Diamond extra sharp cheddar on a spam sandwich. American is a perfect match, quality wise.

realmolo: Velveeta *is* terrible, except when used in a dip.

Both of them are poor substitutes for real cheese. And no, neither American cheese nor Velveeta are actually cheese. They're...cheese-flavored petroleum products.


Yeppers.
 
2014-01-07 04:54:51 PM
Melt Velveeta and a can of Hormel chili.  Looks disgusting but makes for an excellent dip

/fair warning - you may need to install a seat belt on your toilet for the next day, especially if mixing with beer
 
2014-01-07 04:58:11 PM
Why go for Velveeta when you can get vaginal cheese for free?

/fresh churned.
//dick-cheese logs: $3.75 through January 10.
 
2014-01-07 05:09:03 PM

poconojoe: Melt Velveeta and a can of Hormel chili.  Looks disgusting but makes for an excellent dip

/fair warning - you may need to install a seat belt on your toilet for the next day, especially if mixing with beer



Philistine- every knows it should be RoTel and Velveeta (a double dose as a side of imodium goes well with this)
 
2014-01-07 05:13:34 PM

sdd2000: poconojoe: Melt Velveeta and a can of Hormel chili.  Looks disgusting but makes for an excellent dip

/fair warning - you may need to install a seat belt on your toilet for the next day, especially if mixing with beer


Philistine- every knows it should be RoTel and Velveeta (a double dose as a side of imodium goes well with this)


Why not both? That's how I roll, and it is damn tasty.
 
2014-01-07 05:18:04 PM
I buy a small box of velveeta in the spring for the "Hurricane Prep" Box - it usually stays there until the winter "food pantry" collections - mostly because I forget it is there in the interim
 
2014-01-07 05:26:11 PM
I've heard that, before they throw the dye into it, Velveeta is...semi-opaque/clear.  Like Vaseline-ish.

/would eat anyway.
//Goy
 
2014-01-07 05:29:03 PM

poconojoe: Melt Velveeta and a can of Hormel chili.  Looks disgusting but makes for an excellent dip

/fair warning - you may need to install a seat belt on your toilet for the next day, especially if mixing with beer


Oh man, this.
 
2014-01-07 05:32:38 PM

Oldiron_79: Did you get my cheezewhiz boy?


img.fark.net
 
2014-01-07 05:48:10 PM

Maud Dib: Gotta have it for queso.


Uh... no, you don't.

Try some queso blanco dip http://mexican.food.com/recipe/queso-blanco-mexican-white-cheese-dip-3 7768

/no linky because mobile
//pleeeeease, people! Velveeta is not cheese!
 
2014-01-07 05:50:08 PM

McGrits: Havarti and buttercase are good grilled cheese sandwich cheeses.


I loves me some Havarti in an omelette.

Now I'm hungry.
 
2014-01-07 05:59:37 PM
Just get actual cheese you fools!
 
2014-01-07 06:06:16 PM
unhmagazine.unh.edu

UNH alumni know it's not Karl's fault this time.
 
2014-01-07 06:41:08 PM

Odoriferous Queef: Make your own sauce.

3 tablespoons butter
3 tablespoons flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon ground black or white pepper
1 1/2 cups milk
1 cup grated sharp Cheddar

Melt butter; remove from heat. Stir in flour and seasonings. Gradually add milk, stirring until well mixed. Cook over low heat, stirring constantly, until thickened and smooth. Cook for 5 minutes longer; add cheese. Stir until smooth and well blended.
Makes 2 cups.

/Moar chedar == thicker
//No longer buy Velveeta


Make your own cheese sauce

1 block Velveeta.
1 can rotelle

Microwave to desired consistency. Oh, and I also saved you $10and 45inutes of your life.
 
2014-01-07 06:52:24 PM

Odoriferous Queef: mainstreet62: American cheese is milder than most cheeses, it's not terrible.

Great  on a sammich with bologna, spam, and the like.


I don't care for it as a sandwich cheese, but I do prefer Velveeta slices for my grilled cheese sandwiches.  It melts faster than most other cheeses so it gets nice and gooey before the bread burns.

Decent sandwich bread, two slices of Velveeta American cheese, fresh off the bone ham, and a runny fried egg make for a damn near perfect grilled cheese.
 
2014-01-07 06:55:33 PM

rugman11: Decent sandwich bread, two slices of Velveeta American cheese, fresh off the bone ham, and a runny fried egg make for a damn near perfect grilled cheese.



and fried in bacon grease.

/hey why does my chest hurt?
//what's wrong with my left arm?
///HHHHRRRRNNNGGGG!!!11!
 
2014-01-07 06:56:51 PM
Velveeta, milk, and shells.  perfect mac n cheese
 
2014-01-07 07:01:29 PM

Maud Dib: Gotta have it for queso.

[a3.urbancdn.com image 640x548]


No, no, no. White American cheese makes superior queso, and it's not much more. Get it at the deli counter.
 
2014-01-07 07:04:28 PM

groppet: What always gets me is on food shows they will have a cheese steak place on and the ywill go on about how great the meat is, how fresh the lettuce, tomatos, onions, etc are. But in the end they always seem to put crap cheese on it. It almost seems to me like taking the Mona Lisa and drawing a penis on it. Is it a culture thing, a cheese steak thing or stupid thing.


On a "real" (a.k.a. Philly) cheese steak, the meat is frozen chipped beef and there are no lettuce or tomatoes or any other raw vegetables. The cheese might be cheez wiz but most of the locals order provolone. And the bread is Amoroso rolls. Non-negotiable. I'm not saying any of the ingredients are anything to write home about individually, but together they make a delicious, artery-clogging symphony.

Your cheese steak description sounds like stuff I've gotten in Pittsburgh. Heathens.
 
2014-01-07 07:10:32 PM

the_vicious_fez: groppet: What always gets me is on food shows they will have a cheese steak place on and the ywill go on about how great the meat is, how fresh the lettuce, tomatos, onions, etc are. But in the end they always seem to put crap cheese on it. It almost seems to me like taking the Mona Lisa and drawing a penis on it. Is it a culture thing, a cheese steak thing or stupid thing.

On a "real" (a.k.a. Philly) cheese steak, the meat is frozen chipped beef and there are no lettuce or tomatoes or any other raw vegetables. The cheese might be cheez wiz but most of the locals order provolone. And the bread is Amoroso rolls. Non-negotiable. I'm not saying any of the ingredients are anything to write home about individually, but together they make a delicious, artery-clogging symphony.

Your cheese steak description sounds like stuff I've gotten in Pittsburgh. Heathens.


FWIW, it's more fun to troll Philadelphians over cheese steaks than someone from Chi/NY over pizza. I went to school with a couple guys from Philly, and it was always fun to order the cheese steak. There are many ways to eat steak on bread, although the originals are terrific.
 
2014-01-07 07:19:45 PM
It says "cheese food" right on the package. It's not cheese, it's what you feed to cheese.
 
2014-01-07 07:30:14 PM

stewbert: the_vicious_fez: groppet: What always gets me is on food shows they will have a cheese steak place on and the ywill go on about how great the meat is, how fresh the lettuce, tomatos, onions, etc are. But in the end they always seem to put crap cheese on it. It almost seems to me like taking the Mona Lisa and drawing a penis on it. Is it a culture thing, a cheese steak thing or stupid thing.

On a "real" (a.k.a. Philly) cheese steak, the meat is frozen chipped beef and there are no lettuce or tomatoes or any other raw vegetables. The cheese might be cheez wiz but most of the locals order provolone. And the bread is Amoroso rolls. Non-negotiable. I'm not saying any of the ingredients are anything to write home about individually, but together they make a delicious, artery-clogging symphony.

Your cheese steak description sounds like stuff I've gotten in Pittsburgh. Heathens.

FWIW, it's more fun to troll Philadelphians over cheese steaks than someone from Chi/NY over pizza. I went to school with a couple guys from Philly, and it was always fun to order the cheese steak. There are many ways to eat steak on bread, although the originals are terrific.


I remember talking to a guy from the UK who'd been to Philly exactly once, had one cheese steak from either Pat's or Gino's, then went to some suburb, ordered another, and said, "It's good... but the bread's not right."

For me, it has to do with the fact that the ingredients, on their own, really are at best unremarkable. But in one single very specific combination, it all works really well. For whatever reason, deviating from the formula yields a markedly different experience. And you can gussy it up with filet mignon and brioche and bleu cheese crumbles with pickled caramelized shallots if you want, and I'm sure it will be fantastic, but it won't be a cheese steak, knowwhatimsayin?
 
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