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(Uproxx)   Realizing he wasn't allowed to blow anything up, Michael Bay finds himself unable to wing it at CES, takes his ball and goes home   (uproxx.com) divider line 54
    More: Amusing, Michael Bay, Ces  
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3497 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 06 Jan 2014 at 7:09 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-06 07:12:09 PM  
fc05.deviantart.net
 
2014-01-06 07:14:51 PM  
He could have at least danced a jig.
 
2014-01-06 07:18:03 PM  
"Do you like this Samsung product, Michael?"
"I sure do! Boy howdy, let me tell you, this thing has it all, whatever that it is."
"It sure delivers, don't it?"
"And how! Now where's my money?"
 
2014-01-06 07:22:59 PM  
Pockets + cue cards = not looking like a complete idiot in front of a live audience & cameras.

/not exactly rocket science
//or explosion science
 
2014-01-06 07:27:14 PM  

MrSteve007: Pockets + cue cards = not looking like a complete idiot in front of a live audience & cameras.

/not exactly rocket science
//or explosion science


If a successful Hollywood movie director cannot answer a question like "What inspires you? How do you come up with these ideas?" without an autocue or cue cards then they are a moron.
 
2014-01-06 07:28:53 PM  
The tweet in the article about this by Brian Collins was awesome.
 
2014-01-06 07:29:32 PM  
I would have thought he  always wore a vest lined with explosive packs for just such an emergency. Maybe it misfired?
 
2014-01-06 07:31:17 PM  
So Michael Bay . .... imploded?

yeeeeeaaaaahhhh
 
2014-01-06 07:36:54 PM  
How about the poor guy up there who had to finish that presentation after the star attraction wandered off. He certainly earned his pay today.
 
2014-01-06 07:38:51 PM  

Flint Ironstag: MrSteve007: Pockets + cue cards = not looking like a complete idiot in front of a live audience & cameras.

/not exactly rocket science
//or explosion science

If a successful Hollywood movie director cannot answer a question like "What inspires you? How do you come up with these ideas?" without an autocue or cue cards then they are a moron.


I'm sure he was anxious to get off stage because he had a starlet or two to make wash his car...
 
2014-01-06 07:40:16 PM  
Flint Ironstag:

If a successful Hollywood movie director cannot answer a question like "What inspires you? How do you come up with these ideas?" without an autocue or cue cards then they are a moron.

i.i.cbsi.com
THIS!
 
2014-01-06 07:40:23 PM  
Hope samsung fines his ass for breach of contract, just for lulz.
 
2014-01-06 07:43:53 PM  

Dinobot: Hope samsung fines his ass for breach of contract, just for lulz.


this is getting them about 10x more attention than it otherwise would have. so i doubt it.
 
2014-01-06 07:54:14 PM  

Flint Ironstag: MrSteve007: Pockets + cue cards = not looking like a complete idiot in front of a live audience & cameras.

/not exactly rocket science
//or explosion science

If a successful Hollywood movie director cannot answer a question like "What inspires you? How do you come up with these ideas?" without an autocue or cue cards then they are a moron.


Never seen a Bay movie huh... I envy you
 
2014-01-06 07:56:49 PM  
I was at CES last year when the head dude from Sony was on stage giving their big presentation, and their new 4K monitor on stage that he was introducing suddenly went to blue screen of death. He managed to give a look off stage that could have killed a man while simultaneously maintaining his warm composure for the audience, which I guess is a skill that CEOs need to have.

It's a huge convention hall with cables running everywhere, and shiat always gets effed up. They're all kind of winging it to some extent. Hard to believe someone would show up so unprepared that they had no backup if the prompter went down.

/csb
 
2014-01-06 08:01:25 PM  
I'm shower_in_my_socks and I liked the Bad Boys movies.

There, I said it.
 
2014-01-06 08:05:23 PM  
His attempt at a speech seemed to be about how awesome and imaginative and special and visionary he is, yet he can't "wing it" when technology fails to cue him, huh?
 
2014-01-06 08:06:23 PM  
Can't speak without a teleprompter? He should run for President!

/Ducks
 
2014-01-06 08:07:49 PM  

Uncle Pooky: Dinobot: Hope samsung fines his ass for breach of contract, just for lulz.

this is getting them about 10x more attention than it otherwise would have. so i doubt it.



Yeah, but will anyone remember anything Samsung was trying to talk about at the press conference. All I know is that it was something about a big 4k TV, but nothing else.
 
2014-01-06 08:22:01 PM  

Mad_Radhu: Uncle Pooky: Dinobot: Hope samsung fines his ass for breach of contract, just for lulz.

this is getting them about 10x more attention than it otherwise would have. so i doubt it.


Yeah, but will anyone remember anything Samsung was trying to talk about at the press conference. All I know is that it was something about a big 4k TV, but nothing else.


It's also apparently curvy and plays Transformers movies.
 
2014-01-06 08:26:43 PM  
You know, if they ever do get around to making a film of "The Stand", I think we just found the perfect Trashy...
/Read the book in 3 days. It was pretty good.
 
2014-01-06 08:52:31 PM  
You know who else can't speak w/o a teleprompter?
 
2014-01-06 09:04:17 PM  
maybe now he can appreciate those whiney prima donna actors who can remember their lines and don't just walk off set when shiat doesn't go as planned.
 
2014-01-06 09:07:32 PM  
Bay has been working without scripts for years though!
 
2014-01-06 09:17:31 PM  

OnlyM3: You know who else can't speak w/o a teleprompter?


Reagan?
W Bush?
Clinton?
H.W. Bush?
 
2014-01-06 09:33:01 PM  
proving he doesn't have the balls his stupid robot has
 
2014-01-06 09:49:49 PM  
James Cameron already has three movies in the works about it.
 
2014-01-06 10:11:41 PM  
Michael Bay Blue-screened
 
2014-01-06 11:12:03 PM  
Never mind, we'll fix it in post.
 
2014-01-07 12:35:05 AM  

Flint Ironstag: If a successful Hollywood movie director cannot answer a question like "What inspires you? How do you come up with these ideas?" without an autocue or cue cards then they are a moron.


Well, that's just the problem, see. Michael Bay has never really been inspired nor has he ever come up with any ideas.
 
2014-01-07 01:23:26 AM  
He could always make a movie about Warhammer 40k. Huge explosions, blind patriotism, and giant armor, he could do well. Hell, I've been prepared some photoshop pics for inspiration (with actors form Game of Thrones, but meh):

i5.photobucket.com

i5.photobucket.com

i5.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-07 01:30:09 AM  

OnlyM3: You know who else can't speak w/o a teleprompter?


Anne Frank?
 
2014-01-07 01:35:33 AM  

OnlyM3: You know who else can't speak w/o a teleprompter?

He's no decider, that's for sure.
 
2014-01-07 01:36:52 AM  

OnlyM3: You know who else can't speak w/o a teleprompter?


www.chud.com
 
2014-01-07 02:01:15 AM  

LonMead: [fc05.deviantart.net image 750x574]


are you saying he bombed?
 
2014-01-07 02:16:20 AM  
Brain tumor?
 
2014-01-07 04:18:01 AM  

stonelotus: LonMead: [fc05.deviantart.net image 750x574]

are you saying he bombed?


Maybe you should check out this poster (NSFW lang.)
 
2014-01-07 06:38:59 AM  

CygnusDarius: He could always make a movie about Warhammer 40k. Huge explosions, blind patriotism, and giant armor, he could do well. Hell, I've been prepared some photoshop pics for inspiration (with actors form Game of Thrones, but meh):

[i5.photobucket.com image 800x607]

[i5.photobucket.com image 800x404]

[i5.photobucket.com image 400x518]



My friends and I watched one of those 40k movies back in May, after HOURS of playing SpaceHulk (and a round of Ogre minis).  You'd think we'd be the target audience, right?  UGH so terrible!


/Love those 'shops you posted!
 
2014-01-07 07:32:08 AM  
This just goes to show the substance behind one of the most successful men in Hollywood.

I HATE Michael Bay.  Not as a person, and no, not as a wealthy person.  I hate that I live in a society that allows him to be successful.  I get that he's a businessman and I'm OK with that.  He could have just as much money as he does now and I'd have no issue if he was selling something like concrete or insurance.  I hate the business model.  He makes money basically off the thought, "Humans are morons."  I hate that he's right.

What he sells isn't entertainment per se; it's commoditized entertainment.  Hey, humans have to eat whether they like it or not, and there are a lot of us, so there are places in the world for commoditized food like McDonald's even if the stuff is horrible quality and tastes like ass.  There's a reason to have commoditized lodging, commoditized transportation.  The business of making something a commodity has constructive purposes in a society of needs.  But entertainment represents an elective use of income; there's no need to commoditize production (as opposed to distribution) and such a venture should result in failure.  That this country spends so much of its wealth on his McMovies is a depressing failure to inspire.

I felt schadenfreude at first given the MC's scripted attempts at flattering the man, but I quickly realized I was laughing at us.  All this really does is show how vapid and soulless one of the most successful people in entertainment is.  We pay money to be amused and entertained by a guy who's as interesting as a canned insurance policy.
 
2014-01-07 08:02:20 AM  
Acting is hard.
I'll be a director.
 
2014-01-07 10:00:20 AM  
To me, that looked like someone experiencing a panic attack.  Imagine a completely inappropriate "fight or flight" response hitting you out of the blue.  You know what triggered it, but have no idea why it's so incredibly intense.  Your only thought is "This is wrong.  I shouldn't be feeling these sensations.  I better GET OUT of this situation."  You don't worry about propriety, legality, your reputation, your job, future earning potential, or whatever.  You just do what you need to do to get relief.  It's not pleasant.

I'm just speculating here, obviously.  Someone with an advanced WebMD could probably tell you more.
 
2014-01-07 10:16:13 AM  
Felgraf
2014-01-06 09:17:31 PM


OnlyM3: You know who else can't speak w/o a teleprompter?

Reagan?
W Bush?
Clinton?
H.W. Bush?

"Used on occasion" and "never without" are two very different things.
 
2014-01-07 10:19:48 AM  
Bay was discussing the new curved UHD TVs

Can someone explain to me the appeal of one of the new curved TV panels?  Seems like off-axis viewing would be much worse than for a flat panel.
 
2014-01-07 10:27:45 AM  

dragonchild: What he sells isn't entertainment per se; it's commoditized entertainment. Hey, humans have to eat whether they like it or not, and there are a lot of us, so there are places in the world for commoditized food like McDonald's even if the stuff is horrible quality and tastes like ass. There's a reason to have commoditized lodging, commoditized transportation. The business of making something a commodity has constructive purposes in a society of needs. But entertainment represents an elective use of income; there's no need to commoditize production (as opposed to distribution) and such a venture should result in failure. That this country spends so much of its wealth on his McMovies is a depressing failure to inspire.


This is an interesting take on it. Ive only seen 2 Bay movies - one was OK, the other terrible. Both are more than a decade old. It's not like I avoid his movies because they're by him, they just never look appealing at all - half of them are just remakes of famous old horror flicks. I mean seriously? The Amityville Horror, Friday the 13th,  Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hitcher, Nightmare on Elm Street - is there a single one of those that wasn't a complete pile of shiat compared to the original?

The rest of his movies come across in trailers as loud, frenetic, full of crashing, smashing, and lots of explosions, and pretty much NOTHING ELSE. This is inevitably confirmed by reviews, at which point the movie in question gets filed in my mental "Don't waste your time" list
 
2014-01-07 10:43:12 AM  

Ctrl-Alt-Del: Ive only seen 2 Bay movies - one was OK, the other terrible. Both are more than a decade old.


Interesting; the only Bay movies I've watched are The Rock and Armageddon.  The first entertained me because I was young & dumb and Sean Connery turned his two-dimensional character into something fun to watch.  Armageddon had some fun due to the absurdity but it all went downhill once it started taking itself seriously.  Both movies eventually found ways to piss me off even though by all rights they should be too dumb to matter.  They're like those crappy ballpark hot dogs you buy on a craving; the first bite satisfies the craving, then you're screwed because you realize you paid $8 for mashed-up trimmings.
 
2014-01-07 11:08:40 AM  

dragonchild: Ctrl-Alt-Del: Ive only seen 2 Bay movies - one was OK, the other terrible. Both are more than a decade old.

Interesting; the only Bay movies I've watched are The Rock and Armageddon.  The first entertained me because I was young & dumb and Sean Connery turned his two-dimensional character into something fun to watch.  Armageddon had some fun due to the absurdity but it all went downhill once it started taking itself seriously.  Both movies eventually found ways to piss me off even though by all rights they should be too dumb to matter.


Ha. Those are the exact movies I was talking about. Armageddon started off ok, but rapidly fell straight into the formulaic Failhole
 
2014-01-07 11:41:02 AM  
Bay is a savant. He makes technically perfect movies with trashy scripts.
 
2014-01-07 12:48:08 PM  

Dinobot: Hope samsung fines his ass for breach of contract, just for lulz.


They'll make him go work for Apple.
 
2014-01-07 12:51:37 PM  

Flint Ironstag: If a successful Hollywood movie director cannot answer a question like "What inspires you? How do you come up with these ideas?" without an autocue or cue cards then they are a moron.


Well, he couldn't tell them the truth. The truth being, "someone writes a script for me and then I go in and add a whole shiat-ton more explosions."
 
2014-01-07 12:52:16 PM  

Ctrl-Alt-Del: dragonchild: Ctrl-Alt-Del: Ive only seen 2 Bay movies - one was OK, the other terrible. Both are more than a decade old.

Interesting; the only Bay movies I've watched are The Rock and Armageddon.  The first entertained me because I was young & dumb and Sean Connery turned his two-dimensional character into something fun to watch.  Armageddon had some fun due to the absurdity but it all went downhill once it started taking itself seriously.  Both movies eventually found ways to piss me off even though by all rights they should be too dumb to matter.

Ha. Those are the exact movies I was talking about. Armageddon started off ok, but rapidly fell straight into the formulaic Failhole


I cannot stand Bruce Willis and his "holier than thou roughneck" attitude throughout the first part of the movie. But there was one scene where Billy Bob's character called him out on it, where I thought finally he'd shut the hell up with it, and pretty much for the rest of the movie he sort of does.

But man, what a stupid bad film. I don't know why I enjoy it. It gets all of the science wrong. I mean, all of it.
 
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