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(Chicago Trib)   Chicago man seeks shelter from cold for wife and himself, "I can't risk waking up with my wife frozen next to me." That's how most men fall asleep, dude   (chicagotribune.com) divider line 47
    More: Scary, Chicago, emergency shelter, wife frozen, weather-related cancellation, Illinois Department of Transportation, Chicago area, Chicago Teachers Union, City Colleges  
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7897 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jan 2014 at 5:59 PM (49 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-06 04:30:47 PM  
Normally it's just the shoulder that is cold...
 
2014-01-06 04:44:22 PM  
+1 subby.
Bravo.
 
2014-01-06 05:28:02 PM  
cool headline, subby.
+1
 
2014-01-06 06:04:11 PM  
I'm fairly certain you're going to hell, subby.

/see you there!
 
2014-01-06 06:06:22 PM  
You never take advice
Someday you'll pay the price
I know

/Cold weather is miserable even when you don't have to sleep in it. :(
 
2014-01-06 06:09:56 PM  
thinkprogress.org

There are four homeless men in this picture taken outside the FTC in Washington, DC. See if you can pick them out.
 
2014-01-06 06:17:17 PM  
burlesquebohemian.files.wordpress.com

farm3.staticflickr.com

img.rt.com

blog.timesunion.com

/I'm glad I bought that 19" monitor for $54 on Black Friday
 
2014-01-06 06:19:50 PM  
Moved from Chicago last year. Still own a condo I'm renting there. Talked to the renters yesterday to remind them to keep the kitchen sink running so the pipes won't freeze.

Friend of mine posted a picture from this morning where he did the trick where he goes outside, pours boiling water into a bucket, throws it in the air and it turns into frozen "dust".

Meanwhile, I'm in sunny So Cal and debating taking the kids to the park when they get up from their naps.
 
2014-01-06 06:25:53 PM  
Bravo, subby. Bravo!
 
2014-01-06 06:26:24 PM  

marcre3363: Moved from Chicago last year. Still own a condo I'm renting there. Talked to the renters yesterday to remind them to keep the kitchen sink running so the pipes won't freeze.

Friend of mine posted a picture from this morning where he did the trick where he goes outside, pours boiling water into a bucket, throws it in the air and it turns into frozen "dust".

Meanwhile, I'm in sunny So Cal and debating taking the kids to the park when they get up from their naps.


Big deal.  Given the general state of California's economy, you'll be jobless and back in the Chi by this summer.
 
2014-01-06 06:28:31 PM  

marcre3363: Moved from Chicago last year. Still own a condo I'm renting there. Talked to the renters yesterday to remind them to keep the kitchen sink running so the pipes won't freeze.

Friend of mine posted a picture from this morning where he did the trick where he goes outside, pours boiling water into a bucket, throws it in the air and it turns into frozen "dust".

Meanwhile, I'm in sunny So Cal and debating taking the kids to the park when they get up from their naps.


every mother farker on my facebook timeline has done that water trick or the bubbles.

/it is cold as fark here
 
2014-01-06 06:32:27 PM  

p the boiler: marcre3363: Moved from Chicago last year. Still own a condo I'm renting there. Talked to the renters yesterday to remind them to keep the kitchen sink running so the pipes won't freeze.

Friend of mine posted a picture from this morning where he did the trick where he goes outside, pours boiling water into a bucket, throws it in the air and it turns into frozen "dust".

Meanwhile, I'm in sunny So Cal and debating taking the kids to the park when they get up from their naps.

every mother farker on my facebook timeline has done that water trick or the bubbles.

/it is cold as fark here



If you throw a bucket of ice-cold water, do you get a frozen waterfall?
 
2014-01-06 06:32:28 PM  
I bow to subby. Mad props, and I'm blissfully married, most of the time...
 
2014-01-06 06:34:28 PM  
Just moved to Chicago from North Carolina.  What the fark is this shiat?  What tiny bit of moisture exists in my apartment, after having these awful clanky LOUD drying radiators on, is frozen to the windows!  I have frosted glass!  i didn't even THINK about stepping outside today.  Maybe tomorrow, just to experience this stupidly cold city.  Pretty sure my car won't start.  There's salt stains all over my jeans and my floors.  AND I got a parking ticket the other day because I didn't move my car to the proper side of the street in a snow emergency?  How was I supposed to know it was a snow emergency?!  UUUUGGGGGHHHHHH

/okay seriously, I'm happy to be here and it's a good move, but JESUS way to roll out the welcome mat, upper midwest.
 
2014-01-06 06:39:30 PM  
Is she willing to sacrifice their love.
 
2014-01-06 06:41:21 PM  

pivazena: Just moved to Chicago from North Carolina.  What the fark is this shiat?  What tiny bit of moisture exists in my apartment, after having these awful clanky LOUD drying radiators on, is frozen to the windows!  I have frosted glass!  i didn't even THINK about stepping outside today.  Maybe tomorrow, just to experience this stupidly cold city.  Pretty sure my car won't start.  There's salt stains all over my jeans and my floors.  AND I got a parking ticket the other day because I didn't move my car to the proper side of the street in a snow emergency?  How was I supposed to know it was a snow emergency?!  UUUUGGGGGHHHHHH

/okay seriously, I'm happy to be here and it's a good move, but JESUS way to roll out the welcome mat, upper midwest.


I moved to upstate New York from downstate Illinois, which is roughly Virginia/North Carolina latitude. Last week, my neighbor's window cracked from the extreme cold.

We have chosen poorly.
 
2014-01-06 06:41:48 PM  

pivazena: Just moved to Chicago from North Carolina.  What the fark is this shiat?  What tiny bit of moisture exists in my apartment, after having these awful clanky LOUD drying radiators on, is frozen to the windows!  I have frosted glass!  i didn't even THINK about stepping outside today.  Maybe tomorrow, just to experience this stupidly cold city.  Pretty sure my car won't start.  There's salt stains all over my jeans and my floors.  AND I got a parking ticket the other day because I didn't move my car to the proper side of the street in a snow emergency?  How was I supposed to know it was a snow emergency?!  UUUUGGGGGHHHHHH

/okay seriously, I'm happy to be here and it's a good move, but JESUS way to roll out the welcome mat, upper midwest.


Chicago thanks you for your donation to the  streets and sanitation department. Also, get boots.
 
2014-01-06 06:45:05 PM  
I just LOVE all these recent links that auto direct me to the App Store instead of letting me read the stupid news story.

(Since you're stupid: No...No, I don't)
 
2014-01-06 06:45:09 PM  

itsnattatumah: marcre3363: Moved from Chicago last year. Still own a condo I'm renting there. Talked to the renters yesterday to remind them to keep the kitchen sink running so the pipes won't freeze.

Friend of mine posted a picture from this morning where he did the trick where he goes outside, pours boiling water into a bucket, throws it in the air and it turns into frozen "dust".

Meanwhile, I'm in sunny So Cal and debating taking the kids to the park when they get up from their naps.

Big deal.  Given the general state of California's economy, you'll be jobless and back in the Chi by this summer.


I work for a company based in Connecticut with offices in Canada, UK, Middle East and China.

I'm good, but thanks for your concern.
 
2014-01-06 06:46:57 PM  

p the boiler: pivazena: Just moved to Chicago from North Carolina.  What the fark is this shiat?  What tiny bit of moisture exists in my apartment, after having these awful clanky LOUD drying radiators on, is frozen to the windows!  I have frosted glass!  i didn't even THINK about stepping outside today.  Maybe tomorrow, just to experience this stupidly cold city.  Pretty sure my car won't start.  There's salt stains all over my jeans and my floors.  AND I got a parking ticket the other day because I didn't move my car to the proper side of the street in a snow emergency?  How was I supposed to know it was a snow emergency?!  UUUUGGGGGHHHHHH

/okay seriously, I'm happy to be here and it's a good move, but JESUS way to roll out the welcome mat, upper midwest.

Chicago thanks you for your donation to the  streets and sanitation department. Also, get boots.


On it.  My jeans are too long is the problem.  And now I get text alerts when there's a snow emergency.  Still pissed ;-)
 
2014-01-06 07:05:17 PM  

KawaiiNot: I just LOVE all these recent links that auto direct me to the App Store instead of letting me read the stupid news story.

(Since you're stupid: No...No, I don't)


I want the person who created that bit of code to be punched in the kidneys repeatedly.
 
2014-01-06 07:07:22 PM  

pivazena: p the boiler: pivazena: Just moved to Chicago from North Carolina.  What the fark is this shiat?  What tiny bit of moisture exists in my apartment, after having these awful clanky LOUD drying radiators on, is frozen to the windows!  I have frosted glass!  i didn't even THINK about stepping outside today.  Maybe tomorrow, just to experience this stupidly cold city.  Pretty sure my car won't start.  There's salt stains all over my jeans and my floors.  AND I got a parking ticket the other day because I didn't move my car to the proper side of the street in a snow emergency?  How was I supposed to know it was a snow emergency?!  UUUUGGGGGHHHHHH

/okay seriously, I'm happy to be here and it's a good move, but JESUS way to roll out the welcome mat, upper midwest.

Chicago thanks you for your donation to the  streets and sanitation department. Also, get boots.

On it.  My jeans are too long is the problem.  And now I get text alerts when there's a snow emergency.  Still pissed ;-)


Also, you should ditch the car - it makes life so much easier in the city. Unless you have a dying urge to go to Schaumburg.
 
2014-01-06 07:11:40 PM  

p the boiler: pivazena: p the boiler: pivazena: Just moved to Chicago from North Carolina.  What the fark is this shiat?  What tiny bit of moisture exists in my apartment, after having these awful clanky LOUD drying radiators on, is frozen to the windows!  I have frosted glass!  i didn't even THINK about stepping outside today.  Maybe tomorrow, just to experience this stupidly cold city.  Pretty sure my car won't start.  There's salt stains all over my jeans and my floors.  AND I got a parking ticket the other day because I didn't move my car to the proper side of the street in a snow emergency?  How was I supposed to know it was a snow emergency?!  UUUUGGGGGHHHHHH

/okay seriously, I'm happy to be here and it's a good move, but JESUS way to roll out the welcome mat, upper midwest.

Chicago thanks you for your donation to the  streets and sanitation department. Also, get boots.

On it.  My jeans are too long is the problem.  And now I get text alerts when there's a snow emergency.  Still pissed ;-)

Also, you should ditch the car - it makes life so much easier in the city. Unless you have a dying urge to go to Schaumburg.


I lied, I'm in Evanston not Chicago.  Car is still a little important
 
2014-01-06 07:13:23 PM  

pivazena: Just moved to Chicago from North Carolina.  What the fark is this shiat?  What tiny bit of moisture exists in my apartment, after having these awful clanky LOUD drying radiators on, is frozen to the windows!  I have frosted glass!  i didn't even THINK about stepping outside today.  Maybe tomorrow, just to experience this stupidly cold city.  Pretty sure my car won't start.  There's salt stains all over my jeans and my floors.  AND I got a parking ticket the other day because I didn't move my car to the proper side of the street in a snow emergency?  How was I supposed to know it was a snow emergency?!  UUUUGGGGGHHHHHH

/okay seriously, I'm happy to be here and it's a good move, but JESUS way to roll out the welcome mat, upper midwest.


Chicago is a great place, really, just not so far this winter.  During some winters here, it is tempting to feel like the city and and nature are together involved in a massive and complex conspiracy to destroy whatever enjoyment you get out of life.  You can see this in the eyes of the commuters who huddle like chickens under the heat lamps on elevated platforms waiting for the delayed train.  Summer typically makes up for it and during the halcyon days of a summer festival, you forget about winter, and by the time you remember, it is too late, and you can't sublet your apartment because nobody wants it.  So the cycle repeats itself until you retire to Arizona.
 
2014-01-06 07:13:37 PM  

pivazena: p the boiler: pivazena: p the boiler: pivazena: Just moved to Chicago from North Carolina.  What the fark is this shiat?  What tiny bit of moisture exists in my apartment, after having these awful clanky LOUD drying radiators on, is frozen to the windows!  I have frosted glass!  i didn't even THINK about stepping outside today.  Maybe tomorrow, just to experience this stupidly cold city.  Pretty sure my car won't start.  There's salt stains all over my jeans and my floors.  AND I got a parking ticket the other day because I didn't move my car to the proper side of the street in a snow emergency?  How was I supposed to know it was a snow emergency?!  UUUUGGGGGHHHHHH

/okay seriously, I'm happy to be here and it's a good move, but JESUS way to roll out the welcome mat, upper midwest.

Chicago thanks you for your donation to the  streets and sanitation department. Also, get boots.

On it.  My jeans are too long is the problem.  And now I get text alerts when there's a snow emergency.  Still pissed ;-)

Also, you should ditch the car - it makes life so much easier in the city. Unless you have a dying urge to go to Schaumburg.

I lied, I'm in Evanston not Chicago.  Car is still a little important


I work in Evanston and get there via the line that is purple - this line also comes south to the city :)
 
2014-01-06 07:14:36 PM  

TheShavingofOccam123: [burlesquebohemian.files.wordpress.com image 620x400]

[farm3.staticflickr.com image 500x375]

[img.rt.com image 690x388]

[blog.timesunion.com image 370x249]

/I'm glad I bought that 19" monitor for $54 on Black Friday


Are there no poorhouses?
 
2014-01-06 07:15:08 PM  
We could have an impromptu Fark party this  weekend in Chicago with an I Survived Chiberia theme - or just have drinks
 
2014-01-06 07:16:34 PM  

Lord Jubjub: TheShavingofOccam123: [burlesquebohemian.files.wordpress.com image 620x400]

[farm3.staticflickr.com image 500x375]

[img.rt.com image 690x388]

[blog.timesunion.com image 370x249]

/I'm glad I bought that 19" monitor for $54 on Black Friday

Are there no poorhouses?


Chicago has been working to push them as far away from the city as possible-  they still have them, but they, like the projects, are getting pushed to the south and west suburbs
 
2014-01-06 07:21:33 PM  

pivazena: Just moved to Chicago from North Carolina.  What the fark is this shiat?  What tiny bit of moisture exists in my apartment, after having these awful clanky LOUD drying radiators on, is frozen to the windows!  I have frosted glass!  i didn't even THINK about stepping outside today.  Maybe tomorrow, just to experience this stupidly cold city.  Pretty sure my car won't start.  There's salt stains all over my jeans and my floors.  AND I got a parking ticket the other day because I didn't move my car to the proper side of the street in a snow emergency?  How was I supposed to know it was a snow emergency?!  UUUUGGGGGHHHHHH

/okay seriously, I'm happy to be here and it's a good move, but JESUS way to roll out the welcome mat, upper midwest.


You think it's bad now? Wait until you try what passes for barbecue around here. Oh brother are you in for an unwelcome surprise.
 
2014-01-06 07:31:17 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-01-06 07:47:45 PM  

Ikam: pivazena: Just moved to Chicago from North Carolina.  What the fark is this shiat?  What tiny bit of moisture exists in my apartment, after having these awful clanky LOUD drying radiators on, is frozen to the windows!  I have frosted glass!  i didn't even THINK about stepping outside today.  Maybe tomorrow, just to experience this stupidly cold city.  Pretty sure my car won't start.  There's salt stains all over my jeans and my floors.  AND I got a parking ticket the other day because I didn't move my car to the proper side of the street in a snow emergency?  How was I supposed to know it was a snow emergency?!  UUUUGGGGGHHHHHH

/okay seriously, I'm happy to be here and it's a good move, but JESUS way to roll out the welcome mat, upper midwest.

Chicago is a great place, really, just not so far this winter.  During some winters here, it is tempting to feel like the city and and nature are together involved in a massive and complex conspiracy to destroy whatever enjoyment you get out of life.  You can see this in the eyes of the commuters who huddle like chickens under the heat lamps on elevated platforms waiting for the delayed train.  Summer typically makes up for it and during the halcyon days of a summer festival, you forget about winter, and by the time you remember, it is too late, and you can't sublet your apartment because nobody wants it.  So the cycle repeats itself until you retire to Arizona.


Chicago was founded by people from New York who said "We like the crime and the pollution, but it's just not COLD enough!"
 
2014-01-06 08:08:22 PM  

Goimir: Chicago was founded by people from New York who said "We like the crime and the pollution, but it's just not COLD enough!"


And cholesterol.
 
2014-01-06 08:13:06 PM  

doglover: Goimir: Chicago was founded by people from New York who said "We like the crime and the pollution, but it's just not COLD enough!"

And cholesterol.


And they brought with them a picture of a pizza, with no knowledge on how to make one. Thus Chicago Style Casserole was born.
 
2014-01-06 08:13:32 PM  

doglover: Goimir: Chicago was founded by people from New York who said "We like the crime and the pollution, but it's just not COLD enough!"

And cholesterol.


"You know what would be really great? If we made pizza ten times as thick. Try to eat it with your hands now, slob!"
 
2014-01-06 08:21:24 PM  
Was ok with the cold until farking metra cancelled All outbound trains at the last farking second.

fark metra
 
2014-01-06 08:32:25 PM  
Hotlanta....my ASSets.  It is 17 degrees and dropping.  Pffft.
 
2014-01-06 08:50:13 PM  
401ak47.com
 
2014-01-06 08:51:06 PM  
i184.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-06 08:56:43 PM  

pivazena: Just moved to Chicago from North Carolina.  What the fark is this shiat?  What tiny bit of moisture exists in my apartment, after having these awful clanky LOUD drying radiators on, is frozen to the windows!  I have frosted glass!  i didn't even THINK about stepping outside today.  Maybe tomorrow, just to experience this stupidly cold city.  Pretty sure my car won't start.  There's salt stains all over my jeans and my floors.  AND I got a parking ticket the other day because I didn't move my car to the proper side of the street in a snow emergency?  How was I supposed to know it was a snow emergency?!  UUUUGGGGGHHHHHH

/okay seriously, I'm happy to be here and it's a good move, but JESUS way to roll out the welcome mat, upper midwest.


Oh my, you sure are getting the worst of it. Plus the beloved Pine Yard burned down recently- best Chinese food outside of Chinatown.

Stay warm, read every line on every parking sign, pay your fine NOW or it will double. And double again. And again, then your car will disappear into the bowels of Lower Wacker.
 
2014-01-06 09:35:07 PM  

itsnattatumah: marcre3363: Moved from Chicago last year. Still own a condo I'm renting there. Talked to the renters yesterday to remind them to keep the kitchen sink running so the pipes won't freeze.

Friend of mine posted a picture from this morning where he did the trick where he goes outside, pours boiling water into a bucket, throws it in the air and it turns into frozen "dust".

Meanwhile, I'm in sunny So Cal and debating taking the kids to the park when they get up from their naps.

Big deal.  Given the general state of California's economy, you'll be jobless and back in the Chi by this summer.


You mean California, the state with a budget surplus, a lower unemployment rate than the national average and a thriving and growing tech sector? Or do you mean the California that exists only in your mind?
 
2014-01-06 09:53:50 PM  

jackiepaper: itsnattatumah: marcre3363: Moved from Chicago last year. Still own a condo I'm renting there. Talked to the renters yesterday to remind them to keep the kitchen sink running so the pipes won't freeze.

Friend of mine posted a picture from this morning where he did the trick where he goes outside, pours boiling water into a bucket, throws it in the air and it turns into frozen "dust".

Meanwhile, I'm in sunny So Cal and debating taking the kids to the park when they get up from their naps.

Big deal.  Given the general state of California's economy, you'll be jobless and back in the Chi by this summer.

You mean California, the state with a budget surplus, a lower unemployment rate than the national average and a thriving and growing tech sector? Or do you mean the California that exists only in your mind?


Hehe, you guys are so funny.
 
2014-01-06 10:30:41 PM  
jackiepaper:
You mean California, the state with a budget surplus, a lower unemployment rate than the national average and a thriving and growing tech sector? Or do you mean the California that exists only in your mind?

You do realize that the way they got that "surplus" was to ignore a really, really huge pile of debt from unfunded pensions, right? Well over $300 billion, and some counts put it at over $400 billion. They just sort of... shelved the issue. That's like figuring your personal budget for the year and not including the house payment.

The unemployment rate is not lower than the national average. The Bureau of Labor Statistics says they're at about 8.5%, the national average is (supposedly) around 7%.

The "thriving and growing tech sector" isn't really growing - nobody is starting big new companies in California right now, and a lot are leaving.
 
2014-01-06 11:15:31 PM  
Good headline subby.
+1

/I always admired the Mormons.  They have to be married and sober.  Strong men.
 
2014-01-07 12:08:25 AM  

marcre3363: Moved from Chicago last year. Still own a condo I'm renting there. Talked to the renters yesterday to remind them to keep the kitchen sink running so the pipes won't freeze.

Friend of mine posted a picture from this morning where he did the trick where he goes outside, pours boiling water into a bucket, throws it in the air and it turns into frozen "dust".

Meanwhile, I'm in sunny So Cal and debating taking the kids to the park when they get up from their naps.


I moved from Chicago to SoCal (specifically Mission Viejo) last year as well. I'm sure as hell not missing the cold.
 
2014-01-07 05:19:52 AM  

ytterbium: pivazena: Just moved to Chicago from North Carolina.  What the fark is this shiat?  What tiny bit of moisture exists in my apartment, after having these awful clanky LOUD drying radiators on, is frozen to the windows!  I have frosted glass!  i didn't even THINK about stepping outside today.  Maybe tomorrow, just to experience this stupidly cold city.  Pretty sure my car won't start.  There's salt stains all over my jeans and my floors.  AND I got a parking ticket the other day because I didn't move my car to the proper side of the street in a snow emergency?  How was I supposed to know it was a snow emergency?!  UUUUGGGGGHHHHHH

/okay seriously, I'm happy to be here and it's a good move, but JESUS way to roll out the welcome mat, upper midwest.

Oh my, you sure are getting the worst of it. Plus the beloved Pine Yard burned down recently- best Chinese food outside of Chinatown.

Stay warm, read every line on every parking sign, pay your fine NOW or it will double. And double again. And again, then your car will disappear into the bowels of Lower Wacker.


What disappearing into the bowels of Lower Wacker might look like

www.bluesbrotherscentral.com
 
2014-01-07 08:08:29 AM  
extremecraft.typepad.com

I thought homeless people smelled bad on the outside...
 
2014-01-07 09:58:54 AM  

TheShavingofOccam123: [burlesquebohemian.files.wordpress.com image 620x400]

[farm3.staticflickr.com image 500x375]

[img.rt.com image 690x388]

[blog.timesunion.com image 370x249]

/I'm glad I bought that 19" monitor for $54 on Black Friday



If you're compelled to donate to charity as long as someone is worse off than you...you're gonna have a bad time.
 
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