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(Guardian)   We're all in denial about our drinking habits. Well maybe you are, submitter is a drunk   (theguardian.com) divider line 126
    More: Obvious, denials, habits  
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5526 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jan 2014 at 5:52 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



126 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-06 04:27:34 PM  
I'm a drunk.
 
2014-01-06 04:38:03 PM  
Unlike those who go on drinking in denial, people who put down the booze are facing up to their demons and living life without anaesthetic.

1. Most of us drink because we like the taste, not because we feel compelled to.
2. Most of are capable of distinguishing between a relaxed buzz and blackout drunk, and regulating ourselves accordingly.
3. If you're going to take a month off drinking, for God's sake, pick a better month than January - the darkest, coldest, most depressing month of the year.
 
2014-01-06 04:41:34 PM  
I drink to make other people tolerable
 
2014-01-06 05:43:06 PM  
The other distinction we often fail to make is people who can not handle being awake without a buzz versus people who go to work then go home, make dinner, take care of family duties then maybe drink a 6-pack between 7-10pm every night.
 
2014-01-06 05:51:18 PM  
I'm not in denial about my drinking habits. I just deny it to other people, like bosses or cops.
 
IP
2014-01-06 05:53:27 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I drink to make other people tolerable

 
2014-01-06 05:53:42 PM  
I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.
 
2014-01-06 05:55:25 PM  
Oblig

rlv.zcache.com
 
2014-01-06 05:55:27 PM  
I'm a drunk who hasn't had a drink in six days. Planning on not drinking until I get my weight down, because I can't drink and diet. This may take six months.

/Still a drunk
 
2014-01-06 05:55:34 PM  

pounddawg: I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.


Yeah, we drunks go to parties.
 
2014-01-06 05:56:07 PM  
According to that commercial I can be cured and all I have to do is give them $40,000 spend 30 days doing yoga and listening to people tell me I'm the best exactly the way I am, I shouldn't change.  I'll stick to drinking.
 
2014-01-06 05:56:24 PM  

pounddawg: I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.


mayIFark: Oblig

[rlv.zcache.com image 512x512]


/Note to Self: always check the comments, not just the pictures before posting a picture
 
2014-01-06 05:57:18 PM  
We're drunks
 
2014-01-06 05:57:51 PM  
I toasted this story. I mean, I printed it out and put it in the toaster. Bad idea. Get me a drink.
 
2014-01-06 05:58:07 PM  
What was the Hitchins thing? Was he claiming that alcoholism is imaginary, or that recovery from alcoholism is imaginary?
 
2014-01-06 06:01:23 PM  
I drink when I don't have obligations. I was always up front about it when I was dating. Although I have dialed back the saturday morning drunk.
 
2014-01-06 06:03:58 PM  
31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-01-06 06:04:03 PM  
I'm suffering through my first hangover in about a year or so. not getting a kick.
 
2014-01-06 06:04:20 PM  
CSB time

Last time I had a checkup, it was a new doc. Fresh out of med school - 32 if she's a day.

She checked my vitals and said "Well, you're over 40 now, we need to do some blood work.  Your medical history - check check check - Family medical history - scribble scribble scribble.  Hey, it says here you manage a wine bar.  How much would you say you drink?"
"Oh, a half-bottle to a bottle a day."
"Really?!?!?"
"Yeah..." (I'm feeling a little defensive at this point)
"OK, I'm checking everything on your liver - check check check check check check check."

I go in to the lab two days later, have 4 tubes of blood pulled, and schedule a followup.  Docs sits down next to me with a file folder and says, "I have to be honest with you.  You're over 40, you drink a half-bottle of wine or more every day, and your liver function puts mine to shame. I have nothing to tell you except 'Keep Drinking'!"

I looked at the details - she was right.  One enzyme was supposed to be 200 ppm to 400 ppm.  I was at 301.

/CSB

tl;dr version - my liver is the strongest organ in my body
 
2014-01-06 06:05:39 PM  
I dont drink  (hate the taste of alcohol)
I live in Texas.
Have to keep it hush-hush and must live in constant fear of the rednecks(or cowboys, they call themselves) finding out and throwing me out of the state
 
2014-01-06 06:06:18 PM  
I drink, therefore I am (drunk)

/not yet, but working on it
//insomnia is a biatch
 
2014-01-06 06:08:27 PM  

FrancoFile: CSB time

Last time I had a checkup, it was a new doc. Fresh out of med school - 32 if she's a day.

She checked my vitals and said "Well, you're over 40 now, we need to do some blood work.  Your medical history - check check check - Family medical history - scribble scribble scribble.  Hey, it says here you manage a wine bar.  How much would you say you drink?"
"Oh, a half-bottle to a bottle a day."
"Really?!?!?"
"Yeah..." (I'm feeling a little defensive at this point)
"OK, I'm checking everything on your liver - check check check check check check check."

I go in to the lab two days later, have 4 tubes of blood pulled, and schedule a followup.  Docs sits down next to me with a file folder and says, "I have to be honest with you.  You're over 40, you drink a half-bottle of wine or more every day, and your liver function puts mine to shame. I have nothing to tell you except 'Keep Drinking'!"

I looked at the details - she was right.  One enzyme was supposed to be 200 ppm to 400 ppm.  I was at 301.

/CSB

tl;dr version - my liver is the strongest organ in my body


Yeah, I was drinking about twice that much until recently, I'm over 50, and my liver function is 100 percent normal. It sneaks up on you, though, is my understanding, plus your cancer risk goes way up. My biggest health problem related to drinking is obesity, which drives up my chances of diabetes. If I lose 30 pounds, though, I'm going to try to start drinking again, more moderately.
 
2014-01-06 06:08:31 PM  
I drink maybe once every two months. Don't like the taste of alcohol, so that pretty much seals it for me.
 
2014-01-06 06:09:23 PM  
once they have taken that first drink, they know they can't stop. . . . We still shrink from the idea that some human beings cannot drink safely, and that this is an illness.

southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com
YOU RACK DICIPRINE
 
2014-01-06 06:11:39 PM  

Confabulat: I'm not in denial about my drinking habits. I just deny it to other people, like bosses or cops.

 
2014-01-06 06:15:22 PM  
FTFA: "[O]nce they have taken that first drink, they know they can't stop."

This is such bullshiat. Where does such propaganda come from? I have never kept drinking till the last drop in the house was gone, nor have I spent every penny in my pockets in a bar. In fact most nights I cut myself off at a certain point, going by how I feel, so as to avoid a hangover, and there's no way anybody could call me an unusually disciplined drinker.

Do many of you Farkers actually drink so helplessly? Do you suck it down until it's all gone or until you're physically unable to have one more drink? Some of the most inveterate drunks I've known would stand up, walk to the bathroom, then put themselves to bed, leaving half a beer or or more sitting there. As opposed to, say, draining the glass, falling to the floor and wetting themselves.

My hunch tells me that if "being unable to stop a drinking session" is the definition of alcoholism then very few people in AA are true alcoholics.
 
2014-01-06 06:16:21 PM  

mbillips: I'm a drunk who hasn't had a drink in six days. Planning on not drinking until I get my weight down, because I can't drink and diet. This may take six months.


I'll be happy to drink your share. Send it right over!
 
2014-01-06 06:18:22 PM  
The last year I have really cut back on my drinking. Ive been alone a lot since the GF is out of town and I hate drinking alone. I hate the fact that I cant keep any alcohol in my house because my full on raging alkie roomate will drink anything she can get her hands on. I did get a bottle of rum last week and have kept it locked up in my strong box. It is why I hate going out with my roomate she cant just catch a nice buzz she has to drink til she turns into a coont.
 
2014-01-06 06:18:28 PM  

mbillips: I'm a drunk who hasn't had a drink in six days. Planning on not drinking until I get my weight down, because I can't drink and diet. This may take six months.

/Still a drunk


I'm in the same boat. When I drink, I get strange food cravings. Much like people smoke and drink I allow myself to indulge when imbibing. Cheesy foods and starches, especially.
 
2014-01-06 06:19:18 PM  
Melissa Downer.
 
2014-01-06 06:20:40 PM  
Alcoholic is one of those self diagnoses that has largely become meaningless these days.

Jim doesn't drink during the week, but he usually gets drunk on the weekends.  He's an alcoholic.  Jill only drinks a few times a year, but when she does, she doesn't know when to stop.  She's an alcoholic.  Billy likes to drink by himself sometimes, he's an alcoholic.  Susie hides the liquor bottles when her parents stop by for a visit, she's an alcoholic.
 
2014-01-06 06:21:21 PM  
MiL: Stoney, do you struggle with your drinking?
Me: No.
 
2014-01-06 06:25:04 PM  

FrancoFile: One enzyme was supposed to be 200 ppm to 400 ppm.  I was at 301.



I had that test with similar results a couple years ago (age 43) after twenty years of a pint of rum a day in the form of rum & diet coke.

It's my kidneys that concern me more these days though and I've cut the drinking to every other night at most.

Probably will quit entirely.  It's not that I felt bad every morning after drinking, it's just that I feel great those mornings after not drinking.  Plus, I don't smoke when I don't drink, so that's a bonus.
 
2014-01-06 06:26:30 PM  
I felt the same way as the lady in the article.  I would only drink if I knew I could get drunk.  Having a beer after work or at an office party with coworkers wasn't an option... until I had liver damage due to a broken rib puncturing it last spring.  For the first 3 months, I wasn't allowed to drink at all.  After that, I was allowed (and somewhat encouraged) to have 1 dark beer (or glass of wine, but ...bleeeech) a day.  I still went to the bars with my friends.  Drank a ton of water instead.  Everytime I felt I needed a drink, I'd have a water.  Tip the bartender a dollar and they were happy, too.

For the last month, I've been given a clean bill of health.  I've gone out drinking 3 times.  I've also gone out "not drinking" many more times, where I have 3 beers or less in a 4hour trip.  I no longer feel the need to have one after the other like I used to.  Your mileage may very, as we're all different, but breaking the cycle and realizing that it was the social aspect, not necessarily the drinking aspect, is what I really enjoyed.
 
2014-01-06 06:28:03 PM  
Sitting at Smith and Wollensky's right now putting down Manhattans. No problems here.
 
2014-01-06 06:28:07 PM  

jaylectricity: then maybe drink a 6-pack between 7-10pm every night.


I think that would burn through my yearly beer allotment in about a week....
 
2014-01-06 06:28:54 PM  
I don't drink.
 
2014-01-06 06:30:20 PM  

FrancoFile: CSB time

Last time I had a checkup, it was a new doc. Fresh out of med school - 32 if she's a day.

She checked my vitals and said "Well, you're over 40 now, we need to do some blood work.  Your medical history - check check check - Family medical history - scribble scribble scribble.  Hey, it says here you manage a wine bar.  How much would you say you drink?"
"Oh, a half-bottle to a bottle a day."
"Really?!?!?"
"Yeah..." (I'm feeling a little defensive at this point)
"OK, I'm checking everything on your liver - check check check check check check check."

I go in to the lab two days later, have 4 tubes of blood pulled, and schedule a followup.  Docs sits down next to me with a file folder and says, "I have to be honest with you.  You're over 40, you drink a half-bottle of wine or more every day, and your liver function puts mine to shame. I have nothing to tell you except 'Keep Drinking'!"

I looked at the details - she was right.  One enzyme was supposed to be 200 ppm to 400 ppm.  I was at 301.

/CSB

tl;dr version - my liver is the strongest organ in my body


Drinking is exercise for the liver :)

She probably measured your bilirubin levels.  Mine was normal as well, but my ALT and AST were both more than double the upper limit.
 
2014-01-06 06:30:42 PM  
hmm... am I a drunk?

*taps foot... thinks deeply*

yep... yes... I am a complete drunk. Now if you'll leave me and my gallon of Vodak to our business. I bid you farewell
 
2014-01-06 06:33:03 PM  
I like the red flag "do you have a drink in the morning to 'take the edge off?'" Never. So I don't have a problem. Also, this is relevant:

Do you have a drinking problem?
 
2014-01-06 06:34:14 PM  
I'm pretty sure I had the flu last week.  But for some time I was seriously worried it was withdrawal after stopping drinking on January 1 (trying to go a month without drinking, already failed).  The symptoms are remarkably similar and I couldn't remember the last day I'd not had at least 2/3 drinks.
 
2014-01-06 06:35:11 PM  

abmoraz: FrancoFile: CSB time

Last time I had a checkup, it was a new doc. Fresh out of med school - 32 if she's a day.

She checked my vitals and said "Well, you're over 40 now, we need to do some blood work.  Your medical history - check check check - Family medical history - scribble scribble scribble.  Hey, it says here you manage a wine bar.  How much would you say you drink?"
"Oh, a half-bottle to a bottle a day."
"Really?!?!?"
"Yeah..." (I'm feeling a little defensive at this point)
"OK, I'm checking everything on your liver - check check check check check check check."

I go in to the lab two days later, have 4 tubes of blood pulled, and schedule a followup.  Docs sits down next to me with a file folder and says, "I have to be honest with you.  You're over 40, you drink a half-bottle of wine or more every day, and your liver function puts mine to shame. I have nothing to tell you except 'Keep Drinking'!"

I looked at the details - she was right.  One enzyme was supposed to be 200 ppm to 400 ppm.  I was at 301.

/CSB

tl;dr version - my liver is the strongest organ in my body

Drinking is exercise for the liver :)

She probably measured your bilirubin levels.  Mine was normal as well, but my ALT and AST were both more than double the upper limit.


She measured *everything*.  17 line-items in the report.

Of course I also eat a largely Mediterranean diet.
 
2014-01-06 06:43:59 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I drink to make other people tolerable


Everybody go home...Maudlin ended the thread.

/My egotistical excuse as well fine Sir, or Ma'am
//I need new friends
///I'm drunk so often I don't care
 
2014-01-06 06:47:35 PM  

stevenvictx: I dont drink  (hate the taste of alcohol)
I live in Texas.
Have to keep it hush-hush and must live in constant fear of the rednecks(or cowboys, they call themselves) finding out and throwing me out of the state


This right here. I don't live in Texas, but when I refuse an offer of alcohol, the common response is "Why, what's wrong?". Nothings wrong dumbass, I just don't drink.  Usually followed up with an enlightened "ohhhhh, I get it, You're a recovering alcoholic!"

/No, no I'm not. You're a farking alcoholic though.
 
2014-01-06 06:47:47 PM  

jaylectricity: The other distinction we often fail to make is people who can not handle being awake without a buzz versus people who go to work then go home, make dinner, take care of family duties then maybe drink a 6-pack between 7-10pm every night.


I'd fall into that catetory, but not a nightly one. All my shiat for the day is done, and a happy, content buzz puts me in a creative mood for other things to think about.
 
2014-01-06 06:48:50 PM  
Im gonna drink and if you neoprohibitionists have a problem with that go fark yourself.
 
2014-01-06 06:49:31 PM  

bborchar: I drink maybe once every two months. Don't like the taste of alcohol, so that pretty much seals it for me.


Dont like the taste? Nobody likes the damn taste. Have you ever seen a person do a shot of tequila and say "my thats lovely, tastes like happy" I didnt think so.
 
2014-01-06 06:51:28 PM  

Kit Fister: I don't drink.


OK. What else then? Everyone has a vice. Come now, tell us.
 
2014-01-06 06:51:54 PM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: Unlike those who go on drinking in denial, people who put down the booze are facing up to their demons and living life without anaesthetic.

1. Most of us drink because we like the taste, not because we feel compelled to.
2. Most of are capable of distinguishing between a relaxed buzz and blackout drunk, and regulating ourselves accordingly.
3. If you're going to take a month off drinking, for God's sake, pick a better month than January - the darkest, coldest, most depressing month of the year.


1.  blech.  alcohol tastes terrible.
2.  Most Marines can't distinguish between buzz, blackout, or liver failure.  I was in from '81-'87
3.  Hangovers.  just could not keep having hangovers.
4.  stopped drinking before I got out of the Corp.
 
2014-01-06 06:52:30 PM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: Unlike those who go on drinking in denial, people who put down the booze are facing up to their demons and living life without anaesthetic.


That's a cool quote, does it go on to describe their rejection of coffee and asprin as well? Gotta face up to life without help, it's the only bootstrappy thing to do!
 
2014-01-06 06:52:41 PM  

teenage mutant ninja rapist: bborchar: I drink maybe once every two months. Don't like the taste of alcohol, so that pretty much seals it for me.

Dont like the taste? Nobody likes the damn taste. Have you ever seen a person do a shot of tequila and say "my thats lovely, tastes like happy" I didnt think so.


You obviously drunk bad tequila.
 
2014-01-06 06:53:42 PM  
*drink dammit.

/drunk
 
2014-01-06 06:58:55 PM  
I'm surprised nobody else has recommended Modern Drunkard yet, much of which reads like it could have been written by Farkers. This Editor's Rant is particularly relevant to this thread.

/I like to think of "high functioning alcoholic" as an ambition.
 
2014-01-06 07:00:24 PM  
I lasted about 8 sentences before getting tired of this C**t's MADD prohibition rant.
 
2014-01-06 07:00:37 PM  

The One True TheDavid: FTFA: "[O]nce they have taken that first drink, they know they can't stop."

This is such bullshiat. Where does such propaganda come from? I have never kept drinking till the last drop in the house was gone, nor have I spent every penny in my pockets in a bar. In fact most nights I cut myself off at a certain point, going by how I feel, so as to avoid a hangover, and there's no way anybody could call me an unusually disciplined drinker.

Do many of you Farkers actually drink so helplessly? Do you suck it down until it's all gone or until you're physically unable to have one more drink? Some of the most inveterate drunks I've known would stand up, walk to the bathroom, then put themselves to bed, leaving half a beer or or more sitting there. As opposed to, say, draining the glass, falling to the floor and wetting themselves.

My hunch tells me that if "being unable to stop a drinking session" is the definition of alcoholism then very few people in AA are true alcoholics.


I know people like that. There are two kinds of people in AA: "true" alcoholics who get blackout shiatfaced the first time they drink, and never drink any other way, and people who gradually become dependent on alcohol to the point where it starts to screw up their lives. I'm the latter; it's gotten very difficult for me to stop after one drink, and if I have four, I generally have eight. I'm not drinking at all at the moment, but I hold no apprehensions that I can drink like a normal person any more. I'm not gonna do AA, though; I have no trouble NOT drinking after the first couple days drying out, and my biggest "rock bottom" story would be along the lines of "I'm 50 pounds overweight." Plus, the whole "give in to your higher power" thing kinda creeps me out.
 
2014-01-06 07:02:03 PM  
Everyone needs something to believe in.  I believe I'll have another drink.
 
2014-01-06 07:02:54 PM  
Flat out had to quit, Dr. told me during a 6 hour ER visit that it was quit or die.  Been 7 years since I quit - lost 100 lbs and am in better shape than in a long time.

Was a serious drunk - quitting was the best thing to happen to me in long time, pity it took getting seriously ill to get the message.

Don't miss it, oddly.  At least not anymore - first few years I used to dream about drinking and wake up panicked that it was real.
 
2014-01-06 07:03:28 PM  

fanbladesaresharp: Kit Fister: I don't drink.


OK. What else then? Everyone has a vice. Come now, tell us.



He cares too much.
 
2014-01-06 07:06:29 PM  

The One True TheDavid: FTFA: "[O]nce they have taken that first drink, they know they can't stop."

This is such bullshiat. Where does such propaganda come from? I have never kept drinking till the last drop in the house was gone, nor have I spent every penny in my pockets in a bar. In fact most nights I cut myself off at a certain point, going by how I feel, so as to avoid a hangover, and there's no way anybody could call me an unusually disciplined drinker.

Do many of you Farkers actually drink so helplessly? Do you suck it down until it's all gone or until you're physically unable to have one more drink? Some of the most inveterate drunks I've known would stand up, walk to the bathroom, then put themselves to bed, leaving half a beer or or more sitting there. As opposed to, say, draining the glass, falling to the floor and wetting themselves.

My hunch tells me that if "being unable to stop a drinking session" is the definition of alcoholism then very few people in AA are true alcoholics.


^^ I've said it before, I'm a session drinker in *MOST* cases. It is rare for me to get seriously compromised with alcohol, but by pure medical consideration I am a medium to heavy drinker. At worst what happens is I'm distracted by something and/or really tired and stop pacing myself by accident, but it's rare.

I do hate wasting half a beer on occasion though. Craft stuff is expensive.
 
2014-01-06 07:07:41 PM  
Yesterday I ate a tube of Oreos to stop myself from going out in the cold to buy a six-pack an hour before bed.

/third day
 
2014-01-06 07:10:41 PM  

abmoraz: For the last month, I've been given a clean bill of health. I've gone out drinking 3 times. I've also gone out "not drinking" many more times, where I have 3 beers or less in a 4hour trip.


When I have gone out "not drinking" that's when I have gone to work.

Congrats on your return to good health in time for the New Year. We'll tak a right gude-willy waught,
for auld lang syne.
 
2014-01-06 07:13:10 PM  

Nogale: What was the Hitchins thing? Was he claiming that alcoholism is imaginary, or that recovery from alcoholism is imaginary?


Just for the record, that would be Hitchens the Lesser, AKA Peter.

Stephen Fry recently had this to say about the younger Hitchens:

. I could see Peter Hitchens in the doorway of the Waverly Inn, standing utterly alone  (as he does intellectually, morally and socially amongst his brother's friends) and, taking pity, I just came up to chat. He responded so rudely, so vilely and with such lack of human decency, that I couldn't but tweet at the extreme difference between two products of the same parents.

It made me lol.
 
2014-01-06 07:14:26 PM  

jerky on the veldt: Yesterday I ate a tube of Oreos to stop myself from going out in the cold to buy a six-pack an hour before bed.

/third day


That's what I have to do.
Hard to drink when I'm stuffed.
Sugared stuff seems to also curb beer cravings.
Gonna probably get fatter though.
 
2014-01-06 07:18:30 PM  
It was totally a self diagnosis thing with me.  You know inside if you're an alcoholic.  I knew. I started hating myself because I couldn't stop.  Hating yourself sucks.
I stopped drinking almost 5 years ago and everything is better, especially the way I look.

When I drank and smoked I would say:

If you don't smoke and drink, you may not live forever, but it will seem like it.

Now that I don't drink and smoke I say:

If you smoke and drink, you may not live forever, but you will look like you have.
 
2014-01-06 07:19:55 PM  

teenage mutant ninja rapist: bborchar: I drink maybe once every two months. Don't like the taste of alcohol, so that pretty much seals it for me.

Dont like the taste? Nobody likes the damn taste. Have you ever seen a person do a shot of tequila and say "my thats lovely, tastes like happy" I didnt think so.


That's so, so, so wrong.  There are wines that bring me to rapture. There are beers that make me sigh a deep sigh of contentment. There are scotches that have just enough fire to open my eyes and catch my breath, and then lull me to quiet contemplation when I exhale.

Ethanol is one of the best organic solvents we know of. It does a great job of capturing and conveying aroma and flavor compounds (esters, ketones, aldehydes). If you "don't like the taste of alcohol", you've had shiatty alcohol.
 
2014-01-06 07:27:11 PM  
I have a drink everyday. Usually a vodka & diet 7up at night.
 
2014-01-06 07:28:06 PM  
Last time I had a checkup, it was a new doc. Fresh out of med school - 32 if she's a day.

I had the same experience. She told me I had to stop fapping. I asked her why.

She said "Because I'm trying to examine you!"

/I'm here all week.
//Try the veal.
 
2014-01-06 07:33:08 PM  
I'm confused by 'Dry January.' Why would you give up alcohol during Carnival Season only to pick it up again during Lent? (This year excepting since it's a late Lent.) That's about the height of idiocy. It's like giving up getting present during December only to pick it up again in the middle of January.
 
2014-01-06 07:34:11 PM  
Never trust anyone who doesn't drink.

/you may laugh, but this is profound advice -- ignore it at your peril
 
2014-01-06 07:36:16 PM  

FrancoFile: CSB time

Last time I had a checkup, it was a new doc. Fresh out of med school - 32 if she's a day.

She checked my vitals and said "Well, you're over 40 now, we need to do some blood work.  Your medical history - check check check - Family medical history - scribble scribble scribble.  Hey, it says here you manage a wine bar.  How much would you say you drink?"
"Oh, a half-bottle to a bottle a day."
"Really?!?!?"
"Yeah..." (I'm feeling a little defensive at this point)
"OK, I'm checking everything on your liver - check check check check check check check."

I go in to the lab two days later, have 4 tubes of blood pulled, and schedule a followup.  Docs sits down next to me with a file folder and says, "I have to be honest with you.  You're over 40, you drink a half-bottle of wine or more every day, and your liver function puts mine to shame. I have nothing to tell you except 'Keep Drinking'!"

I looked at the details - she was right.  One enzyme was supposed to be 200 ppm to 400 ppm.  I was at 301.

/CSB

tl;dr version - my liver is the strongest organ in my body


Enough with the boring stuff.  Did she stick her finger up your asshole?
 
2014-01-06 07:42:50 PM  

teenage mutant ninja rapist: bborchar: I drink maybe once every two months. Don't like the taste of alcohol, so that pretty much seals it for me.

Dont like the taste? Nobody likes the damn taste. Have you ever seen a person do a shot of tequila and say "my thats lovely, tastes like happy" I didnt think so.


no, but I'm saying it after my shot tonight.

I usually say that tastes like forgetting.
 
2014-01-06 07:43:51 PM  

senoy: I'm confused by 'Dry January.' Why would you give up alcohol during Carnival Season only to pick it up again during Lent? (This year excepting since it's a late Lent.) That's about the height of idiocy. It's like giving up getting present during December only to pick it up again in the middle of January.


Probably has to do with New Years resolutions and turning over a new leaf and whatnot.  Maybe if I lived in a place where it was summer in January.
 
2014-01-06 07:44:28 PM  
And I'm an executive alcoholic. Means I can drink and function and not drink when the times call for it.
 
2014-01-06 07:46:08 PM  

teenage mutant ninja rapist: bborchar: I drink maybe once every two months. Don't like the taste of alcohol, so that pretty much seals it for me.

Dont like the taste? Nobody likes the damn taste. Have you ever seen a person do a shot of tequila and say "my thats lovely, tastes like happy" I didnt think so.


I like the taste of good whiskey and vodka. 100-proof Very Old Barton is good, but Bulleit 95% Rye is nectar. Sobieski vodka from Poland, "distilled from 100% Dankowski rye," ain't bad neither. And of course I drink 'em straight up.

If you have to mix it to choke it down switch brands or liquors. If you don't want to do that then quit: there's a goddamn bourbon shortage on, thanks to hipsters and their sissy cocktails, and I demand my fair share.

I have less experience with tequila and hence less expertise. But if what I know from whiskey carries over, the cheap and/or widely-advertised stuff is most likely swill.
 
2014-01-06 07:46:31 PM  
Alcohol is the only way to get through a Wisconsin winter when you hate winter as much as I.  I can sit and sip a good craft beer, or slam 6 or 7 pints of Point Special. All depends on the day, mood, and next day's obligations.  Hell, it's what we do here...
 
2014-01-06 07:49:45 PM  
Going for a "dry January" myself. I didn't even know it was a thing before TFA.

At this point, 6 days without beer is probably the longest I've gone (without having a cold or something) since junior year of high school without drinking.
 
2014-01-06 07:50:21 PM  
Very cold weather brings out the drinker in me. I farking hate cold weather, fark it all!
 
2014-01-06 07:54:03 PM  
www.drunkard.com
 
2014-01-06 07:57:41 PM  

senoy: I'm confused by 'Dry January.' Why would you give up alcohol during Carnival Season only to pick it up again during Lent? (This year excepting since it's a late Lent.) That's about the height of idiocy. It's like giving up getting present during December only to pick it up again in the middle of January.


Because you don't believe in that kinda Catholic nonsense, maybe? It might matter if you live in Brazil or New Orleans, but most places don't have a Carnival season.
 
2014-01-06 08:02:26 PM  

mbillips: The One True TheDavid: FTFA: "[O]nce they have taken that first drink, they know they can't stop."

This is such bullshiat. Where does such propaganda come from? I have never kept drinking till the last drop in the house was gone, nor have I spent every penny in my pockets in a bar. In fact most nights I cut myself off at a certain point, going by how I feel, so as to avoid a hangover, and there's no way anybody could call me an unusually disciplined drinker.

Do many of you Farkers actually drink so helplessly? Do you suck it down until it's all gone or until you're physically unable to have one more drink? Some of the most inveterate drunks I've known would stand up, walk to the bathroom, then put themselves to bed, leaving half a beer or or more sitting there. As opposed to, say, draining the glass, falling to the floor and wetting themselves.

My hunch tells me that if "being unable to stop a drinking session" is the definition of alcoholism then very few people in AA are true alcoholics.

I know people like that. There are two kinds of people in AA: "true" alcoholics who get blackout shiatfaced the first time they drink, and never drink any other way, and people who gradually become dependent on alcohol to the point where it starts to screw up their lives. I'm the latter; it's gotten very difficult for me to stop after one drink, and if I have four, I generally have eight. I'm not drinking at all at the moment, but I hold no apprehensions that I can drink like a normal person any more. I'm not gonna do AA, though; I have no trouble NOT drinking after the first couple days drying out, and my biggest "rock bottom" story would be along the lines of "I'm 50 pounds overweight." Plus, the whole "give in to your higher power" thing kinda creeps me out.


"True alcoholics" don't get drunk or blackout.
 
2014-01-06 08:02:31 PM  
mbillips:  "[T]rue" alcoholics who get blackout shiatfaced the first time they drink, and never drink any other way, and people who gradually become dependent on alcohol to the point where it starts to screw up their lives.

I don't have much of a life to screw up, which was true years before I started drinking every day about 8 years ago at age 42. I've been so consistently nonfunctional that I've never had a real job, a successful long-term relationship (except to economize on rent while she paid off her student loans, in separate bedrooms), a formal education, or a kid or step-kid. One benefit of being totally unable to handle "normal responsibilities" is that the chances for failing at anything are very minimized, as are the dangers of "irresponsible conduct."

On the other hand, if you want to see me sober give me a dog to walk. The few responsibilities I can manage I'm serious about.

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose / Nothing ain't worth nothing but it's free." - Kris Kristofferson
 
2014-01-06 08:08:30 PM  

mbillips: The One True TheDavid: FTFA: "[O]nce they have taken that first drink, they know they can't stop."

This is such bullshiat. Where does such propaganda come from? I have never kept drinking till the last drop in the house was gone, nor have I spent every penny in my pockets in a bar. In fact most nights I cut myself off at a certain point, going by how I feel, so as to avoid a hangover, and there's no way anybody could call me an unusually disciplined drinker.

Do many of you Farkers actually drink so helplessly? Do you suck it down until it's all gone or until you're physically unable to have one more drink? Some of the most inveterate drunks I've known would stand up, walk to the bathroom, then put themselves to bed, leaving half a beer or or more sitting there. As opposed to, say, draining the glass, falling to the floor and wetting themselves.

My hunch tells me that if "being unable to stop a drinking session" is the definition of alcoholism then very few people in AA are true alcoholics.

I know people like that. There are two kinds of people in AA: "true" alcoholics who get blackout shiatfaced the first time they drink, and never drink any other way, and people who gradually become dependent on alcohol to the point where it starts to screw up their lives. I'm the latter; it's gotten very difficult for me to stop after one drink, and if I have four, I generally have eight. I'm not drinking at all at the moment, but I hold no apprehensions that I can drink like a normal person any more. I'm not gonna do AA, though; I have no trouble NOT drinking after the first couple days drying out, and my biggest "rock bottom" story would be along the lines of "I'm 50 pounds overweight." Plus, the whole "give in to your higher power" thing kinda creeps me out.


Yep, sounds like me.

My take on it is simple.  I used to be able to control my drinking, meaning I could decide ahead of time whether it was going to be a 4 drink max social drinking night, or a 1 and done night, or an all-nighter.  These days I've found that about 8 out of 10 times I can still do that, the other 2 I end up on a black out drunk without meaning to.

It's like everyone has a switch that can turn it off and on, and mine has a short in it so it only works intermittently.  I can either keep using it till it breaks altogether, or just give it up and use a lamp instead.  While I'd like to be able to repair the switch, unfortunately it's not an option.
 
2014-01-06 08:11:01 PM  

ladyfortuna: It is rare for me to get seriously compromised with alcohol, but by pure medical consideration I am a medium to heavy drinker.


That's how I do it. Even though the "real-world" penalties are few. Another essential thing is that my drinking has to be fun: if it's too much like work somebody better be paying me.
 
2014-01-06 08:11:40 PM  
Drink at work! That way one can get compensated while getting incapacitated. A win-win!
 
2014-01-06 08:11:48 PM  
So, yeah... I normally don't "out" myself, but this one rubbed me the wrong way a bit.

The One True TheDavid: FTFA: "[O]nce they have taken that first drink, they know they can't stop."

This is such bullshiat. Where does such propaganda come from? I have never kept drinking till the last drop in the house was gone, nor have I spent every penny in my pockets in a bar. In fact most nights I cut myself off at a certain point, going by how I feel, so as to avoid a hangover, and there's no way anybody could call me an unusually disciplined drinker.


Let me tell you how that sounds to me: "I drink normally, get drunk a bit now and then, and try to avoid getting hangovers, therefore this whole 'cannot moderate the drinking' and 'addictive behavior' while drinking is bullshiat."

Do many of you Farkers actually drink so helplessly? Do you suck it down until it's all gone or until you're physically unable to have one more drink? Some of the most inveterate drunks I've known would stand up, walk to the bathroom, then put themselves to bed, leaving half a beer or or more sitting there. As opposed to, say, draining the glass, falling to the floor and wetting themselves.

There was no "suck it down until it's all gone" with me, because at that point I'd get in the car and go buy more, no matter how much I'd consumed. I'd then continue until I was physically unable to consume more most of the time due to passing out where I was drinking. Yes, draining the glass, falling to the floor (or tipping forward to the desk) was the norm, not the exception.  "Helplessly" is a good description, actually. I know my limit: it's one more.

My hunch tells me that if "being unable to stop a drinking session" is the definition of alcoholism then very few people in AA are true alcoholics.

Spoken like somebody who can moderate his drinking: "Alcoholism clearly doesn't exist because I can't comprehend it." For an alcoholic, no explanation of the compulsion is necessary; for a non-alcoholic, no understanding of the compulsion is possible. The majority of the people I interact with regularly in actual AA meetings do, in fact, understand the "can't stop at one" dilemma; if you don't understand it, there's a really good chance you're either not an alcoholic or haven't yet figured out that you are. There's functionally no difference between the two.

Consider yourself lucky that you can put the plug in the jug and walk away. There are some of us who truly can't stop with just one drink.
 
2014-01-06 08:13:19 PM  
Think of it as a pendulum.  You start out at frat parties and Tijuana bars getting trashed on six beers and throwing up.  That's the beginning of the pendulum swing.  The people that "get noticeably shiatfaced", pulled over for drunk driving, puking and falling asleep in the toilet....that's beginning to middle of the swing.  Most don't make it past that point without getting decked with some serious life consequences.  It depends on your physical chemistry.

If you make it to the other end of the pendulum swing, there is no more puking, no more being noticeably drunk, no more doing dangerous, risky stuff, no more hangovers.  People around you would never guess you've been drinking and your tolerance is so high that you could function at very complex tasks (mental and motor) with ease.  But you don't want to be there, because now you've screwed up your chemistry and you're going to have to pace yourself to correct it.
 
2014-01-06 08:17:03 PM  

Witness99: mbillips: The One True TheDavid: FTFA: "[O]nce they have taken that first drink, they know they can't stop."

This is such bullshiat. Where does such propaganda come from? I have never kept drinking till the last drop in the house was gone, nor have I spent every penny in my pockets in a bar. In fact most nights I cut myself off at a certain point, going by how I feel, so as to avoid a hangover, and there's no way anybody could call me an unusually disciplined drinker.

Do many of you Farkers actually drink so helplessly? Do you suck it down until it's all gone or until you're physically unable to have one more drink? Some of the most inveterate drunks I've known would stand up, walk to the bathroom, then put themselves to bed, leaving half a beer or or more sitting there. As opposed to, say, draining the glass, falling to the floor and wetting themselves.

My hunch tells me that if "being unable to stop a drinking session" is the definition of alcoholism then very few people in AA are true alcoholics.

I know people like that. There are two kinds of people in AA: "true" alcoholics who get blackout shiatfaced the first time they drink, and never drink any other way, and people who gradually become dependent on alcohol to the point where it starts to screw up their lives. I'm the latter; it's gotten very difficult for me to stop after one drink, and if I have four, I generally have eight. I'm not drinking at all at the moment, but I hold no apprehensions that I can drink like a normal person any more. I'm not gonna do AA, though; I have no trouble NOT drinking after the first couple days drying out, and my biggest "rock bottom" story would be along the lines of "I'm 50 pounds overweight." Plus, the whole "give in to your higher power" thing kinda creeps me out.

"True alcoholics" don't get drunk or blackout.


I don't think you know what a blackout is. I've had a few; you don't necessarily pass out or lose control of yourself. You just stop putting experiences into long-term memory. The next day, it's really hard to remember in much detail what happened the night before, which might have been completely mundane. People around you may not have even realized how drunk you were. Most of my blackouts have been while sitting at home, watching TV. The next day, I have no memory of the movie I saw the night before.
 
2014-01-06 08:18:25 PM  

wichitaleaf: jerky on the veldt: Yesterday I ate a tube of Oreos to stop myself from going out in the cold to buy a six-pack an hour before bed.

/third day

That's what I have to do.
Hard to drink when I'm stuffed.
Sugared stuff seems to also curb beer cravings.
Gonna probably get fatter though.


Alcoholic hypoglycemia. Your body expects the sugar rush from the alcohol, but doesn't get it.

Don't binge on the sugary treats, but really look into taking up a diet similar to what hypoglycemics have to do to keep level.
 
2014-01-06 08:23:05 PM  

Blitherakt: So, yeah... I normally don't "out" myself, but this one rubbed me the wrong way a bit.

The One True TheDavid: FTFA: "[O]nce they have taken that first drink, they know they can't stop."

This is such bullshiat. Where does such propaganda come from? I have never kept drinking till the last drop in the house was gone, nor have I spent every penny in my pockets in a bar. In fact most nights I cut myself off at a certain point, going by how I feel, so as to avoid a hangover, and there's no way anybody could call me an unusually disciplined drinker.

Let me tell you how that sounds to me: "I drink normally, get drunk a bit now and then, and try to avoid getting hangovers, therefore this whole 'cannot moderate the drinking' and 'addictive behavior' while drinking is bullshiat."

Do many of you Farkers actually drink so helplessly? Do you suck it down until it's all gone or until you're physically unable to have one more drink? Some of the most inveterate drunks I've known would stand up, walk to the bathroom, then put themselves to bed, leaving half a beer or or more sitting there. As opposed to, say, draining the glass, falling to the floor and wetting themselves.

There was no "suck it down until it's all gone" with me, because at that point I'd get in the car and go buy more, no matter how much I'd consumed. I'd then continue until I was physically unable to consume more most of the time due to passing out where I was drinking. Yes, draining the glass, falling to the floor (or tipping forward to the desk) was the norm, not the exception.  "Helplessly" is a good description, actually. I know my limit: it's one more.

My hunch tells me that if "being unable to stop a drinking session" is the definition of alcoholism then very few people in AA are true alcoholics.

Spoken like somebody who can moderate his drinking: "Alcoholism clearly doesn't exist because I can't comprehend it." For an alcoholic, no explanation of the compulsion is necessary; for a non-alcoholic, no un ...


A friend from when I grew up has been in and out of rehab a half-dozen times.  The last time, he was released from a 90-day program, and was picked up for DUI less than 24 hours later.  His mom & dad both said 'no more'.  No bail, no lawyer, nothing.  Let him dry out in jail.  Sad, sad, sad story.

I understand how it happens, but I can't conceive that I would ever be that way with alcohol.  On the other hand, I'll never fill a prescription for Valium or Xanax.  I took one of those before Lasik surgery and it scared the crap out of me after I had recovered from post-op.
 
2014-01-06 08:25:23 PM  

Thingster: wichitaleaf: jerky on the veldt: Yesterday I ate a tube of Oreos to stop myself from going out in the cold to buy a six-pack an hour before bed.

/third day

That's what I have to do.
Hard to drink when I'm stuffed.
Sugared stuff seems to also curb beer cravings.
Gonna probably get fatter though.

Alcoholic hypoglycemia. Your body expects the sugar rush from the alcohol, but doesn't get it.

Don't binge on the sugary treats, but really look into taking up a diet similar to what hypoglycemics have to do to keep level.


Yeah, I have combined not-drinking with a high-protein, low-carb diet, and more exercise. Really seems to help. I'm starving, because I'm limiting my calories, but I don't have any booze cravings.
 
2014-01-06 08:26:19 PM  
Maybe it's just that I didn't "take to drink" till after I quit smoking a pack or two of non-filtereds a day for 20-odd years. I gather most people start drinking early and continue their relationship with alcohol in whatever fashion and to whatever degree, but there were some years when I'd didn't drink and some where I got barfing-into-the-storm-drain blitzed every other weekend for the duration of summer. It was just not an important part of my life.

What I drank till my eyeballs floated was coffee. A couple dozen "servings" a day, right up till I fell asleep. My bladder itched, I got fine tremors, my patience wore thin, it got hard to focus, and withdrawal meant a blinding migraine. These days my caffeine consumption is much more moderate: in the evening I switch to ethanol, and I'm much easier to get along with when I'm drinking unless you have "issues" with people who drink. (You know, when ya gotta say "I'm sorry your father was a violent drunk all through your childhood, but I'm neither violent nor your daddy, and for pete's sake you're 35 now anyway.")

Good pot can give me visions. Booze makes me mellow. Even on Fark: if you could see me you'd know I mean what I type but it's all just a hobby. (So no matter what you call me I wouldn't come kill you even if you lived across the street.)

/ Oh, by the way, I'm sorry there are pedophiles. But then I also apologize for red lights.
 
2014-01-06 08:31:53 PM  
Hey, let's ban booze!  That'll fix everything; you'll see!
 
2014-01-06 08:37:08 PM  

mbillips: Witness99: mbillips: The One True TheDavid: FTFA: "[O]nce they have taken that first drink, they know they can't stop."

This is such bullshiat. Where does such propaganda come from? I have never kept drinking till the last drop in the house was gone, nor have I spent every penny in my pockets in a bar. In fact most nights I cut myself off at a certain point, going by how I feel, so as to avoid a hangover, and there's no way anybody could call me an unusually disciplined drinker.

Do many of you Farkers actually drink so helplessly? Do you suck it down until it's all gone or until you're physically unable to have one more drink? Some of the most inveterate drunks I've known would stand up, walk to the bathroom, then put themselves to bed, leaving half a beer or or more sitting there. As opposed to, say, draining the glass, falling to the floor and wetting themselves.

My hunch tells me that if "being unable to stop a drinking session" is the definition of alcoholism then very few people in AA are true alcoholics.

I know people like that. There are two kinds of people in AA: "true" alcoholics who get blackout shiatfaced the first time they drink, and never drink any other way, and people who gradually become dependent on alcohol to the point where it starts to screw up their lives. I'm the latter; it's gotten very difficult for me to stop after one drink, and if I have four, I generally have eight. I'm not drinking at all at the moment, but I hold no apprehensions that I can drink like a normal person any more. I'm not gonna do AA, though; I have no trouble NOT drinking after the first couple days drying out, and my biggest "rock bottom" story would be along the lines of "I'm 50 pounds overweight." Plus, the whole "give in to your higher power" thing kinda creeps me out.

"True alcoholics" don't get drunk or blackout.

I don't think you know what a blackout is. I've had a few; you don't necessarily pass out or lose control of yourself. You just stop putting experien ...


When I was beginning to mid pendulum swing, I would get drunk and have blackouts, or periods of time I couldn't remember.  Not anymore.  I couldn't get drunk if I tried, and really, I don't try much anymore.  It's like I've come to the end of the road and there's nothing to be gained, no happy feeling of escape, no avoiding my real world problems.  So for me, reaching the end of the pendulum swing has resulted in loss of interest in alcohol.  I've cut my drinking in half (because it offers no high), in fact, I drink less and less on a weekly basis to step my body down from the dependence.
 
2014-01-06 08:44:47 PM  
 
2014-01-06 08:52:23 PM  
"Regular people, people who are not drunks or addicts, will drink too much, get a horrible hangover, and decide not to do it again.  And then they don't.  An addict decides that there was something wrong with his technique or the ratios.   It was the gin; from now on, brown liquor only.  And water, I forgot to drink water.  Or maybe it was the lack of food.  Next time I think about doing shots on an empty stomach at three in the afternoon, I'm going to order a grilled cheese.  That should make a huge difference."
 
2014-01-06 08:53:03 PM  

Blitherakt: In fact most nights I cut myself off at a certain point, going by how I feel, so as to avoid a hangover, and there's no way anybody could call me an unusually disciplined drinker.

Let me tell you how that sounds to me: "I drink normally, get drunk a bit now and then, and try to avoid getting hangovers, therefore this whole 'cannot moderate the drinking' and 'addictive behavior' while drinking is bullshiat."


Okay, I hear you. I do tend to judge everything by my own standards, including drinking, which can be kinda like a Ward Cleaver type talking about "family" as if his kind were the only one. And maybe I just haven't known too many drinkers with "serious problems": I can think of one or two, but even they could moderate when they had to. Till the ankle bracelet got taken off, for example.

(It's the junkies I'd call helpless, like this guy I grew up with: the guys at the firehouse a mile away got used to being called to his house for Narcan for him or one of his banging buddies, and he died a few years back when there was nobody to call 911.)

And it's not like I can swear that I'm not an alcoholic. E.g., it may be that it'd be hard for me to give it up; I certainly have no plans to try nor will I ever move to a dry county. It's just that the Official Portrait doesn't fit me: "if that's a devil then I'm the virgin Mary."

It may be true that I'm somehow blessed with "being able to put the plug in the jug." And that I'm an asshole. It's not like I have to work at either. If I deserve any credit for anything it's for not getting so defensive about whatever that I don't think straight (e.g., there a probably dozens of Jehovah's Witnesses around here that don't knock on my door when I'm trying to shiat), which obviously I failed to do upthread.

So please accept my apologies.
 
2014-01-06 09:13:09 PM  
Witness99:

It's like I've come to the end of the road and there's nothing to be gained... reaching the end of the pendulum swing has resulted in loss of interest in alcohol.

I've cut my drinking in half (because it offers no high), in fact, I drink less and less on a weekly basis to step my body down from the dependence.



Boy, does that sound familiar.

I've had the same sensation of "reaching an end" in the last year or two and at first I was pretty bummed by it.  Sort of a "Whatever shall I do after all these years" type of panic set in on realizing things would have to change before too long.

Not any more though, as I've also halved my drinking, and finding out that I can enjoy an evening doing something other than tying one on was a huge relief.

/ not getting any younger either
// see where it goes
 
2014-01-06 09:28:55 PM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: Unlike those who go on drinking in denial, people who put down the booze are facing up to their demons and living life without anaesthetic.

1. Most of us drink because we like the taste, not because we feel compelled to.
2. Most of are capable of distinguishing between a relaxed buzz and blackout drunk, and regulating ourselves accordingly.
3. If you're going to take a month off drinking, for God's sake, pick a better month than January - the darkest, coldest, most depressing month of the year.


Most of us are experts in most subjects, including what most people do and what most people say.  Not to mention the abilities, feelings, and opinions of most of us are mostly known by the most experts as well as most people.
 
2014-01-06 09:32:53 PM  

mbillips: [www.drunkard.com image 450x655]


Heh.Its twelve steps to my bathroom.Thats my program.
 
2014-01-06 09:42:05 PM  
I got drunk yesterday afternoon. And I realize the amount of times I've been drunk is less then my age. In fact I've probably have consumed less then 200 drinks in my life. In comparison I've probably have had about 30,000 soft drinks and about 14lbs of pot.

/I sound fat and stoned
//I am fat, but sadly currently sober
 
2014-01-06 09:57:18 PM  

Thingster: wichitaleaf: jerky on the veldt: Yesterday I ate a tube of Oreos to stop myself from going out in the cold to buy a six-pack an hour before bed.

/third day

That's what I have to do.
Hard to drink when I'm stuffed.
Sugared stuff seems to also curb beer cravings.
Gonna probably get fatter though.

Alcoholic hypoglycemia. Your body expects the sugar rush from the alcohol, but doesn't get it.

Don't binge on the sugary treats, but really look into taking up a diet similar to what hypoglycemics have to do to keep level.


That, I will take into serious consideration (looks at lunch) after lunch.
 
2014-01-06 10:07:47 PM  
www.drunkard.com
 
2014-01-06 10:15:31 PM  

stevenvictx: I dont drink  (hate the taste of alcohol)
I live in Texas.
Have to keep it hush-hush and must live in constant fear of the rednecks(or cowboys, they call themselves) finding out and throwing me out of the state


*blinks with astonishment* I should think a reliable designated driver would be a drinker's best friend.
 
2014-01-06 10:17:04 PM  

tjsands1118: I've probably have consumed less then 200 drinks in my life.



i25.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-06 10:20:11 PM  
simplifyreality.com
 
2014-01-06 10:53:44 PM  
Naw. I haven't had a drink in 25 years. But the water I put away! It's insane!

/Really
 
2014-01-06 11:05:12 PM  

mbillips: I know people like that. There are two kinds of people in AA: "true" alcoholics who get blackout shiatfaced the first time they drink, and never drink any other way, and people who gradually become dependent on alcohol to the point where it starts to screw up their lives. I'm the latter; it's gotten very difficult for me to stop after one drink, and if I have four, I generally have eight. I'm not drinking at all at the moment, but I hold no apprehensions that I can drink like a normal person any more. I'm not gonna do AA, though; I have no trouble NOT drinking after the first couple days drying out, and my biggest "rock bottom" story would be along the lines of "I'm 50 pounds overweight." Plus, the whole "give in to your higher power" thing kinda creeps me out.


You can have a very bad drinking habit, "alcoholic" by most definitions, and still be able to get it under control (most of the time). Some people want help with that, and others don't need it or want it. There's also high-functioning alcoholics who can keep it up for years and years and you don't understand how they can do it.

And then there's the "I'm going to drink everything I can get my hands on" drinker, from the time they have their first drink ever. I was like that. Drank myself half to death before I was 30.

The funny thing is, I still have a particular weakness for alcoholic men. The functional ones are like catnip to me.

/Hey, I said I quit drinking, not that I fixed everything.
 
2014-01-06 11:17:29 PM  

The One True TheDavid: FTFA: "[O]nce they have taken that first drink, they know they can't stop."

This is such bullshiat. Where does such propaganda come from? I have never kept drinking till the last drop in the house was gone, nor have I spent every penny in my pockets in a bar. In fact most nights I cut myself off at a certain point, going by how I feel, so as to avoid a hangover, and there's no way anybody could call me an unusually disciplined drinker.

Do many of you Farkers actually drink so helplessly? Do you suck it down until it's all gone or until you're physically unable to have one more drink? Some of the most inveterate drunks I've known would stand up, walk to the bathroom, then put themselves to bed, leaving half a beer or or more sitting there. As opposed to, say, draining the glass, falling to the floor and wetting themselves.

My hunch tells me that if "being unable to stop a drinking session" is the definition of alcoholism then very few people in AA are true alcoholics.


My god, you come off as insufferable here. I don't know anybody who "knows" they can't stop after their first drink, but after that you sound completely naive.

Lots of people drink kind of helplessly. A friend of mine downed a bottle of Triple Sec that was left over from his roommate making margaritas one night. The four of them shared a bottle of tequila but of course you use much less triple sec than tequila (never mind that a better margarita is made with fresh lime and agave nectar). This friend of mine didn't have any beer, maybe didn't even have enough money for beer and just poured himself glasses of triple sec.

I've been drunk and drank something weird just to keep drinking, but I never had to drink somebody else's bottle without asking. Unless you count my girlfriend, but I usually paid for it in the first place.
 
2014-01-06 11:21:08 PM  

ladyfortuna: I do hate wasting half a beer on occasion though. Craft stuff is expensive.


How expensive is it really? Even at $20 for a 4-pack of 12oz bottles comes to less than 50 cents per oz. So you might waste $2.50 on a rare occasion? And you helped create demand on the market. There is that much less on the market because you may have to buy more earlier.

OK, I should put down the bong.
 
2014-01-07 12:02:34 AM  

teenage mutant ninja rapist: Dont like the taste? Nobody likes the damn taste. Have you ever seen a person do a shot of tequila and say "my thats lovely, tastes like happy" I didnt think so.


I think most people dislike the taste of the alcohol, but if you get over that, then booze does taste interesting. On more than one occasion I've wished I could have another beer or cocktail, if only having another drink wouldn't ruin the next day or get me more buzzed than I want.

Used to read a blog by a researcher that investigating drug abuse. Stopped when he made a comment that the only reason people like coffee is because of the caffeine.  At that point I realized he was a nitwit.
 
2014-01-07 12:12:01 AM  
Was diagnosed with liver disease last year at age thirty... luckily it was caught before any permanent scarring occurred. Don't think that shiat won't hit you early, it doesn't always take long for it to set in. Doubly so if you're a fatty like me.

And for the love of god, go to a farking doctor before you quit cold turkey if you're a heavy drinker. No idea how TFA doesn't mention this.
 
zez
2014-01-07 12:23:11 AM  

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: I'm pretty sure I had the flu last week.  But for some time I was seriously worried it was withdrawal after stopping drinking on January 1 (trying to go a month without drinking, already failed).  The symptoms are remarkably similar and I couldn't remember the last day I'd not had at least 2/3 drinks.


Don't try to stop drinking in January because there isn't much else to to. Try Spring or Summer when you can go out and do things besides sitting in the house next to the fridge full of beer or whatever.
 
zez
2014-01-07 12:48:58 AM  

Chafed Willi: Was diagnosed with liver disease last year at age thirty... luckily it was caught before any permanent scarring occurred. Don't think that shiat won't hit you early, it doesn't always take long for it to set in. Doubly so if you're a fatty like me.

And for the love of god, go to a farking doctor before you quit cold turkey if you're a heavy drinker. No idea how TFA doesn't mention this.


Do you really drink that much? My wife had non-alcoholic cirrhosis fatty liver disease and rarely ever drinks. She lost a lot a weight and it cleared right up.  Of course I drink every day and my test results are fantastic. Maybe it's because I ride a bike 200 miles a week.
 
2014-01-07 02:02:52 AM  
I've kitchen-managed a pub for the last 4 years, and though i generally have a drink after work (but only occasionally at home), i am the only one on staff who doesn't do the 'get blackout wasted' thing on a regular basis... I think the last time i did was probably 16+ yrs ago.

This is a college-town, and i'm old enough to be the cool-aunt to the lot of them at work...
Still, i live in fear of the day when one of them ends up being a tragic statistic.
 
2014-01-07 02:06:37 AM  

jaylectricity: The other distinction we often fail to make is people who can not handle being awake without a buzz versus people who go to work then go home, make dinner, take care of family duties then maybe drink a 6-pack between 7-10pm every night.


Hey! That's me!
 
2014-01-07 03:46:03 AM  
I feel like the puritanical protestant ideals engrained in society occasionally make people feel weird about perfectly normal drinking habits. You would think we would have this shiat under control so long after repeal, but every time an article like this comes around it causes a worried chorus of "I drink some wine/beer/cocktails regularly during the week - oh god I'm an alcoholic!". No, you're probably not. You're taking part in the rich history of western culture, now have a drink and stop letting people shame you over something so stupid.
 
2014-01-07 04:36:59 AM  
I went through University and my early twenties without over the top drinking. I used to work out and play sport during weeknights so I wouldn't have time to drink. I didn't always drink on weekends or if I did I rarely got drunk because I couldn't afford it.

Once I started full time work it started with Friday night drinks and the usual Saturday drinks with friends. Then as I earnt more money I would drink more during the week until I was drinking most days.

Some days I would have one beer sometimes 10. I occasionally would have a week or two without drinking but then get back straight back on the drink.

Since my wife has become pregnant I've decided to cut right down on drinking and exercise more. I don't want to cut it out completely but I'd love to get in shape again.

I've been doing well the past month and hope to keep it up. Wish me luck guys :)
 
2014-01-07 08:26:03 AM  

zez: Chafed Willi: Was diagnosed with liver disease last year at age thirty... luckily it was caught before any permanent scarring occurred. Don't think that shiat won't hit you early, it doesn't always take long for it to set in. Doubly so if you're a fatty like me.

And for the love of god, go to a farking doctor before you quit cold turkey if you're a heavy drinker. No idea how TFA doesn't mention this.

Do you really drink that much? My wife had non-alcoholic cirrhosis fatty liver disease and rarely ever drinks. She lost a lot a weight and it cleared right up.  Of course I drink every day and my test results are fantastic. Maybe it's because I ride a bike 200 miles a week.


I averaged about 20oz of vodka a night...my other fat guy tests (hdl/ldl, diabetes, etc) came back in healthy ranges all around, leaving alcohol as the primary factor. Lost 30 pounds the first two months just quitting and being mindful of my diet...if I had the will power to exercise as much as you do I'd set!
 
2014-01-07 09:56:59 AM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: Unlike those who go on drinking in denial, people who put down the booze are facing up to their demons and living life without anaesthetic.

1. Most of us drink because we like the taste, not because we feel compelled to.
2. Most of are capable of distinguishing between a relaxed buzz and blackout drunk, and regulating ourselves accordingly.
3. If you're going to take a month off drinking, for God's sake, pick a better month than January - the darkest, coldest, most depressing month of the year.


You sound defensive.

Do you drink because you like the taste, or in order to get you through darkness, coldness, and depression?
 
2014-01-07 10:08:19 AM  

teenage mutant ninja rapist: bborchar: I drink maybe once every two months. Don't like the taste of alcohol, so that pretty much seals it for me.

Dont like the taste? Nobody likes the damn taste. Have you ever seen a person do a shot of tequila and say "my thats lovely, tastes like happy" I didnt think so.


Girlie shots are farking delicious. Don't kid yourself.
 
2014-01-07 12:21:04 PM  

The One True TheDavid: Okay, I hear you. I do tend to judge everything by my own standards, including drinking, which can be kinda like a Ward Cleaver type talking about "family" as if his kind were the only one. And maybe I just haven't known too many drinkers with "serious problems": I can think of one or two, but even they could moderate when they had to. Till the ankle bracelet got taken off, for example.

(It's the junkies I'd call helpless, like this guy I grew up with: the guys at the firehouse a mile away got used to being called to his house for Narcan for him or one of his banging buddies, and he died a few years back when there was nobody to call 911.)

And it's not like I can swear that I'm not an alcoholic. E.g., it may be that it'd be hard for me to give it up; I certainly have no plans to try nor will I ever move to a dry county. It's just that the Official Portrait doesn't fit me: "if that's a devil then I'm the virgin Mary."

It may be true that I'm somehow blessed with "being able to put the plug in the jug." And that I'm an asshole. It's not like I have to work at either. If I deserve any credit for anything it's for not getting so defensive about whatever that I don't think straight (e.g., there a probably dozens of Jehovah's Witnesses around here that don't knock on my door when I'm trying to shiat), which obviously I failed to do upthread.

So please accept my apologies.


No worries. That's part of the whole "you can't really understand unless you are one" problem. There are basically three types of drinkers in my experience: those who drink normally, those who don't realize they're an alcoholic, and those in denial. I've been all three. Like I said earlier, you don't seem to understand the whole "compulsion" deal, so you're not one. It's a bizarre classification in that it's the only recognized "disease" by the mental and medical professions that requires self diagnosis.

One of the most insidious things about alcoholism is how it manifests. Between about 16 years and 30 years of age, I had maybe 20 drinks in my life and had been drunk once. Between 30 and maybe 35, I drank socially (normally), never drove drunk, and generally drank stuff because I liked the taste. Somewhere between 33 and 37, things changed: I wasn't an alcoholic until I was. During that time until I hit 42, I went from maybe a case of beer a week and a few martinis, to a case of beer a night and 3 to 4 handles of whiskey a week; I started always drinking for the effect rather than the taste or the social aspects. The night of my last drink, I started with 3 shots of tequila, 4 beers and 3 Long Islands at a company function to "pregame" going over to a friends house where I consumed 2 handles of Gin before having to be picked up and taken home.  I didn't understand what alcoholism was until that moment, even though I'd been a "practicing" drunk for several years at that point.

People tend to dismiss it as lack of discipline or emotional problems. I can control drinking through sheer force of will, but that doesn't stop the shiatty behavior; I just end up being an asshole who's pissed off because his emotional blunting tool can't be used. There's absolutely a willpower component and an emotional component to the issue, but they're not the primary deal in my case.

If I kiss a girl who's taken a drink in the past 10 minutes or so, I start salivating; if I use hand sanitizer, I start thinking of a bar; eating yeast rolls makes me crave a beer. I've been mistakenly given somebody else's gin and tonic when I ordered sprite and sat there having conflicting thoughts with my mouth full of alcohol: if I send the drink back, it'll be a waste of booze so I should just finish it and stop at one; yet I know where I wound up the last time I had a drink. The reason that "normal" people don't understand that is because it's just not farking normal.
 
2014-01-07 11:37:01 PM  

cryinoutloud: I still have a particular weakness for alcoholic men. The functional ones are like catnip to me.


Here kitty kitty.

Oh. Wait. You said "functional." Does it count if I'm not nonfunctional because of my boozing?

In general I have a particular weakness for women with low standards and/or a very compassionate nature: I'll even be gladly a once-a-month pity fark, and I'll cook dinner. It beats all hell out of one of those Serious Relationship thingies I fail so miserably at.

However y'all Farkettes should keep in mind that, according to the principle that real life should make up for what one can't get online and/or do for oneself, I'm cuddly but not conversational. Words belong in writing, and my hearing aid itches after a couple hours.
 
2014-01-07 11:54:39 PM  
You can know that you're a drunk, but not really care how that will turn out. Maybe it's being drunk that eases your fears. But when you start calling the six beers and three shots of bourbon (or vice versa) your prescription...you might still be in denial.

Is it still denial if you accept that you have a problem and you'll drink until you die? I mean, that's a pretty nice leap over all the other stages of grief.
 
2014-01-07 11:59:15 PM  

jaylectricity replieth unto me:

My god, you come off as insufferable here.

Only here?

Dammit. I'm slipping.


Chafed Willi: And for the love of god, go to a farking doctor before you quit cold turkey if you're a heavy drinker.


My ex's great-grandfather died from DTs. Seriously. Apparently there's a point where pouring booze down a person's throat won't work anymore.

And I just found out from the Wikipedia article that "Occurrence of a similar syndrome due to benzodiazepines does not require as long a period of consistent intake of such drugs." And barbiturate withdrawal can be fatal too.

Heroin withdrawal on the other hand is like a bad case of flu: a few days of crying, aching all over and shiatting yourself and you're through. And heroin is harder to get in the first place. So it seems to me that unlike being an alcoholic, you have to want to be a junkie.

Indeed, I've known people who did smack because it was socially disreputable, as if sticking a spike in your arm was a revolutionary act. If you have to try so hard to épater le bourgeois you should go back to Sunday school and join the damn choir.
 
2014-01-08 12:08:02 AM  

Pangea: Do you drink because you like the taste, or in order to get you through darkness, coldness, and depression?


All the above! And because I can afford it (if I'm cheap otherwise), it's easy to find (no dry county for me), it's another thing I can do all by myself, and unlike say smack or crack you know what you're getting. It's also fun: fun can be hard to find sometimes.

I do drink quite a bit more in the winter. Pretty soon I'll be killing a fifth of vodka in a couple days, or nights rather. I've had 4 or 5 shots just during tonight's return to this thread.
 
2014-01-08 01:40:12 AM  

jaylectricity: ladyfortuna: I do hate wasting half a beer on occasion though. Craft stuff is expensive.

How expensive is it really? Even at $20 for a 4-pack of 12oz bottles comes to less than 50 cents per oz. So you might waste $2.50 on a rare occasion? And you helped create demand on the market. There is that much less on the market because you may have to buy more earlier.

OK, I should put down the bong.


I've been in college for three semesters and live in the boonies. Wasting money like that means scraping for gas on occasion...
 
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