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(ABC)   JP Morgan is going to have to shake the couch cushions again to come up with the $2 billion they were just fined for helping Bernie Madoff rip everybody off   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 36
    More: Followup, JPMorgan Chase & Co., Bernie Madoff, money management, Consumer Electronics Association  
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1013 clicks; posted to Business » on 06 Jan 2014 at 2:47 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



36 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-06 01:13:30 PM  
Only 2 billion?
How about fining them the entire payback for the victims?
 
2014-01-06 01:14:20 PM  
I'd have shaken her cushions:

www.recordsale.de
 
2014-01-06 01:16:17 PM  
So, who at JPM gets the $5B bonus for negotiating the settlement down?
WIN/WIN is just so cool when you are a banker.
 
2014-01-06 01:48:48 PM  
and not a dime of that will go to the victims.
 
2014-01-06 01:51:50 PM  
Can we hang just one Wall St. CEO in front of the big bull as an example?
 
2014-01-06 01:53:16 PM  
Not defending these jerks, but $2 bill stings no matter who you are.

ManateeGag: and not a dime of that will go to the victims.


if this is the case, that sucks.
 
2014-01-06 02:02:31 PM  

bronyaur1: Not defending these jerks, but $2 bill stings no matter who you are.

ManateeGag: and not a dime of that will go to the victims.

if this is the case, that sucks.


well that at least looks to be not quite that bad:
"According to published reports an announcement is likely this week. JPMorgan Chase would pay about $2 billion in penalties related to Madoff and most of the money will go to his victims.  "
 
2014-01-06 02:18:46 PM  

dittybopper: I'd have shaken her cushions:

[www.recordsale.de image 850x873]


I liked her better on the Gong Show (NSFW).

I miss the old days of unencrypted satellite TV.
 
2014-01-06 02:22:17 PM  

Eddie Adams from Torrance: Can we hang just one Wall St. CEO in front of the big bull as an example?


Are you kidding?  Remember the "Occupy" protests?  The only thing the cops really cared about was protecting the statue of that damned bull.

No, I'm afraid we're going to have to dump him in the east river instead.
 
2014-01-06 02:27:34 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: dittybopper: I'd have shaken her cushions:

[www.recordsale.de image 850x873]

I liked her better on the Gong Show (NSFW).

I miss the old days of unencrypted satellite TV.


Yeah, well, it's not like I was going to use a work computer to search for that one.
 
2014-01-06 02:49:27 PM  
No one goes to jail as usual.
 
2014-01-06 02:49:58 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: The only thing the cops really cared about was protecting the statue of that damned bull.


You mean Baal?
 
2014-01-06 02:55:39 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: Eddie Adams from Torrance: Can we hang just one Wall St. CEO in front of the big bull as an example?

Are you kidding?  Remember the "Occupy" protests?  The only thing the cops really cared about was protecting the statue of that damned bull.

No, I'm afraid we're going to have to dump him in the east river instead.


We could be polluting the river. Just feed its corpse to the pigs.
 
2014-01-06 02:58:55 PM  

Magorn:
well that at least looks to be not quite that bad:
"According to published reports an announcement is likely this week. JPMorgan Chase would pay about $2 billion in penalties related to Madoff and most of the money will go to his victims.  "


Maybe I'm a little cynical, but I can't help but think that most of the 'victims' in this case will turn out to be other banks and hedge fund managers.
 
2014-01-06 03:11:25 PM  

BalugaJoe: No one goes to jail as usual.


Well, except Madoff
 
2014-01-06 03:41:16 PM  

ManateeGag: and not a dime of that will go to the victims.


And no one will go to jail either, if you have billions you can afford lawyers jewish enough to make this happen.
 
2014-01-06 03:42:09 PM  

Eddie Adams from Torrance: Can we hang just one Wall St. CEO in front of the big bull as an example?


Damn straight. Until the ENTIRE BOARD, all the CxOs and whatever directors/VPs who "devised" the Ponzi scheme are in a PMITA prison, nothing of consequence will be lost and nothing will change, except now they know they'll get away with it the next time they do it.

Sure, JPM will pay this "fine", but since-according to their September 2013 10Q-they made $12,645,000,000 profit, do you honestly think they give two shiats about some pesky little "fine"?

i651.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-06 04:07:59 PM  
So does Kevin Bacon get his money back?
 
2014-01-06 04:12:44 PM  

vudukungfu: Only 2 billion?
How about fining them the entire payback for the victims?


WHAT victims?
The investors knew that it was fraud.
There is no such thing as zero risk investment and 13 quarters in a row without a loss.
period

You knew that you were investing in fraud and hoped to get out early.

/cry me a river. next you will want me to feel sorry for the idiots who lost their 401k at enron.
/WHO has a 401k which you can not get out of when you want to, are FORCED to invest only in the companies stock, oh right, AND you couldnt get out while the execs were able to get out. 
/what part of RED FLAGS are confusing? LOL
/assholes at enron were so happy when things were going up. same as the maddoff "investors"
//rant off
 
2014-01-06 04:38:08 PM  
Sometimes I kind of wish for these types of crimes they would use the death penalty like in China. It would be nice to see this done to the people that did the whole Target ripoff scheme hang. (like they will ever get caught)
 
2014-01-06 04:51:36 PM  

vudukungfu: Marcus Aurelius: The only thing the cops really cared about was protecting the statue of that damned bull.

You mean Baal?


lh3.ggpht.com
You just need to pray harder to Jesus and you can justify it.
 
2014-01-06 05:12:34 PM  

vudukungfu: Only 2 billion?
How about fining them the entire payback for the victims?


How about fining the SEC or other regulators for the "victims"? Shouldn't they have had better insight into whether a broker dealer they regulate was a fraud?!?

/Ans. : Because the SEC doesn't have a banking license to threaten in order to extort billions.
 
2014-01-06 05:14:06 PM  

Eddie Adams from Torrance: Magorn:
well that at least looks to be not quite that bad:
"According to published reports an announcement is likely this week. JPMorgan Chase would pay about $2 billion in penalties related to Madoff and most of the money will go to his victims.  "

Maybe I'm a little cynical, but I can't help but think that most of the 'victims' in this case will turn out to be other banks and hedge fund managers.


Lol. The "victims" were primarily 1% ers who invested in Madoff.
 
2014-01-06 05:14:17 PM  
According to published reports an announcement is likely this week. JPMorgan Chase would pay about $2 billion in penalties related to Madoff and most of the money will go to his victims.

Minis 70% in lawyers fees and then 40% off of that sub-total in taxes.
 
2014-01-06 05:16:43 PM  

BalugaJoe: No one goes to jail as usual.


That's what gets me. These rich people get tons of money with their executive salaries, but they are never held responsible for their decisions.

It should be 'Hey, here is $300mil/yr. If you fark up we will kill you.'. If you don't want that stipulation then go get a job with less responsibility.

Somebody is approving of those illegal activities. Find them and put there head on a stick.
 
2014-01-06 05:28:52 PM  
Someone from JPM needs to farking go to jail!
 
2014-01-06 05:37:04 PM  

MrSplifferton: BalugaJoe: No one goes to jail as usual.

That's what gets me. These rich people get tons of money with their executive salaries, but they are never held responsible for their decisions.

It should be 'Hey, here is $300mil/yr. If you fark up we will kill you.'. If you don't want that stipulation then go get a job with less responsibility.

Somebody is approving of those illegal activities. Find them and put there head on a stick.


Their response is: "We just lost $2b worth of capital that we could have used to pay higher salaries/bonuses to our people. That's punishment enough."

And they mean it seriously.

// can't (or couldn't) we go after the Architects of the Collapse with RICO?
 
2014-01-06 05:37:58 PM  

namatad: vudukungfu: Only 2 billion?
How about fining them the entire payback for the victims?

WHAT victims?
The investors knew that it was fraud.
There is no such thing as zero risk investment and 13 quarters in a row without a loss.
period

You knew that you were investing in fraud and hoped to get out early.

/cry me a river. next you will want me to feel sorry for the idiots who lost their 401k at enron.
/WHO has a 401k which you can not get out of when you want to, are FORCED to invest only in the companies stock, oh right, AND you couldnt get out while the execs were able to get out.
/what part of RED FLAGS are confusing? LOL
/assholes at enron were so happy when things were going up. same as the maddoff "investors"
//rant off


I don't feel bad for the wealthy that lost money. I do feel bad for the average joe whose 401K or pension was tied to him though. They had no say where their money went.
 
2014-01-06 05:44:06 PM  

Dr Dreidel: MrSplifferton: BalugaJoe: No one goes to jail as usual.

That's what gets me. These rich people get tons of money with their executive salaries, but they are never held responsible for their decisions.

It should be 'Hey, here is $300mil/yr. If you fark up we will kill you.'. If you don't want that stipulation then go get a job with less responsibility.

Somebody is approving of those illegal activities. Find them and put there head on a stick.

Their response is: "We just lost $2b worth of capital that we could have used to pay higher salaries/bonuses to our people. That's punishment enough."

And they mean it seriously.

// can't (or couldn't) we go after the Architects of the Collapse with RICO?


Instead they will have to lower bonuses to the non executives to cover the loss that the executives should have incurred.

Other option is we say 'Ok, jpm is a person. He is sentenced to death and all assets are to be forfeited to the government.' And then we just take everything, I can accept that as a substitute to the ceo's execution.
 
2014-01-06 06:23:30 PM  

bronyaur1: Not defending these jerks, but $2 bill stings no matter who you are.

ManateeGag: and not a dime of that will go to the victims.

if this is the case, that sucks.


Especially when you almost get arrested trying to use it at Taco Bell.
 
2014-01-06 07:27:06 PM  

Debeo Summa Credo: Eddie Adams from Torrance: Magorn:
well that at least looks to be not quite that bad:
"According to published reports an announcement is likely this week. JPMorgan Chase would pay about $2 billion in penalties related to Madoff and most of the money will go to his victims.  "

Maybe I'm a little cynical, but I can't help but think that most of the 'victims' in this case will turn out to be other banks and hedge fund managers.

Lol. The "victims" were primarily 1% ers who invested in Madoff.


Duh. there wouldn't have been a push for a deal, otherwise.

Also, $2 billion, for JP Morgan, is known as "Tuesday."
 
2014-01-06 07:48:28 PM  
I have a question did anyone at the SEC lose their job for not investigating Madoff?
 
2014-01-06 09:52:46 PM  
$2 billion? No problem. We'll have it for you in the morning. Let's go, Elwood.
 
2014-01-06 11:37:34 PM  

bronyaur1: Not defending these jerks, but $2 bill stings no matter who you are.

ManateeGag: and not a dime of that will go to the victims.

if this is the case, that sucks.


They set aside like $25 billion for payouts, yet still paid out bonuses and dividends.

I know you're better than that.  This does not hurt them, they budgeted for it.

Once they "get past this" the stock will soar.

You know how this works.
 
2014-01-07 12:19:34 AM  

Debeo Summa Credo: How about fining the SEC or other regulators for the "victims"? Shouldn't they have had better insight into whether a broker dealer they regulate was a fraud?!?


I agree. This motherfarker warned them for 8 straight years about Madoff's scam and no one would listen to him.

www.senseoncents.com

good story on the subject.
 
2014-01-07 11:26:35 AM  

Eddie Adams from Torrance: Magorn:
well that at least looks to be not quite that bad:
"According to published reports an announcement is likely this week. JPMorgan Chase would pay about $2 billion in penalties related to Madoff and most of the money will go to his victims.  "

Maybe I'm a little cynical, but I can't help but think that most of the 'victims' in this case will turn out to be other banks and hedge fund managers.


That's the only reason Madoff was so harshly punished: he had the audacity to steal from other rich assholes.
 
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