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(ABC)   Profiles in cowardice: The Memoir of the CIA lawyer who could have stopped water-boarding and torture of terror suspects with the stroke of a pen, but chose not barbecue he might be blamed if something bad happened afterwards   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 101
    More: Dumbass, CIA, Secretary of State Colin Powell, cowardice, Donald Rumsfeld, John Rizzo  
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4834 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jan 2014 at 12:57 PM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-01-06 01:05:29 PM
14 votes:
To BBQ, or not to BBQ, that is the question-
Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The Waterboarding and Tortures of outrageous Fortune,
Or to take a Grill against a Sea of troubles,
And by opposing feed them? To feed, to hunger -
No more; and by a meal, to say we end
The Stomach-ache, and the thousand Natural sauces and spices
That Delicious Flesh is heir to? 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To feed, to eat,
To eat, perchance to Dream; Aye, there's the dry rub,
For in that post-Meal nap, what dreams may come,
When we have unbuckled off this mortal belt,
Must give us pause.
2014-01-06 11:01:57 AM
14 votes:
always preview before submitting, barbecue you could end up with a silly or nonsensical headline.
2014-01-06 01:05:04 PM
12 votes:
So he just let them go on grilling suspects without any kind of oversight?

Not to rib the guy, but baby, back in the day, you would do what needed to be done and shoulder the consequences. Sometimes you have to consider what might happen but brisket anyway. Sooner or later, someone will find the sauce of the leak, butt

Maillard may not matter in the end, if you did the right thing.
2014-01-06 10:52:11 AM
11 votes:
Choose not barbecue lest barbecue choose you
2014-01-06 10:47:14 AM
10 votes:
barbeque is always the right choice.
2014-01-06 10:47:25 AM
8 votes:
Horrifying.  Barbecue is awesome.
2014-01-06 01:15:43 PM
7 votes:
www.digitalmediatree.com
2014-01-06 11:12:23 AM
7 votes:
Do not ask for whom the grill smokes...
2014-01-06 11:00:56 AM
7 votes:
What a saucy tale
2014-01-06 01:16:14 PM
6 votes:
farm8.staticflickr.com
2014-01-06 01:03:39 PM
5 votes:
Ask not what your country can do for you.  Ask what barbecue for your country.
2014-01-06 01:03:35 PM
5 votes:
Someone is getting raked over the colas for this.
2014-01-06 12:59:23 PM
5 votes:
He chose not barbecue.

www.gardnercampbell.net
2014-01-06 12:58:20 PM
5 votes:
If we need to do it quickly can we just grill them?
2014-01-06 11:49:19 AM
5 votes:
"Barbacue or barbecue not. There is no try"
2014-01-06 03:25:03 PM
4 votes:
img.fark.net

I AM THE BBQer
2014-01-06 01:48:30 PM
4 votes:

DrBenway: In subby's defense, a radical Islamist might spill some beans to avoid eating pork ribs.


"Oh you perfidious infidel dog! If you dare force another rib, and maybe some of that brisket, on me it will be too much, and I'll talk." [wolfs down food] "No...I think I can hold out a big longer, Inshallah. But surely forcing some of that loin on me, and don't be skimpy with the sauce, will be the last straw!" [drools]
2014-01-06 01:23:44 PM
4 votes:
global3.memecdn.com
2014-01-06 01:09:42 PM
4 votes:
When grilling a suspect you think might have juicy information, it may be necessary to hit him on the back, ribs, or face. Smoking these details out may even require you to flay him. In the old days they'd use the rack, or tie someone to the stake. I don't see why people get so burned about torture. Spit your legalese at me if you must, although I find it rather dry. Rub the tears from your eyes and quit crying about it.
2014-01-06 01:09:40 PM
4 votes:

Prince George: How bad does one have to spell because to get it to spell-check and barbeque.


How bad does one have to spell as to get it to spell-check as and?.
2014-01-06 12:59:45 PM
4 votes:
Ask not what barbecue can do for you, rather ask what you can do for barbecue.
2014-01-06 11:02:38 AM
4 votes:
Barbecue reasons.
2014-01-06 01:33:29 PM
3 votes:
Autocorrect victims untie!
2014-01-06 01:28:14 PM
3 votes:

Just another Heartland Weirdass: Someone is getting raked over the colas for this.


RC what you did there.
2014-01-06 01:20:52 PM
3 votes:
Note to self: Stop submitting coherent headlines because gibberish altitude galoshes sandwich.
2014-01-06 01:18:05 PM
3 votes:
Did you hear about the new Barbecue divorce doll?  It comes with half of Kencue's stuff.
2014-01-06 01:10:22 PM
3 votes:
www.littlemonsterscomic.com
Approve
2014-01-06 01:06:32 PM
3 votes:
Principal barbecue sayof.
2014-01-06 01:06:18 PM
3 votes:
www.directoryone.com
THE HORROR
2014-01-06 01:05:18 PM
3 votes:

ariseatex: BBBQ. The extra B is for BYOBB.


It's still good!
It's still good!
2014-01-06 01:00:47 PM
3 votes:
Principal caught bulgogi?
2014-01-06 01:00:05 PM
3 votes:
What a waterboard for a barbecue might look like:

www.joesbbqs.com.au
2014-01-06 11:23:26 AM
3 votes:
ffs, barbecue and damn the consequences
2014-01-06 03:33:22 PM
2 votes:

Odoriferous Queef: Maud Dib: ArcadianRefugee: McGrits: Is this real barbecue where one cooks with indirect heat and smoke? Or is this the backyard party where people grill burgers and hotdogs?

Who cares? The real question is, which is the best style of barbecue? Texas? Carolina? Memphis? Kansas City?

It's perfectly clear.
Franklin BBQ, Austin, Texas, baby.
Best in the US.

Blacks in Lockheart Texas.


That's racist.
2014-01-06 02:27:26 PM
2 votes:

special20: You know, those Buddhist monks know how to do an awesome barbecue.


The extra ingredient is nothing.
2014-01-06 02:23:48 PM
2 votes:
Not-so-secret CIA barbeque technique:

Step 1: Go to Fark Politics tab, add post that reads "Enough with all the whining about torture. We tortured under Bush, we're torturing under Obama, everybody's cool with torture. What we truthfully don't like are tattletales like Assange and Snowden making our preferred political side look bad."

Step 2: Season to tastelessness with quotes from the Clintons, the Bushes, Benjamin Franklin, Rush Limbaugh, Hitler, George Lucas, John Stewart, more Hitler, Taylor Swift, a dash more Hitler, and so on. For added flavor, avoid the standard shopworn quotes and spice up the mix with more exotic, off-topic statements. If you're feeling especially creative, whip up your own fresh quotations and garnish with whatever attributions seem best.

Step 3: Allow to simmer for at least ten to twelve replies, then increase the derp and adjust the goalposts. Repeat as necessary until the thread reaches peak temperature.

Step 4: Stir in alt posts to thicken the sauce, then serve and enjoy as many sacred cows as you can roast.
2014-01-06 01:37:45 PM
2 votes:

Satanic_Hamster: I really don't understand right wingers.  They advocate using the powers of the government to force moral behaviors on US citizens, then say that the government is evil and can't do anything right, then they have no problem with the government torturing people and acting immorally if it MIGHT prevent a terrorist attack.


What the F*ck does this have to do with barbecue!?
2014-01-06 01:36:00 PM
2 votes:
abcnews.go.com

/ because BBQ
2014-01-06 01:21:48 PM
2 votes:
thesipadvisor.files.wordpress.com
2014-01-06 01:21:34 PM
2 votes:
If you choose not barbecue you still have made a choice.
2014-01-06 01:20:19 PM
2 votes:
First green light for meow?
2014-01-06 01:19:31 PM
2 votes:
I love this barbecue so much!
2014-01-06 01:18:30 PM
2 votes:

jshine: Has anyone noticed that there's a typo in the headline?


sounds like a vowel problem, mehh.
2014-01-06 01:18:26 PM
2 votes:
CIA BBQ sauce where all the ingredients are secret
2014-01-06 01:17:44 PM
2 votes:
The question we must ask is "Is our children barbecuing?"
2014-01-06 01:11:17 PM
2 votes:
Has anyone noticed that there's a typo in the headline?
2014-01-06 01:11:12 PM
2 votes:

BunkoSquad: To BBQ, or not to BBQ, that is the question-
Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The Waterboarding and Tortures of outrageous Fortune,
Or to take a Grill against a Sea of troubles,
And by opposing feed them? To feed, to hunger -
No more; and by a meal, to say we end
The Stomach-ache, and the thousand Natural sauces and spices
That Delicious Flesh is heir to? 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To feed, to eat,
To eat, perchance to Dream; Aye, there's the dry rub,
For in that post-Meal nap, what dreams may come,
When we have unbuckled off this mortal belt,
Must give us pause.


Winner winner
BBQ chicken dinner
2014-01-06 01:09:54 PM
2 votes:

Prince George: How bad does one have to spell because to get it to spell-check and barbeque.


Hi. My name is Magorn, if you've seen a misspelling in a headline in the past ten years or so, there's a better than even chance it was mine.   Finally getting a browser with spell check has not improved this situation as it also now has auto-correct and I'm still as lysdexic as ever
2014-01-06 01:06:23 PM
2 votes:
static.neatorama.com
Dude.
2014-01-06 01:02:39 PM
2 votes:
That bastard chose waterboarding over barbecue?!?  War crimes indeed!
2014-01-06 01:00:35 PM
2 votes:
This thread didn't stand a chance.
2014-01-06 01:00:15 PM
2 votes:

FlashHarry: always preview before submitting, barbecue you could end up with a silly or nonsensical headline.



There is nothing silly about barbecue.
2014-01-06 12:42:32 PM
2 votes:
Well, if you just smoke them, you'll never get any information out of them.
2014-01-06 11:42:04 AM
2 votes:
noebie.net
2014-01-06 11:04:33 AM
2 votes:

Nefarious: Choose not barbecue lest barbecue choose you


A nice version of "look not into the pit"
2014-01-06 10:59:27 AM
2 votes:
got-damn auto-correct
2014-01-06 05:36:52 PM
1 votes:

Wizzywig: I have seen GodJesus, and he is the non-English speaking, 50-year old Mexican who cooked that brisket at the Pecan Lodge.


FTFY.
2014-01-06 05:16:10 PM
1 votes:

whatsupchuck: Note to self: Stop submitting coherent headlines because gibberish altitude galoshes sandwich.


That got a legitimate LOL out of me. In other words, I barbequed it.
2014-01-06 04:00:34 PM
1 votes:
thoughtcatalog.files.wordpress.com

To be honest, I don't think I'd be brave enough to chose barbecue either.
2014-01-06 03:45:04 PM
1 votes:

belhade: whither_apophis: "Barbacue or barbecue not. There is no fry"

Fixy'd


Well done

(But not burnt)
2014-01-06 03:31:11 PM
1 votes:

jshine: Has anyone noticed that there's a typo in the headline?



No, watermelon is it?
2014-01-06 03:23:30 PM
1 votes:
Thanks a lot everyone, now I'm starving.

Off to Holy Smoke.
2014-01-06 03:01:33 PM
1 votes:
I just had to quit reading about a third of the way in barbeque it was just getting old.
2014-01-06 02:54:54 PM
1 votes:
I barbecued this headline with a better barbeque.
2014-01-06 02:32:06 PM
1 votes:
2014-01-06 01:58:05 PM
1 votes:

Prank Call of Cthulhu: DrBenway: In subby's defense, a radical Islamist might spill some beans to avoid eating pork ribs.

"Oh you perfidious infidel dog! If you dare force another rib, and maybe some of that brisket, on me it will be too much, and I'll talk." [wolfs down food] "No...I think I can hold out a big longer, Inshallah. But surely forcing some of that loin on me, and don't be skimpy with the sauce, will be the last straw!" [drools]


Indeed! That reminds me of the old joke about being sure to bring at least two Baptists fishing with you, because if you only bring one, they'll drink all your beer.
2014-01-06 01:47:33 PM
1 votes:

libranoelrose: Is this one of those easy tricks to spot lies on the internet?


No this is the one interrogation trick that housewives know that unlock the Biblical moneycode that will make you look 30 years younger.
2014-01-06 01:45:47 PM
1 votes:
I support giving prisoners the choice of water boarding or barbeque.
2014-01-06 01:35:53 PM
1 votes:
Give me one rib and I'll be happy 
Just, just to be with you 
Give me, give me, a chance to be near you 
Barbecue, barbecue I love you
2014-01-06 01:35:09 PM
1 votes:
Barbecue I could not stop for death
2014-01-06 01:35:04 PM
1 votes:

mekkab: ArcadianRefugee: McGrits: Is this real barbecue where one cooks with indirect heat and smoke? Or is this the backyard party where people grill burgers and hotdogs?

Who cares? The real question is, which is the best style of barbecue? Texas? Carolina? Memphis? Kansas City?

What about Jersey BBQ?

[localtvwqad.files.wordpress.com image 850x1138]


i2.cdn.turner.com
i.telegraph.co.uk
2014-01-06 01:32:33 PM
1 votes:

Kentucky Fried Children: [www.directoryone.com image 628x371]
THE HORROR


The babybacking of terrorist suspects, on the other hand...
2014-01-06 01:31:05 PM
1 votes:
I barbecue this thread so much.
2014-01-06 01:30:38 PM
1 votes:

netcentric: Lawyers are skanks, it doesn't matter how good they barbeque.


The Germans even tried gas and it still didn't help.
2014-01-06 01:28:30 PM
1 votes:
Blaming auto-correct for failure to proof read is barbecue.
2014-01-06 01:28:06 PM
1 votes:
Barbecue?
2014-01-06 01:27:49 PM
1 votes:
And i just started a low fat diet (Trying to lose BF%, not weight) and now I'm hungry!
/fu subby :(
2014-01-06 01:24:05 PM
1 votes:

whatsupchuck: Note to self: Stop submitting coherent headlines because gibberish altitude galoshes sandwich.


You rang?

It's beautiful headlines and threads like this that make the featured partners, paid links, and comments from whiny college types that have never held a job all worthwhile.
2014-01-06 01:20:31 PM
1 votes:

ArcadianRefugee: McGrits: Is this real barbecue where one cooks with indirect heat and smoke? Or is this the backyard party where people grill burgers and hotdogs?

Who cares? The real question is, which is the best style of barbecue? Texas? Carolina? Memphis? Kansas City?


What about Jersey BBQ?

localtvwqad.files.wordpress.com
2014-01-06 01:20:08 PM
1 votes:

Debeo Summa Credo: [www.littlemonsterscomic.com image 702x473]
Approve


Came for the barbecue, stayed for the jugband Christmas.
2014-01-06 01:18:11 PM
1 votes:
was subby hungry while writing this ?
were you trying to make us hungry while reading it?
so confused
so hungry
2014-01-06 01:17:56 PM
1 votes:
Today, a new meme was born.
2014-01-06 01:17:13 PM
1 votes:
This thread is golden,like a nice plump chicken turning on the spit.
2014-01-06 01:11:55 PM
1 votes:
Long pig barbecue?
2014-01-06 01:10:16 PM
1 votes:
as long as the grill lines look like a redacted cia memo...the barbecue is looking good.

/hate to be grilled for info by this guy
//their grill looks like a revolver and is called 'the smoking gun'
///other bbq related pun
2014-01-06 01:08:42 PM
1 votes:
Is this real barbecue where one cooks with indirect heat and smoke? Or is this the backyard party where people grill burgers and hotdogs?
2014-01-06 01:08:06 PM
1 votes:
Mmmmm, barbecued enhanced interrogation methods
2014-01-06 01:06:37 PM
1 votes:
As a huge fan of barbecue, I support subby's subliminal mistake.

/ What, nobody proofreads anymore?
// Ribs, wet or dry. Which is better?
2014-01-06 01:06:23 PM
1 votes:
How bad does one have to spell because to get it to spell-check and barbeque.
2014-01-06 01:04:55 PM
1 votes:
You know, those Buddhist monks know how to do an awesome barbecue.
2014-01-06 01:03:52 PM
1 votes:

DrBenway: Well, if you just smoke them, you'll never get any information out of them.


Yes, but they'll have a nice bark and be more delicious.
2014-01-06 01:03:44 PM
1 votes:
To be fair here guys, if you were going to get thrown onto a barbeque then you would probably give up some information.
2014-01-06 01:02:57 PM
1 votes:
epic! mods-please do not fix the headline.
2014-01-06 01:01:59 PM
1 votes:
BBBQ. The extra B is for BYOBB.
2014-01-06 01:00:36 PM
1 votes:
Here's the original headline in the case the parasites .. i mean "moderators" .. correct it:

"Profiles in cowardice: The Memoir of the CIA lawyer who could have stopped water-boarding and torture of terror suspects with the stroke of a pen, but chose not barbecue he might be blamed if something bad happened afterwards "
2014-01-06 12:59:51 PM
1 votes:
Don't get me wrong, barbecue is good, but what the hell does it have to do with any of this?
2014-01-06 12:59:28 PM
1 votes:
I'll have to agree - barbeque is delicious.
2014-01-06 12:59:23 PM
1 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: czetie: This is going to be awkward when the modmins correct the headline before greening it.

Well, I for one have certainly never let that stop me from looking foolish


And conversely, I have never needed their help...
2014-01-06 12:33:37 PM
1 votes:

czetie: This is going to be awkward when the modmins correct the headline before greening it.


Well, I for one have certainly never let that stop me from looking foolish
2014-01-06 12:16:56 PM
1 votes:
This is going to be awkward when the modmins correct the headline before greening it.
2014-01-06 11:22:06 AM
1 votes:
Its only barbecue if you use charcoal
 
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