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(The Register)   "I promise, with these artichokes the flavor will just explode across your taste buds"   (theregister.co.uk) divider line 32
    More: Scary, La Repubblica  
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8012 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jan 2014 at 11:11 AM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



32 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-01-06 10:38:02 AM  
Let's break this down:

An Italian woman

gamereviewwiki.com

was left shaken but otherwise unhurt by

31.media.tumblr.com

an exploding artichoke

The unnamed victim:


f0.pepst.com

bought some fresh artichokes from her local supermarket in Olginate,
 some 40km northeast of Milan.



i.nona.net


When she laid into one with a knife,

media.mwcradio.com

 it went bang.

lottamadness.com

Initially struck dumb by the shock

rlv.zcache.com

 the poor appealed to her husband and daughter for assistance

talesfromthelou.files.wordpress.com

 and when they saw the leaves were "damaged and burnt", they called in the cops.

www.fairhavenschool.com


ThANKS Re6i5TAR
 
2014-01-06 11:15:09 AM  
I read that headline in Elzar's voice...Bam!

/too much Futurama
 
2014-01-06 11:15:28 AM  
This story broke my heart so bad, I choked up.

/I had to dip myself in garlic butter
 
2014-01-06 11:16:03 AM  
themike, fun stealer and winner
 
2014-01-06 11:17:41 AM  

thamike: Let's break this down:

An Italian woman

..............


ThANKS Re6i5TAR


Classic.
 
2014-01-06 11:21:05 AM  
Finally, a good reason not to buy an overpriced, flavorless, pain-in-the-ass to prepare, overgrown thistle.
 
2014-01-06 11:23:51 AM  

mod3072: Finally, a good reason not to buy an overpriced, flavorless, pain-in-the-ass to prepare, overgrown thistle.


This(tle)!

If I want to eat artichoke hearts, I just buy some massive broccoli heads with stems as thick as thicky-stemmy things, cut off the stems, peel away the skin parts, and cook the stems. Delish.
 
2014-01-06 11:25:36 AM  
This is backlash for the rise in numbers of vegetarians and vegans.

Sonny Bono was a warning, but we didn't listen.
Michael Kennedy was a warning, but we still wouldn't listen.
"Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" wasn't just a campy film, it was a blueprint for an attack.

The plants are fighting back.
 
2014-01-06 11:28:05 AM  

mod3072: Finally, a good reason not to buy an overpriced, flavorless, pain-in-the-ass to prepare, overgrown thistle.


You shut your whore mouth. Artichokes are tasty.
 
2014-01-06 11:38:53 AM  

mod3072: Finally, a good reason not to buy an overpriced, flavorless, pain-in-the-ass to prepare, overgrown thistle.


Artichokes do have a subtle delicious flavor which may be unknowable in its pure form because they also contain Cynarine which "inhibits taste receptors, making water (and other foods and drinks) seem sweet."

upload.wikimedia.org
If fresh artichokes are beyond your abilities to prepare, or eat, or even taste, you can just buy some Cynar liquor which concentrates both the direct and indirect flavors, though more bitter.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-01-06 11:50:09 AM  

give me doughnuts: The plants are fighting back.


philzine.files.wordpress.com



"Not..like the wind.  No, we need to run faster than the wind, Katy Perry."



love.iprima.cz



"My name is Zooey.  Zooey Deschanel."



images.cinefacts.de



...



www.bestmovie.it



"Really?  Are you sure?"



cdn.mos.totalfilm.com



"Positive."



img.photobucket.com



"What a twist."

 
2014-01-06 11:56:17 AM  
 What is the Hillside Stranglers favorite vegetable?


Artie Chokes!!!
 
zez
2014-01-06 12:00:17 PM  
How do you cook an artichoke? The picture of the one in thamike's post looks tasty.
 
2014-01-06 12:01:28 PM  
I'm just going to go ahead and say "bullshiat", if that's ok with the rest of you.
 
2014-01-06 12:01:43 PM  
i265.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-06 12:08:37 PM  
inb4 the blind old bat cooked a grenade.
 
2014-01-06 12:09:46 PM  
Damn you Monsanto!
 
2014-01-06 12:15:27 PM  

HairBolus: mod3072: Finally, a good reason not to buy an overpriced, flavorless, pain-in-the-ass to prepare, overgrown thistle.

Artichokes do have a subtle delicious flavor which may be unknowable in its pure form because they also contain Cynarine which "inhibits taste receptors, making water (and other foods and drinks) seem sweet."

[upload.wikimedia.org image 200x119]
If fresh artichokes are beyond your abilities to prepare, or eat, or even taste, you can just buy some Cynar liquor which concentrates both the direct and indirect flavors, though more bitter.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 188x251]


That explains it. After work in NYC, I'd often stop at this Italian bar in Queens. They had bottles of artichoke liqueur behind the bar, which I found really puzzling.

I wonder if the stuff in artichokes is related at all to miraculin, the chemical in miracle fruits which causes tart flavors to taste sweet for several hours after consumption.
 
2014-01-06 12:25:28 PM  

buckler: miracle fruits


www.medpagetoday.com

/Yeah, I know. low-hanging miracle fruits...
 
2014-01-06 12:27:27 PM  

zez: How do you cook an artichoke? The picture of the one in thamike's post looks tasty.

steam for 45 minutes, cut top off, sprinkle with bread crumbs and butter, maybe garlic,  little bit of lemmon, back in oven until nice and toastie.



YUMSTERS!
 
2014-01-06 12:31:21 PM  
Not impressed.
threestooges.net
 
2014-01-06 12:31:59 PM  

mod3072: Finally, a good reason not to buy an overpriced, flavorless, pain-in-the-ass to prepare, overgrown thistle.


Step 1:  Put peppercorns, salt, half a lemon, a bay leaf, and two garlic cloves in a pot of water.
Step 2:  Boil water
Step 3:  Add artichoke
Step 4:  Wait 35 minutes
Step 5:  Eat with paprika in melted butter or balsamic vinegar mixed with mayonaise
 
2014-01-06 12:33:23 PM  

zez: How do you cook an artichoke? The picture of the one in thamike's post looks tasty.


Baking is one.  Here's a recipe that i have not used, but I trust the chef in question.

If you want to stuff the wedges with risotto, I think saffron would be a fine midway addition.
 
2014-01-06 12:53:56 PM  

zez: How do you cook an artichoke? The picture of the one in thamike's post looks tasty.


I'm surprised so many people don't know how to use reverse Google image search. I like this Greasemonkey Userscript: Google Search by Image for Firefox which puts reverse search into the right-click context menu when the mouse is over a picture.

lh4.googleusercontent.com

Clicking that on thamicke's artichoke picture instantly turns up the recipe:
http://delishytown.tumblr.com/post/18383382688/stuffed-artichokes-he re s-another-appetizer-i

The main part:
In a saute pan, cook 1 small chopped sweet onion, 1 minced shallot, and 3 minced garlic clovesin 1 tblsp olive oil on low heat until translucent. Let cool.Combine with 1 cup Panko bread crumbs, and 1/2 cup  whole-wheat breadcrumbs, 1/4 cup finely crumbled  feta cheese, 2 tblsp oil-packed  sun-dried tomatoes,chopped, 1/4 cup minced  fresh basil, 2 tblsp fresh chopped parsley, 1/2 tsp granulated  garlicsalt & freshly ground pepper, and the juice of 1/2 lemon. At this point you can taste, does it need salt, pepper or garlic powder? Season to your liking.
Now scramble an egg with 2 tblsp water and mix that in.
 
2014-01-06 01:09:25 PM  
 
2014-01-06 01:13:01 PM  
Artichoke:
doriegreenspan.com

Not an artichoke:
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-01-06 01:32:00 PM  
"Not an artichoke"

Of course not, that's a pineapple.
/nyuk
 
2014-01-06 03:14:53 PM  

thamike: zez: How do you cook an artichoke? The picture of the one in thamike's post looks tasty.

Baking is one.  Here's a recipe that i have not used, but I trust the chef in question.

If you want to stuff the wedges with risotto, I think saffron would be a fine midway addition.


My mother used to make stuffed artichokes, and for most of my life, I thought that was the only way they could be eaten. This recipe sounds pretty close to hers (this was one of her recipes I didn't get from her before she died), but I know my mother didn't put anchovies or lemon in the stuffing, just well-seasoned and herbed bread crumbs with raw eggs for a binder. Artichokes are a pain in the ass to prepare, especially when you are as careful as my mother was to get stuffing in every single leaf, but oh so yummy. When I was a kid, I refused to eat the artichoke heart, so my mom would relieve me of this "waste" lol. She knew what she was doing.
 
2014-01-06 05:22:58 PM  

mod3072: Finally, a good reason not to buy an overpriced, flavorless, pain-in-the-ass to prepare, overgrown thistle.


Farking tasteless heathen! I eat damn near the entire things.Soaked in hollandaise or olive oil. You've got to be pulling our chains if an artichoke is too hard to prepare. They're only slightly more difficult to cook than boiling water and making rice.

a chilling suicide-bombing Day of the Triffids scenario

Classic movie.
 
2014-01-06 07:00:22 PM  

relaxitsjustme: mod3072: Finally, a good reason not to buy an overpriced, flavorless, pain-in-the-ass to prepare, overgrown thistle.

You shut your whore mouth. Artichokes are tasty.


This!

/though I agree with him on the over-priced point
 
2014-01-06 07:06:27 PM  

mod3072: Finally, a good reason not to buy an overpriced, flavorless, pain-in-the-ass to prepare, overgrown thistle.


Cut down the center, use knife to scrape fur from heart, place halves in steamer heart side down for 25 seconds.

If it's out if season and slightly butter then dip leaves in either melted butter, olive oil, chipotle aioli, mayo or whatever floats your boat.

If it's a perfect artichoke at the peak of it's season, then no dips are necessary.
 
2014-01-06 09:35:10 PM  
"However, it appears a chemical reaction provoked by fertilisers may be the explanation, rather than a chilling suicide-bombing Day of the Triffids scenario."

I'm skeptical

www.thersa.org
 
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