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(CNN)   The official Atheist church just launched last year, but there's already a schism in the congregation. That religion of yours is getting complicated, guys   (religion.blogs.cnn.com) divider line 53
    More: Amusing, Pippa Evans, Cat Stevens, Godless Revival, central planning, live better, house band, East London  
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7842 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jan 2014 at 4:28 AM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-01-06 12:02:13 AM
6 votes:
Trilbies vs Fedoras?
2014-01-06 01:42:56 AM
4 votes:
Welcome to my Not Collecting Stamps club!  We don't collect stamps here, so let's get together and talk about not collecting stamps.
GBB
2014-01-06 05:43:32 AM
3 votes:

SpdrJay: Science dammit!


I study science.  That's why I joined up with the Scientologists.
2014-01-06 05:01:47 AM
3 votes:

drjekel_mrhyde: Any room for us Flat Earth Atheist?


Just slip 'em in under the door.
2014-01-06 04:48:50 AM
3 votes:

gameshowhost: hardinparamedic: simplicimus: hardinparamedic: simplicimus: gameshowhost: Welcome to my Not Collecting Stamps club!  We don't collect stamps here, so let's get together and talk about not collecting stamps.

I don't have a collection of commemorative stamps from the 70's to the present day.

That's a shame. I hear that NASA had some really nice stamps in the 1970s.

That was a funny read. "Additional verification needed". Like there's a USPS center on the moon to cancel the stamps.

If you want a series of good laughs, read up on the Apollo, Gemini and Mercury programs. Those guys got away with a LOT in those days.

: /

Guys, please stay on topic.


While drinking at a strip club with some Navy pilots wearing their flightsuits, (the strippers were swarming us) one of the boys pulled a penny from his pocket.  These girls were D-U-M-B dumb, and believed every word of BS about these dudes in clearly-marked Navy flightsuits being astronauts who brought the penny back from the Moon.  While not a stamp, that routine (complete with, "NO you can't give her the *MOON* penny, are you crazy???" and "but she's SPECIAL, I want her to have it!") got them perhaps more tang than real astronauts.  Quite the vaudeville act.
2014-01-06 04:36:06 AM
3 votes:
Either you're drinkin with me or you're drinkin against me.
2014-01-06 02:39:03 AM
3 votes:
martinbaena.files.wordpress.com
2014-01-06 01:47:11 AM
3 votes:

gameshowhost: Welcome to my Not Collecting Stamps club!  We don't collect stamps here, so let's get together and talk about not collecting stamps.


I don't have a collection of commemorative stamps from the 70's to the present day.
2014-01-06 12:49:52 AM
3 votes:
after a schism, a question: can atheist churches last?

Catholic
Baptist
Christian
Methodist / Wesleyan
Lutheran
Presbyterian
Protestant
Pentecostal/Charismatic
Episcopalian/Anglican
Mormon / Latter-Day Saints
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
Congregational/United Church of Christ
Jehovah's Witness
Assemblies of God
Evangelical
Church of God
Seventh-Day Adventist
Orthodox (Eastern)
Holiness/Holy
Church of the Nazarene
Disciples of Christ
Church of the Brethren
Mennonite
Reformed/Dutch Reform
Apostolic/New Apostolic
Quaker

Christian Science
Christian Reform
Independent Christian Church
Foursquare Gospel
Fundamentalist
Born Again
Salvation Army
2014-01-06 09:56:19 AM
2 votes:
Probably fighting over which god to not believe in.
2014-01-06 09:53:08 AM
2 votes:
i762.photobucket.com

"Oh, this should be good."
2014-01-06 05:24:33 AM
2 votes:

DubyaHater: You're one of those militant<...>


That's not how "militant" works.

When I meet an adult with unimpaired cognitive facilities who professes to believe in sky faeries I will call them out on it because it is hilarious and weirdly disturbing.

If my taunting them results in the sort of childish pique witnessed in adolescents discovering Santa Claus was a lie, well that's just funnier still...
2014-01-06 01:13:29 AM
2 votes:
I'm sorry, I can't comment on all of this. I am too consumed with the need to deliver a punch in the face to the guy in the photo.
2014-01-06 01:01:11 AM
2 votes:
Say what you want about the tenants of National Socialism, but at least it was an ethos.
2014-01-06 12:35:38 AM
2 votes:
IT'S HIS SURNAME! Jeez!
2014-01-06 12:16:29 AM
2 votes:
rule one of atheism: no vegans

no really
that was the first rule
well it is the first rule in my church of atheism


our three sacraments are:
sex
drugs
gambling
and meat

of four sacraments
2014-01-06 07:03:37 PM
1 votes:

gimmegimme: Wow, those are extreme strawmen.

I'm sorry.  Strawpyrsyns.


I'm sorry, you don't seem to know the definition of a strawman. Hint: When a citation is provided to their own words, it's not a strawman.

You also seem to be engaging in the Fallacist's Fallacy to dismiss an argument inconvenient to your world view.
2014-01-06 01:49:03 PM
1 votes:
s2s2s2:

Incorrect. Colloquialism and the changing nature of language have removed the notion of those things as religious. The word religion can accurately be applied to any binding or obligatory practice. If you do not like this,that is not my problem, but you are rejecting objective fact.

The fact that people get their panties in a twist over this fact is further proof that they revere their status as atheists, and therefore are religious.


Now you're just declaring things. Your criteria seems to be that everything  you say is a religion is a religion, while other things with indistinguishably similar properties  aren't religions.

It all sounds remarkably like bullshiat.

With regards to "binding or obligatory practice," that would mean that paying your taxes is a religion. In fact, anything with real negative consequences for noncompliance would be a religion. If a mugger pulls a gun on you and demands your wallet, giving wallets to muggers is a religion.
2014-01-06 01:37:29 PM
1 votes:

Egoy3k: ciberido: It was formed in the aftermath of Elevatorgate because there was a sense that too many vocal atheists were misogynistic, racist, or homophobic and that the "face" or "voice" of modern atheism was too white/male/heterosexual.

Not surprisingly, those atheists who weren't big fans of feminism to begin with don't much care for "Atheism+."

I'm a fan of feminism and I think that 'elevatorgate' is the stupidest thing ever. As such I'm not a huge fan of Atheism+ but that doesn't mean I hate women.

/The misogynist backlash for 'elevatorgate' was shameful but that doesn't mean that  the actual incident wasn't stupid and pretty harmless.


"Elevatorgate"  was the backlash. More specifically, it was the insistence by prominent atheist figures that the misogynist backlash the woman received for speaking out was not really misogynist, or at least not as bad as religious misogyny so she needed to get over it.

The incident in which Rebecca Watson was propositioned by a man in an elevator prompted an initial comment from her which amounted to "don't do that, it's creepy".  If it had stopped there, there would be no controversy.
2014-01-06 01:00:40 PM
1 votes:

s2s2s2: Epicedion: You're equivocating the literal and metaphorical meanings of the word "deity" here. When you say the more common "his god is money" you don't literally mean that the person worships money as a literal god. What you mean is that the person holds money in as high regard as someone would a god.

Addressing your other points, the Sierra Club gathers, organizes, and proselytizes. So does your local union. Or HOA. None of these are religions.

I know I am equivocating, because the only real difference is in interpretation. If I believe that a relationship with god is of utmost importance, and there is no god, it's not actually different than believing I can save the world from catastrophic climate change.

Religion is practice. Religion is not belief. I believe in some sort of higher intelligence to the universe(kinda like what Einstein said), but I am not at all religious.


The practice of religion is tied to the beliefs of the members. If there doesn't have to be a god in the religion, then there's really nothing separating the meanings of "religion" and "club."

The same sense applies when you use the word "cult" instead of "religion" -- if you call both the Suicide Pact of the Holy Comet and Christianity "cults" you're really watering down what it means to be a "cult."

But this is all largely pedantic. If religion's only response to atheist get-togethers is to say "but but but that makes you a church and so atheism is just a religion too!" it doesn't speak highly of what the religious think of religion, as if it's some standard to be lowered to.
2014-01-06 12:29:40 PM
1 votes:

ciberido: log_jammin: mamoru: How so? And, I really do mean that as an honest question. I'm just an (apathetic agnostic) atheist, so don't really know much about all of these "official" factions and movements and such. What are the atheism+ people and what makes them assholes?

long story short, you're either with them or you're a misogynist.

As opposed to say, the New Atheists, where you're either with them or you're a drooling moron.


How else would you describe people who believe everything in the Bible really happened?
2014-01-06 12:10:35 PM
1 votes:

namatad: rule one of atheism: no vegans

no really
that was the first rule
well it is the first rule in my church of atheism


our three sacraments are:
sex
drugs
gambling
and meat

of four sacraments


I didn't expect a sort of Atheist Inquisition.
2014-01-06 12:10:32 PM
1 votes:

s2s2s2: gimmegimme: s2s2s2: gimmegimme: colon_pow: isn't that just darling?  the hipsters want to play church just like the gays want to play house.

[religionpoisons.files.wordpress.com image 450x266]

Nothing better to dissuade the religious than quotes from fictional figures.

[www.atheistmemebase.com image 545x380]

Do you think that's a counterpoint?


Geez...I guess you're right.  Religious people really don't like quotes from fictional figures.
2014-01-06 10:52:54 AM
1 votes:

whatshisname: SPLITTERS!!!


fc09.deviantart.net
2014-01-06 09:35:11 AM
1 votes:

OhioKnight: The guy who started this should just go to his local UU church.  Unitarianism Universalism has no prescribed supernatural beliefs and contains some huge percentage of Atheists.

"Our mother or father, who may or may not be in heaven..."


How do you know you've pissed off some Unitarians?

You find a question mark burning on your lawn.
2014-01-06 09:01:22 AM
1 votes:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Saying that atheism is a religion is an insult to religions.


Not to mention male pattern baldness and stamp collecting.
2014-01-06 08:58:47 AM
1 votes:
I love how big a deal it is when a tiny percentage of atheists decide to organize a church-like meeting.

They can do what they want ... they do not represent all atheists. We are not an organization. We do not have any rules, guidelines, leaders, etc.

It is likely made up of people who likely miss the meeting/social part of religion but don't miss the fairy-tales. Who cares?
2014-01-06 07:57:42 AM
1 votes:

Felgraf: With or without religion, good people can behave well and bad people can do evil; but for good people to do evil - that takes religion.


Yes the literal interpretation of that suggesta that all evil acts done by good people are the result of religion.  Then again only a moron would take it that way.
2014-01-06 07:48:34 AM
1 votes:
Atheist organizations and "churches" giving the rest of us a bad rep.
i1036.photobucket.com
/You're not helping
//where's my trilby
2014-01-06 07:47:46 AM
1 votes:

Felgraf: So. Uh. Yes. I have heard people say that


Are you saying that bad is equal to evil? Because the quote you quoted, and as it's often quoted and/or paraphrased says it takes religion for good people to do evil.

If your dog poops on the floor, do you say "Evil dog! Evil evil dog!"?
2014-01-06 07:44:03 AM
1 votes:

namatad: rational thought is not a religion, nor brain washing


Hey, just because you're an atheist doesn't mean you're rational. See: Ayn Rand.
2014-01-06 06:38:51 AM
1 votes:
Would it be easier for people to believe we are organic robots settled here eons ago by the aliens that brought us here to create the pyramids?

That would be a kick-ass religion!  I give you the beginning of Robotalienism.  The headgear alone has some amazing promise I think.
2014-01-06 06:34:45 AM
1 votes:

Prophet of Loss: But you do believe in something jackass, you believe that the universe, life, and everything is a accident.

Others believe differently.


This is relevant how? Also, if you're referencing the atheists who discount the biblical farce of creation, you probably aren't processing that whole scientific method thing correctly and would likely need to go develop your own conclusions based on personal research and reflection..

I get that theists prefer to have someone tell them what to believe, but you really should think about engaging your critical faculties... 

Just because you believe in sentient purple spigots invading Saturn doesn't make it true.
2014-01-06 06:32:51 AM
1 votes:
Atheist church has got the be the dumbest thing I've ever heard of.  As one of our famous prophets said "The best part of being an atheist is it takes so little of your time".
2014-01-06 06:29:56 AM
1 votes:
"Compassionate Conservatism"
"Moral Majority"
"Random Order"
"Fresh Frozen"
"Recorded Live"
"Military Intelligence"
"Religious Education"
"Government Integrity"
"Atheist Church"
2014-01-06 06:27:02 AM
1 votes:
i232.photobucket.com
2014-01-06 06:20:23 AM
1 votes:

Prophet of Loss: Quantum physics disagrees with you.



imgs.xkcd.com
2014-01-06 06:18:32 AM
1 votes:

Prophet of Loss: But you do believe in something jackass, you believe that the universe, life, and everything is a accident.


You do realize that atheism is generally about  not anthropomorphising statistical and natural forces, right?  And that something being an "accident" requires that one anthropomorphize statistical and natural forces?

I'm actually rooting for trolling here because if you're actually mouthing off so loudly with a declaration that is essentially "hey, look at how stupid I am over here and how I fail to understand the basic definitions of words and shiat" then I'm going to actually have to feel kind of sad for how terrible you are and how much your mental deficiencies must make your life suck.
2014-01-06 05:54:31 AM
1 votes:

DerAppie: //Buy my book


Na-ah. Buy *my* book. Easier read, faux beaver cover and it has a laugh-track.
2014-01-06 05:49:48 AM
1 votes:

cassapolis: Does anyone else ever feel like they're the only person that actually RTFA? I only read the first 20 or so comments. The collective I.Q. here is plummeting. I haz a sad now


I left my pills for that in another thread.
2014-01-06 05:49:21 AM
1 votes:

LonMead: omeganuepsilon:  It's not like it's convoluted, "There are a lot of people who believe in a lot of silly things. I hope you don't fall in line with that." is hardly indoctrination.  You sort of need a doctrine to do that.

Such as Atheism.


Responding to someone calling you "silly" by demonstrating that you don't understand the difference between someone pointing out that your extraordinary claim has no proof and them making an extraordinary claim themselves... isn't really a counter-argument so much as pointing out that they should have gone with "stupid" instead of "silly".
2014-01-06 05:47:22 AM
1 votes:

Prophet of Loss: In before "Atheism is not a religion".

/quacks like a duck



Not believing in anything is a belief! You're a superstar amongst geniuses.

/quarks, Einstein
2014-01-06 05:05:45 AM
1 votes:
What a bunch of fruitcakes.

i.imgur.com
2014-01-06 04:51:45 AM
1 votes:
Any room for us Flat Earth Atheist?
2014-01-06 04:46:50 AM
1 votes:
So, we're gonna wind up with the Atheist Church, the Reformed Atheist Church, The Free-Will Atheists, the Mission Atheists, the Southern Atheists, the Seventh Day Atheists, Greek Orthodox Atheists, the First Church of Atheism-Scientist, the Atheist Witnesses, the Church of Jesus Martinez of Latter-Day Atheist, and Episcopalians. Where will it all end?

It's getting so you can't believe in God in peace around here anymore.

At least Atheists finally got a song.
2014-01-06 04:44:00 AM
1 votes:
I like the word schism and I like the word crampon and I like Elizabeth II Regina.
2014-01-06 04:43:58 AM
1 votes:
After a schism, a question: Can atheist churches last?

Headline in the form of a question, so the answer is as always the exact opposite of what is being implied, e.g. in this case atheist churches can, in fact, last.

On a more serious and less meme-y note, there are already plenty of atheist social clubs based around community-building, arbitrarily fabricated ritual, and tongue-in-cheek references to theist religions.  And some of the freemason lodges are going on two or three centuries old now... so, historically, the answer is also yes.

IronTom: If they believe in nothing, how can there be a schism?

Did they divide by zero?


"Atheist" is an adjective describing an organisation or philosophy, not a noun naming a specific philosophy in itself.

There are plenty of atheist organizations and philosophies around, 99% of logic-based philosophy is by definition atheist (including, interestingly, most religious philosophy, since the entire point there is to prove that the morality of x religion is a basic law of the universe whether you believe in that religion or not).  Several  religions, interestingly, are even atheist, and not just the entertaining modern ones like the Jedi or the Subgenius guys... Taoism, a religion four centuries older than Christianity, has a number of schools that are atheist.

So, no, atheists don't "believe in nothing" necessarily, they just believe in a set of things that don't include a god or gods.  Which, in complete and utter honesty as an atheist myself, I have to admit frequently still includes frivolous bullshiat of both the supernatural and pseudoscientific variety.  Social darwinism, telepathy, animism, homeopathy, etc... plenty of atheists in the ranks of the followers of all sorts of dumbass woo.
2014-01-06 04:35:47 AM
1 votes:

hardinparamedic: "And from the crew of Apollo 8, we close with good night, good luck, a Merry Christmas - and God bless all of you, all of you on the good Earth."


Pfft, typical GE bigotry.. Just because Bad Earth eats kitten-heart cake for breakfast doesn't mean we don't exist, you know...
2014-01-06 04:32:37 AM
1 votes:

hardinparamedic: Say what you want about the tenants of National Socialism, but at least it was an ethos.


The tenants of National Socialism couldn't afford the high rent.
2014-01-06 02:45:20 AM
1 votes:

gameshowhost: Welcome to my Not Collecting Stamps club!  We don't collect stamps here, so let's get together and talk about not collecting stamps.


I'm bald. Are you bald? Let's get together and talk about hair color.
2014-01-06 02:44:33 AM
1 votes:

gameshowhost: hardinparamedic: simplicimus: hardinparamedic: simplicimus: gameshowhost: Welcome to my Not Collecting Stamps club!  We don't collect stamps here, so let's get together and talk about not collecting stamps.

I don't have a collection of commemorative stamps from the 70's to the present day.

That's a shame. I hear that NASA had some really nice stamps in the 1970s.

That was a funny read. "Additional verification needed". Like there's a USPS center on the moon to cancel the stamps.

If you want a series of good laughs, read up on the Apollo, Gemini and Mercury programs. Those guys got away with a LOT in those days.

: /

Guys, please stay on topic.


24.media.tumblr.com

Hey, it is on topic. The crew of Apollo 8 were very religious.

They also weren't dicks.

upload.wikimedia.org

"And from the crew of Apollo 8, we close with good night, good luck, a Merry Christmas - and God bless all of you, all of you on the good Earth."
2014-01-06 02:22:07 AM
1 votes:

Confabulat: I'm going to go ahead and point out that's the joke.


WOOOOSH!

I'm gonna just go crawl into a hole now and hide for a bit.
2014-01-06 12:13:32 AM
1 votes:
Oh God.
 
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