While it sounds like a lot of fun, the myth of the Masturbation For Hire gig
isn't true. That story is totally busted.
Marcintosh: Dahnkster: Georgia woman, 37, on page #3 was nabbed on a masturbation for hire charge. Which likely explains the bathrobe ...See, I don't get this. I was talking to a co-worker one night about the pure, simple pleasure that a good jerk-off brings. Thousands of care-free knuckle orphans cast off into the world like a wet poodle shaking moisture along the length of its back to the tip of its poofy tail . Now I'm not talking about a rubbing out a quick one while looking at lesbian tickle porn, I'm talking about a good chicken chokin'... like when your wife is visiting her sister and and you can get out that high-dollar greasy nut butter lube that smells like an Asian school girls puckerhole and stings the skin like that first and only time when you thought it might be a good idea to splash a few drops of the old man's Old Spice aftershave on your pecker before you took Betty Lou to the school dance.Do you know what I am saying? I'm talking about pulling your pud with the gusto of a young boy whose mother has just left the house to go shopping and will be gone for hours. One of those pole polishings where you strip completely buck-ass naked, get the Penthouse magazines out of the closet and slowly hone the bone till you come to that crumpled up sticky page with the blue-eyed redhead (you know, the soft-focused one with the pouty lips and the giant tits who is sucking on the finger of her left hand as she slides two glistening fingers of her right hand between her perfectly shaven honeypot). You're thinking about her cooing to you as you hold your sausage hostage as you attempt to avoid climaxing too soon. Your breathing REALLY hard and you're thinking to yourself, "Damn, this one is gonna rub off some skin and will sting like a motherfarker over the next couple of days of gherkin jerkin."Oh sure, none of you never buttered corn with a fuzzy sock or flogged the bishop with a powder puff you kept hidden under the bed or in the back of your un ...Waxing poetic today I see . . .
fusillade762: [i.cdn.turner.com image 600x600]Why even bother? Seriously.
OtherLittleGuy: sjcousins:[img.fark.net image 550x688]Wait what's wrong with this one?Failure to appear bathed in my room.
MaudlinMutantMollusk: ultraholland: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Arrested for masturbation for hire.Holy shiat, you can get paid for that? This whole time I've been doing it pro boner.I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody...
DrBenway: "Masturbation for hire"? I'm RICH!
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