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(RealClear)   What's worse than crashing your plane in Aspen and killing your co-pilot? Doing it in front of LeAnn Rimes and Kevin Nealon   (realclear.com) divider line 83
    More: Sad, Aspen, Kevin Nealon, LeAnn Rimes, wind gust  
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10750 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jan 2014 at 10:43 PM (42 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



83 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-05 08:42:13 PM  
On the bright side, somebody (NTSB) is finally going to read one of my aircraft configuration/maintenance manuals.
 
2014-01-05 08:45:58 PM  
Aspen, where the town vs. gown can get all shooty.
 
2014-01-05 08:50:23 PM  
I hope when I go in a fiery ball of death it's some A-list celeb who witnesses it and decides to drive back to L.A. instead.  George Clooney, maybe, he seems like a decent guy.
 
2014-01-05 09:18:46 PM  
I'm confused. Why am I supposed to care that a couple of B-list celebrities saw it? Heck, this is Aspen -- you can barely crash a plane there without landing on top of a couple of B-listers.
 
2014-01-05 09:27:00 PM  
Where? I'll tell you where. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Aspen.
 
2014-01-05 09:43:29 PM  
The official said the passengers aboard were three Mexican men. He declined to release their names, citing security reasons.

It appears Obama's plan to use Mexican nationals to confiscate our guns has hit its first hitch...
 
2014-01-05 09:44:35 PM  

czetie: I'm confused. Why am I supposed to care that a couple of B-list celebrities saw it? Heck, this is Aspen -- you can barely crash a plane there without landing on top of a couple of B-listers.


Well what do you expect? It's after New Year's, the A-listers have all left.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-01-05 10:47:05 PM  
that's news to me.
 
2014-01-05 10:51:12 PM  
After Leann saw that crash, how did she ever ever survive? How did she how did she how did she live?
 
2014-01-05 10:52:58 PM  

Peaceboy: I hope when I go in a fiery ball of death it's some A-list celeb who witnesses it and decides to drive back to L.A. instead.  George Clooney, maybe, he seems like a decent guy.


With my luck, it'd be someone more along the lines of Miley Cyrus or one of the Kardashians.
 
2014-01-05 10:53:20 PM  
I don't know, Lloyd...  the French are assholes.
 
2014-01-05 10:54:32 PM  
That plane used to belong to Vince McMahon
 
2014-01-05 10:54:37 PM  
That's the ticket.

/Fark get your game on
 
2014-01-05 10:57:51 PM  
I'll just leave this here:

content.hollywire.com
 
2014-01-05 10:59:07 PM  

jmr61: I'll just leave this here:


That's a lot of airbrushing. Most pictures nowadays, she looks like a mutant.
 
2014-01-05 10:59:40 PM  
My Plymouth Aspen popped the hood when I slammed on the brakes.
 
2014-01-05 11:00:05 PM  
Wow, that pilot sure must be red in the face!
 
2014-01-05 11:00:58 PM  

Strongbeerrules: My Plymouth Aspen popped the hood when I slammed on the brakes.


Sounds like a convenience feature.
 
2014-01-05 11:01:30 PM  
I guess Kevin Nealon was whelmed.
 
2014-01-05 11:01:38 PM  
omg that would be so embarrassing!
 
2014-01-05 11:02:46 PM  

JohnAnnArbor: Strongbeerrules: My Plymouth Aspen popped the hood when I slammed on the brakes.

Sounds like a convenience feature.



Ha!
 
2014-01-05 11:06:10 PM  
Then how about Tanya Tucker and Colin Quinn?
 
2014-01-05 11:06:49 PM  

Prey4reign: Peaceboy: I hope when I go in a fiery ball of death it's some A-list celeb who witnesses it and decides to drive back to L.A. instead.  George Clooney, maybe, he seems like a decent guy.

With my luck, it'd be someone more along the lines of Miley Cyrus or one of the Kardashians.


In that case, I'd hope your pilot would have better aim.
 
2014-01-05 11:10:32 PM  
Feel the flow, feel it. It's circular. Its like a carousel-- you pay the quarter, you get on the plane. It goes up and down and around, hits the tarmac, explodes...
 
2014-01-05 11:10:45 PM  
Finally, Kevin Nealon is relevant again.
 
2014-01-05 11:10:54 PM  
I once farted outside of Buckingham Palace. I don't think the Queen noticed but I was still embarrassed. I know how these folks feel.
 
2014-01-05 11:15:38 PM  
Wow, there must be a shiat-load of multi-platinum selling artists on fark to call her B-List
 
2014-01-05 11:16:26 PM  

Strongbeerrules: My Plymouth Aspen popped the hood when I slammed on the brakes.


Check engine. See if it is still in place.
 
2014-01-05 11:16:43 PM  
Kevin Nealon is alive?
 
2014-01-05 11:17:32 PM  

dewright_ca: Wow, there must be a shiat-load of multi-platinum selling artists on fark to call her B-List


lol now we know LeAnn's Fark account.
 
2014-01-05 11:17:43 PM  
The last words uttered by the pilot were "Hey, look down there, Kevin Nealon and Leanne Rimes."
 
2014-01-05 11:17:45 PM  

dewright_ca: Wow, there must be a shiat-load of multi-platinum selling artists on fark to call her B-List


I'll have you know my last album went aluminum.
 
2014-01-05 11:18:17 PM  
I think I know why Kwvin Nealon picked this weekend to vacation in Colorado.
 
2014-01-05 11:19:30 PM  
The last time I crashed a plane it was featured on "World's Dumbest" and I've had to live through Tanya Harding making fun of me and my piloting abilities.

Now that's just heartbreaking, having Tanya f*cking Harding taking cheap shots at you.

*sigh*
 
2014-01-05 11:20:23 PM  

Danger Avoid Death: Prey4reign: Peaceboy: I hope when I go in a fiery ball of death it's some A-list celeb who witnesses it and decides to drive back to L.A. instead.  George Clooney, maybe, he seems like a decent guy.

With my luck, it'd be someone more along the lines of Miley Cyrus or one of the Kardashians.

In that case, I'd hope your pilot would have better aim.


Thank you for making the last minute of my reading time worthwhile.
 
2014-01-05 11:22:27 PM  

megarian: dewright_ca: Wow, there must be a shiat-load of multi-platinum selling artists on fark to call her B-List

lol now we know LeAnn's Fark account.


No, not even a huge fan of hers... a few songs are good... just the snark is strong in the studmen tonight
 
2014-01-05 11:23:05 PM  

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: Kevin Nealon is alive?


Lee-Ann Rimes is alive?
 
2014-01-05 11:24:25 PM  
I have no idea who either of those people are, but apparently they're important.
 
2014-01-05 11:24:44 PM  
It was just like the Superdome......just like the Superdooooooome.
 
2014-01-05 11:24:47 PM  

dewright_ca: megarian: dewright_ca: Wow, there must be a shiat-load of multi-platinum selling artists on fark to call her B-List

lol now we know LeAnn's Fark account.

No, not even a huge fan of hers... a few songs are good... just the snark is strong in the studmen tonight


If you love her so much, why don't you marry her?
 
2014-01-05 11:25:30 PM  

foo monkey: I think I know why Kwvin Nealon picked this weekend to vacation in Colorado.

lol
 
2014-01-05 11:25:34 PM  

baconbeard: dewright_ca: megarian: dewright_ca: Wow, there must be a shiat-load of multi-platinum selling artists on fark to call her B-List

lol now we know LeAnn's Fark account.

No, not even a huge fan of hers... a few songs are good... just the snark is strong in the studmen tonight

If you love her so much, why don't you marry her?


Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh SNAP!
 
2014-01-05 11:26:02 PM  

farkingismybusiness: Where? I'll tell you where. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Aspen.


Unless you're an old person. Then you go to Miami.
 
2014-01-05 11:26:18 PM  
How can Kevin Nealon afford Aspen?
 
2014-01-05 11:28:57 PM  

theflatline: How can Kevin Nealon afford Aspen?


They give the seasonal workers three hots and a cot.
 
2014-01-05 11:29:00 PM  
drug runners
 
2014-01-05 11:29:01 PM  

theflatline: How can Kevin Nealon afford Aspen?


He has "pictures" of Dana Carvey.
 
2014-01-05 11:31:32 PM  

dewright_ca: megarian: dewright_ca: Wow, there must be a shiat-load of multi-platinum selling artists on fark to call her B-List

lol now we know LeAnn's Fark account.

No, not even a huge fan of hers... a few songs are good... just the snark is strong in the studmen tonight


I have never been able to see what color eyes she has. I'm sorry, but she is the very definition off ass-face. Even worse when she's underweight.
 
2014-01-05 11:37:27 PM  

baconbeard: dewright_ca: megarian: dewright_ca: Wow, there must be a shiat-load of multi-platinum selling artists on fark to call her B-List

lol now we know LeAnn's Fark account.

No, not even a huge fan of hers... a few songs are good... just the snark is strong in the studmen tonight

If you love her so much, why don't you marry her?


go for it
if you can stand the crazy and narcissium
also she loves teh buttzekz
it's a factoid
 
2014-01-05 11:40:00 PM  
baconbeard: dewright_ca: megarian: dewright_ca: Wow, there must be a shiat-load of multi-platinum selling artists on fark to call her B-List

lol now we know LeAnn's Fark account.

No, not even a huge fan of hers... a few songs are good... just the snark is strong in the studmen tonight

If you love her so much, why don't you marry her?


IN THE FACE!!
 
2014-01-05 11:48:12 PM  
Kevin was funny in "Weeds".That is all.
 
2014-01-05 11:50:57 PM  
Why is this thread so weird?
 
2014-01-05 11:53:57 PM  

czetie: I'm confused. Why am I supposed to care that a couple of B-list celebrities saw it? Heck, this is Aspen -- you can barely crash a plane there without landing on top of a couple of B-listers.


Yeah... Why is this worse?
 
2014-01-05 11:55:30 PM  
Kevin Nealon and LeAnn Rimes are together?
 
2014-01-05 11:56:11 PM  

Peaceboy: I hope when I go in a fiery ball of death it's some A-list celeb who witnesses it and decides to drive back to L.A. instead.  George Clooney, maybe, he seems like a decent guy.


This is Kevin Nealon we're talking about. Not Joe Don Baker, not Robin Givens - Kevin goddamn Nealon. He did Weekend Update on SNL 15 or 20 years ago, man! They don't just put any jackass in that slot. If he's not an A-list celebrity, then I don't know who is. George Clowney? biatch, please - don't make me laugh.
 
2014-01-06 12:00:13 AM  

EdNortonsTwin: Why is this thread so weird?


Welcome to Fark?
 
2014-01-06 12:02:17 AM  

baconbeard: dewright_ca: megarian: dewright_ca: Wow, there must be a shiat-load of multi-platinum selling artists on fark to call her B-List

lol now we know LeAnn's Fark account.

No, not even a huge fan of hers... a few songs are good... just the snark is strong in the studmen tonight

If you love her so much, why don't you marry her?

Because I won't let you! That's why!!!
m.digitaltrends.com
 
2014-01-06 12:03:15 AM  
Who the fark cares that there were celebrities there? Lots of things are worse;

* crashing in front of family members (yours or the passengers)
* crashing because you were banging your co-pilot, all of which was recorded on the black box*


* Years ago -- and I wish I could find a link -- there was a crash of a plane in which, black-box-recorded, the pilot and co-pilot were apparently chatting up a stewardess and joking about how they needed to do something to make the black box recording interesting if they crashed. They crashed moments after take-off.

/*WOOP WOOP* PULL UP! *WOOP WOOP* PULL UP!
//{end recording}
 
2014-01-06 12:07:37 AM  
That's the closest celebrity near miss since Clint Eastwood was involved in a massive train wreck.

abcnews.go.com
 
2014-01-06 12:09:09 AM  
Thats a pretty terrible thing to see, B lister or.whatever. Especially knowing that la raza who crashed were the most likely to clean up after it and make those two un poquito comida.
 
2014-01-06 12:14:02 AM  
One: this all sounds like the introduction to a joke. "A comedian, a country singer, and a bureaucrat witness a plane crash...".

Tow: both Rimes and Nealon wrote, "Horrible plane crash". Well, no shiat. How many "god-damned funny" airplane crashes have their been, you farking twats?
 
2014-01-06 12:18:54 AM  

Bathysphere: dewright_ca: megarian: dewright_ca: Wow, there must be a shiat-load of multi-platinum selling artists on fark to call her B-List

lol now we know LeAnn's Fark account.

No, not even a huge fan of hers... a few songs are good... just the snark is strong in the studmen tonight

I have never been able to see what color eyes she has. I'm sorry, but she is the very definition off ass-face. Even worse when she's underweight.


I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers.
 
2014-01-06 12:27:42 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: Who the fark cares that there were celebrities there? Lots of things are worse;

* crashing in front of family members (yours or the passengers)
* crashing because you were banging your co-pilot, all of which was recorded on the black box*


* Years ago -- and I wish I could find a link -- there was a crash of a plane in which, black-box-recorded, the pilot and co-pilot were apparently chatting up a stewardess and joking about how they needed to do something to make the black box recording interesting if they crashed. They crashed moments after take-off.

/*WOOP WOOP* PULL UP! *WOOP WOOP* PULL UP!
//{end recording}


Here you go.  One of the external links is to the audio.
 
2014-01-06 02:32:16 AM  

JohnAnnArbor: ArcadianRefugee: Who the fark cares that there were celebrities there? Lots of things are worse;

* crashing in front of family members (yours or the passengers)
* crashing because you were banging your co-pilot, all of which was recorded on the black box*


* Years ago -- and I wish I could find a link -- there was a crash of a plane in which, black-box-recorded, the pilot and co-pilot were apparently chatting up a stewardess and joking about how they needed to do something to make the black box recording interesting if they crashed. They crashed moments after take-off.

/*WOOP WOOP* PULL UP! *WOOP WOOP* PULL UP!
//{end recording}

Here you go.  One of the external links is to the audio.


Yes! I think that's the one. I could have sworn the one I'd heard included the alarm (*WOOP WOOP* PULL UP!) sounding, though. Either way, same thing.

The unfortunate airline equivalent of "Hey, y'all, watch this!"
 
2014-01-06 02:35:25 AM  
Aside: am I the only one who thinks of Red Dwarf when reading this article/headline? http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1322580/Aircraft-crashes-croc o dile-escapes-killing-British-pilot-19-others.html
 
2014-01-06 02:39:11 AM  

Wake Up Sheeple: Kevin Nealon and LeAnn Rimes are together?


Hey, what happens in Aspen, stays in Aspen.
 
2014-01-06 03:08:40 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: Wake Up Sheeple: Kevin Nealon and LeAnn Rimes are together?

Hey, what happens in Aspen, stays in Aspen.


Hey LeAnn, you want to get a drink sex? Just a casual sex thing.
 
2014-01-06 04:49:10 AM  
If you don't like being incinerated in a giant fireball, take the bus.
 
2014-01-06 07:15:17 AM  
Would have been more relevant if those celebrities had seen you in the 90's
 
2014-01-06 07:42:58 AM  
This is one of the more bizarre threads ive read in a while.

I think it is all the obscure quotes. Well, the dumb and dumber quotes aren't obscure.
 
2014-01-06 08:15:34 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: * Years ago -- and I wish I could find a link -- there was a crash of a plane in which, black-box-recorded, the pilot and co-pilot were apparently chatting up a stewardess and joking about how they needed to do something to make the black box recording interesting if they crashed. They crashed moments after take-off.


You're welcome.
 
2014-01-06 08:16:10 AM  
Oops.  I should really read the whole thread before posting.
 
2014-01-06 08:20:49 AM  

baconbeard: theflatline: How can Kevin Nealon afford Aspen?

He has "pictures" of Dana Carvey.


How can Dana Carvey afford Aspen?

Also, why no mention of the 47 other people running away from the crash that were on board?  Obviously, those three were the only ones incapable of running.
 
2014-01-06 09:04:00 AM  

Anayalator: Feel the flow, feel it. It's circular. Its like a carousel-- you pay the quarter, you get on the plane. It goes up and down and around, hits the tarmac, explodes...


Curse you and your faster commenting skills!
 
2014-01-06 09:13:43 AM  

lack of warmth: Also, why no mention of the 47 other people running away from the crash that were on board?  Obviously, those three were the only ones incapable of running.


Not sure if serious.  You do realize there were only three people on board, right?  That plane can't carry more than around 20 passengers anyway, and that's in the non-luxo interior configuration.  Flying into Aspen, it was probably one of the fancier interiors, with even lower capacity.
 
2014-01-06 09:27:39 AM  

JohnAnnArbor: jmr61: I'll just leave this here:

That's a lot of airbrushing. Most pictures nowadays, she looks like a mutant.


Well I'll be...  she kind of does look like a mutant

images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-01-06 10:02:59 AM  

huntercr: JohnAnnArbor: jmr61: I'll just leave this here:

That's a lot of airbrushing. Most pictures nowadays, she looks like a mutant.

Well I'll be...  she kind of does look like a mutant

[images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 263x350]


that's not leann rimes.
 
2014-01-06 10:51:30 AM  
What's really sad is that WSB added the LeAnn Rimes line in their reporting of the story in the news broadcast this morning at 5:15 AM.

Their lack of editting is disturbing.

She was added to the story so the low information new sites would pick up the story,
 
2014-01-06 10:57:02 AM  
What's worse than crashing your plane in Aspen and killing your co-pilot?

Having God as your co-pilot.

You killed Yahweh! You bastard!
 
2014-01-06 11:53:00 AM  

fusillade762: The official said the passengers aboard were three Mexican men. He declined to release their names, citing security reasons.

It appears Obama's plan to use Mexican nationals to confiscate our guns has hit its first hitch...


They were there to buy Marijuana.
 
2014-01-06 12:07:47 PM  

SlothB77: huntercr: JohnAnnArbor: jmr61: I'll just leave this here:

That's a lot of airbrushing. Most pictures nowadays, she looks like a mutant.

Well I'll be...  she kind of does look like a mutant

[images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 263x350]

that's not leann rimes.


No you idiot. That's the mutant.
 
2014-01-06 12:21:02 PM  
Comedian Kevin Nealon sent a series of tweets about the crash through @kevin_nealon.
His first one said, "Horrible plane crash here at Aspen airport.
(Awesome!  I thought this was going to be a boring morning.) Exploded into flames as it was landing. (Is it illegal to tweet pictures of the dying?) I think it was a private jet.  (God, stop thinking of the bag of marshmallows in your luggage!)" Later he tweeted, "Airport is closed now. I think I'll drive back to LA after seeing that."  (Perfect excuse for two more days of drunken whoring before returning to the old Ball and Chain.)
 
2014-01-06 04:34:50 PM  
I would do it with LeAnn Rimes in fromt of Kevin Nealon.
 
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