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(Stuff.co.nz)   President of Zimbabwe Robert Mugabe has collapsed, possibly dead. UPDATE: or not   (stuff.co.nz) divider line 47
    More: News, Mr Mugabe, President of Zimbabwe, Zimbabwe  
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9737 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jan 2014 at 2:37 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2014-01-05 01:03:47 PM  
8 votes:
i1.ytimg.com
2014-01-05 03:38:14 PM  
7 votes:
Subject : MR SULEMAN BELLO
FROM THE OFFICE MR SULEMAN BELLO
AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK (ADB).
OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO.
WEST AFRICA.
TRANSFER OF ($ 25,200.000.00) TWENTY FIVE MILLION, TWO HUNDREN THOUSAND DOLLARS.
I AM SULEMAN BELLO, THE AUDITOR GENERAL OF AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK HERE IN BURKINA FASO. DURING THE COURSE OF OUR AUDITING, I DISCOVERED A FLOATING FUND IN AN ACCOUNT OPENED IN THE BANK BY MR ROBERT MUGABE AND AFTER GOING THROUGH SOME OLD FILES IN THE RECORDS I DISCOVERED THAT THE OWNER OF THE ACCOUNT COLLAPSED IN THE (BEIRUT-BOUND CHARTER JET) PLANE CRASH ON THE 25TH DECEMBER 2003 IN COTONOU (REPUBLIC OF BENIN).
AND NOBODY HAS OPERATED ON THIS ACCOUNT AGAIN, THE OWNER OF THIS ACCOUNT IS MR ROBERT MUGABE  A FOREIGNER, AND A TRADER WHO TRADE ON GOLD AND MINING, HE DIED, SINCE 2003 AND NO OTHER PERSON KNOWS ABOUT THIS ACCOUNT OR ANY THING CONCERNING IT, THE ACCOUNT HAS NO OTHER BENEFICIARY AND MY INVESTIGATION PROVED TO ME AS WELL THAT MR JOHN KOROVO DIE ALONG WITH HIS TIRED FAMILY. THE AMOUNT INVOLVED IS (USD 25.2 M) TWENTY-FIVE MILLION, TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS ONLY , I AM CONTACTING YOU AS A FOREIGNER BECAUSE THIS MONEY CAN NOT BE APPROVED TO A LOCAL PERSON HERE, BUT CAN ONLY BE APPROVED TO ANY FOREIGNER WITH VALID INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OR DRIVERS LICENSE AND FOREIGN ACCOUNT BECAUSE THE MONEY IS IN US DOLLARS AND THE FORMER OWNER OF THE ACCOUNT MR KANYE WEST  IS A FOREIGNER TOO, AND THE MONEY CAN ONLY BE APPROVED INTO A FOREIGN ACCOUNT.
I NEED YOUR STRONG ASSURANCE THAT YOU WILL NEVER, NEVER CHEAT ME AS SOON AS THIS FUND HIT INTO YOUR ACCOUNT. WITH MY INFLUENCE AND THE POSITION OF THE BANK OFFICIAL WE CAN TRANSFER THIS MONEY TO ANY FOREIGNER'S RELIABLE ACCOUNT WHICH YOU CAN PROVIDE WITH ASSURANCE THAT THIS MONEY WILL BE INTACT PENDING OUR PHYSICAL ARRIVAL IN YOUR COUNTRY FOR SHARING. THE BANK OFFICIAL WILL PROVE ALL DOCUMENTS OF TRANSACTION IMMEDIATELY FOR YOU TO RECEIVE THIS FUND LEAVING NO TRACE TO ANY PLACE AND TO BUILD CONFIDENCE.
ON THE CONCLUSION OF THIS TRANSACTION YOU WILL BE ENTITLED TO 30% OF THE TOTAL SUM AS GRATIFICATION, WHILE 10% WILL BE SET ASIDE TO TAKE CARE OF THE EXPENSES THAT MAY ARISE DURING THE TIME OF TRANSFER AND ALSO TELEPHONE BILLS, WHILE 60% WILL BE FOR ME.
SO ON THE INDICATION OF YOUR WILLINGNESS I WANT YOU TO FORWARD TO ME YOUR :FULL NAME: SEX: COMPANY: IF ANY FULL CONTACT ADDRESS: PHONE: CELL: FAX: CITY: STATE:ZIP CODE COUNTRY: OCCUPATION AND ALL THE NECESSARY INFORMATION WILL BE SENT TO YOU ON THE ACCEPTANCE TO CHAMPION THIS TRANSACTION WITH ME.

THANKS

YOURS TRULY
THE KARDASHIANS
2014-01-05 02:46:25 PM  
4 votes:
Robert Mugabe?  Collapsed?

And here I am, enjoying a glass of cabernet from one of his wineries right now.  Quel co-inky-dink!
2014-01-05 02:41:20 PM  
4 votes:
Happyton Bonyongwe, the Director-General of the Zimbabwean Central Intelligence Organisation, has reportedly tightened security at State House in Zimbabwe ...

Aaand now I know what I shall name my firstborn.
2014-01-05 02:41:20 PM  
4 votes:
media.tumblr.com
2014-01-05 03:32:03 PM  
3 votes:
I love how the conservatives are spreading the typical propaganda around.  Just because Robert is an African, doesn't prevent him from being a successful leader. Yes, there are legitimate criticisms, but for the most part, his actions are for the best of his people.
2014-01-05 03:29:15 PM  
3 votes:

i78.photobucket.com

2014-01-05 02:52:18 PM  
3 votes:
But which black person is he the polar opposite of?
2014-01-05 02:49:26 PM  
3 votes:
Of the dead, let nothing but good be said.

Mugabe's dead.

Good.
2014-01-05 03:52:16 PM  
2 votes:

francisright: I love how the conservatives are spreading the typical propaganda around.  Just because Robert is an African, doesn't prevent him from being a successful leader. Yes, there are legitimate criticisms, but for the most part, his actions are for the best of his people.


img.fark.net
2014-01-05 03:42:30 PM  
2 votes:

Sugarbombs: ~75 comments, and yet nobody has said anything about this just being a potential rumor posted on someone's facebook page.


My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Mugabe pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.
2014-01-05 03:36:18 PM  
2 votes:
EVERYBODY PICNIC!

/CNN reports a second Mugabe has collapsed?
2014-01-05 03:32:20 PM  
2 votes:
cdn.ientry.com
2014-01-05 03:03:59 PM  
2 votes:
In his favor, he does have the most musical name of all the world leaders. Bobby Mugabe, of Zimbabwe.

/just rolls off the tongue
2014-01-05 03:01:25 PM  
2 votes:
Well great, now the Zimbabwe economy will collapse.
2014-01-05 02:55:22 PM  
2 votes:

Feel_the_velvet: And here I am, enjoying a glass of cabernet from one of his wineries right now.  Quel co-inky-dink!


Evil dictator of the Sonoma valley.
2014-01-05 02:50:01 PM  
2 votes:

cameroncrazy1984: Covered in petrol, on fire?


That's fun!

I think that's *Funny*!

Because he was a mass murdering farkhead.

/As many famous historians have said.
2014-01-05 02:41:36 PM  
2 votes:
i.imgur.com
2014-01-05 02:39:33 PM  
2 votes:
Generalísimo Francisco Franco..... still dead
2014-01-05 02:38:55 PM  
2 votes:
SHUT.

DOWN.

EVERYTHING.
2014-01-05 11:54:19 PM  
1 votes:
So deth mugabe
very Zimbabwauy
much rejoice
2014-01-05 08:53:30 PM  
1 votes:
President of Zimbabwe Robert Mugabe has collapsed, possibly dead. UPDATE: or not

Sources say "yes?"
2014-01-05 05:31:46 PM  
1 votes:

FrancoFile: N-SIGN: rebelyell2006: eurotrader: If Mugabe is dead that is the best news for Rhodesia in a long time. Maybe an sustainable economy can return and the destruction of the country can be stopped.

If not, Czechoslovakia should expect an influx of refugees.

I will send a wireless to inform the Prussian consulate in Siam immediately.

The autogyro flights will be refueling in Tanganyika and the United Arab Republic.


I love all of you guys.
2014-01-05 04:06:12 PM  
1 votes:

N-SIGN: rebelyell2006: eurotrader: If Mugabe is dead that is the best news for Rhodesia in a long time. Maybe an sustainable economy can return and the destruction of the country can be stopped.

If not, Czechoslovakia should expect an influx of refugees.

I will send a wireless to inform the Prussian consulate in Siam immediately.


The autogyro flights will be refueling in Tanganyika and the United Arab Republic.
2014-01-05 04:00:39 PM  
1 votes:

rebelyell2006: eurotrader: If Mugabe is dead that is the best news for Rhodesia in a long time. Maybe an sustainable economy can return and the destruction of the country can be stopped.

If not, Czechoslovakia should expect an influx of refugees.


I will send a wireless to inform the Prussian consulate in Siam immediately.
2014-01-05 03:43:39 PM  
1 votes:
2014-01-05 03:40:53 PM  
1 votes:

give me doughnuts: Somaticasual: Sources say his funeral will cost at least 7 trillion dollars in zimbabwe, or around $21 US dollars..


You got hosed on the exchange rate.


It was mostly the ebay shipping cost..
I was surprised they didn't 'yo dawg, we packed your trillion dollar bills in shredded trillion dollar bills so you can unbox yo trillion dollar bills while digging through trillion dollar bills..'

//still, best gag gift slash sad statement on currency ever.
2014-01-05 03:38:12 PM  
1 votes:
Dead = Good!

If so, flush twice, giant turd on the way down.
2014-01-05 03:33:53 PM  
1 votes:
In other news, Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.
2014-01-05 03:33:30 PM  
1 votes:

AirGee: Yeah, if anyone is deserving of mockery at the moment of his death it is a dictator like Mugabe. Mandela had the opportunity to be the same thing Mugabe was, but instead turned to the very people who had put him in jail to try and bring the nation together.


If anything Mugabe is an anti-Mandela. Zimbabwe was doing okay until around 2003-2004 when Mugabe decided to run the show like a stereotypical African Big Man. Before that he wasn't a stellar president, but he wasn't a monster.
2014-01-05 03:31:13 PM  
1 votes:
But... what will happen to Soul Train?

/always mistakes Mugabe for Cornelius
2014-01-05 03:27:55 PM  
1 votes:
I hope Zimbabwe doesn't descend into chaos.
2014-01-05 03:18:01 PM  
1 votes:
If you have gods, pray to them that this is a merciful end to decades of misrule, corruption, stupidity and malice.

He was one of the worst presidents ever. Compared to him, Jimmy Carter is not even remotely History's Greatest Monster, and Barrack Hussein Obama is not the intentional destroyer of America. Compared to Mugabe, Castro is a model of englightenment, and Chavèz a man of wisdom and charity. Compared to him, even George W. Bush, Jr. is not an Upper Class Twit and coke and booze benighted dumbass preppy.

Mugabe is the epitomy of all that is worst in African government and society. His economic and political policies make the GOP look like sensible men of virtue and valour.

Toss his stinking carcass to wild dogs and move on, Zimbabwe. You can't take much more of this kind of shiat. If your currency becomes any more valueless, you won't be able to sell it to paper recyclers. They won't take it to make egg cartons or toilet paper.
2014-01-05 03:11:54 PM  
1 votes:

Somaticasual: Sources say his funeral will cost at least 7 trillion dollars in zimbabwe, or around $21 US dollars..


I am writing this to inform you your most precious that this sum can be trasferred to you, the next heir of kin to the great master, by only providing to me the numbers of your bank account in the United States.
2014-01-05 03:10:21 PM  
1 votes:
zimbabweelection.files.wordpress.com

Goodnight, sweet prince.
2014-01-05 03:06:11 PM  
1 votes:

eurotrader: If Mugabe is dead that is the best news for Rhodesia in a long time. Maybe an sustainable economy can return and the destruction of the country can be stopped.


Rhodesia?  The freedom loving people of Zimbabwe cast off that colonialist vestige decades ago.  Any reports there might be a Robert Mugabe-Un lurking in the wings?

This passage made me chortle -- Happyton Bonyongwe, the Director-General of the Zimbabwean Central Intelligence Organisation.Happyton?  ORLY?
2014-01-05 03:05:39 PM  
1 votes:
They need to cremate him and flush his ashes down the toilet at someplace nice, like Taco Tico, so he can swim around with all the other turds.
2014-01-05 03:03:22 PM  
1 votes:

Prairie Phoenix: their money is literally worthless.



Luckily for the US, we have the Federal Reserve.  They would never print trillions of dollars to try and end a recession.
2014-01-05 03:02:18 PM  
1 votes:
I think an appropriate memorial would be a combination of the permanent solemnity of Lenin's Tomb in Moscow along with the audience participation element of a piss trough from a men's room at Giant's Stadium.
2014-01-05 02:56:24 PM  
1 votes:

SevenizGud: Maybe the next leader of that country can improve it to 2nd biggest shiathole in the world.


Look out, Somalia. We're coming for you.
2014-01-05 02:48:54 PM  
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
2014-01-05 01:10:05 PM  
1 votes:

NewportBarGuy: Throw him in a ditch!


Covered in petrol, on fire?
2014-01-05 12:46:49 PM  
1 votes:
He's pining for the fjords
2014-01-05 12:20:11 PM  
1 votes:
Well, bye
2014-01-05 12:15:15 PM  
1 votes:

BizarreMan: Wow, how many billions of Zimbabwe dollars will be spent on the funeral?


You're not even going the cardboard box route, I see.
upload.wikimedia.org
2014-01-05 12:10:10 PM  
1 votes:
Wow, how many billions of Zimbabwe dollars will be spent on the funeral?
2014-01-05 12:07:19 PM  
1 votes:
World's smallest violins removed from cases, prepared for funeral...
 
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