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(Stuff.co.nz)   President of Zimbabwe Robert Mugabe has collapsed, possibly dead. UPDATE: or not   (stuff.co.nz) divider line 40
    More: News, Mr Mugabe, President of Zimbabwe, Zimbabwe  
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9724 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jan 2014 at 2:37 PM (42 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-01-05 12:07:19 PM  
4 votes:
World's smallest violins removed from cases, prepared for funeral...
2014-01-05 03:18:01 PM  
3 votes:
If you have gods, pray to them that this is a merciful end to decades of misrule, corruption, stupidity and malice.

He was one of the worst presidents ever. Compared to him, Jimmy Carter is not even remotely History's Greatest Monster, and Barrack Hussein Obama is not the intentional destroyer of America. Compared to Mugabe, Castro is a model of englightenment, and Chavèz a man of wisdom and charity. Compared to him, even George W. Bush, Jr. is not an Upper Class Twit and coke and booze benighted dumbass preppy.

Mugabe is the epitomy of all that is worst in African government and society. His economic and political policies make the GOP look like sensible men of virtue and valour.

Toss his stinking carcass to wild dogs and move on, Zimbabwe. You can't take much more of this kind of shiat. If your currency becomes any more valueless, you won't be able to sell it to paper recyclers. They won't take it to make egg cartons or toilet paper.
2014-01-05 02:49:26 PM  
3 votes:
Of the dead, let nothing but good be said.

Mugabe's dead.

Good.
2014-01-05 02:41:20 PM  
3 votes:
media.tumblr.com
2014-01-05 03:38:14 PM  
2 votes:
Subject : MR SULEMAN BELLO
FROM THE OFFICE MR SULEMAN BELLO
AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK (ADB).
OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO.
WEST AFRICA.
TRANSFER OF ($ 25,200.000.00) TWENTY FIVE MILLION, TWO HUNDREN THOUSAND DOLLARS.
I AM SULEMAN BELLO, THE AUDITOR GENERAL OF AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK HERE IN BURKINA FASO. DURING THE COURSE OF OUR AUDITING, I DISCOVERED A FLOATING FUND IN AN ACCOUNT OPENED IN THE BANK BY MR ROBERT MUGABE AND AFTER GOING THROUGH SOME OLD FILES IN THE RECORDS I DISCOVERED THAT THE OWNER OF THE ACCOUNT COLLAPSED IN THE (BEIRUT-BOUND CHARTER JET) PLANE CRASH ON THE 25TH DECEMBER 2003 IN COTONOU (REPUBLIC OF BENIN).
AND NOBODY HAS OPERATED ON THIS ACCOUNT AGAIN, THE OWNER OF THIS ACCOUNT IS MR ROBERT MUGABE  A FOREIGNER, AND A TRADER WHO TRADE ON GOLD AND MINING, HE DIED, SINCE 2003 AND NO OTHER PERSON KNOWS ABOUT THIS ACCOUNT OR ANY THING CONCERNING IT, THE ACCOUNT HAS NO OTHER BENEFICIARY AND MY INVESTIGATION PROVED TO ME AS WELL THAT MR JOHN KOROVO DIE ALONG WITH HIS TIRED FAMILY. THE AMOUNT INVOLVED IS (USD 25.2 M) TWENTY-FIVE MILLION, TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS ONLY , I AM CONTACTING YOU AS A FOREIGNER BECAUSE THIS MONEY CAN NOT BE APPROVED TO A LOCAL PERSON HERE, BUT CAN ONLY BE APPROVED TO ANY FOREIGNER WITH VALID INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OR DRIVERS LICENSE AND FOREIGN ACCOUNT BECAUSE THE MONEY IS IN US DOLLARS AND THE FORMER OWNER OF THE ACCOUNT MR KANYE WEST  IS A FOREIGNER TOO, AND THE MONEY CAN ONLY BE APPROVED INTO A FOREIGN ACCOUNT.
I NEED YOUR STRONG ASSURANCE THAT YOU WILL NEVER, NEVER CHEAT ME AS SOON AS THIS FUND HIT INTO YOUR ACCOUNT. WITH MY INFLUENCE AND THE POSITION OF THE BANK OFFICIAL WE CAN TRANSFER THIS MONEY TO ANY FOREIGNER'S RELIABLE ACCOUNT WHICH YOU CAN PROVIDE WITH ASSURANCE THAT THIS MONEY WILL BE INTACT PENDING OUR PHYSICAL ARRIVAL IN YOUR COUNTRY FOR SHARING. THE BANK OFFICIAL WILL PROVE ALL DOCUMENTS OF TRANSACTION IMMEDIATELY FOR YOU TO RECEIVE THIS FUND LEAVING NO TRACE TO ANY PLACE AND TO BUILD CONFIDENCE.
ON THE CONCLUSION OF THIS TRANSACTION YOU WILL BE ENTITLED TO 30% OF THE TOTAL SUM AS GRATIFICATION, WHILE 10% WILL BE SET ASIDE TO TAKE CARE OF THE EXPENSES THAT MAY ARISE DURING THE TIME OF TRANSFER AND ALSO TELEPHONE BILLS, WHILE 60% WILL BE FOR ME.
SO ON THE INDICATION OF YOUR WILLINGNESS I WANT YOU TO FORWARD TO ME YOUR :FULL NAME: SEX: COMPANY: IF ANY FULL CONTACT ADDRESS: PHONE: CELL: FAX: CITY: STATE:ZIP CODE COUNTRY: OCCUPATION AND ALL THE NECESSARY INFORMATION WILL BE SENT TO YOU ON THE ACCEPTANCE TO CHAMPION THIS TRANSACTION WITH ME.

THANKS

YOURS TRULY
THE KARDASHIANS
2014-01-05 03:29:15 PM  
2 votes:

i78.photobucket.com

2014-01-05 02:52:18 PM  
2 votes:
But which black person is he the polar opposite of?
2014-01-05 02:44:18 PM  
2 votes:
gifrific.com
2014-01-05 01:03:47 PM  
2 votes:
i1.ytimg.com
2014-01-05 12:33:50 PM  
2 votes:
If Mugabe is dead that is the best news for Rhodesia in a long time. Maybe an sustainable economy can return and the destruction of the country can be stopped.
2014-01-06 10:32:02 AM  
1 votes:

SauceIT: Uncle Tractor: Prairie Phoenix: Why would anyone want to visit Zimbabwe at all any time?

[upload.wikimedia.org image 800x516]

[epicadventurer.com image 500x341]
[upload.wikimedia.org image 850x570]


Was there a few times in the late 1980's.


This. I was there in '09 and it's the most beautiful place I've ever laid eyes on. Apart from the bits full of human misery. The people are also the friendliest I've ever met. I went to a friend's house and her mother flat out refused to let me leave the house without a bag full of yams because I hadn't tried "true African yams". That country deserves so much better than it got.
2014-01-05 08:53:30 PM  
1 votes:
President of Zimbabwe Robert Mugabe has collapsed, possibly dead. UPDATE: or not

Sources say "yes?"
2014-01-05 06:58:17 PM  
1 votes:
Still no mention of this on any real news source.

Real nice "breaking news" blog you greenlit there, crapmins.
2014-01-05 04:49:32 PM  
1 votes:
For all of you who missed the reference, Zimbabwe is the abandoned ruins of a lost civilization.  The fact that Mugabe decided to name his country for that decaying ruin has always been very ironic for me.  Rhodesia was not paradise, but compared to just about everywhere else in Africa in the 70's, it came close.  Not a corrupt dictatorship like the rest of the continent, and not a police state like South Africa.  Anybody, of any race or gender who had 8 years of schooling could vote.  Actually, come to think about it, that might not be a bad idea for the US.
I'll stop now...
2014-01-05 04:06:12 PM  
1 votes:

N-SIGN: rebelyell2006: eurotrader: If Mugabe is dead that is the best news for Rhodesia in a long time. Maybe an sustainable economy can return and the destruction of the country can be stopped.

If not, Czechoslovakia should expect an influx of refugees.

I will send a wireless to inform the Prussian consulate in Siam immediately.


The autogyro flights will be refueling in Tanganyika and the United Arab Republic.
2014-01-05 04:00:39 PM  
1 votes:

rebelyell2006: eurotrader: If Mugabe is dead that is the best news for Rhodesia in a long time. Maybe an sustainable economy can return and the destruction of the country can be stopped.

If not, Czechoslovakia should expect an influx of refugees.


I will send a wireless to inform the Prussian consulate in Siam immediately.
2014-01-05 03:55:38 PM  
1 votes:

eurotrader: If Mugabe is dead that is the best news for Rhodesia in a long time. Maybe an sustainable economy can return and the destruction of the country can be stopped.


If not, Czechoslovakia should expect an influx of refugees.
2014-01-05 03:43:39 PM  
1 votes:
2014-01-05 03:37:55 PM  
1 votes:

Uncle Tractor: Prairie Phoenix: Why would anyone want to visit Zimbabwe at all any time?

[upload.wikimedia.org image 800x516]


epicadventurer.com
upload.wikimedia.org


Was there a few times in the late 1980's.
2014-01-05 03:29:29 PM  
1 votes:
One of the last supervillan leaders left alive.  I've noticed throughout my life that a lot of the Eastern European and South American dictators are gone, as are guys like Pol Pot, Saddam Hussein, Idi Amin, Gaddafi, and some of the players from Best Korea.

Is it my imagination or have the nutty, brutal dictators been largely replaced by a collection bland, suit-and-tie, lairs and thieves or general thugs?  Somolian pirates? Kind of like street gangs.  Afghan fighters? Not sure who is at the top.
2014-01-05 03:11:54 PM  
1 votes:

Somaticasual: Sources say his funeral will cost at least 7 trillion dollars in zimbabwe, or around $21 US dollars..


I am writing this to inform you your most precious that this sum can be trasferred to you, the next heir of kin to the great master, by only providing to me the numbers of your bank account in the United States.
2014-01-05 03:08:31 PM  
1 votes:
Sources say his funeral will cost at least 7 trillion dollars in zimbabwe, or around $21 US dollars..
2014-01-05 03:07:37 PM  
1 votes:
This really happen?  Don't see any mention of this on BBC / Al Jazera or any crap US network.
2014-01-05 03:07:06 PM  
1 votes:
~75 comments, and yet nobody has said anything about this just being a potential rumor posted on someone's facebook page.
2014-01-05 03:04:01 PM  
1 votes:

whither_apophis: vpb: BizarreMan: Wow, how many billions of Zimbabwe dollars will be spent on the funeral?

I think they will just cremate him by burning money.

About a dollars worth should do it.

Actually this is a good thing for the currency. The country can only improve.

/probably


Not from observational evidence (imo). Mugabe was probably the only thing keeping his various cronies in government under control. Once he's gone, they'll prob all want to grab as much as they can, not that there's much left TO grab, mind you.
2014-01-05 03:02:18 PM  
1 votes:
I think an appropriate memorial would be a combination of the permanent solemnity of Lenin's Tomb in Moscow along with the audience participation element of a piss trough from a men's room at Giant's Stadium.
2014-01-05 02:55:04 PM  
1 votes:
Do we need some more grumpy cats? hmmm
gifrific.com
2014-01-05 02:49:44 PM  
1 votes:

ZzeusS: [t.qkme.me image 276x310]


i1.ytimg.com
2014-01-05 02:46:25 PM  
1 votes:
Robert Mugabe?  Collapsed?

And here I am, enjoying a glass of cabernet from one of his wineries right now.  Quel co-inky-dink!
2014-01-05 02:46:07 PM  
1 votes:
Good! Mugabe is an evil motherfarker.
2014-01-05 02:44:38 PM  
1 votes:
github.com
2014-01-05 02:43:16 PM  
1 votes:

Prairie Phoenix: Why would anyone want to visit Zimbabwe at all any time?


upload.wikimedia.org
2014-01-05 02:41:36 PM  
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
2014-01-05 02:41:08 PM  
1 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Should be interesting to see what rushes in to fill that vacuum

/wouldn't want to visit Zimbabwe for a while


Why would anyone want to visit Zimbabwe at all any time? Except for humanitarian reasons or just to say "I've been to Zimbabwe and I wasn't killed/robbed/contracted AIDS"
2014-01-05 02:40:55 PM  
1 votes:

cameroncrazy1984: NewportBarGuy: Throw him in a ditch!

Covered in petrol, on fire?


No... although that would have been a pretty good idea while he was alive.
2014-01-05 02:38:55 PM  
1 votes:
SHUT.

DOWN.

EVERYTHING.
2014-01-05 12:37:35 PM  
1 votes:
Should be interesting to see what rushes in to fill that vacuum

/wouldn't want to visit Zimbabwe for a while
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-01-05 12:17:09 PM  
1 votes:

BizarreMan: Wow, how many billions of Zimbabwe dollars will be spent on the funeral?


I think they will just cremate him by burning money.

About a dollars worth should do it.
2014-01-05 12:15:15 PM  
1 votes:

BizarreMan: Wow, how many billions of Zimbabwe dollars will be spent on the funeral?


You're not even going the cardboard box route, I see.
upload.wikimedia.org
2014-01-05 12:10:10 PM  
1 votes:
Wow, how many billions of Zimbabwe dollars will be spent on the funeral?
 
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