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(Stuff.co.nz)   President of Zimbabwe Robert Mugabe has collapsed, possibly dead. UPDATE: or not   (stuff.co.nz) divider line 171
    More: News, Mr Mugabe, President of Zimbabwe, Zimbabwe  
•       •       •

9711 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jan 2014 at 2:37 PM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



171 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-05 12:07:19 PM
World's smallest violins removed from cases, prepared for funeral...
 
2014-01-05 12:10:10 PM
Wow, how many billions of Zimbabwe dollars will be spent on the funeral?
 
2014-01-05 12:10:27 PM
How much is it to buy like, a case of Budweiser and a plane ticket to Harare?
 
2014-01-05 12:15:15 PM

BizarreMan: Wow, how many billions of Zimbabwe dollars will be spent on the funeral?


You're not even going the cardboard box route, I see.
upload.wikimedia.org
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-01-05 12:17:09 PM

BizarreMan: Wow, how many billions of Zimbabwe dollars will be spent on the funeral?


I think they will just cremate him by burning money.

About a dollars worth should do it.
 
2014-01-05 12:19:38 PM

vpb: BizarreMan: Wow, how many billions of Zimbabwe dollars will be spent on the funeral?

I think they will just cremate him by burning money.

About a dollars worth should do it.


Actually this is a good thing for the currency. The country can only improve.

/probably
 
2014-01-05 12:19:45 PM
This should be his gravestone:

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-01-05 12:20:11 PM
Well, bye
 
2014-01-05 12:23:37 PM

whither_apophis: vpb: BizarreMan: Wow, how many billions of Zimbabwe dollars will be spent on the funeral?

I think they will just cremate him by burning money.

About a dollars worth should do it.

Actually this is a good thing for the currency. The country can only improve.

/probably


Deflation is something that is, well, complex. I don't know if the right answer isn't just to replace the currency.
 
2014-01-05 12:25:42 PM
Throw him in a ditch!
 
2014-01-05 12:26:00 PM
Good. I hope it was the CIA.
 
2014-01-05 12:33:50 PM
If Mugabe is dead that is the best news for Rhodesia in a long time. Maybe an sustainable economy can return and the destruction of the country can be stopped.
 
2014-01-05 12:34:40 PM

vygramul: whither_apophis: vpb: BizarreMan: Wow, how many billions of Zimbabwe dollars will be spent on the funeral?

I think they will just cremate him by burning money.

About a dollars worth should do it.

Actually this is a good thing for the currency. The country can only improve.

/probably

Deflation is something that is, well, complex. I don't know if the right answer isn't just to replace the currency.


Yeah, assuming it isn't a crony that takes power next, any legit gov't would purge and start over.
 
2014-01-05 12:37:35 PM
Should be interesting to see what rushes in to fill that vacuum

/wouldn't want to visit Zimbabwe for a while
 
2014-01-05 12:46:49 PM
He's pining for the fjords
 
2014-01-05 12:57:08 PM
You say Mu-gah-be
I say Mu-gay-be
You say, eat babby
I say, eat baby

... Let's call the whole thing off

If there is a Hell, he is there with Gary Coleman... Eternally reliving this nightmare...

i.onionstatic.com
 
2014-01-05 01:03:47 PM
i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-01-05 01:10:05 PM

NewportBarGuy: Throw him in a ditch!


Covered in petrol, on fire?
 
2014-01-05 02:38:55 PM
SHUT.

DOWN.

EVERYTHING.
 
2014-01-05 02:39:33 PM
Generalísimo Francisco Franco..... still dead
 
2014-01-05 02:39:48 PM
He deserves a farkeulogy.
 
2014-01-05 02:40:55 PM

cameroncrazy1984: NewportBarGuy: Throw him in a ditch!

Covered in petrol, on fire?


No... although that would have been a pretty good idea while he was alive.
 
2014-01-05 02:41:08 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Should be interesting to see what rushes in to fill that vacuum

/wouldn't want to visit Zimbabwe for a while


Why would anyone want to visit Zimbabwe at all any time? Except for humanitarian reasons or just to say "I've been to Zimbabwe and I wasn't killed/robbed/contracted AIDS"
 
2014-01-05 02:41:19 PM
t.qkme.me
 
2014-01-05 02:41:20 PM
media.tumblr.com
 
2014-01-05 02:41:20 PM
Happyton Bonyongwe, the Director-General of the Zimbabwean Central Intelligence Organisation, has reportedly tightened security at State House in Zimbabwe ...

Aaand now I know what I shall name my firstborn.
 
2014-01-05 02:41:36 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-05 02:41:52 PM
Some people the world is better without.
 
2014-01-05 02:42:04 PM
Obama sees it fit to smite another asshole dictator. That's like five or six dead on his watch.
 
2014-01-05 02:42:04 PM

JasonOfOrillia: He deserves a farkeulogy.


YES! Andy and John need to do this one
 
2014-01-05 02:42:34 PM

awfulperson: Happyton Bonyongwe, the Director-General of the Zimbabwean Central Intelligence Organisation, has reportedly tightened security at State House in Zimbabwe ...

Aaand now I know what I shall name my firstborn.


Will he be a metric or Imperial ton of fun?
 
2014-01-05 02:42:39 PM
Someone smother him with a pillow to make sure.
 
2014-01-05 02:43:16 PM

Prairie Phoenix: Why would anyone want to visit Zimbabwe at all any time?


upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-01-05 02:43:53 PM
I hope he's not dead so they can torture him.  Turn him into Reek
 
2014-01-05 02:44:18 PM
gifrific.com
 
2014-01-05 02:44:38 PM
github.com
 
2014-01-05 02:44:59 PM
Where can they store his corpse?
 
2014-01-05 02:45:21 PM
And not a fark was given...
 
2014-01-05 02:45:32 PM
The only problem I foresee is wholesale looting, raping and pillaging by his ZANU-PF thugs as they realize the leash has been cut. Oh, wait, they do that anyway.
 
2014-01-05 02:45:56 PM
Forget it, Jack.

It's Zimbabwe.
 
2014-01-05 02:46:00 PM

Fear the Clam: [media.tumblr.com image 400x400]


Beat me to it.
 
2014-01-05 02:46:07 PM
Good! Mugabe is an evil motherfarker.
 
2014-01-05 02:46:25 PM
Robert Mugabe?  Collapsed?

And here I am, enjoying a glass of cabernet from one of his wineries right now.  Quel co-inky-dink!
 
2014-01-05 02:47:26 PM
Couldn't have happened to a nicer man.
 
2014-01-05 02:47:33 PM

Feel_the_velvet: Robert Mugabe?  Collapsed?

And here I am, enjoying a glass of cabernet from one of his wineries right now.  Quel co-inky-dink!


That took me a bit longer than I care to admit. Bravo.
 
2014-01-05 02:48:27 PM
If Mugabe's dead, short term things could get really nasty in Zimbabwe.

Long-term, though, it'll be the best for them.  They cannot advance as a country until that old bastard is dead.
 
2014-01-05 02:48:54 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-05 02:49:26 PM
Of the dead, let nothing but good be said.

Mugabe's dead.

Good.
 
2014-01-05 02:49:35 PM

EkimProx: Fear the Clam: [media.tumblr.com image 400x400]

Beat me to it.


No problem. It's two-grumpy-cats-worth of good news.
 
2014-01-05 02:49:39 PM

indylaw: SHUT.

DOWN.

EVERYTHING.


took so long.
 
2014-01-05 02:49:44 PM

ZzeusS: [t.qkme.me image 276x310]


i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-01-05 02:50:01 PM

cameroncrazy1984: Covered in petrol, on fire?


That's fun!

I think that's *Funny*!

Because he was a mass murdering farkhead.

/As many famous historians have said.
 
2014-01-05 02:50:05 PM
Good. This calls for a celebratory beer.
 
2014-01-05 02:50:10 PM
Really, couldn't happen to a nicer guy..

//oh wait, it EASILY could..
 
2014-01-05 02:51:24 PM
Another won't be missed.
Off the little list.
 
2014-01-05 02:52:16 PM
Maybe the next leader of that country can improve it to 2nd biggest shiathole in the world.
 
2014-01-05 02:52:18 PM
But which black person is he the polar opposite of?
 
2014-01-05 02:53:57 PM
http://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/zi.ht m l


Only 7.3 percent of the population is 55 or over.
Life expectancy at birth is 54 years old.
14.3% of the population has HIV or AIDS
Major infectious disease risk = very high, including Hep A, typhoid, malaria, dengue fever
68% of the population under the poverty line
Full of political violence, human rights violations and economic collapse.
Major source of labor and sex traffic.
And their money is literally worthless.
 
2014-01-05 02:55:04 PM
Do we need some more grumpy cats? hmmm
gifrific.com
 
2014-01-05 02:55:22 PM

Feel_the_velvet: And here I am, enjoying a glass of cabernet from one of his wineries right now.  Quel co-inky-dink!


Evil dictator of the Sonoma valley.
 
2014-01-05 02:55:51 PM

Uncle Tractor: Prairie Phoenix: Why would anyone want to visit Zimbabwe at all any time?

[upload.wikimedia.org image 800x516]


Ok, that's a good reason as well
 
2014-01-05 02:56:24 PM

SevenizGud: Maybe the next leader of that country can improve it to 2nd biggest shiathole in the world.


Look out, Somalia. We're coming for you.
 
2014-01-05 02:57:59 PM
Ready the F*ck Eulogy!
 
2014-01-05 02:58:48 PM

fat boy: Where can they store his corpse?


Bury him up on the Rock, next to Cecil Rhodes.

It will save me time down the road: I can piss on both of their graves at the same time.
 
2014-01-05 02:59:32 PM
About 70 years too late. Enjoy hell Mugabe.
 
2014-01-05 02:59:51 PM

Fear the Clam: [media.tumblr.com image 400x400]


Came for this.
Leaving happy.
 
2014-01-05 03:00:59 PM

Zombie DJ: Forget it, Jack.

It's Zimbabwe.



Jake.
 
2014-01-05 03:01:25 PM
Well great, now the Zimbabwe economy will collapse.
 
2014-01-05 03:02:13 PM
i96.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-05 03:02:18 PM
I think an appropriate memorial would be a combination of the permanent solemnity of Lenin's Tomb in Moscow along with the audience participation element of a piss trough from a men's room at Giant's Stadium.
 
2014-01-05 03:03:22 PM

Prairie Phoenix: their money is literally worthless.



Luckily for the US, we have the Federal Reserve.  They would never print trillions of dollars to try and end a recession.
 
2014-01-05 03:03:59 PM
In his favor, he does have the most musical name of all the world leaders. Bobby Mugabe, of Zimbabwe.

/just rolls off the tongue
 
2014-01-05 03:04:01 PM

whither_apophis: vpb: BizarreMan: Wow, how many billions of Zimbabwe dollars will be spent on the funeral?

I think they will just cremate him by burning money.

About a dollars worth should do it.

Actually this is a good thing for the currency. The country can only improve.

/probably


Not from observational evidence (imo). Mugabe was probably the only thing keeping his various cronies in government under control. Once he's gone, they'll prob all want to grab as much as they can, not that there's much left TO grab, mind you.
 
2014-01-05 03:05:06 PM
Prairie Phoenix:Only 7.3 percent of the population is 55 or over.
Life expectancy at birth is 54 years old.
14.3% of the population has HIV or AIDS
Major infectious disease risk = very high, including Hep A, typhoid, malaria, dengue fever
68% of the population under the poverty line
Full of political violence, human rights violations and economic collapse.
Major source of labor and sex traffic.
And their money is literally worthless.


Hey, it's not all bad.  Some really exquisite rare mineral specimens come from Zimbabwe.  The trade of which contributes to labor exploitation and other problems.  Now I feel bad.
 
2014-01-05 03:05:21 PM

vygramul: BizarreMan: Wow, how many billions of Zimbabwe dollars will be spent on the funeral?

You're not even going the cardboard box route, I see.
[upload.wikimedia.org image 850x421]


Paging Dr. Evil.
 
2014-01-05 03:05:39 PM
They need to cremate him and flush his ashes down the toilet at someplace nice, like Taco Tico, so he can swim around with all the other turds.
 
2014-01-05 03:06:11 PM

eurotrader: If Mugabe is dead that is the best news for Rhodesia in a long time. Maybe an sustainable economy can return and the destruction of the country can be stopped.


Rhodesia?  The freedom loving people of Zimbabwe cast off that colonialist vestige decades ago.  Any reports there might be a Robert Mugabe-Un lurking in the wings?

This passage made me chortle -- Happyton Bonyongwe, the Director-General of the Zimbabwean Central Intelligence Organisation.Happyton?  ORLY?
 
2014-01-05 03:06:26 PM
Now Mugabe can eat fat cocks in hell.
 
2014-01-05 03:06:52 PM
Couldn't have happened to a better person.
 
2014-01-05 03:07:06 PM
~75 comments, and yet nobody has said anything about this just being a potential rumor posted on someone's facebook page.
 
2014-01-05 03:07:37 PM
This really happen?  Don't see any mention of this on BBC / Al Jazera or any crap US network.
 
2014-01-05 03:08:31 PM
Sources say his funeral will cost at least 7 trillion dollars in zimbabwe, or around $21 US dollars..
 
2014-01-05 03:09:06 PM
Thanks Obama!
 
2014-01-05 03:09:25 PM
'Bout time. Let's hope life gets better for Zimbabweans, even in the short term.

Not exactly sure how you'd fix the place, though, might be a bit of a challenge.
 
2014-01-05 03:10:02 PM
I don't like saying this, but I hope he's dead.
 
2014-01-05 03:10:21 PM
zimbabweelection.files.wordpress.com

Goodnight, sweet prince.
 
2014-01-05 03:10:39 PM

HempHead: Prairie Phoenix: their money is literally worthless.


Luckily for the US, we have the Federal Reserve.  They would never print trillions of dollars to try and end a recession.


The Snark is strong in this one.

www.blastr.com
 
2014-01-05 03:11:02 PM

Sugarbombs: ~75 comments, and yet nobody has said anything about this just being a potential rumor posted on someone's facebook page.



What?  Are Facebook postings unreliable all of a sudden?
 
2014-01-05 03:11:54 PM

Somaticasual: Sources say his funeral will cost at least 7 trillion dollars in zimbabwe, or around $21 US dollars..


I am writing this to inform you your most precious that this sum can be trasferred to you, the next heir of kin to the great master, by only providing to me the numbers of your bank account in the United States.
 
2014-01-05 03:13:54 PM

Prairie Phoenix: Why would anyone want to visit Zimbabwe at all any time? Except for humanitarian reasons or just to say "I've been to Zimbabwe and I wasn't killed/robbed/contracted AIDS"


well there are some people who like nature; africa is the most beautiful continent...
 
2014-01-05 03:14:18 PM

Sugarbombs: ~75 comments, and yet nobody has said anything about this just being a potential rumor posted on someone's facebook page.


Collective wishful thinking.
 
2014-01-05 03:14:51 PM

Sugarbombs: ~75 comments, and yet nobody has said anything about this just being a potential rumor posted on someone's facebook page.



Wishful thinking.
 
2014-01-05 03:15:07 PM

Odoriferous Queef: The Snark is strong in this one.


No, it's not snark. He's a goldbug loon, and believes that the quantitative easing performed by the Fed in recent years will lift the US inflation rate above 2% any day now.
 
2014-01-05 03:16:27 PM

Sugarbombs: ~75 comments, and yet nobody has said anything about this just being a potential rumor posted on someone's facebook page.


Well, I guess that show exactly how deep the well of good feeling and heartfelt support for Robert Mugabe is here on Fark.
 
2014-01-05 03:18:01 PM
If you have gods, pray to them that this is a merciful end to decades of misrule, corruption, stupidity and malice.

He was one of the worst presidents ever. Compared to him, Jimmy Carter is not even remotely History's Greatest Monster, and Barrack Hussein Obama is not the intentional destroyer of America. Compared to Mugabe, Castro is a model of englightenment, and Chavèz a man of wisdom and charity. Compared to him, even George W. Bush, Jr. is not an Upper Class Twit and coke and booze benighted dumbass preppy.

Mugabe is the epitomy of all that is worst in African government and society. His economic and political policies make the GOP look like sensible men of virtue and valour.

Toss his stinking carcass to wild dogs and move on, Zimbabwe. You can't take much more of this kind of shiat. If your currency becomes any more valueless, you won't be able to sell it to paper recyclers. They won't take it to make egg cartons or toilet paper.
 
2014-01-05 03:19:43 PM
I'd be happier but I can't help worrying what kind of psychopath may take his place.
/remembers when Kim Jong-il passed
 
2014-01-05 03:20:02 PM

rocketpants: [i.imgur.com image 500x230]


niiiice
 
2014-01-05 03:20:44 PM

brantgoose: If you have gods, pray to them that this is a merciful end to decades of misrule, corruption, stupidity and malice.


Even in the mire, there are still people trying to find diamonds.
 
2014-01-05 03:23:47 PM

theorellior: Sugarbombs: ~75 comments, and yet nobody has said anything about this just being a potential rumor posted on someone's facebook page.

Well, I guess that show exactly how deep the well of good feeling and heartfelt support for Robert Mugabe is here on Fark.



Let's hope the Politics Tab trolls who've accused "libs" of supporting this dictator notice this fact and choose to shut the fark up this time.
 
2014-01-05 03:25:03 PM

phaseolus: Let's hope the Politics Tab trolls who've accused "libs" of supporting this dictator notice this fact and choose to shut the fark up this time.


There's that charming naivete again, I love that about you. ; )
 
2014-01-05 03:25:40 PM

phaseolus: theorellior: Sugarbombs: ~75 comments, and yet nobody has said anything about this just being a potential rumor posted on someone's facebook page.

Well, I guess that show exactly how deep the well of good feeling and heartfelt support for Robert Mugabe is here on Fark.


Let's hope the Politics Tab trolls who've accused "libs" of supporting this dictator notice this fact and choose to shut the fark up this time.


BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

ohyou.jpg
 
2014-01-05 03:26:28 PM
Choked on a femur bone. We don't know whose.
 
2014-01-05 03:27:25 PM
img.dailymail.co.uk
Also saying "Good"

/Ian Smith, former dictator of Southern Rhodesia
 
2014-01-05 03:27:55 PM
I hope Zimbabwe doesn't descend into chaos.
 
2014-01-05 03:29:15 PM

i78.photobucket.com

 
2014-01-05 03:29:22 PM

Leader O'Cola: classier headline than Mandela got



Yeah, if anyone is deserving of mockery at the moment of his death it is a dictator like Mugabe.  Mandela had the opportunity to be the same thing Mugabe was, but instead turned to the very people who had put him in jail to try and bring the nation together.
 
2014-01-05 03:29:29 PM
One of the last supervillan leaders left alive.  I've noticed throughout my life that a lot of the Eastern European and South American dictators are gone, as are guys like Pol Pot, Saddam Hussein, Idi Amin, Gaddafi, and some of the players from Best Korea.

Is it my imagination or have the nutty, brutal dictators been largely replaced by a collection bland, suit-and-tie, lairs and thieves or general thugs?  Somolian pirates? Kind of like street gangs.  Afghan fighters? Not sure who is at the top.
 
2014-01-05 03:31:13 PM
But... what will happen to Soul Train?

/always mistakes Mugabe for Cornelius
 
2014-01-05 03:31:15 PM

Somaticasual: Sources say his funeral will cost at least 7 trillion dollars in zimbabwe, or around $21 US dollars..



You got hosed on the exchange rate.
 
2014-01-05 03:32:01 PM
Good.  The world is better without this man in it.
 
2014-01-05 03:32:03 PM
I love how the conservatives are spreading the typical propaganda around.  Just because Robert is an African, doesn't prevent him from being a successful leader. Yes, there are legitimate criticisms, but for the most part, his actions are for the best of his people.
 
2014-01-05 03:32:11 PM

Satanic_Hamster: This really happen?  Don't see any mention of this on BBC / Al Jazera or any crap US network.


Yeah, I'm waiting for a BBC News alert before I start celebrating.

/The British press have been waiting for this to happen for years!
 
2014-01-05 03:32:20 PM
cdn.ientry.com
 
2014-01-05 03:33:21 PM

Spartapuss: Obama sees it fit to smite another asshole dictator. That's like five or six dead on his watch.


He's consolidating his power.

theorellior: Someone smother him with a pillow to make sure.


Better chop him up into a million pieces just to make extra, extra sure.
 
2014-01-05 03:33:30 PM

AirGee: Yeah, if anyone is deserving of mockery at the moment of his death it is a dictator like Mugabe. Mandela had the opportunity to be the same thing Mugabe was, but instead turned to the very people who had put him in jail to try and bring the nation together.


If anything Mugabe is an anti-Mandela. Zimbabwe was doing okay until around 2003-2004 when Mugabe decided to run the show like a stereotypical African Big Man. Before that he wasn't a stellar president, but he wasn't a monster.
 
2014-01-05 03:33:53 PM
In other news, Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.
 
2014-01-05 03:36:18 PM
EVERYBODY PICNIC!

/CNN reports a second Mugabe has collapsed?
 
2014-01-05 03:36:42 PM

francisright: I love how the conservatives are spreading the typical propaganda around.  Just because Robert is an African, doesn't prevent him from being a successful leader. Yes, there are legitimate criticisms, but for the most part, his actions are for the best of his people.


wut?
 
2014-01-05 03:37:55 PM

Uncle Tractor: Prairie Phoenix: Why would anyone want to visit Zimbabwe at all any time?

[upload.wikimedia.org image 800x516]


epicadventurer.com
upload.wikimedia.org


Was there a few times in the late 1980's.
 
2014-01-05 03:38:12 PM
Dead = Good!

If so, flush twice, giant turd on the way down.
 
2014-01-05 03:38:14 PM
Subject : MR SULEMAN BELLO
FROM THE OFFICE MR SULEMAN BELLO
AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK (ADB).
OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO.
WEST AFRICA.
TRANSFER OF ($ 25,200.000.00) TWENTY FIVE MILLION, TWO HUNDREN THOUSAND DOLLARS.
I AM SULEMAN BELLO, THE AUDITOR GENERAL OF AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK HERE IN BURKINA FASO. DURING THE COURSE OF OUR AUDITING, I DISCOVERED A FLOATING FUND IN AN ACCOUNT OPENED IN THE BANK BY MR ROBERT MUGABE AND AFTER GOING THROUGH SOME OLD FILES IN THE RECORDS I DISCOVERED THAT THE OWNER OF THE ACCOUNT COLLAPSED IN THE (BEIRUT-BOUND CHARTER JET) PLANE CRASH ON THE 25TH DECEMBER 2003 IN COTONOU (REPUBLIC OF BENIN).
AND NOBODY HAS OPERATED ON THIS ACCOUNT AGAIN, THE OWNER OF THIS ACCOUNT IS MR ROBERT MUGABE  A FOREIGNER, AND A TRADER WHO TRADE ON GOLD AND MINING, HE DIED, SINCE 2003 AND NO OTHER PERSON KNOWS ABOUT THIS ACCOUNT OR ANY THING CONCERNING IT, THE ACCOUNT HAS NO OTHER BENEFICIARY AND MY INVESTIGATION PROVED TO ME AS WELL THAT MR JOHN KOROVO DIE ALONG WITH HIS TIRED FAMILY. THE AMOUNT INVOLVED IS (USD 25.2 M) TWENTY-FIVE MILLION, TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS ONLY , I AM CONTACTING YOU AS A FOREIGNER BECAUSE THIS MONEY CAN NOT BE APPROVED TO A LOCAL PERSON HERE, BUT CAN ONLY BE APPROVED TO ANY FOREIGNER WITH VALID INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OR DRIVERS LICENSE AND FOREIGN ACCOUNT BECAUSE THE MONEY IS IN US DOLLARS AND THE FORMER OWNER OF THE ACCOUNT MR KANYE WEST  IS A FOREIGNER TOO, AND THE MONEY CAN ONLY BE APPROVED INTO A FOREIGN ACCOUNT.
I NEED YOUR STRONG ASSURANCE THAT YOU WILL NEVER, NEVER CHEAT ME AS SOON AS THIS FUND HIT INTO YOUR ACCOUNT. WITH MY INFLUENCE AND THE POSITION OF THE BANK OFFICIAL WE CAN TRANSFER THIS MONEY TO ANY FOREIGNER'S RELIABLE ACCOUNT WHICH YOU CAN PROVIDE WITH ASSURANCE THAT THIS MONEY WILL BE INTACT PENDING OUR PHYSICAL ARRIVAL IN YOUR COUNTRY FOR SHARING. THE BANK OFFICIAL WILL PROVE ALL DOCUMENTS OF TRANSACTION IMMEDIATELY FOR YOU TO RECEIVE THIS FUND LEAVING NO TRACE TO ANY PLACE AND TO BUILD CONFIDENCE.
ON THE CONCLUSION OF THIS TRANSACTION YOU WILL BE ENTITLED TO 30% OF THE TOTAL SUM AS GRATIFICATION, WHILE 10% WILL BE SET ASIDE TO TAKE CARE OF THE EXPENSES THAT MAY ARISE DURING THE TIME OF TRANSFER AND ALSO TELEPHONE BILLS, WHILE 60% WILL BE FOR ME.
SO ON THE INDICATION OF YOUR WILLINGNESS I WANT YOU TO FORWARD TO ME YOUR :FULL NAME: SEX: COMPANY: IF ANY FULL CONTACT ADDRESS: PHONE: CELL: FAX: CITY: STATE:ZIP CODE COUNTRY: OCCUPATION AND ALL THE NECESSARY INFORMATION WILL BE SENT TO YOU ON THE ACCEPTANCE TO CHAMPION THIS TRANSACTION WITH ME.

THANKS

YOURS TRULY
THE KARDASHIANS
 
2014-01-05 03:38:40 PM

francisright: I love how the conservatives are spreading the typical propaganda around.  Just because Robert is an African, doesn't prevent him from being a successful leader. Yes, there are legitimate criticisms, but for the most part, his actions are for the best of his people.


If by "his people" you mean his political cronies.
 
2014-01-05 03:40:01 PM

GardenWeasel: francisright: I love how the conservatives are spreading the typical propaganda around.  Just because Robert is an African, doesn't prevent him from being a successful leader. Yes, there are legitimate criticisms, but for the most part, his actions are for the best of his people.

wut?


Don't mind him, he has no clue what he's talking about.
 
2014-01-05 03:40:53 PM

give me doughnuts: Somaticasual: Sources say his funeral will cost at least 7 trillion dollars in zimbabwe, or around $21 US dollars..


You got hosed on the exchange rate.


It was mostly the ebay shipping cost..
I was surprised they didn't 'yo dawg, we packed your trillion dollar bills in shredded trillion dollar bills so you can unbox yo trillion dollar bills while digging through trillion dollar bills..'

//still, best gag gift slash sad statement on currency ever.
 
2014-01-05 03:41:54 PM

Smoking GNU: GardenWeasel: francisright: I love how the conservatives are spreading the typical propaganda around.  Just because Robert is an African, doesn't prevent him from being a successful leader. Yes, there are legitimate criticisms, but for the most part, his actions are for the best of his people.

wut?

Don't mind him, he has no clue what he's talking about.


Shhhhhh..... He's trolling.  Let's see how many bites he gets.
 
2014-01-05 03:42:30 PM

Sugarbombs: ~75 comments, and yet nobody has said anything about this just being a potential rumor posted on someone's facebook page.


My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Mugabe pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.
 
2014-01-05 03:43:39 PM
 
2014-01-05 03:46:43 PM
You guys are thinking of Madagascar, not Zimbabwe.
 
2014-01-05 03:47:03 PM
Sure, he "fell." He just "fell down dead," did he?
 
2014-01-05 03:47:52 PM

Burke Turkey: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYnL5oUePM8

Relevant, and possibly SFW.


It looked SFW to me.
 
2014-01-05 03:48:16 PM
Yeah.  Too farking bad for him.  Guess he shouldn't have wrecked all the farms and industry.

Really ruined the country, any way you slice it.  Not holding out much hope for self-governance when he's gone, but who knows.
 
2014-01-05 03:52:16 PM

francisright: I love how the conservatives are spreading the typical propaganda around.  Just because Robert is an African, doesn't prevent him from being a successful leader. Yes, there are legitimate criticisms, but for the most part, his actions are for the best of his people.


img.fark.net
 
2014-01-05 03:52:33 PM
Burke Turkey FTW.

That is all.
 
2014-01-05 03:55:38 PM

eurotrader: If Mugabe is dead that is the best news for Rhodesia in a long time. Maybe an sustainable economy can return and the destruction of the country can be stopped.


If not, Czechoslovakia should expect an influx of refugees.
 
2014-01-05 04:00:39 PM

rebelyell2006: eurotrader: If Mugabe is dead that is the best news for Rhodesia in a long time. Maybe an sustainable economy can return and the destruction of the country can be stopped.

If not, Czechoslovakia should expect an influx of refugees.


I will send a wireless to inform the Prussian consulate in Siam immediately.
 
2014-01-05 04:04:45 PM
 
2014-01-05 04:06:12 PM

N-SIGN: rebelyell2006: eurotrader: If Mugabe is dead that is the best news for Rhodesia in a long time. Maybe an sustainable economy can return and the destruction of the country can be stopped.

If not, Czechoslovakia should expect an influx of refugees.

I will send a wireless to inform the Prussian consulate in Siam immediately.


The autogyro flights will be refueling in Tanganyika and the United Arab Republic.
 
2014-01-05 04:11:20 PM

JasonOfOrillia: He deserves a farkeulogy.


Glad to see this has been covered.
 
2014-01-05 04:16:23 PM

drjekel_mrhyde: francisright: I love how the conservatives are spreading the typical propaganda around.  Just because Robert is an African, doesn't prevent him from being a successful leader. Yes, there are legitimate criticisms, but for the most part, his actions are for the best of his people.

[img.fark.net image 248x193]


That is my new favorite gif.
 
2014-01-05 04:29:16 PM

Burke Turkey: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYnL5oUePM8

Relevant, and possibly SFW.


Holy shiat, I laughed WAY too hard at that.

/I want a gold plated, AK47 squirt gun
 
2014-01-05 04:49:32 PM
For all of you who missed the reference, Zimbabwe is the abandoned ruins of a lost civilization.  The fact that Mugabe decided to name his country for that decaying ruin has always been very ironic for me.  Rhodesia was not paradise, but compared to just about everywhere else in Africa in the 70's, it came close.  Not a corrupt dictatorship like the rest of the continent, and not a police state like South Africa.  Anybody, of any race or gender who had 8 years of schooling could vote.  Actually, come to think about it, that might not be a bad idea for the US.
I'll stop now...
 
2014-01-05 04:49:47 PM
"Zimbabwe's stock market was the best performer this decade - but your entire portfolio now buys you 3 eggs"

~Kyle Bass
 
2014-01-05 05:08:17 PM

Dwight_Yeast: /The British press have been waiting for this to happen for years!


Pretty much everyone, actually. Especially Morgan  Tsvangirai. If anyone's ever lived by Journey's advice in Zimbabwe, its him.
 
2014-01-05 05:14:31 PM

docgrog: Rhodesia was not paradise, but compared to just about everywhere else in Africa in the 70's, it came close.  Not a corrupt dictatorship like the rest of the continent, and not a police state like South Africa


Are you suggesting that neocolonialism might be a really shiatty political and economic foreign policy with decades of lingering problems for target societies and the regional geopolitic?

Perish the thought.
 
2014-01-05 05:19:13 PM
Interesting, I can't find this on any news site, no mention at all.
 
2014-01-05 05:26:57 PM

SauceIT: Uncle Tractor: Prairie Phoenix: Why would anyone want to visit Zimbabwe at all any time?

[upload.wikimedia.org image 800x516]





Was there a few times in the late 1980's.


Vic falls is prettier and cheaper on the zambia side.
 
2014-01-05 05:31:46 PM

FrancoFile: N-SIGN: rebelyell2006: eurotrader: If Mugabe is dead that is the best news for Rhodesia in a long time. Maybe an sustainable economy can return and the destruction of the country can be stopped.

If not, Czechoslovakia should expect an influx of refugees.

I will send a wireless to inform the Prussian consulate in Siam immediately.

The autogyro flights will be refueling in Tanganyika and the United Arab Republic.


I love all of you guys.
 
2014-01-05 05:53:18 PM
Would anyone miss him?

Unfortunately, I have a feeling the real power behind Zimbabwe has long been the military elite. Old dude dies? Put somebody else in his place. Continue operations.
 
2014-01-05 06:07:08 PM
Talk about a study in contrasts.  Nelson Mandela and Robert Mugabe both fought against racial injustice, both rising to become presidents of their countries.
But Mugabe became corrupt and ultimately made his country a much, much worse place.
Don't expect to see all the world leaders coming to pay their respects and praise your life you miserable sack of shiat, Mugabe.
Mugabe was celebrated as a liberator, and most were silent in their criticism because of the good he did about 34 years ago.
Hopefully the people will rise against the corruption of the Zanu-PF party now that there is no "past hero" at the helm.
I think Zimbabwe's going to get a lot worse before it gets better.
 
2014-01-05 06:30:31 PM
Yay, the figurehead is dead. This changes everynothing.

/fixed it for myself
 
2014-01-05 06:35:34 PM

indylaw: SHUT.

DOWN.

EVERYTHING.


came here for this.
/leaving satisfied
 
2014-01-05 06:42:23 PM

powerful katrinka: Interesting, I can't find this on any news site, no mention at all.


http://www.news.com.au/world/robert-mugabe-president-of-zimbabwe-has -c ollapsed/story-fndir2ev-1226795556601

Supposedly came from a Facbeook post from someone in the ruling party (heh, ruling parties in dictatorships, heh).

Because you know, believe everything that is posted on the internet.
 
2014-01-05 06:47:09 PM

I eat mop: indylaw: SHUT.

DOWN.

EVERYTHING.

came here for this.
/leaving satisfied


Wrong country. A bit across the ocean in this --------> direction.
 
2014-01-05 06:58:17 PM
Still no mention of this on any real news source.

Real nice "breaking news" blog you greenlit there, crapmins.
 
2014-01-05 07:33:16 PM
R.I.P. Robert Mondavi
graphics8.nytimes.com
 
2014-01-05 07:33:48 PM
So basically, not only is Mugabe still perfectly healthy, he'll probably be in power for another 20 to 30 years.
 
2014-01-05 07:58:01 PM

Satanic_Hamster: Still no mention of this on any real news source.

Real nice "breaking news" blog you greenlit there, crapmins.


The facebook guy "Baba Jukwa" has posted accurate information in the past. So much so that Mugabe offered a $US300,000 reward for the unmasking of Baba Jukwa.
 
2014-01-05 08:21:54 PM

GoldDude: Nelson Mandela and Robert Mugabe both fought against racial injustice, both rising to become presidents of their countries.
But Mugabe became corrupt


Became?

Horseshiat. He was ranting about establishing a Marxist state well before he seized power, then  started in with the genocide from the get-go.

Anyway, here's an oldie but a goodie:

This is an exciting time in our country's history and the history of the world, and we're delighted to have you, Mr. Prime Minister, here with us.

On all too rare occasions, there is achieved a result which thrills the entire world, based on decency, based on freedom, based on independence, based on equality, and based on human courage. The independence of Zimbabwe is the result of all those factors. And the small role that our Nation played in the support of these efforts for freedom and independence and for equality and for elimination of racial discrimination is indeed gratifying to me and to the 240 million people that I represent.

In the past few months and years, the leadership of people like Andy Young and Don McHenry in our country has helped to shape and to change opinion among the American populace in support of this notable achievement. And the admiration, Mr. Prime Minister, for your courage over long and sometimes lonely years under the most difficult possible circumstances is a feeling which I share with millions of Americans who admire you very deeply.

I want to congratulate you on the acceptance of Zimbabwe as a new member of the United Nations, on your tremendous speech on that occasion which exemplified the principles and ideals of your own life and also of proving already that you are the leader not only of a great new republic but a notable world leader exemplifying the finest aspects of humanity.


President Jimmy Carter, 1980

Obama, Bush, Reagan, Nixon, Kennedy, LBJ, they made their mistakes and then some, lying down with some major dirtballs for the sake of whatever the realpolitik of the time was...but NO American president can gravitate to evil and cover it with wet sloppy kisses quite like Jimmy Carter.
 
2014-01-05 08:53:30 PM
President of Zimbabwe Robert Mugabe has collapsed, possibly dead. UPDATE: or not

Sources say "yes?"
 
2014-01-05 08:57:44 PM
This is going to be bath of blood.
 
2014-01-05 09:26:12 PM

GoldDude: Talk about a study in contrasts.  Nelson Mandela and Robert Mugabe both fought against racial injustice, both rising to become presidents of their countries.
But Mugabe became corrupt and ultimately made his country a much, much worse place.
Don't expect to see all the world leaders coming to pay their respects and praise your life you miserable sack of shiat, Mugabe.
Mugabe was celebrated as a liberator, and most were silent in their criticism because of the good he did about 34 years ago.
Hopefully the people will rise against the corruption of the Zanu-PF party now that there is no "past hero" at the helm.
I think Zimbabwe's going to get a lot worse before it gets better.


http://austingmackell.wordpress.com/2013/12/06/stop-pretending-to-ca re -about-africans/
 
2014-01-05 09:31:05 PM

Gulper Eel: Horseshiat. He was ranting about establishing a Marxist state well before he seized power, then started in with the genocide from the get-go.


So that little PDF you referenced deals with a period of time from 1980 to 1988. Although it's well-known that Jimmy Carter is history's greatest monster, I believe someone else was president of the United States for most of that time. Are you sure that's the inference you intended us to make?
 
2014-01-05 09:45:07 PM

brantgoose: If you have gods, pray to them that this is a merciful end to decades of misrule, corruption, stupidity and malice.

He was one of the worst presidents ever. Compared to him, Jimmy Carter is not even remotely History's Greatest Monster, and Barrack Hussein Obama is not the intentional destroyer of America. Compared to Mugabe, Castro is a model of englightenment, and Chavèz a man of wisdom and charity. Compared to him, even George W. Bush, Jr. is not an Upper Class Twit and coke and booze benighted dumbass preppy.

Mugabe is the epitomy of all that is worst in African government and society. His economic and political policies make the GOP look like sensible men of virtue and valour.

Toss his stinking carcass to wild dogs and move on, Zimbabwe. You can't take much more of this kind of shiat. If your currency becomes any more valueless, you won't be able to sell it to paper recyclers. They won't take it to make egg cartons or toilet paper.


Doubt the wild dogs would have any interest in his stinking corpse. Vultures and hyenas MAYBE.
 
2014-01-05 11:37:29 PM
Greymalkin:
http://austingmackell.wordpress.com/2013/12/06/stop-pretending-to-ca re -about-africans/

Good point, South Africa ain't exactly a paradise.  But still worlds better than Zimbabwe, particularly when one considers that Rhodesia was actually the "breadbasket" of Africa with farmers producing more than enough food to feed everyone and was an exporter of food.  Chase away all the evil white farmers and turn the land over to Mugabe cronies that have no interest in actually working on a farm, and gosh why is everyone starving to death now?
 
2014-01-05 11:54:19 PM
So deth mugabe
very Zimbabwauy
much rejoice
 
2014-01-06 03:50:13 AM

theorellior: So that little PDF you referenced deals with a period of time from 1980 to 1988.


Yes, that was the period of the planning and execution of the Gukurahundi genocide. After he seized power in 1980. You think he was some kind of saint before then but evil Ronnie pushed him too far?
 
2014-01-06 04:29:43 AM
Apparently this rumor has been "causing concern among fans across the world":

http://en.mediamass.net/people/robert-mugabe/deathhoax.html
 
2014-01-06 06:16:09 AM

eurotrader: If Mugabe is dead that is the best news for Rhodesia in a long time. Maybe an sustainable economy can return and the destruction of the country can be stopped.


I recently read a long article in a Norwegian paper magazine (so no link), claiming that the Zimbabwian economy was actually doing relative fine.

Of the points made, was that whilst the redistribution of land did give a lot of it to Zanu-PF supporters. It still only amounted to 10-15%. The rest was truly given to the poor and landless as Mugabe promised.

Futhermore aggricultural production is consistently rising, though much of that is masked because the statistics always focus on the few crops the whitefarmers grew to export, rather than the myriad of traditional crops the new farmers are selling at the local market.
 
2014-01-06 08:36:30 AM
"They said he was inhumanly evil..."
076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcdn.com

"No!"
"Only our parents..."
 
2014-01-06 10:12:00 AM

vygramul: whither_apophis: vpb: BizarreMan: Wow, how many billions of Zimbabwe dollars will be spent on the funeral?

I think they will just cremate him by burning money.

About a dollars worth should do it.

Actually this is a good thing for the currency. The country can only improve.

/probably

Deflation is something that is, well, complex. I don't know if the right answer isn't just to replace the currency.


They did. Four years ago. They've been running on US Dollars and South African Rand for years.
 
2014-01-06 10:32:02 AM

SauceIT: Uncle Tractor: Prairie Phoenix: Why would anyone want to visit Zimbabwe at all any time?

[upload.wikimedia.org image 800x516]

[epicadventurer.com image 500x341]
[upload.wikimedia.org image 850x570]


Was there a few times in the late 1980's.


This. I was there in '09 and it's the most beautiful place I've ever laid eyes on. Apart from the bits full of human misery. The people are also the friendliest I've ever met. I went to a friend's house and her mother flat out refused to let me leave the house without a bag full of yams because I hadn't tried "true African yams". That country deserves so much better than it got.
 
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