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(USA Today)   Ancient Romans found to have eaten giraffe, parts of other animals usually thrown away, after first grinding then shaping the meats into a boneless, rib-shaped patty that was only allowed to be consumed during one holy month a year   (usatoday.com) divider line 30
    More: Repeat, ancient Romans, Animals, 3rd century BC  
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1861 clicks; posted to Geek » on 05 Jan 2014 at 5:35 PM (50 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-05 01:11:31 PM  
www.quickmeme.com

So, you're telling me apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health... that the Romans also gave us the McRib?
 
2014-01-05 03:12:28 PM  
www.jplegacy.org

"I've cloned an ancient Roman from Pompeiian sh*t!"
 
2014-01-05 03:32:40 PM  
fta "How part of the animal, butchered, came to be a kitchen scrap in a seemingly standard Pompeian restaurant not only speaks to long-distance trade in exotic and wild animals, but also something of the richness, variety and range of a non-elite diet."

Or a bunch of proto fratboys stole it from the zoo. Either way.
 
2014-01-05 03:48:17 PM  

Dahnkster: So, you're telling me apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health... that the Romans also gave us the McRib?


No, if the Romans had the McRib the Roman Empire would not have fallen.
 
2014-01-05 03:50:52 PM  

Lsherm: Dahnkster: So, you're telling me apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health... that the Romans also gave us the McRib?

No, if the Romans had the McRib the Roman Empire would not have fallen.


It would have been more of a rolling motion.
 
2014-01-05 04:20:15 PM  
uploads.neatorama.com
 
2014-01-05 05:33:35 PM  

Dahnkster: [www.quickmeme.com image 426x426]

So, you're telling me apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health... that the Romans also gave us the McRib?


Well, back then it was called the McCosta
 
2014-01-05 05:48:39 PM  
...lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...
 
2014-01-05 05:49:48 PM  
well they would slaughter exotic animals in the coliseum so it makes sense. My wife actually ate zebra in Luca.
 
2014-01-05 05:51:16 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Dahnkster: [www.quickmeme.com image 426x426]

So, you're telling me apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health... that the Romans also gave us the McRib?

Well, back then it was called the McCosta


Fact: the Cosa Nostra started out as the McCosta Nostra, with the sole charge of protecting the recipe to the secret sauce.
 
2014-01-05 05:54:45 PM  

edmo: [uploads.neatorama.com image 500x666]


And that's how he became The Burger King.
 
2014-01-05 06:06:05 PM  
The Romans also used a giraffe to enact punishment on one of their more prolific and notorious serial killers.  Death by giraffe rape.
 
2014-01-05 06:09:54 PM  
Waiter: An order of prime rib steak!

Chef:  We're out! Give the suckers some of the giraffe from yesterday's special.

Romans invented food forgery. Those recipes for mice in aspic were sold as ortolans in jelly.
 
2014-01-05 06:11:06 PM  
Fact: If slaughtered properly, giraffe meat is kosher!

076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcdn.com
 
2014-01-05 06:14:41 PM  

Fabric_Man: Fact: If slaughtered properly, giraffe meat is kosher!

[076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcd n .com image 561x370]


But you would need a 25 foot tall Rabbi!
 
2014-01-05 06:32:56 PM  

edmo: [uploads.neatorama.com image 500x666]


That's the most relevant and weird pic I've ever seen on FARK. My jaw literally dropped.

Well done!
 
2014-01-05 07:24:49 PM  
i once read an interesting article on the internets about how the McRib is really just one side of an arbitration scheme McDs likes to play, they either make money on pork belly contracts, or the end up having to take delivery on the pork bellys and then they make money selling McRibs... i dont recall all details, nor to i feel like finding it again, but it was an interesting glimpse into the backroom dealings of McDs, and the reason why the McRib is a temporary seasonalish type of product, which is that McDs doesnt really know when they will be on the take delivery side of their scheme or when they will just make money investing in the pork bellies and selling the contracts. iircc.
 
2014-01-05 07:29:05 PM  

SithLord: The Romans also used a giraffe to enact punishment on one of their more prolific and notorious serial killers.  Death by giraffe rape.


FEMALE serial killer named Locusta
 
2014-01-05 08:03:05 PM  

LikeALeafOnTheWind: i once read an interesting article on the internets about how the McRib is really just one side of an arbitration scheme McDs likes to play, they either make money on pork belly contracts, or the end up having to take delivery on the pork bellys and then they make money selling McRibs... i dont recall all details, nor to i feel like finding it again, but it was an interesting glimpse into the backroom dealings of McDs, and the reason why the McRib is a temporary seasonalish type of product, which is that McDs doesnt really know when they will be on the take delivery side of their scheme or when they will just make money investing in the pork bellies and selling the contracts. iircc.


That's reasonably brilliant.
 
2014-01-05 08:42:13 PM  

SurfaceTension: SithLord: The Romans also used a giraffe to enact punishment on one of their more prolific and notorious serial killers.  Death by giraffe rape.

FEMALE serial killer named Locusta


I was just reading about her the other day (poisoner, worked for a couple emperors, etc) and what struck me was one of the things I read stated the giraffe 'had been specially trained for this purpose'.

My brain came to a screeching halt about then.
 
2014-01-05 08:57:42 PM  
FA: "Indeed, the research contradicts the idea that less-wealthy Romans were a "mass of hapless lemmings" desperate for anything to eat. "

I had never heard of this idea. Sounds made up.
 
2014-01-05 09:07:45 PM  

Dahnkster: So, you're telling me apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health... that the Romans also gave us the McRib?


Cant be everyone knows the McRib was invented by a black Irishman.
 
2014-01-05 09:08:45 PM  

SurfaceTension: SithLord: The Romans also used a giraffe to enact punishment on one of their more prolific and notorious serial killers.  Death by giraffe rape.

FEMALE serial killer named Locusta


Really?

Locusta (or Lucusta) was notorious in Ancient Rome for her skill in concocting poisons.

According to ancient historians, in AD 54 Locusta was hired by Agrippina the Younger to supply a poisoned dish of mushrooms for the murder of Emperor Claudius. In 55, she was convicted of poisoning another victim, but Nero rescued her from execution and in return called upon her to supply poison to murder Britannicus. Nero rewarded her with a vast estate and even sent pupils to her. When Nero fled Rome, he acquired poison from Locusta for his own use, but ultimately died by other means. After Nero's suicide, Locusta was condemned to die by the emperor Galba during his brief reign, which ended 15 January AD 69.

Locusta's career is described by the ancient historians Tacitus (Annals 12.66 and 13.15), Suetonius ("Life of Nero", 33 and 47), and Cassius Dio (61.34 and 63.3). Juvenal also mentions Locusta in Book 1, line 71 of his Satires.[1]

In The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas the poisoner Madame de Villefort is frequently compared to Locusta and one of the chapters is entitled 'Locusta'.
 
2014-01-05 09:16:06 PM  
 
2014-01-05 09:23:48 PM  

doglover: Check your sources people.


It's fun to imagine, though, right? lol
 
2014-01-05 09:30:52 PM  
ong>SurfaceTension: doglover: Check your sources people.

It's fun to imagine, though, right? lol


The original story, and it is a story, is a poisoner wife who is condemned.

But the animal is an ass and the ass is actually a man magically transformed and searching the world over for a cure.

A man goes on a journey, leaving his pregnant wife and infant son. He commands his wife that if she bears a daughter, the child is to be killed. The child is indeed a daughter, and in pity, the mother convinces her poor neighbours to raise her. Her daughter grows up ignorant of her origin, and when she reaches a marriageable age, the mother tells her son to deliver her daughter's dowry. The son begins preparation to marry the girl off to a friend, and lets her into his home under the guise of her being an orphan to all but the two of them. His wife, however, is unaware the girl is his sister, and believes he keeps her as a mistress. His wife steals her husband's signet ring and visits their country home accompanied by a group of slaves. She sends a slave with the signet to fetch the girl and bring her to the country home. The girl, aware that the husband is her brother, responds immediately, and on arrival at the country home is flogged by the wife's slaves, and put to death by a torch placed 'between her thighs'. The girl's brother takes the news and falls gravely ill. Aware of suspicions around her, his wife asks a corrupt doctor for instant poison. Accompanied by the doctor, she brings the poison to her husband in bed. Finding him surrounded by friends, she first tricks the doctor into drinking from the cup to prove to her husband the drink is benign, and giving him the remainder. Unable to return home in time to seek an antidote, the doctor dies telling his wife what happened and to at least collect a payment for the poison. The doctor's widow asks for payment but first offers the wife the remainder of her husband's collection of poisons. Finding that her daughter is next of kin to her husband for inheritance, the wife prepares a poison for both the doctor's widow and her daughter. The doctor's widow recognizes early the symptoms of the poison and rushes to the Governor's Home. She tells the Governor the whole of the connected murders and dies. The wife is sentenced to death by wild beasts and to have public intercourse with Lucius the ass.
 
2014-01-05 10:54:35 PM  
Wolf nipple chips! Wolf nipple chips!
 
2014-01-05 11:48:10 PM  

edmo: [uploads.neatorama.com image 500x666]


I love that in the background you've got St Veronica holding up a veil with Jim Morrison's face on it.
 
2014-01-06 02:15:25 PM  

gas giant: Wolf nipple chips! Wolf nipple chips!


Cant' believe it took so long...

I know it is the obvious joke, but still...
 
2014-01-06 10:06:45 PM  

Lady Indica: edmo: [uploads.neatorama.com image 500x666]

That's the most relevant and weird pic I've ever seen on FARK. My jaw literally dropped.

Well done!


I'm still trying to figure out what it is with the Virgin Mary holding up a Jim Morrison T-shirt, in the background.
 
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