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(TMZ)   Katy Perry's tour rider reads like a hipster's Farmer's Market shopping list   (tmz.com) divider line 76
    More: Fail, Katy Perry, Mary J Blige, tour rider, guacamole, toilet seats, farmer's markets, TMZ  
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6981 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 05 Jan 2014 at 2:27 PM (28 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



76 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-05 09:01:43 AM
Disgusting.  Malbec?
 
2014-01-05 09:26:18 AM
Hey, she's not gonna keep that body by eating junk food.

In the scheme of things, that's a simple rider.
 
2014-01-05 09:36:01 AM
Actually sounds reasonable.  She isn't making them search for some obscure vegan wine or sort M&M's.


Wine, fruit and veggies, oh dear, hide the children...
 
2014-01-05 11:58:02 AM
Well that does it, I won't be booking her for my daughter's 3rd birthday party
 
2014-01-05 12:06:16 PM
I'll be Katy Perry's rider.

/sorry, low hanging fruit
 
2014-01-05 12:14:40 PM
Fresh fruit, veggies, tortilla chips, hummus, and guacamole? Sounds awesome.

Sh*t Katy, stop being a pussy and thrown in some roasted salsa.
 
2014-01-05 12:18:21 PM
Are there any melons on that rider? Cuz' I'm thinking about 'melons' and 'ride her'.
 
2014-01-05 12:19:26 PM
omg she likes fruit and veggies. the horror!
 
2014-01-05 12:31:26 PM

NickelP: omg she likes fruit and veggies. the horror!


And wanting vegetarian options to accommodate her crew! What a horrible person!
 
2014-01-05 12:34:02 PM

NickelP: omg she likes fruit and veggies. the horror!


Anybody who isn't fat is a hipster what thinks theys better than us.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-01-05 12:38:37 PM
When she demanded the pineapples be SLICED she lost my support. That sort of cruelty should not be tolerated.

Now pardon me I need to go back to the fridge and decide what to do with the bacon I have to eat before I go out of town.
 
2014-01-05 12:45:08 PM

ZAZ: When she demanded the pineapples be SLICED she lost my support. That sort of cruelty should not be tolerated.

Now pardon me I need to go back to the fridge and decide what to do with the bacon I have to eat before I go out of town.


Bacon lettuce and tomato sandwich
 
2014-01-05 12:46:54 PM
No this is a rider.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-01-05 12:50:32 PM
Metalupis

Do you seriously expect me to cut a helpless tomato and rip apart a lettuce head just to satisfy my hunger? I'm thinking I could slaughter and pulverize a couple baby chickens and mix in some spoiled cow secretions to go with the pig strips.
 
2014-01-05 12:53:22 PM

DeltaPunch: Fresh fruit, veggies, tortilla chips, hummus, and guacamole? Sounds awesome.

Sh*t Katy, stop being a pussy and thrown in some roasted salsa.


How do you roast salsa?
 
2014-01-05 12:54:30 PM

ZAZ: Metalupis

Do you seriously expect me to cut a helpless tomato and rip apart a lettuce head just to satisfy my hunger? I'm thinking I could slaughter and pulverize a couple baby chickens and mix in some spoiled cow secretions to go with the pig strips.


Its getting later in the day, add some seared cow muscle as well
 
2014-01-05 12:56:34 PM

Mugato: I'll be Katy Perry's rider.

/sorry, low hanging fruit


But is it organic fruit?
 
2014-01-05 01:06:03 PM
I catered a lot of concert back stage meals.
Patti Labelle cooked for everyone on the road when she toured, so her rider was a lot of pre-prepped stuff. Buckets of cleaned veggies, and simply prepped foods. Leftovers went to local food shelves.
What a gal.
 
2014-01-05 01:15:22 PM
The Foo Fighters have my favorite rider.
 
2014-01-05 01:16:03 PM

sigdiamond2000: NickelP: omg she likes fruit and veggies. the horror!

Anybody who isn't fat is a hipster what thinks theys better than us.


And everyone who is fat is disgusting and deserves to be ridiculed.  It's a conundrum....
 
2014-01-05 01:52:07 PM
Good heavens. That woman has  fascinating breasts.
 
2014-01-05 02:05:11 PM
I "fail" to see what the issue is here, submitter. You want to help us out here?
 
2014-01-05 02:16:31 PM
It reads like a decent snack spread.

Ahh, but this is Fark where the word hipster now means "everything I hate".
 
2014-01-05 02:23:10 PM
Why did someone feel compelled to give her pineapple boobs? Still in fourth grade?
 
2014-01-05 02:30:11 PM

shanrick: Why did someone feel compelled to give her pineapple boobs? Still in fourth grade?


Because they're delicious?

/Still in fourth grade.
 
2014-01-05 02:37:23 PM

skinbubble: The Foo Fighters have my favorite rider.


Came in for this.  Leaving satisfied.
 
2014-01-05 02:37:36 PM

Metalupis: ZAZ: When she demanded the pineapples be SLICED she lost my support. That sort of cruelty should not be tolerated.

Now pardon me I need to go back to the fridge and decide what to do with the bacon I have to eat before I go out of town.

Bacon lettuce and tomato sandwich


t2.gstatic.com
 
2014-01-05 02:39:16 PM
Ehh. I was expecting "organic Ahi tuna bites, raw goat's milk, dolphin-safe foie gras, etc. etc."

Kale? So what.
 
2014-01-05 02:40:34 PM
i.imgur.com

Steve Martin's rider is my personal favorite


"ARTIST RELATIONS
Venue must have Bela Fleck on speed dial, in case Steve's feeling lazy."
 
2014-01-05 02:43:08 PM
Yet I would still hit it.
 
2014-01-05 02:44:56 PM
A vegetarian option for dinner. This is clearly the most insane rider in history.
 
2014-01-05 02:46:17 PM

Mugato: No this is a rider.


TV/VCR? How old is that thing?
 
2014-01-05 02:52:38 PM
Sounds pretty awesome to me...
 
2014-01-05 02:55:14 PM
Sounds pretty good to me, though I do needs my hot-wings from time to time and the occasional steak.
 
2014-01-05 02:56:45 PM
That's the tamest fu*king rider ever.

She likes to have healthy snacks and a couple of bottles of tart fuel hooch around, what a horrible coont.
 
2014-01-05 02:57:32 PM
So people who aren't striving for diabetes are "hipster" now?
 
2014-01-05 02:58:11 PM

Metalupis: ZAZ: When she demanded the pineapples be SLICED she lost my support. That sort of cruelty should not be tolerated.

Now pardon me I need to go back to the fridge and decide what to do with the bacon I have to eat before I go out of town.

Bacon lettuce and tomato sandwich


What the hell is bacon lettuce?
 
2014-01-05 02:59:26 PM

Snapper Carr: [i.imgur.com image 356x266]

Steve Martin's rider is my personal favorite


"ARTIST RELATIONS
Venue must have Bela Fleck on speed dial, in case Steve's feeling lazy."


That was awesome.
 
2014-01-05 03:01:51 PM

TheGrayCat: Actually sounds reasonable.  She isn't making them search for some obscure vegan wine or sort M&M's.


Wine, fruit and veggies, oh dear, hide the children...


All wine is vegan.
 
2014-01-05 03:02:40 PM

the_rhino: Metalupis: ZAZ: When she demanded the pineapples be SLICED she lost my support. That sort of cruelty should not be tolerated.

Now pardon me I need to go back to the fridge and decide what to do with the bacon I have to eat before I go out of town.

Bacon lettuce and tomato sandwich

What the hell is bacon lettuce?


It's bacon cut to look like lettuce, of course.
 
2014-01-05 03:06:43 PM

LectertheChef: TheGrayCat: Actually sounds reasonable.  She isn't making them search for some obscure vegan wine or sort M&M's.


Wine, fruit and veggies, oh dear, hide the children...

All wine is vegan.


Actually it isn't, egg whites and gelatin are common fining agents
 
2014-01-05 03:08:35 PM

Metalupis: LectertheChef: TheGrayCat: Actually sounds reasonable.  She isn't making them search for some obscure vegan wine or sort M&M's.


Wine, fruit and veggies, oh dear, hide the children...

All wine is vegan.

Actually it isn't, egg whites and gelatin are common fining agents


I thought there was also some debate about whether yeast was an animal or not.
 
2014-01-05 03:09:45 PM
And why does this get a FAIL tag?  Is it because she isn't some fat ass that demands Pabst and greasy burgers?
 
2014-01-05 03:10:57 PM

Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: Metalupis: LectertheChef: TheGrayCat: Actually sounds reasonable.  She isn't making them search for some obscure vegan wine or sort M&M's.


Wine, fruit and veggies, oh dear, hide the children...

All wine is vegan.

Actually it isn't, egg whites and gelatin are common fining agents

I thought there was also some debate about whether yeast was an animal or not.


Hadn't heard that one, but I wouldn't put it past some of the more out there vegans
 
2014-01-05 03:14:13 PM
Christ, folks, you guys are letting be down. Now I have to search for Katy Perry animated gifs all on my own.

/love me some Elmo
 
2014-01-05 03:53:24 PM

BizarreMan: Hey, she's not gonna keep that body by eating junk food.

In the scheme of things, that's a simple rider.


it's only the catering part of the rider, not the whole thing.
 
2014-01-05 03:58:54 PM

Metalupis: LectertheChef: TheGrayCat: Actually sounds reasonable.  She isn't making them search for some obscure vegan wine or sort M&M's.


Wine, fruit and veggies, oh dear, hide the children...

All wine is vegan.

Actually it isn't, egg whites and gelatin are common fining agents


Wow, I learned something new today. I knew beer was normally vegan friendly, figured wine would be the same.
 
2014-01-05 04:01:11 PM

the_rhino: Metalupis: ZAZ: When she demanded the pineapples be SLICED she lost my support. That sort of cruelty should not be tolerated.

Now pardon me I need to go back to the fridge and decide what to do with the bacon I have to eat before I go out of town.

Bacon lettuce and tomato sandwich

What the hell is bacon lettuce?


An invention that would get me to start eating salads
 
2014-01-05 04:05:24 PM
Geez, who the hell cares? Oh, it's TMZ, therefore I am required to feel superior and envious of some celeb's curious mannerisms.
 
2014-01-05 04:11:15 PM
Cool. She's just like me. Eats healthy but drinks and smokes cigarettes.

Kind of a choose your own vices adventure.
 
2014-01-05 04:27:10 PM
That is the least objectionable rider I have ever seen made public.
 
2014-01-05 04:31:41 PM
Sounds like my fridge except for kale. I think it tastes like gritty dirt.

/definitely not a hipster
 
2014-01-05 04:38:18 PM

mialynneb: Sounds like my fridge except for kale. I think it tastes like gritty dirt.

/definitely not a hipster


Saute lightly or blanche it to get rid of that gross, waxy crunch.
 
2014-01-05 04:50:40 PM
Am I supposed to be outraged by this? Sounds pretty awesome.
 
2014-01-05 04:52:33 PM

Metalupis: ZAZ: When she demanded the pineapples be SLICED she lost my support. That sort of cruelty should not be tolerated.

Now pardon me I need to go back to the fridge and decide what to do with the bacon I have to eat before I go out of town.

Bacon lettuce and tomato sandwich


No need to girl it up.
 
2014-01-05 04:56:06 PM

LectertheChef: Metalupis: LectertheChef: TheGrayCat: Actually sounds reasonable.  She isn't making them search for some obscure vegan wine or sort M&M's.


Wine, fruit and veggies, oh dear, hide the children...

All wine is vegan.

Actually it isn't, egg whites and gelatin are common fining agents

Wow, I learned something new today. I knew beer was normally vegan friendly, figured wine would be the same.


Nope. Beer uses isinglass, a fining agent made from fish bladders.

If you claim to be a vegan and drink beer or wine, you're worse than Hitler.
 
2014-01-05 05:14:00 PM

abhorrent1: Disgusting.  Malbec?


Mendoza Malbecs are teh awesomes.
 
2014-01-05 05:26:57 PM
If any Farkers aren't acquainted with the riders assortment at The Smoking Gun, here you go:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/backstage
 
2014-01-05 06:02:56 PM

TheGrayCat: Actually sounds reasonable.  She isn't making them search for some obscure vegan wine or sort M&M's.


Wine, fruit and veggies, oh dear, hide the children...


Came here to say this.  Doesn't sound too unreasonable, just a bit on the "picky" side.
 
2014-01-05 06:12:32 PM
No demand that her personal boob adjuster be on stand-by?

img23.imageshack.us
 
2014-01-05 06:31:15 PM
I want to know that guy's career path so I can follow in his footsteps.
 
2014-01-05 06:36:19 PM

Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: mialynneb: Sounds like my fridge except for kale. I think it tastes like gritty dirt.

/definitely not a hipster

Saute lightly or blanche it to get rid of that gross, waxy crunch.


Thank you!
 
2014-01-05 06:58:04 PM

mialynneb: Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: mialynneb: Sounds like my fridge except for kale. I think it tastes like gritty dirt.

/definitely not a hipster

Saute lightly or blanche it to get rid of that gross, waxy crunch.

Thank you!


Washing it helps too
 
2014-01-05 07:38:41 PM

LectertheChef: Metalupis: LectertheChef: TheGrayCat: Actually sounds reasonable.  She isn't making them search for some obscure vegan wine or sort M&M's.


Wine, fruit and veggies, oh dear, hide the children...

All wine is vegan.

Actually it isn't, egg whites and gelatin are common fining agents

Wow, I learned something new today. I knew beer was normally vegan friendly, figured wine would be the same.


Also Isinglass is sometimes used with beer, and that is made from fish swim bladders.

But usually only cask beers nowadays, so no biggy
 
2014-01-05 09:09:49 PM
Is TMZ running out of stories?
 
2014-01-05 09:19:36 PM
This article reminds me of a quote from God Lemmy Kilmister about how boring the clean-living musicians of today are.

"It kills me how bland this period is... You go backstage these days and you see 20 bottles of Perrier and a bag of nuts. What's wrong with this farking picture? Everything is so healthy today and it's terrible. I don't get it... What the fark is it about John Mayer?... Someone should explain him to me. And the same goes for Justin Bieber. They're all such boring people. They're so farking serious. I'm not interested in people as boring as that. It's a shame these people are popular entertainers."

And after making that quote, I'm sure Lemmy did some speed, drank 5 or 6 Jack & Cokes, and nailed a few groupies.
 
2014-01-05 10:49:05 PM
That sounds like a perfectly reasonable rider. The toughest thing to get out of all that would be the basket of tropical fruit, and even that's not exactly hard to get in Vegas. TMZ is actually pitching a snit fit that Katy wants to eat healthy. God, no wonder the rest of us are fat.
 
2014-01-05 11:08:51 PM

Calmamity: That's the tamest fu*king rider ever.

She likes to have healthy snacks and a couple of bottles of tart fuel hooch around, what a horrible coont.


Well, I'd say the tamest rider is Selena Gomez, who asks for basically beverages (Gatorate, Diet Coke, water and tea), sandwich parts, and silverware to eat it with. Right behind her is Taylor Swift, who has a grocery list with nothing even remotely difficult to find on it and goes out of her way in her rider to tell you what edamame is and what aisle you can find it in.

But Katy is right in there.
 
2014-01-05 11:20:02 PM
If we are damning everyone with the hipster brush who eats a healthy, well-balanced diet, no wonder we have an obesity problem in this country.
 
2014-01-05 11:20:57 PM

mialynneb: Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: mialynneb: Sounds like my fridge except for kale. I think it tastes like gritty dirt.

/definitely not a hipster

Saute lightly or blanche it to get rid of that gross, waxy crunch.

Thank you!


Google a recipe for Kale chips.  They're easy to make and really tasty.
 
2014-01-05 11:58:35 PM

Kornchex: Google a recipe for Kale chips.  They're easy to make and really tasty.


They're not glorious potato chips, but kale chips really help curb the craving.
 
2014-01-06 12:00:54 AM
Can't believe it took this long...

Rider? I hardly know her!
 
2014-01-06 01:41:43 AM

LectertheChef: Metalupis: LectertheChef: TheGrayCat: Actually sounds reasonable.  She isn't making them search for some obscure vegan wine or sort M&M's.


Wine, fruit and veggies, oh dear, hide the children...

All wine is vegan.

Actually it isn't, egg whites and gelatin are common fining agents

Wow, I learned something new today. I knew beer was normally vegan friendly, figured wine would be the same.


Some hardcore vegans won't even eat regular sugar in case the sugar was processed with charcoal that might have included animal bones.

What the fark are they going to do when they realize all dirt has decomposed animal parts in it, is what I'm wondering.
 
2014-01-06 04:19:24 AM
Two pictures in the thread and one is M&M's? What happened to you, Fark?
 
2014-01-06 09:29:39 AM
At least she lets the peons look her in the eyes.

/As difficult as that must be.
 
2014-01-06 12:51:49 PM
img.fark.net

Still the best.
 
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