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(New York Daily News)   Identification of 1846 Abraham Lincoln mystery letter finally solved after researchers give it their best shot   ( divider line
    More: Followup, Abraham Lincoln, State Journal-Register  
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9020 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jan 2014 at 10:10 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2014-01-04 10:41:31 PM  
2 votes:
All the researcher had to do was read the salutation.

"Dear Penthouse,

I never thought I would be writing you, let alone penning this letter using my friend Lemuel's bare ass as a lap desk..."
2014-01-04 10:19:23 PM  
2 votes:
Did the letter confirm Honest Abe's bisexuality?
2014-01-04 08:11:00 PM  
2 votes:
2014-01-04 11:57:53 PM  
1 vote:
Dear Mother,

I arrived in the Big City and everything is fine. My time machine is working well, in fact, so well that President Obama of the 21st Century wishes to borrow it to destroy America. He has promised me the N****** vote for the next 200 years if I free the slaves to make this country a place that no white man today living would recognize. Mr. Obama is, himself, if you will credit it, a gentleman of the ebony persuasion himself, although he looks rather mulatto to me. Nonetheless American citizens have twice elected him their President and we must humbly abide by their wisdom and druthers, for the vice of the people is the voice of God (and the American electorate are a vicious lot if I know anything about the bastards).

Mr. Biden, who is Barrack's Vice-President, tells me that he is cleanly and well-spoken Black Gentleman and that this is a Big Farking Deal. Big Farking Deal! I replied. Many of the house N******s in our Southern States dress and speak like gentlemen but they are liable to have the fundaments whipped if they do not mind their masters and mistresses.

I am very tempted to take Barrack's offer. Two hundred years of N****** votes for the Republicans would make this a great country if I don't get killed by those rascally Southern Democrats for depriving them of $4,500,000,000 of two-legged mahagony. That is some mighty tetchy politics right their. The American people, even in the South, would sell their grandmothers into whoredom for a wheat penny (that's a penny with my picture on it!) Imagine that. Tom Jefferson gets a nickel and I get only a red cent without so much as a buffalo or an Injun on the other side.

Oh, well, sic semper me.
2014-01-04 11:12:50 PM  
1 vote:
"Dear Henry, last night with you was bliss. I fear my.. orgasm has left me a cripple. I don't how how I shall get over it. I love
you madly."
2014-01-04 11:09:58 PM  
1 vote:
They gave it their what?
2014-01-04 11:07:35 PM  
1 vote:
Mister Lincoln.
I regret that we cannot publish your poem about a future president of color.
My newspaper is not in the business of publishing fantasy.
The only way such a thing could happen is if women were given the vote.
2014-01-04 10:36:28 PM  
1 vote:
letter that had went gone unidentified for 25 years.

FTFY, copyeditard.
2014-01-04 10:30:09 PM  
1 vote:
Too soon for Lincoln...can't do Lincoln.
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