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(WFTV Orlando)   Deputies work on figuring out whether man was intoxicated when he drove his car into a lake Friday evening... while naked. Subby is eager to hear other explanations, besides the tag   (wftv.com) divider line 21
    More: Florida, 25th Street, lakes  
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1456 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jan 2014 at 10:34 AM (42 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



21 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-04 09:25:14 AM  
Let he who hasn't tried to recreate the last moments of Mary Jo Kopechne cast the first stone.
 
2014-01-04 09:40:59 AM  
Deputies said there were two other people in the car, but they were not hurt.

But were they naked?

/Relevant detail has been omitted from this narrative
 
2014-01-04 10:37:15 AM  
No, the driver wasn't intoxicated, his car wanted to go for a swim.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-01-04 10:43:01 AM  
Where's the big mystery? The car wash was closed and he didn't want to get his clothes wet. We've all been there, right?
 
2014-01-04 10:52:15 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Deputies said there were two other people in the car, but they were not hurt.

But were they naked?

/Relevant detail has been omitted from this narrative


That's what I was wondering, who were the people in the car with Mr. Natural, and what's their story.  Was it a case of surprise nakedness, followed by surprise car diving or were they just too farked up to give a shiat.
 
2014-01-04 10:53:06 AM  
Subby, you would be a lot happier with yourself and your life if you weren't so judgmental.  If you've honestly never found yourself in a position of driving your car into a lake while you were naked, words alone will never be able to explain what it feels like.  Being naked and driving your car into a lake is a very personal life choice, and it's a choice that different people from all walks of life make for very different reasons.
 
2014-01-04 10:54:26 AM  
When I was a teenager, my parents frequently talked to me about drinking and driving.

They sometimes bragged about drugs as well.
 
2014-01-04 11:14:18 AM  

MrHappyRotter: Subby, you would be a lot happier with yourself and your life if you weren't so judgmental.  If you've honestly never found yourself in a position of driving your car into a lake while you were naked, words alone will never be able to explain what it feels like.  Being naked and driving your car into a lake is a very personal life choice, and it's a choice that different people from all walks of life make for very different reasons.


This must be some kind "condition".  We should form an organization to provide support for these unfortunates.  Of course, we'll need to raise money to do this good work, so we will have to secure donations from the public. Oh yeah, we'll need to be well compensated, so it will be in everybody's interest, if we raise as much money as possible.   Is Sally Surthers still around?  She could stand beside a car, freshly pulled out of some body of water, with a naked guy behind the wheel and two mopes in the back seat, and blubber about how people must send money NOW to prevent this from ever happening again.  I foresee fat stacks in our future, MrHappyRotter.  Contact me.
 
2014-01-04 11:15:43 AM  
If he'd been attacked by an alligator as well, that would have been a Florida tag trifecta. In and of itself.
 
2014-01-04 11:17:00 AM  
Localized reverse Rapture, the clothes were called to heaven while the guy stayed behind.  Natural causes.
 
2014-01-04 11:19:13 AM  
Dong, where is my automobile?
 
2014-01-04 11:21:19 AM  
His clothes were magically whisked away by the Clothes Fairy.

s2.thisnext.com

DAMN YOU,  CLOTHES FAIRY!!!
 
2014-01-04 11:50:39 AM  
Retard car wash?
 
2014-01-04 12:01:56 PM  
Better than getting a dislocated elbow?

i8.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-04 12:08:15 PM  
"The senator, while insisting he was not intoxicated, could not explain his nudity."
 
2014-01-04 12:32:42 PM  

Barovelli: Better than getting a dislocated elbow?

[i8.photobucket.com image 640x430]


What was the name that the Native American's gave to him, again?  Oh yeah, "Douchebag, who makes stupid movies".
 
2014-01-04 12:34:31 PM  
This was in Florida, eh?

Then he was trying to go cave scuba diving, and figured his odds of survival were roughly the same as if he had gotten certified, bought equipment, taken lessons, and put on the equipment before getting into the water.
 
2014-01-04 01:17:33 PM  
Ok.. how about he was abducted by aliens. About halfway through what aliens usually do to abductees (after dunking him in the tube filled with that water that you can breathe in), there was a timey-wimey disturbance thingy and their ship got all jostled and the big tube of nutrient brine of whatever broke so it got icky brine all over the inside of the ship and abductee clothes as well as alien electronics and the big gray alien leader's shiny jumpsuit... all soaked. They decide to dump the guy back on earth and punch in the coordinates but instead of making the hyperspace jump at the asteroid formerly known as Pluto, they miscalculated and ended up in the kitchen of a pizza joint. Now, they had been watching episodes of Seinfeld on their videoscilloscope things (or whatever aliens watch TV on) and got the idea to dry the guy's clothes in the pizza oven except they got the setting wrong. So clothes and the leader's shiny suit all burned to a crisp. The aliens give up and just decide to put the naked guy in a car and shove it in a lake.

How did the aliens get the car in the first place? That's a very interesting story for another time!
 
2014-01-04 01:40:28 PM  

Needlessly Complicated: Ok.. how about he was abducted by aliens. About halfway through what aliens usually do to abductees (after dunking him in the tube filled with that water that you can breathe in), there was a timey-wimey disturbance thingy and their ship got all jostled and the big tube of nutrient brine of whatever broke so it got icky brine all over the inside of the ship and abductee clothes as well as alien electronics and the big gray alien leader's shiny jumpsuit... all soaked. They decide to dump the guy back on earth and punch in the coordinates but instead of making the hyperspace jump at the asteroid formerly known as Pluto, they miscalculated and ended up in the kitchen of a pizza joint. Now, they had been watching episodes of Seinfeld on their videoscilloscope things (or whatever aliens watch TV on) and got the idea to dry the guy's clothes in the pizza oven except they got the setting wrong. So clothes and the leader's shiny suit all burned to a crisp. The aliens give up and just decide to put the naked guy in a car and shove it in a lake.

How did the aliens get the car in the first place? That's a very interesting story for another time!


Have you been reading my diary?
 
2014-01-04 03:13:55 PM  
Maybe he was stuck in the springs and was hoping the water would loosen things...
 
2014-01-04 09:37:09 PM  
FTFA: Deputies said there were two other people in the car, but they were not hurt.

His mother and sister?
 
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