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( Boobies Christina Aguilera likes girls more than boys and nudity more than clothes (not safe for work)   ( divider line 297
    More: Boobies  
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913269 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jan 2004 at 1:08 AM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

297 Comments   (+0 »)

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2004-01-27 03:05:01 AM  

Flattering as the offer is - I am a guy but to prevent you from catching the ghey and as a consolation prize I will pass your profile along to a couple rather cute single girls that I know. As they are in their mid-20s the age gap might be a little uncomfortable for you but considering Michelle 'accidentally' let a 19 year old boy take her home on Friday night Im sure you can work something out. Just make sure your dad isnt sitting on the front porch on Saturday morning because that made Michelle just a little uncomfortable too...
2004-01-27 03:10:52 AM  

funniest thing i read in a while....
2004-01-27 03:11:50 AM  
I think she's cute.

There, I have voiced my opinion on this beacon of democracy.
2004-01-27 03:28:20 AM  
God damn celebrities and their urge to create an "image" for marketability. Drop the microphone, and you can't tell her from a prostitute.
2004-01-27 03:38:53 AM  
does it really matter. she is a marketing image, and we are talking about her. mission accomplished. at least she does try a new look, though
2004-01-27 04:06:33 AM  
and the guy that played Todd in Boogie Night

what the hell was his name? he was like the main guy in deep blue sea sort of christopher lambert lookin

/still all man, baby
/wishes I were Sam Elliot or Billy Bob
2004-01-27 04:16:53 AM  
Do the whole 8ball at once Juansmith?
2004-01-27 04:21:21 AM  
hubiestubert would hit it.
2004-01-27 04:27:21 AM  
I'm all for female empowerment, but I don't think Christina knows what the fark is going on. She acts if she's the first woman to "experiment with her sexuality" - which is so farking pretentious when you probably don't really mean it. Want to impress me, Christina? Come out and say you're a furrie! Rock Hollywood! You have a fat guy fetish! You masturbate to Richard Simmons "Rocking to the Oldies" volume 1 and 3!

She has great vocals though.
2004-01-27 04:27:49 AM  
I think my monitor got syphillis from looking at those pics.
2004-01-27 04:36:12 AM  
this just in...
in an effort to stay ahead of the one-upmanship of post-mousketeer rivalry, christina has decided to "further explore her sexuality" by jetting to the middle of backwoods NC and having sex with regular fat old farker mrcaffeine

she dares britney and jessica simpson to try to beat her to it.

mrcaffeine was unavailable for comment as he has retreated to the gym just in case any of the three actually show up

mrcaffeine's ex-wife was unavailable for comment because she can't stop laughing
2004-01-27 04:36:59 AM  
2004-01-27 01:54:04 AM LexRockhard

...same story....
2004-01-27 04:40:21 AM  
Now, not to interrupt the flame-waredness going on here, but just keep in mind guys (laides too) that we are all here because we like FARK, and that pretty much means we like the internet boobies (weeners), surfing, funny stuff, and anything else that you like (because we might like it too). This is a place to come together, and yes, we are all going to have those few differences where we feel like flaming the hell out of each other, but keep in mind (obove all other things) that we probably would all get along great if we were in a room together. So before you make those "Your such a freaking faggot loser" comments, just think, that person could actually be a great friend, with just different opinions on THIS subject. Carry on.

Brother against brother, but brothers against cousin...and everyone against Bush.
2004-01-27 04:43:15 AM  
I'd do it...

But you would be surprized just who i'd do..
2004-01-27 04:47:32 AM  
I'm with enjoycocaine
If we were to join forces, we'd be like some hyperactive, tweaked out super duo and would rule farkistan

I wonder if there's any farkers with "meth" in their name? We could be like the "Legion of Tweakers" and we could battle all the farkers hooked on downers.

/or at least outrun them
2004-01-27 05:03:23 AM  
2004-01-27 05:07:59 AM  
Wow either you are a slow reader, or you where so pissed at my comment that you hit the enter key too fast hah! (cause you made separate comments btw)

Anyways I know I am a real woman and I don't see how Christina Aguilera is hurting my status as one, actually you sound like the one with the feminist crap heh.

I am not a impressionable woman so if Christina or Britney or whoever the fark wants to appear skanky or slutty I think that is their issue but I don't get all worked up about it saying that hurts the female image, actually now that I am writing that it makes me laugh cause it sounds so darn stupid. Impressionable people shouldn't be reading fark anyways, she has nice boobies she wants to show them MORE POWER TO HER (not in the feminazzy kind of way, just clearing)
2004-01-27 05:08:47 AM  
*Britney is standing outside of the closet with a 9 iron, poised to strike...*
2004-01-27 05:10:44 AM  
And I say, "More power to YOU, kittypoo"!

/can I see your boobies, now?
2004-01-27 05:19:23 AM  
...with the Lord as my co-pilot, I'd hit it.
2004-01-27 05:20:45 AM  
I like Xtina. You've got to admire someone who never leaves the house unless she looks like she walked straight out of Blade Runner.

"I've seen things you wouldn't believe..."
2004-01-27 05:22:20 AM  
I want more life, fcucker
2004-01-27 05:55:37 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

"Lemme tell you something... that kid's gay"
2004-01-27 06:06:54 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

She so skanky, she so hot nonetheless, me so horny.
2004-01-27 06:11:10 AM  
I guess me and Christina DO have something in common.
2004-01-27 06:11:57 AM  
Wow, I never knew you guys were such Puritans.

Tell me, what makes one half-naked girl a skank and another not? Is it the fact that she dyes her hair? Is it the black stuff on her eyes? Would you prefer she dress in a maid's outfit or something equally lame and boring?

Seriously, I don't get it. I don't see why dressing to be blatantly sexy (epecially when you've got such a nice body) is such a crime.
2004-01-27 06:15:37 AM  
I love Christina and couldn't care less what a bunch of fickle cube jockeys think of her........

Pop your Celine Dion disk in and leave Christina alone.
2004-01-27 06:20:41 AM  
I don't like Christina, she's not my type. But I understand it's her right to dress like a underage Bangkok ho, and by God I'll defend that right to the bitter end!
2004-01-27 06:31:00 AM  
GIS for "ow my eyes": [image from too old to be available]
2004-01-27 06:37:05 AM  
Does anyone else find it ambiguous that the title says "Christina Aguilera nude and topless"? If you're nude, doesn't that necessarily mean you're topless?
2004-01-27 06:42:30 AM  

Good voice, good booty.

My girlfriend and I would both hit it.

2004-01-27 06:52:48 AM  
Tell me, what makes one half-naked girl a skank and another not? Is it the fact that she dyes her hair? Is it the black stuff on her eyes? Would you prefer she dress in a maid's outfit or something equally lame and boring?

Im willing to take a shot at deconstructing this:

1. Her hair looks like its been a couple of weeks since its seen a bar of soap, let alone shampoo. Last time I saw a girl with hair like that I could smell her from the far side of the ferry. On the outside of the ferry.

2. Make up should enhance a girl's natural features, not completely replace them. Her eyebrows appear to be completely drawn on not containing any actual hair, something that is normally only seen on grandmas.

3. Nudity or the clothing really isnt the issue. Although red boots with fishnet stockings are hopefully only seen on prostitutes in Amsterdam.

Im sure others have more to add...
2004-01-27 07:10:42 AM  
I want to find her attractive, and sometimes do, but she often seems to go to great lengths to intentionally make herself look like a cheap prostitute. A (still apparently intentionally) dirty one. She'd look alot better IMO if she'd rewind a couple years and stop going out of her way to look like a skank that would shag you behind the dumpster for a stick of gum and a cig.
2004-01-27 07:18:28 AM  
Apparently some people like to read into things a little too much.

Cuz.. you know.. i'm a femnazi :P
2004-01-27 07:26:20 AM  

trust me...she has no chance of stealing my girlfriend from me.

if i had a girlfriend.

or if i was even a lesbian.
2004-01-27 07:36:15 AM  
I swear, nobody else could ruin themselves if they tried. Heroin anyone?
2004-01-27 07:45:19 AM  




Countdown until she does 'Blacks on Blondes" video...
2004-01-27 07:51:54 AM  
I think it's rather entertaining that she would now comes back with "I'd rather have kissed Brittany" like she wanted to fark her on stage. Fact is that Brittany got all the positive buzz there was to be had for the "Madonna kissing episode", and people basically forget that Christina was even there. Maybe this is her attempt to turn things around. Maybe we'll get lucky next week and Brittany will reveal in a "candid" interview the reason she broke off her wedding with that guy from her hometown is that she realized she was in love in Christina. *shrug*

To me Christina is in danger of becoming the female Michael Jackson. Well actually the *anti-Michael*. She started out this fair skinned, blonde haired gal. Now when I see her, her hair is dyed black and her skin looks like somebody left her in the tanning booth several days too long--or maybe she just uses too much skin bronzer--whatever it looks unnatural. Also, I don't know who her personal trainer is, but "bulking up for tour" in my mind doesn't mean you fatten up your client--you have them build endurance muscle and make sure the concert venues provide your client with something other than Twinkees and regular Mountain Dew to wash them down. Maybe she wants to turn herself into Oprah Winfrey. An Oprah Winfrey who's bisexual and sings. Or maybe she just wants to be Missy Elliot. Feh.

Good Advise: Just don't be messing with any 12 year old girls Christina. The authorities generally frown upon that. Also, I understand that a certain ranch with a fully equipped zoo and carnival rides will be coming up for sale soon. Avoid purchasing it.

2004-01-27 08:00:59 AM  
the next question, logically, is to ask whether she stole an ex-boyfriend of yours. because i just don't see the need to get so wound up over some girl you've never met, will probably never deal with, and whom your current boyfriend will never meet and/or deal with. and that, ms lauren, is most likely what the good dr toast was referring to.

when christina or britney does the "innocent slut" thing it often turns out differently than when your own 16-year-old daughter does the "innocent slut" thing.

burkazoid seemed to be making a point that if enough "real life" women start acting like christina, that skews the expectations of "real life" men and makes it more difficult for "real life" women who are not like that.
2004-01-27 08:03:30 AM  

She's a skank 'cos someone SAID she is. Isn't that all the criteria required in a Jr. High School?

I think we're seeing a bit of sour grapes from guys who will never get any closer than they are right now to someone who looks that good. :)
2004-01-27 08:03:47 AM  
1. it's all marketing, it always is. even if it happens to be true - she's only talking about it for marketing value.

2. she was 20x hotter when she had eyebrows.

3. either way, i'd hit it till i broke it off.
2004-01-27 08:04:35 AM  
Skank...but in a sexy kinda way on some level...she has a great voice, dont know why she resorts to this kind of thing to sell records.
2004-01-27 08:08:54 AM  
2004-01-27 08:24:22 AM  
2004-01-27 08:27:33 AM  
sigh... if only she were attractive.
2004-01-27 08:30:15 AM  
I'd Hit it...twice
2004-01-27 08:33:14 AM  
I always find it the "I'd not hit it with my dog's dick" comments funny. Face it people, almost all of y'all (men) would would hit it, (I'm sure it looks better than the first piece of tail you got) and more than a few of the women too.
/ we need more urine in the fog machine
2004-01-27 08:45:38 AM  
"I have casual sex, I love casual sex. But that doesn`t mean I`m incapable of keeping my legs together," she added

Maybe it's my midwestern naivete coming into play here, but I think that does mean you can't keep your legs together.
2004-01-27 08:50:52 AM  
Axisted Is that the hottest man alive, Mr. Maurice Bernard from GH? Yowza!!
2004-01-27 08:56:15 AM  
radiofreewill-- It's your midwestern naivete. There's a difference between wanting to have sex with a lot of people and being willing to have sex with anyone.
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