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(KCCI Des Moines)   When your breathalyser reading just says "Hi" you know you're in deep shiat with the police. Also, your liver   (kcci.com) divider line 79
    More: Stupid, bus drivers, livers  
•       •       •

8977 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jan 2014 at 6:10 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



79 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-03 05:12:04 PM  
Say "Hi" to your liver for me.
 
2014-01-03 05:20:23 PM  
Holy crap.  .467?  How was he even conscious?
 
2014-01-03 05:52:45 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Holy crap.  .467?  How was he even conscious?


Functional alcoholic. Or perhaps autopilot alcoholic!
 
2014-01-03 05:54:49 PM  
So basically the cop forgot to write down the actual number.
 
2014-01-03 06:12:25 PM  

RedPhoenix122: So basically the cop forgot to write down the actual number.


That's what I assumed as well.
 
2014-01-03 06:12:34 PM  
Your honor, the breathalyser was merely greeting my client.
 
2014-01-03 06:13:06 PM  
KCRG reported that the highest BAC believed to ever be recorded in Johnson County was registered in 2012 when a 24-year-old man's blood showed a 0.627.

That's just the county record? Good lord! I remember when I was younger we always believed 0.5 was death.
 
2014-01-03 06:13:08 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Holy crap.  .467?  How was he even conscious?


I dunno, man. The drunkest I've ever been and measured it was a .24 and I felt like I was going to die.
 
2014-01-03 06:14:11 PM  
"I was sober when I wrecked the car, judge, I swear. Just when I got home I DOWNED some hard alcohol."
 
2014-01-03 06:15:43 PM  

you are a puppet: That's just the county record?


Probably the state record as well. Johnson County = University of Iowa.
 
2014-01-03 06:16:29 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Holy crap.  .467?  How was he even conscious?


Likely poor testing methods or calibration.  When it comes to measuring BAC, I wouldn't believe anything but a blood test.
 
2014-01-03 06:16:51 PM  

impaler: Your honor, the breathalyser was merely greeting my client.


That was my first thought as well. When the breathalyser greets you by name however...
 
2014-01-03 06:17:24 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Holy crap.  .467?  How was he even conscious?


Ok, someone tell me if I am wrong. I have heard that if someone is taking drugs, say a stimulant and drinks, they can drink far more and stay conscious longer then someone who have not taken drugs and drinks.
 
2014-01-03 06:18:26 PM  
You've really only got to worry when the breathalyzer returns a PC LOAD LETTER message.
 
2014-01-03 06:19:27 PM  

you are a puppet: KCRG reported that the highest BAC believed to ever be recorded in Johnson County was registered in 2012 when a 24-year-old man's blood showed a 0.627.

That's just the county record? Good lord! I remember when I was younger we always believed 0.5 was death.


It is, but people can build up a tolerance. Just like iocane powder.
 
2014-01-03 06:19:56 PM  

MrHappyRotter: You've really only got to worry when the breathalyzer returns a PC LOAD LETTER message.


what the fark does that even mean?
 
2014-01-03 06:23:05 PM  

cretinbob: MrHappyRotter: You've really only got to worry when the breathalyzer returns a PC LOAD LETTER message.

what the fark does that even mean?


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PC_LOAD_LETTER
 
2014-01-03 06:23:19 PM  
His liver must've morphed into a organic flask.
 
2014-01-03 06:23:41 PM  

netweavr: you are a puppet: KCRG reported that the highest BAC believed to ever be recorded in Johnson County was registered in 2012 when a 24-year-old man's blood showed a 0.627.

That's just the county record? Good lord! I remember when I was younger we always believed 0.5 was death.

It is, but people can build up a tolerance. Just like iocane powder.


Inconceivable!
 
2014-01-03 06:23:47 PM  
Breathalyzers aren't that accurate.  Probably blew through the gauge too much.  My portable breathalyzer has the same problem.  It can't get a good reading with too little or too much air - needs to be just right.  I'd demand a blood reading if I were this guy.
 
2014-01-03 06:24:42 PM  
I remember years ago when i was on the job, i rolled up to a upside down suv in the middle of the road. I turned on my lights, and saw that there was nobody inside it. As i was waiting for the tow truck to arrive, some drunken asshole walked up and said it was his car, and that after he lost control "trying to avoid a dog" and hitting a telephone pole, he was so freaked out and scared, that he walked to a local bar and had 6 shots of whiskey. I couldn't arrest him, as there was NO way to prove how drunk he was before the accident.

/smart move on his part, at least he didn't hurt anyone or anyone's property.

//very lucky.
 
2014-01-03 06:24:58 PM  

MrHappyRotter: You've really only got to worry when the breathalyzer returns a PC LOAD LETTER message.


Does this violate Fark's policy on calling out a user not present in the thread?
 
2014-01-03 06:26:50 PM  

spiderpaz: MrHappyRotter: You've really only got to worry when the breathalyzer returns a PC LOAD LETTER message.

Does this violate Fark's policy on calling out a user not present in the thread?


It depends, does he drink?
 
2014-01-03 06:27:38 PM  

jayfurr: cretinbob: MrHappyRotter: You've really only got to worry when the breathalyzer returns a PC LOAD LETTER message.

what the fark does that even mean?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PC_LOAD_LETTER


WTF was that noise overhead?
 
2014-01-03 06:28:39 PM  

cretinbob: MrHappyRotter: You've really only got to worry when the breathalyzer returns a PC LOAD LETTER message.

what the fark does that even mean?


If it ever happens to you, you'll understand, Amigo.
 
2014-01-03 06:29:09 PM  

jayfurr: cretinbob: MrHappyRotter: You've really only got to worry when the breathalyzer returns a PC LOAD LETTER message.

what the fark does that even mean?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PC_LOAD_LETTER


i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-01-03 06:31:34 PM  
Hi yourself, you sexy breathalyzer....wow, these beer goggles really work. Why is the room spinning around?
 
2014-01-03 06:32:14 PM  
You might also have isuses if your Breathalyzer says, "How YOU doin'?"
 
2014-01-03 06:33:41 PM  
Police said Carter told them he drank two Bud Lights and admitting to driving home.


What he failed to mention is that each of those Bud Lights was a pony keg.
 
2014-01-03 06:36:51 PM  

DigitalCoffee: Police said Carter told them he drank two Bud Lights and admitting to driving home.


What he failed to mention is that each of those Bud Lights was a pony keg.


If you tried to get to .467 by drinking Bud Light, you'd probably die from water intoxication first.
 
2014-01-03 06:44:10 PM  

Bit'O'Gristle: I remember years ago when i was on the job, i rolled up to a upside down suv in the middle of the road. I turned on my lights, and saw that there was nobody inside it. As i was waiting for the tow truck to arrive, some drunken asshole walked up and said it was his car, and that after he lost control "trying to avoid a dog" and hitting a telephone pole, he was so freaked out and scared, that he walked to a local bar and had 6 shots of whiskey. I couldn't arrest him, as there was NO way to prove how drunk he was before the accident.

/smart move on his part, at least he didn't hurt anyone or anyone's property.

//very lucky.


Couldn't you ask him which bar he went into, then ask the bartender and witnesses to corroborate/refute his story?
 
2014-01-03 06:45:09 PM  
Semi-related note: I was in BevMo the other day and noticed they sell breathalyzers. Are those new or am I old? Are they accurate?
 
2014-01-03 06:48:53 PM  

fusillade762: jayfurr: cretinbob: MrHappyRotter: You've really only got to worry when the breathalyzer returns a PC LOAD LETTER message.

what the fark does that even mean?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PC_LOAD_LETTER

[i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]



i1301.photobucket.com

Just wait until he sees the judge!
 
2014-01-03 06:49:39 PM  

NorCalLos: Bit'O'Gristle: I remember years ago when i was on the job, i rolled up to a upside down suv in the middle of the road. I turned on my lights, and saw that there was nobody inside it. As i was waiting for the tow truck to arrive, some drunken asshole walked up and said it was his car, and that after he lost control "trying to avoid a dog" and hitting a telephone pole, he was so freaked out and scared, that he walked to a local bar and had 6 shots of whiskey. I couldn't arrest him, as there was NO way to prove how drunk he was before the accident.

/smart move on his part, at least he didn't hurt anyone or anyone's property.

//very lucky.

Couldn't you ask him which bar he went into, then ask the bartender and witnesses to corroborate/refute his story?


Maybe he actually went to a bar and had 6 shots... that would be pretty clever, I suppose.
 
2014-01-03 06:49:50 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Holy crap.  .467?  How was he even conscious?


Alcohol affects people differently.  That's why BAC as a measure of 'drunkenness' is stupid.  Alcoholics hit the "omg death" range as a nightly exercise.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_alcohol_content#Highest_recorded_ bl ood_alcohol_level.2Fcontent
 
2014-01-03 06:55:10 PM  
"HI" is the postal abbreviation for Hawaii. The breathalyzer just wants a vacation.
 
2014-01-03 06:57:32 PM  
If you blow .467, it means the cop doesn't know how to operate the equipment properly.
 
2014-01-03 07:06:13 PM  
It could be worse.

i.imgur.com
Link
 
2014-01-03 07:09:11 PM  
I work in a hospital. It's not uncommon to see .4s and .5s at all. This would kill any motal being, but these are alcoholics that would probably die if they stopped drinking ( cold turkey, w/o medical supervision).
 
2014-01-03 07:09:57 PM  
content7.flixster.com

"They ain't gonna break up the family, Hi"
 
2014-01-03 07:11:55 PM  
it's a good thing they never stopped me stumbling home from joe's place or the deadwood or whatever other dimly lit saloon I found myself in

Me and my liver miss you, Iowa city
 
2014-01-03 07:24:02 PM  

Bit'O'Gristle: I remember years ago when i was on the job, i rolled up to a upside down suv in the middle of the road. I turned on my lights, and saw that there was nobody inside it. As i was waiting for the tow truck to arrive, some drunken asshole walked up and said it was his car, and that after he lost control "trying to avoid a dog" and hitting a telephone pole, he was so freaked out and scared, that he walked to a local bar and had 6 shots of whiskey. I couldn't arrest him, as there was NO way to prove how drunk he was before the accident.

/smart move on his part, at least he didn't hurt anyone or anyone's property.

//very lucky.


If you were really on the job, you could have arrested him for a number of things I won't begin to mention, or simply ask the bartender to verify his story.
 
2014-01-03 07:30:41 PM  

Active introvert: Benevolent Misanthrope: Holy crap.  .467?  How was he even conscious?

Ok, someone tell me if I am wrong. I have heard that if someone is taking drugs, say a stimulant and drinks, they can drink far more and stay conscious longer then someone who have not taken drugs and drinks.


When I used to take LSD or do the occasional 1/2 gram of coke back in the day, I could drink for farking ever. The alcohol always seemed to just 'enhance' the harder drug.

I also used to take my prescription Valium and take a couple of shots just to get a good case of the "notgiveashiats" going. Didn't matter what happened after that - I didn't give a shiat.

Someone told me later that Valium+alcohol=poison and I should have died. Meh.
 
2014-01-03 07:30:56 PM  
At least the breathalyzer says hi after you blow it.

Not like your last test. Which said "See me." after you blew it.
 
2014-01-03 07:32:19 PM  
Don't trust the breathalyser...get the blood test version.
The newer ones are more accurate, but "back in the day" we use to use the old
S&@ 900A that we use to call "dial a drunk" because they were so inaccurate that
you could fudge them if it was close.

legalbrandmarketing.com
 
2014-01-03 07:36:16 PM  

spiderpaz: Breathalyzers aren't that accurate.  Probably blew through the gauge too much.  My portable breathalyzer has the same problem.  It can't get a good reading with too little or too much air - needs to be just right.  I'd demand a blood reading if I were this guy.


I have a feeling that it was accurate enough to show that he wasn't in a frame of mind to think of asking for a blood test.
 
2014-01-03 07:38:26 PM  
Yup you had the better headline than what I submitted.  Good job subbie.
 
2014-01-03 07:38:53 PM  
.467 is damned impressive. Last time I saw a reading anywhere near that, it resulted in an ex-girlfriend getting cuffed and a spit bag put over her head.

Yeep.
 
2014-01-03 07:39:21 PM  

Treygreen13: Benevolent Misanthrope: Holy crap.  .467?  How was he even conscious?

I dunno, man. The drunkest I've ever been and measured it was a .24 and I felt like I was going to die.


Agreed...

Worst i ever got was a .2-something (low .2something) and i thought i had been hit by an alcohol train...wont ever be doing THAT again.

Woulda sat for dialysis if they got rid of the alcohol...thats how miserable I felt.
 
2014-01-03 07:40:32 PM  
That breathalyzer said "Hi" to me so I punched it in its stupid smug little face.
 
2014-01-03 07:40:36 PM  

RogermcAllen: Benevolent Misanthrope: Holy crap.  .467?  How was he even conscious?

Likely poor testing methods or calibration.  When it comes to measuring BAC, I wouldn't believe anything but a blood test.


Yeah, a good DUI defense lawyer will smack this down.  There's no way it's valid enough to hold up in court, and even if it does, an appeals court will toss it.
 
2014-01-03 07:41:08 PM  

impaler: It could be worse.


Link


Sadtrombone.bat
 
2014-01-03 07:41:34 PM  

Hz so good: .467 is damned impressive. Last time I saw a reading anywhere near that, it resulted in an ex-girlfriend getting cuffed and a spit bag put over her head.

Yeep.


Do you still have her #?
 
2014-01-03 07:41:59 PM  

you are a puppet: KCRG reported that the highest BAC believed to ever be recorded in Johnson County was registered in 2012 when a 24-year-old man's blood showed a 0.627.

That's just the county record? Good lord! I remember when I was younger we always believed 0.5 was death.


I wish that 0.5 were death, then my ex-wife would be gone.
 
2014-01-03 07:51:31 PM  

peg_leg: you are a puppet: KCRG reported that the highest BAC believed to ever be recorded in Johnson County was registered in 2012 when a 24-year-old man's blood showed a 0.627.

That's just the county record? Good lord! I remember when I was younger we always believed 0.5 was death.

I wish that 0.5 were death, then my ex-wife would be gone.


along with most of fark, I assume
 
2014-01-03 07:51:32 PM  

MrHappyRotter: You've really only got to worry when the breathalyzer returns a PC LOAD LETTER message.


Unless you're visiting from Europe.
 
2014-01-03 07:56:44 PM  
The wiki article on bac shows cases where blood tests showed bac over 1.0. As in ten times the legal limit. The Poles seem over represented.

note to self: dont drink with the polaks.
 
2014-01-03 07:57:30 PM  
Only .467? For U of I college students, that's "a night on the town"

/especially considering their tragic loss to LSU...
//Hawk fan
///occasionally tipsy
 
2014-01-03 07:59:14 PM  
"passenger in Carter's vehicle who said they heard Carter slurring his speech and believed him to be drunk.
The passenger also told police Carter was driving 55 mph on First Avenue, which is a 25 mph zone, before crashing his car."


Damn, this guy needs some new friends.
 
2014-01-03 07:59:29 PM  
I've been up to .34 before. That was before I passed out and woke up in a hospital. Not one of my more stellar moments.
 
2014-01-03 08:04:00 PM  
Too much blood in the alcohol system.
 
2014-01-03 08:05:37 PM  
Meh, we had a guy refuse the breathalyzer on a traffic stop in the Army. We arrested him anyway and took him to the hospital for an involuntary blood draw. Good thing too- he was .64 and got admitted. Funny thing is he got past the gate just fine by the time the carryout off post called to say a really, really drunk troop got denied buying beer there and took off back to post. He passed me with my squad leader right on his tail. The only thing that really stood out was when he rolled a stop sign (other than two squad cars with lights flashing for two blocks without noticing). That is, until we got him out of his car and have him attempt the FSC. I might still have that on video somewhere....
 
2014-01-03 08:14:13 PM  
Record (according to the Wikipedia article linked above) *survived* BAC is a 1.374 BAC from a man in Poland (not .1374, 1.374, as in 1.374% BAC, or 4 Farkers during a typical Sunday football thread by the end of the early games).
 
2014-01-03 08:14:32 PM  
.4, .5? lightweights....

/of course, I was trippin balls on three hits of gel tabs... let me tell you NOTHING overrides the A...
//I drank three half gallons of Jim Beam in those three days... might as well have been water for all it mattered...
///don't try this a home kids... mom and dad won't like it
 
2014-01-03 08:15:01 PM  

ReapTheChaos: "passenger in Carter's vehicle who said they heard Carter slurring his speech and believed him to be drunk.
The passenger also told police Carter was driving 55 mph on First Avenue, which is a 25 mph zone, before crashing his car."

Damn, this guy needs some new friends.



He took his loss to Reagan pretty hard.
 
2014-01-03 08:31:47 PM  
I saw a .576 once at the ER. The guy walked in. He has been in several times above .5. His mother always comes and gets him when he says he wants to leave so he can get his heroin fix. I will probably die at 35 and he will live to be 100.

.4+ are pretty common. .5 are rarer but still happen.
 
2014-01-03 08:33:32 PM  

Flashlight: I saw a .576 once at the ER. The guy walked in. He has been in several times above .5. His mother always comes and gets him when he says he wants to leave so he can get his heroin fix. I will probably die at 35 and he will live to be 100.


You want some heroin?
 
2014-01-03 08:36:22 PM  

you are a puppet: KCRG reported that the highest BAC believed to ever be recorded in Johnson County was registered in 2012 when a 24-year-old man's blood showed a 0.627.

That's just the county record? Good lord! I remember when I was younger we always believed 0.5 was death.


Addicts are crazy:

From  http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2009/08/michael.html

According to CNN, this is the timeline of drugs he received on the day he died:
* 1:30 am.: 10 mg Valium
* 2 am:  2 mg IV Ativan
* 3 am: 2 mg IV Versed.
* 5 am: 2 mg of IV Ativan.
* 7:30 am: 2 mg of Versed; placed on pulse ox (measures amount of oxygen in blood-- used in these cases when you worry they may be too sedated to breathe)
* 10:40 am: "after repeated demands/requests from Jackson," Dr. Murray administered 25 mg of propofol.
I.
We can say that this is enough drugs to kill a horse, but look at 5am: Jackson is still awake.  And at 7:30.  And at 10:40.   It may seem like a lot of drugs to you, but regardless, they were too weak to put him down.  Therefore, you can't say these were lethal levels of medications; half a bottle of rum is lethal to some people.
 
2014-01-03 08:48:44 PM  
i46.tinypic.com
If machines can't calculate,
then you should emancipate.
 
2014-01-03 09:36:37 PM  
A young guy once told me how he was pulled over and blew a high number.  He said the cops said he was legally dead, so they let him go.  Supposedly got back in his car and drove home.  My bull snot meter was going off, but it was in the same small town that a hs age grandson of the sheriff was allowed to drive drunk all he wanted, so it could go either way.
 
2014-01-03 09:41:36 PM  
Vodka Samm scoffs at this lightweight.
 
2014-01-03 10:09:55 PM  

Flashlight: I saw a .576 once at the ER. The guy walked in. He has been in several times above .5. His mother always comes and gets him when he says he wants to leave so he can get his heroin fix. I will probably die at 35 and he will live to be 100.

.4+ are pretty common. .5 are rarer but still happen.


My best ( witnessed) was .599 with a 1.8 hgb. mumbling consciousness,  on a young woman.
 
2014-01-03 11:10:31 PM  
ha, I live in Johnson County...how fitting
 
2014-01-03 11:31:48 PM  
Wow I'm not even upset, that's just impressive
 
2014-01-03 11:41:28 PM  
If you're going try the "I crashed sober and was so freaked I went to a bar and got drunk" defense, you better go to a bar and make damn sure you do it in front of witnesses.  Keep buying doubles from the same guy, then wander off and dump it in the john without being obvious about it.  Repeat as needed to make reality fit your story.  Buy clear drinks, refill with water as needed.

Because the cops are going to ask you what bar, what bartender, what did you have, etc.  And if you're lying they will know because all they do is play suckers all day who think they can beat pros at their own game.  If the bar has cameras as most of them do, they can subpoena the video record.

Make sure you "print well".

It's easier to lie effectively when it mostly really happened.

/mostly
 
2014-01-04 02:01:16 AM  
Drink at home people.  If you go out, take a cab or plan on spending the night.  I will never fark with that shiat again.
 
2014-01-04 02:02:57 AM  

Bit'O'Gristle: I remember years ago when i was on the job, i rolled up to a upside down suv in the middle of the road. I turned on my lights, and saw that there was nobody inside it. As i was waiting for the tow truck to arrive, some drunken asshole walked up and said it was his car, and that after he lost control "trying to avoid a dog" and hitting a telephone pole, he was so freaked out and scared, that he walked to a local bar and had 6 shots of whiskey. I couldn't arrest him, as there was NO way to prove how drunk he was before the accident.

/smart move on his part, at least he didn't hurt anyone or anyone's property.

//very lucky.


John Goodman (not the actor but the Polo King Billionaire) tried that.
Pushed a car in a canal around 3am kid in the car died. Goodman rain down to a trailer and asked for a drink to calm his nerves, called his lawyer and then the cops.
Found guilty but still out of prison for new trial or something.

/Florida
//Palm Beach County
 
2014-01-04 02:05:54 AM  

SkunkWorx: You might also have isuses if your Breathalyzer says, "How YOU doin'?"


All you need is a pervy cop for that. No machine required. Of course, all I have is a can of mace and a rape whistle and he's got a taser so I'm outgunned. *sigh*
 
2014-01-04 02:11:36 AM  

Needlessly Complicated: SkunkWorx: You might also have isuses if your Breathalyzer says, "How YOU doin'?"

All you need is a pervy cop for that. No machine required. Of course, all I have is a can of mace and a rape whistle and he's got a taser so I'm outgunned. *sigh*


I have a keychain mace and used to have a rape whistle before the army guys stole it.  I worked with them and they would blow it all day.  But we did a lot of inappropriate shiat there, they shrink wrapped one guy to the fork lift, then drove him over to my desk and left him there.
 
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