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(KCCI Des Moines)   When your breathalyser reading just says "Hi" you know you're in deep shiat with the police. Also, your liver   (kcci.com) divider line 79
    More: Stupid, bus drivers, livers  
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8976 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jan 2014 at 6:10 PM (46 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



79 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-01-03 05:12:04 PM  
Say "Hi" to your liver for me.
 
2014-01-03 05:20:23 PM  
Holy crap.  .467?  How was he even conscious?
 
2014-01-03 05:52:45 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Holy crap.  .467?  How was he even conscious?


Functional alcoholic. Or perhaps autopilot alcoholic!
 
2014-01-03 05:54:49 PM  
So basically the cop forgot to write down the actual number.
 
2014-01-03 06:12:25 PM  

RedPhoenix122: So basically the cop forgot to write down the actual number.


That's what I assumed as well.
 
2014-01-03 06:12:34 PM  
Your honor, the breathalyser was merely greeting my client.
 
2014-01-03 06:13:06 PM  
KCRG reported that the highest BAC believed to ever be recorded in Johnson County was registered in 2012 when a 24-year-old man's blood showed a 0.627.

That's just the county record? Good lord! I remember when I was younger we always believed 0.5 was death.
 
2014-01-03 06:13:08 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Holy crap.  .467?  How was he even conscious?


I dunno, man. The drunkest I've ever been and measured it was a .24 and I felt like I was going to die.
 
2014-01-03 06:14:11 PM  
"I was sober when I wrecked the car, judge, I swear. Just when I got home I DOWNED some hard alcohol."
 
2014-01-03 06:15:43 PM  

you are a puppet: That's just the county record?


Probably the state record as well. Johnson County = University of Iowa.
 
2014-01-03 06:16:29 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Holy crap.  .467?  How was he even conscious?


Likely poor testing methods or calibration.  When it comes to measuring BAC, I wouldn't believe anything but a blood test.
 
2014-01-03 06:16:51 PM  

impaler: Your honor, the breathalyser was merely greeting my client.


That was my first thought as well. When the breathalyser greets you by name however...
 
2014-01-03 06:17:24 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Holy crap.  .467?  How was he even conscious?


Ok, someone tell me if I am wrong. I have heard that if someone is taking drugs, say a stimulant and drinks, they can drink far more and stay conscious longer then someone who have not taken drugs and drinks.
 
2014-01-03 06:18:26 PM  
You've really only got to worry when the breathalyzer returns a PC LOAD LETTER message.
 
2014-01-03 06:19:27 PM  

you are a puppet: KCRG reported that the highest BAC believed to ever be recorded in Johnson County was registered in 2012 when a 24-year-old man's blood showed a 0.627.

That's just the county record? Good lord! I remember when I was younger we always believed 0.5 was death.


It is, but people can build up a tolerance. Just like iocane powder.
 
2014-01-03 06:19:56 PM  

MrHappyRotter: You've really only got to worry when the breathalyzer returns a PC LOAD LETTER message.


what the fark does that even mean?
 
2014-01-03 06:23:05 PM  

cretinbob: MrHappyRotter: You've really only got to worry when the breathalyzer returns a PC LOAD LETTER message.

what the fark does that even mean?


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PC_LOAD_LETTER
 
2014-01-03 06:23:19 PM  
His liver must've morphed into a organic flask.
 
2014-01-03 06:23:41 PM  

netweavr: you are a puppet: KCRG reported that the highest BAC believed to ever be recorded in Johnson County was registered in 2012 when a 24-year-old man's blood showed a 0.627.

That's just the county record? Good lord! I remember when I was younger we always believed 0.5 was death.

It is, but people can build up a tolerance. Just like iocane powder.


Inconceivable!
 
2014-01-03 06:23:47 PM  
Breathalyzers aren't that accurate.  Probably blew through the gauge too much.  My portable breathalyzer has the same problem.  It can't get a good reading with too little or too much air - needs to be just right.  I'd demand a blood reading if I were this guy.
 
2014-01-03 06:24:42 PM  
I remember years ago when i was on the job, i rolled up to a upside down suv in the middle of the road. I turned on my lights, and saw that there was nobody inside it. As i was waiting for the tow truck to arrive, some drunken asshole walked up and said it was his car, and that after he lost control "trying to avoid a dog" and hitting a telephone pole, he was so freaked out and scared, that he walked to a local bar and had 6 shots of whiskey. I couldn't arrest him, as there was NO way to prove how drunk he was before the accident.

/smart move on his part, at least he didn't hurt anyone or anyone's property.

//very lucky.
 
2014-01-03 06:24:58 PM  

MrHappyRotter: You've really only got to worry when the breathalyzer returns a PC LOAD LETTER message.


Does this violate Fark's policy on calling out a user not present in the thread?
 
2014-01-03 06:26:50 PM  

spiderpaz: MrHappyRotter: You've really only got to worry when the breathalyzer returns a PC LOAD LETTER message.

Does this violate Fark's policy on calling out a user not present in the thread?


It depends, does he drink?
 
2014-01-03 06:27:38 PM  

jayfurr: cretinbob: MrHappyRotter: You've really only got to worry when the breathalyzer returns a PC LOAD LETTER message.

what the fark does that even mean?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PC_LOAD_LETTER


WTF was that noise overhead?
 
2014-01-03 06:28:39 PM  

cretinbob: MrHappyRotter: You've really only got to worry when the breathalyzer returns a PC LOAD LETTER message.

what the fark does that even mean?


If it ever happens to you, you'll understand, Amigo.
 
2014-01-03 06:29:09 PM  

jayfurr: cretinbob: MrHappyRotter: You've really only got to worry when the breathalyzer returns a PC LOAD LETTER message.

what the fark does that even mean?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PC_LOAD_LETTER


i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-01-03 06:31:34 PM  
Hi yourself, you sexy breathalyzer....wow, these beer goggles really work. Why is the room spinning around?
 
2014-01-03 06:32:14 PM  
You might also have isuses if your Breathalyzer says, "How YOU doin'?"
 
2014-01-03 06:33:41 PM  
Police said Carter told them he drank two Bud Lights and admitting to driving home.


What he failed to mention is that each of those Bud Lights was a pony keg.
 
2014-01-03 06:36:51 PM  

DigitalCoffee: Police said Carter told them he drank two Bud Lights and admitting to driving home.


What he failed to mention is that each of those Bud Lights was a pony keg.


If you tried to get to .467 by drinking Bud Light, you'd probably die from water intoxication first.
 
2014-01-03 06:44:10 PM  

Bit'O'Gristle: I remember years ago when i was on the job, i rolled up to a upside down suv in the middle of the road. I turned on my lights, and saw that there was nobody inside it. As i was waiting for the tow truck to arrive, some drunken asshole walked up and said it was his car, and that after he lost control "trying to avoid a dog" and hitting a telephone pole, he was so freaked out and scared, that he walked to a local bar and had 6 shots of whiskey. I couldn't arrest him, as there was NO way to prove how drunk he was before the accident.

/smart move on his part, at least he didn't hurt anyone or anyone's property.

//very lucky.


Couldn't you ask him which bar he went into, then ask the bartender and witnesses to corroborate/refute his story?
 
2014-01-03 06:45:09 PM  
Semi-related note: I was in BevMo the other day and noticed they sell breathalyzers. Are those new or am I old? Are they accurate?
 
2014-01-03 06:48:53 PM  

fusillade762: jayfurr: cretinbob: MrHappyRotter: You've really only got to worry when the breathalyzer returns a PC LOAD LETTER message.

what the fark does that even mean?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PC_LOAD_LETTER

[i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]



i1301.photobucket.com

Just wait until he sees the judge!
 
2014-01-03 06:49:39 PM  

NorCalLos: Bit'O'Gristle: I remember years ago when i was on the job, i rolled up to a upside down suv in the middle of the road. I turned on my lights, and saw that there was nobody inside it. As i was waiting for the tow truck to arrive, some drunken asshole walked up and said it was his car, and that after he lost control "trying to avoid a dog" and hitting a telephone pole, he was so freaked out and scared, that he walked to a local bar and had 6 shots of whiskey. I couldn't arrest him, as there was NO way to prove how drunk he was before the accident.

/smart move on his part, at least he didn't hurt anyone or anyone's property.

//very lucky.

Couldn't you ask him which bar he went into, then ask the bartender and witnesses to corroborate/refute his story?


Maybe he actually went to a bar and had 6 shots... that would be pretty clever, I suppose.
 
2014-01-03 06:49:50 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Holy crap.  .467?  How was he even conscious?


Alcohol affects people differently.  That's why BAC as a measure of 'drunkenness' is stupid.  Alcoholics hit the "omg death" range as a nightly exercise.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_alcohol_content#Highest_recorded_ bl ood_alcohol_level.2Fcontent
 
2014-01-03 06:55:10 PM  
"HI" is the postal abbreviation for Hawaii. The breathalyzer just wants a vacation.
 
2014-01-03 06:57:32 PM  
If you blow .467, it means the cop doesn't know how to operate the equipment properly.
 
2014-01-03 07:06:13 PM  
It could be worse.

i.imgur.com
Link
 
2014-01-03 07:09:11 PM  
I work in a hospital. It's not uncommon to see .4s and .5s at all. This would kill any motal being, but these are alcoholics that would probably die if they stopped drinking ( cold turkey, w/o medical supervision).
 
2014-01-03 07:09:57 PM  
content7.flixster.com

"They ain't gonna break up the family, Hi"
 
2014-01-03 07:11:55 PM  
it's a good thing they never stopped me stumbling home from joe's place or the deadwood or whatever other dimly lit saloon I found myself in

Me and my liver miss you, Iowa city
 
2014-01-03 07:24:02 PM  

Bit'O'Gristle: I remember years ago when i was on the job, i rolled up to a upside down suv in the middle of the road. I turned on my lights, and saw that there was nobody inside it. As i was waiting for the tow truck to arrive, some drunken asshole walked up and said it was his car, and that after he lost control "trying to avoid a dog" and hitting a telephone pole, he was so freaked out and scared, that he walked to a local bar and had 6 shots of whiskey. I couldn't arrest him, as there was NO way to prove how drunk he was before the accident.

/smart move on his part, at least he didn't hurt anyone or anyone's property.

//very lucky.


If you were really on the job, you could have arrested him for a number of things I won't begin to mention, or simply ask the bartender to verify his story.
 
2014-01-03 07:30:41 PM  

Active introvert: Benevolent Misanthrope: Holy crap.  .467?  How was he even conscious?

Ok, someone tell me if I am wrong. I have heard that if someone is taking drugs, say a stimulant and drinks, they can drink far more and stay conscious longer then someone who have not taken drugs and drinks.


When I used to take LSD or do the occasional 1/2 gram of coke back in the day, I could drink for farking ever. The alcohol always seemed to just 'enhance' the harder drug.

I also used to take my prescription Valium and take a couple of shots just to get a good case of the "notgiveashiats" going. Didn't matter what happened after that - I didn't give a shiat.

Someone told me later that Valium+alcohol=poison and I should have died. Meh.
 
2014-01-03 07:30:56 PM  
At least the breathalyzer says hi after you blow it.

Not like your last test. Which said "See me." after you blew it.
 
2014-01-03 07:32:19 PM  
Don't trust the breathalyser...get the blood test version.
The newer ones are more accurate, but "back in the day" we use to use the old
S&@ 900A that we use to call "dial a drunk" because they were so inaccurate that
you could fudge them if it was close.

legalbrandmarketing.com
 
2014-01-03 07:36:16 PM  

spiderpaz: Breathalyzers aren't that accurate.  Probably blew through the gauge too much.  My portable breathalyzer has the same problem.  It can't get a good reading with too little or too much air - needs to be just right.  I'd demand a blood reading if I were this guy.


I have a feeling that it was accurate enough to show that he wasn't in a frame of mind to think of asking for a blood test.
 
2014-01-03 07:38:26 PM  
Yup you had the better headline than what I submitted.  Good job subbie.
 
2014-01-03 07:38:53 PM  
.467 is damned impressive. Last time I saw a reading anywhere near that, it resulted in an ex-girlfriend getting cuffed and a spit bag put over her head.

Yeep.
 
2014-01-03 07:39:21 PM  

Treygreen13: Benevolent Misanthrope: Holy crap.  .467?  How was he even conscious?

I dunno, man. The drunkest I've ever been and measured it was a .24 and I felt like I was going to die.


Agreed...

Worst i ever got was a .2-something (low .2something) and i thought i had been hit by an alcohol train...wont ever be doing THAT again.

Woulda sat for dialysis if they got rid of the alcohol...thats how miserable I felt.
 
2014-01-03 07:40:32 PM  
That breathalyzer said "Hi" to me so I punched it in its stupid smug little face.
 
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