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(NBC News)   King Tut ... Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia, he was buried with a boner   (nbcnews.com) divider line 27
    More: Strange, Egypt's King Tutankhamun, erect penis, American University in Cairo, pharaohs, Osiris, Egypt's Valley of the Kings  
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2998 clicks; posted to Geek » on 03 Jan 2014 at 4:41 PM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



27 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-03 04:35:32 PM
He was pitching a pyramid?
 
2014-01-03 04:47:37 PM
erect penis may point to

1-media-cdn.foolz.us
 
2014-01-03 04:50:29 PM

Treygreen13: erect penis may point to


..but they forgot to remove one cadam. They're frigging in the wrong place!
 
2014-01-03 04:51:51 PM
So the #1 god in the Egyptian pantheon was a heartless horny black guy?
 
2014-01-03 05:00:11 PM
Jesus... I used to be able to avoid LiveScience links, now everyone re-posts their garbage and it sneaks up on you.
 
2014-01-03 05:14:20 PM

Fano: Treygreen13: erect penis may point to

..but they forgot to remove one cadam condom. They're frigging in the wrong place!

 
2014-01-03 05:14:49 PM

Fano: Treygreen13: erect penis may point to

..but they forgot to remove one cadam. They're frigging in the wrong place!


Asps.  Very dangerous.
 
2014-01-03 05:30:19 PM
So who was the audience for all this? Only the priest would see the body, no sense setting up a show that no one is going to see
 
2014-01-03 05:44:43 PM

Kanemano: So who was the audience for all this? Only the priest would see the body, no sense setting up a show that no one is going to see


Catholicism had to start somewhere.
 
2014-01-03 05:47:48 PM
So, where's the damn penis?
 
2014-01-03 05:55:12 PM
Got a condom made of stone-ah!
/Can't believe no one said this first.
 
2014-01-03 06:00:10 PM

GentlemanJ: Got a condom made of stone-ah!
/Can't believe no one said this first.


Unfortunately, the King Tut song is like 35 years old. So you'd either need to be a Steve Martin fan or over 45ish to know it.
 
2014-01-03 06:06:36 PM
I find that hard to believe.
 
2014-01-03 06:16:25 PM

Treygreen13: GentlemanJ: Got a condom made of stone-ah!
/Can't believe no one said this first.

Unfortunately, the King Tut song is like 35 years old. So you'd either need to be a Steve Martin fan or over 45ish to know it.


I know it and I'm 34. It's not funny.
 
2014-01-03 06:17:55 PM

wraith95: Treygreen13: GentlemanJ: Got a condom made of stone-ah!
/Can't believe no one said this first.

Unfortunately, the King Tut song is like 35 years old. So you'd either need to be a Steve Martin fan or over 45ish to know it.

I know it and I'm 34. It's not funny.


I'm 29 and I know it. It's not really a "joke" so much as it is just a cute song.
 
2014-01-03 06:18:40 PM
"If you experience an erection lasting 3,000 years or more, seek medical assistance..."
 
2014-01-03 08:21:03 PM

Treygreen13: GentlemanJ: Got a condom made of stone-ah!
/Can't believe no one said this first.

Unfortunately, the King Tut song is like 35 years old. So you'd either need to be a Steve Martin fan or over 45ish to know it.


I'm 25, and I know that and this:

cdnl.complex.com
 
2014-01-03 08:33:28 PM

Bith Set Me Up: Treygreen13: GentlemanJ: Got a condom made of stone-ah!
/Can't believe no one said this first.

Unfortunately, the King Tut song is like 35 years old. So you'd either need to be a Steve Martin fan or over 45ish to know it.

I'm 25, and I know that and this:

[cdnl.complex.com image 620x400]


Heh, I remember that one too. We used to watch a lot of old SNL skits.
 
2014-01-03 09:10:46 PM
Necrophilia...
 
2014-01-03 09:33:13 PM

Meatybrain: So the #1 god in the Egyptian pantheon was a heartless horny black guy?


Not even close. I'm no Egyptologist, but this just reeks of shiat, for a variety of reasons.

1) Osiris had green skin, not black skin.
2) Osiris was never shown with an erect penis, and was in fact missing it due to Set cutting it off and it getting swallowed by a fish(I think..might have been a crocodile or something else)
3) The heart(or replacement scarab) was absolutely essential to their afterlife beliefs, as it was used in the judging of the dead.
4) As pointed out up thread, no one was going to see it.

However, there WAS a dark skinned god who was often portrayed with a hard on, and his name was Min. He wasn't missing his heart, however, and, though his own cult often portrayed him as the creator of all things, he wasn't anywhere near as important as someone like Osiris.

upload.wikimedia.org
Not trying to really prove anything with this, just saying this article reeks. Also, Salima Ikram is one of Zahi Hawass's disciples, so I'm not exactly a big fan of her, either.
 
2014-01-03 11:02:53 PM
He was buried that way because...his wife was on her pyramid.
 
2014-01-03 11:32:53 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com
Wanted for questioning.
 
2014-01-04 01:19:47 AM

grumpfuff: Meatybrain: So the #1 god in the Egyptian pantheon was a heartless horny black guy?

Not even close. I'm no Egyptologist, but this just reeks of shiat, for a variety of reasons.

1) Osiris had green skin, not black skin.
2) Osiris was never shown with an erect penis, and was in fact missing it due to Set cutting it off and it getting swallowed by a fish(I think..might have been a crocodile or something else)
3) The heart(or replacement scarab) was absolutely essential to their afterlife beliefs, as it was used in the judging of the dead.
4) As pointed out up thread, no one was going to see it.

However, there WAS a dark skinned god who was often portrayed with a hard on, and his name was Min. He wasn't missing his heart, however, and, though his own cult often portrayed him as the creator of all things, he wasn't anywhere near as important as someone like Osiris.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x413]
Not trying to really prove anything with this, just saying this article reeks. Also, Salima Ikram is one of Zahi Hawass's disciples, so I'm not exactly a big fan of her, either.


You seem way more informed than I.  Do you think she could have meant that he would physically appear, resurrected, as Osiris?  Or when Tut pops up in the after life  everyone thinks he's Osiris?

I dunno...to a scholar my questions probably seem very puerile.  Heh.
 
2014-01-04 03:31:10 AM

WhoGAS: grumpfuff: Meatybrain: So the #1 god in the Egyptian pantheon was a heartless horny black guy?

Not even close. I'm no Egyptologist, but this just reeks of shiat, for a variety of reasons.

1) Osiris had green skin, not black skin.
2) Osiris was never shown with an erect penis, and was in fact missing it due to Set cutting it off and it getting swallowed by a fish(I think..might have been a crocodile or something else)
3) The heart(or replacement scarab) was absolutely essential to their afterlife beliefs, as it was used in the judging of the dead.
4) As pointed out up thread, no one was going to see it.

However, there WAS a dark skinned god who was often portrayed with a hard on, and his name was Min. He wasn't missing his heart, however, and, though his own cult often portrayed him as the creator of all things, he wasn't anywhere near as important as someone like Osiris.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x413]
Not trying to really prove anything with this, just saying this article reeks. Also, Salima Ikram is one of Zahi Hawass's disciples, so I'm not exactly a big fan of her, either.

You seem way more informed than I.  Do you think she could have meant that he would physically appear, resurrected, as Osiris?  Or when Tut pops up in the after life  everyone thinks he's Osiris?

I dunno...to a scholar my questions probably seem very puerile.  Heh.


In terms of a physical resurrection, no. As far as I know, the Egyptians had no such concept. However, in death is another story.

In Egyptian belief, while alive, the Pharaoh was the god Horus. In death, he became Osiris. Things like an erect penis or black skin were unnecessary for this. Conversely, the heart (or replacement scarab) was ABSOLUTELY essential for this. The heart was considered the seat of the soul, and to bury someone without it, especially a Pharaoh, would be nothing short of blasphemy. Once the dead soul reached the realm of Osiris(a journey in and of itself), the heart/scarab was to be weighed against the Feather of Truth, and only if the heart/scarab was lighter or equal(it was weighed down by evil deeds) to the feather could the deceased pharaoh ascend to become Osiris. A similar judgement was passed on all people, though non-pharaohs who passed the Weighing of the Heart simply ascended to what you could call the Egyptian version of heaven. Anyone, pharaoh or not, whose heart was heavier than the feather was deemed guilty. Their heart was fed to Ammut, and their soul destroyed forever.

Honestly, I never understood how they reconciled this with all the pharaohs living and dying, so I always figured they meant it in more of either a figurative way, or in life he was Horus's representative, and in death he becomes one of Osiris's trusted aides type of thing.

Regardless, though, the big paragraph up there is why I disagree with the article. It literally flies in the face of the mythology, and makes no sense at all. What she is saying here would be like saying "Christians celebrate Christmas as the time Jesus resurrects and passes out presents."
 
2014-01-04 03:59:24 AM
 
2014-01-04 07:52:05 AM

rhiannon: So, where's the damn penis?


Sure, King Tut's penis has some value, but it's going to sit in the shop until I can find the right buyer.  Best I can do is 200 bucks.
 
2014-01-04 08:37:14 PM

grumpfuff: What she is saying here would be like saying "Christians celebrate Christmas as the time Jesus resurrects and passes out presents."


images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
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