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(Newstrack India)   The beatings will continue until morale improves, my special little snowflakes   (newstrackindia.com) divider line 17
    More: Interesting, self-esteem, Brad Bushman, visiting scholar  
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5618 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jan 2014 at 4:50 PM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



17 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-01-03 04:53:24 PM
Who has the highest self esteem? Low achieving gangbangers. Good idea.

Turns out that dopes trained in self esteem decide that anything hard is stupid, because they are great, and if they can't do it, it must be worthless.
 
2014-01-03 04:54:09 PM
You ever get the feeling that this 'special snowflakes' line is justification for bad management styles?
 
2014-01-03 04:55:42 PM
They don't need praise, they need you to actually pay attention to them.
 
2014-01-03 04:56:43 PM
TFA - ""If you tell a child with low self-esteem that they did incredibly well, they may think they always need to do incredibly well. They may worry about meeting those high standards and decide not to take on any new challenges," said the study."

I wonder if its more likely that kids with low self-esteem just don't want to be noticed or bothered, so the more you notice and bother them, the more likely they are to avoid the activities that lead to this noticing and bothering.
 
2014-01-03 04:57:00 PM
An Indian article, set in New York; regarding research done in Ohio. I guess it made sense to someone.

/ I do agree; the "trophies for everyone" movement is dumb
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-01-03 04:57:01 PM

Fano: Who has the highest self esteem? Low achieving gangbangers. Good idea.

Turns out that dopes trained in self esteem decide that anything hard is stupid, because they are great, and if they can't do it, it must be worthless.


Sounds like half of my ex-bosses.
 
2014-01-03 04:58:11 PM
Reported for calling out a farker in a headline.

;)
 
2014-01-03 05:01:18 PM

d23: Fano: Who has the highest self esteem? Low achieving gangbangers. Good idea.

Turns out that dopes trained in self esteem decide that anything hard is stupid, because they are great, and if they can't do it, it must be worthless.

Sounds like half of my ex-bosses.


Two kinds of bosses:

1) "I can't know everything, so I'll hire good people to fill in where I'm weakest."
2) "I could do any of these jobs better than anybody I hire, I just don't have time."
 
2014-01-03 05:24:37 PM

megarian: Reported for calling out a farker in a headline.

;)

 
2014-01-03 05:26:21 PM
If it's an Indian byline, then I guess we should glad it is beatings and not gang rapes.
 
2014-01-03 05:27:06 PM
What Indian kids need:
31.media.tumblr.com

They give shy people the strength to get up and do what needs to be done.
 
2014-01-03 05:28:42 PM

Nightjars: TFA - ""If you tell a child with low self-esteem that they did incredibly well, they may think they always need to do incredibly well. They may worry about meeting those high standards and decide not to take on any new challenges," said the study."

I wonder if its more likely that kids with low self-esteem just don't want to be noticed or bothered, so the more you notice and bother them, the more likely they are to avoid the activities that lead to this noticing and bothering.


I've got a different take. Kids can smell BS, and they smell it a lot better than we tend to give them credit for. They can even smell overinflated praise, if you haven't quite managed to train them out of it using an irrational model of self-esteem. And so when you give them overwrought praise, they know it's overwrought, and they dismiss it as such. Do this too often, and they become so used to dismissing praise that it becomes habitual, even reflexive, and it starts to happen even when the praise is more genuinely deserved.

Now you've got a kid who doesn't respond to praise anymore. What happens next? Consider that the ways we reinforce our own self-esteem are, internally speaking, a kind of self-praise. When a kid doesn't respond to praise, this stops working too. Now you've got a bigger problem: someone who hasn't internalized the reward mechanism for doing things, and doesn't respond to external rewards either (not of that type, at any rate).

And what happens when you don't get satisfaction from doing things? You stop doing things. Because really, why bother? It's all just too much trouble, and for what, really? And that's how you get someone who doesn't do things: not so much depression as anhedonia.

I like to think I've got a decent hypothesis for prevention: make sure that your praise is proportional to the actions being praised. Acknowledge the good, but do not go overboard, and do not forget to acknowledge the bad as well; this is important for showing that you really understand what's going on. But what to do for people already afflicted? That, I don't know. I suspect that many of the great psychological questions of our times will revolve around undoing the damage wrought by the self-esteem movement, and although this one of the less well-known aspects of that damage, it will still prove to be one of the big questions.
 
2014-01-03 05:33:15 PM
Like with trannies, if the brown ones are "Dinge queens", aren't they by definition 'dinge-flakes"?
 
2014-01-03 05:42:10 PM
Within my classroom, I offer little in the form of praise or admonishment except when I feel the student would not recognize this themselves. Rather, I take a moment to listen, ask a question or make a comment which denotes with specificity I attended to them, and then continue. Students see through false praise and resent admonishment and only condition themselves to receive one or the other, because students know when they have done well or poor.

With the attention shown, my students want to do well by me, but then have to realize the only indication of well by me is to be well by them.
 
2014-01-03 05:49:22 PM
So the "self-esteem" movement turns out to make kids with high self-esteem more delusional about how great they are, and kids with low esteem doubt themselves even more? Figures.
 
2014-01-03 06:26:32 PM

Millennium: Nightjars: TFA - ""If you tell a child with low self-esteem that they did incredibly well, they may think they always need to do incredibly well. They may worry about meeting those high standards and decide not to take on any new challenges," said the study."

I wonder if its more likely that kids with low self-esteem just don't want to be noticed or bothered, so the more you notice and bother them, the more likely they are to avoid the activities that lead to this noticing and bothering.

I've got a different take. Kids can smell BS, and they smell it a lot better than we tend to give them credit for. They can even smell overinflated praise, if you haven't quite managed to train them out of it using an irrational model of self-esteem. And so when you give them overwrought praise, they know it's overwrought, and they dismiss it as such. Do this too often, and they become so used to dismissing praise that it becomes habitual, even reflexive, and it starts to happen even when the praise is more genuinely deserved.

Now you've got a kid who doesn't respond to praise anymore. What happens next? Consider that the ways we reinforce our own self-esteem are, internally speaking, a kind of self-praise. When a kid doesn't respond to praise, this stops working too. Now you've got a bigger problem: someone who hasn't internalized the reward mechanism for doing things, and doesn't respond to external rewards either (not of that type, at any rate).

And what happens when you don't get satisfaction from doing things? You stop doing things. Because really, why bother? It's all just too much trouble, and for what, really? And that's how you get someone who doesn't do things: not so much depression as anhedonia.

I like to think I've got a decent hypothesis for prevention: make sure that your praise is proportional to the actions being praised. Acknowledge the good, but do not go overboard, and do not forget to acknowledge the bad as well; this is important for showing that you reall ...


THIS
Had low self esteem as a teen. Finally started to get over the 'If I can do it anyone can' view after I defended my PhD thesis.
 
2014-01-03 07:36:16 PM

Nightjars: TFA - ""If you tell a child with low self-esteem that they did incredibly well, they may think they always need to do incredibly well. They may worry about meeting those high standards and decide not to take on any new challenges," said the study."

I wonder if its more likely that kids with low self-esteem just don't want to be noticed or bothered, so the more you notice and bother them, the more likely they are to avoid the activities that lead to this noticing and bothering.


Maybe kids with low self esteem just realize they are bad people and should feel bad, ever think of that? Maybe you should feel bad for not thinking of it.
 
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