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(Johnson City Press)   88-year-old WWII veteran wants us to know that tree in his yard has sprouted...a woody, so to speak. Right there in Johnson City   (johnsoncitypress.com) divider line 37
    More: Obvious, Johnson City, old World War, veterans  
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8536 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jan 2014 at 1:07 PM (34 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-03 01:09:49 PM
Why the hell is the tree censored?
 
2014-01-03 01:10:07 PM
I'd like to meet this guy. Sounds like he has some great stories.
 
2014-01-03 01:10:07 PM
This thread is useless without pixelated tree dick pics
 
2014-01-03 01:11:20 PM
From the comments:
"Why cover it up? THe media is so biased. The media don't care about throwing off on God. But will cover this up. HOw childish"

THE ATHEIST MEDIA IS PREVENTING ME FROM SEEING TREE PENIS!
 
2014-01-03 01:12:08 PM

poison_amy: Why the hell is the tree censored?


When it drips syrup, old ladies faint.
 
2014-01-03 01:13:19 PM
This is Johnson City, TN, located in the northeast part of the state and up in the mountains. It's not exactly what I'd call a "liberal" or "progressive" area, which might help explain the censorship of the tree dick.

/that paper has nothing at all to report on, does it?
 
2014-01-03 01:20:26 PM
No nuts on those maples.
 
2014-01-03 01:22:06 PM
I went in a totally different direction:

"Oh, we've got trouble! Trouble? Right here, in River City! Right here? With a capital T, that rhymes with P; that stands for Pool"...

/ It's not my fault; my mother dragged me off to musicals at an impressionable age
 
2014-01-03 01:22:48 PM
speaking of 88-year-old WWII veterans, my grandfather, John T. Hayes, who was a Lieutenant and served in the Pacific, who was aboard one of the Navy ships that bombarded Midway Island during the battle of Midway and whose ship was struck by a Kamikaze which destroyed its bridge, passed away New Years Eve.

/bitter
//fark you, death.
 
2014-01-03 01:23:11 PM
I work in JC, may have to try and find this place.  Oh and JC/Washington Co. is about as progressive as you'll find up here.

/peckerwood
 
2014-01-03 01:24:26 PM
His gun still works?
 
2014-01-03 01:24:35 PM

Kit Fister: speaking of 88-year-old WWII veterans, my grandfather, John T. Hayes, who was a Lieutenant and served in the Pacific, who was aboard one of the Navy ships that bombarded Midway Island during the battle of Midway and whose ship was struck by a Kamikaze which destroyed its bridge, passed away New Years Eve.

/bitter
//fark you, death.


Sorry for your loss.
 
2014-01-03 01:27:47 PM
I'm feel odd saying this...
I was expecting a lot more tree penis in that article.  I'm kind of disappointed that they didn't explain anything about the tree penis other than it exists.
 
2014-01-03 01:31:22 PM
I am amused that anyone would consider 4 inches, as a "woody"
 
2014-01-03 01:35:44 PM

Kit Fister: speaking of 88-year-old WWII veterans, my grandfather, John T. Hayes, who was a Lieutenant and served in the Pacific, who was aboard one of the Navy ships that bombarded Midway Island during the battle of Midway and whose ship was struck by a Kamikaze which destroyed its bridge, passed away New Years Eve.

/bitter
//fark you, death.


smuj.home.comcast.net


So, your grandfather was Japanese?
 
2014-01-03 01:35:59 PM
speaking of 88-year-old WWII veterans, my grandfather, John T. Hayes, who was a Lieutenant and served in the Pacific, who was aboard one of the Navy ships that bombarded Midway Island during the battle of Midway and whose ship was struck by a Kamikaze which destroyed its bridge, passed away New Years Eve.


A sharp salute from one vet to another.  My condolences to your family.
 
2014-01-03 01:39:21 PM
Offers to help:

static.musictoday.com
 
2014-01-03 01:40:19 PM
lh3.ggpht.com
 
2014-01-03 01:42:37 PM
www.funnybook.gr
 
2014-01-03 01:42:46 PM
A 4 inch knob?  Sounds like me, when I'm all excited and stuff.

On a serious note, a tip of the cap to Kit Fister and family.  Sorry for your loss.
 
2014-01-03 01:43:50 PM
Pixelated tree dick pics is the new name of my cover band.

/you knew *someone* had to do it.
 
2014-01-03 01:45:13 PM
Whoa! A tree wang thread!

blog.petermcgraw.org
 
2014-01-03 01:46:47 PM

Maud Dib: Kit Fister: speaking of 88-year-old WWII veterans, my grandfather, John T. Hayes, who was a Lieutenant and served in the Pacific, who was aboard one of the Navy ships that bombarded Midway Island during the battle of Midway and whose ship was struck by a Kamikaze which destroyed its bridge, passed away New Years Eve.

/bitter
//fark you, death.

[smuj.home.comcast.net image 197x151]


So, your grandfather was Japanese?


No, he was aboard one of the US Navy ships that bombarded the island during the Marine landings and continued to provide artillery support.
 
2014-01-03 01:50:37 PM

ChipNASA: Pixelated tree dick pics is the new name of my cover band.

/you knew *someone* had to do it.


I want royalties
 
2014-01-03 01:56:44 PM
"Walkin' to the south out of Roanoke I caught a trucker out of Philly, had a nice long toke; but he's a headed west through the Cumberland Gap to ______. __."

/great tune
 
2014-01-03 02:07:41 PM

Kit Fister: Maud Dib: Kit Fister: speaking of 88-year-old WWII veterans, my grandfather, John T. Hayes, who was a Lieutenant and served in the Pacific, who was aboard one of the Navy ships that bombarded Midway Island during the battle of Midway and whose ship was struck by a Kamikaze which destroyed its bridge, passed away New Years Eve.

/bitter
//fark you, death.

[smuj.home.comcast.net image 197x151]


So, your grandfather was Japanese?

No, he was aboard one of the US Navy ships that bombarded the island during the Marine landings and continued to provide artillery support.


The Japanese never set foot on Midway.
 
2014-01-03 02:10:19 PM
static.fjcdn.com
 
2014-01-03 02:17:00 PM

Maud Dib: The Japanese never set foot on Midway.


then I'm confusing the islands.
 
2014-01-03 02:19:42 PM

Kit Fister: Maud Dib: The Japanese never set foot on Midway.

then I'm confusing the islands.


Probably Iwo Jima or Guadalcanal.
Regardless, sorry for your loss, and Go Navy.
 
2014-01-03 02:28:27 PM

morcoth: I am amused that anyone would consider 4 inches, as a "woody"


He's 88.
 
2014-01-03 03:06:14 PM
I wish this was not a news story. Now some religious fanatic is going to come by and cut if off, "for the children!".
 
2014-01-03 04:23:31 PM

Kit Fister: speaking of 88-year-old WWII veterans, my grandfather, John T. Hayes, who was a Lieutenant and served in the Pacific, who was aboard one of the Navy ships that bombarded Midway Island during the battle of Midway and whose ship was struck by a Kamikaze which destroyed its bridge, passed away New Years Eve.

/bitter
//fark you, death.


My condolences.  But as they say on one of Kevin Smith's podcasts, 88 is a huge bucket of win.
 
2014-01-03 04:28:27 PM

Kit Fister: speaking of 88-year-old WWII veterans, my grandfather, John T. Hayes, who was a Lieutenant and served in the Pacific, who was aboard one of the Navy ships that bombarded Midway Island during the battle of Midway and whose ship was struck by a Kamikaze which destroyed its bridge, passed away New Years Eve.

/bitter
//fark you, death.


Based on your comments, I'm about 75% certain he was on the Tennessee.  It's one of the older battleships, which were tasked with shore bombardment in almost all of the amphibious landings.  It also took a kamikaze hit to the signal bridge on 12 April 1945, while supporting the landings on Okinawa.  So you may be thinking about his ship bombarding the Marianas (Saipan, Tinian, and Guam), for which Tennessee earned one of its ten Battle Stars.
 
2014-01-03 05:12:43 PM

UNC_Samurai: Kit Fister: speaking of 88-year-old WWII veterans, my grandfather, John T. Hayes, who was a Lieutenant and served in the Pacific, who was aboard one of the Navy ships that bombarded Midway Island during the battle of Midway and whose ship was struck by a Kamikaze which destroyed its bridge, passed away New Years Eve.

/bitter
//fark you, death.

Based on your comments, I'm about 75% certain he was on the Tennessee.  It's one of the older battleships, which were tasked with shore bombardment in almost all of the amphibious landings.  It also took a kamikaze hit to the signal bridge on 12 April 1945, while supporting the landings on Okinawa.  So you may be thinking about his ship bombarding the Marianas (Saipan, Tinian, and Guam), for which Tennessee earned one of its ten Battle Stars.


Yep, that sounds right.
 
2014-01-03 06:16:56 PM
I see a future fine or arrest/Fine Police Work for arboral public indecency here.
 
2014-01-03 07:22:41 PM

mike_d85: I'm feel odd saying this...
I was expecting a lot more tree penis in that article.  I'm kind of disappointed that they didn't explain anything about the tree penis other than it exists.


It's covered under patient / tree surgeon confidentiality.
 
2014-01-04 09:03:26 AM
That seems a bit small but I'm sure Barney Frank would love to scratch his ass with it .
 
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