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(Daily Mail)   Parents urged to "raise the child they have, not the child they want to have." Donald Rumsfeld's strategy in Iraq is now a parenting philosophy?   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 55
    More: Strange, Donald Rumsfeld, Chris Kluwe, O.J. Simpson  
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2651 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jan 2014 at 1:52 PM (37 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-03 01:53:28 PM
That actually sounds like good advice
 
2014-01-03 01:56:25 PM
Children are fungible.
 
2014-01-03 01:56:46 PM
That is really good advice, subby.  Most parents have a hard time when they realize that their children are not mindless automatons that obey your every wish, but are messy farking people with ideas, agendas and motivations all their own.
 
2014-01-03 01:56:46 PM
Everything in moderation. Have expectations for your children. But don't freak the hell out when your kids don't live up to them.
 
2014-01-03 01:56:49 PM
"But if I listen to that sort of advice, little Billy will never be a award winning musician actor director doctor scientist superstar who makes seven figures a year."
 
2014-01-03 01:57:08 PM
Yes and no. One needs to push their kids forward but not toward goals that are unrealistic for their skills, abilities and desires.

Too bad kids don't come with instruction manuals.
 
2014-01-03 01:57:10 PM
i254.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-03 01:58:08 PM
Parenting books are about the easiest thing to sell.  You can either go the "encourage your kids to do things or don't" like this and get people to like you and buy your book, or go the Tiger Mom route and get outraged parents to buy your book.

The upper-middle class loves to talk about parenting and they've got all the disposable income so if you're interested in being a writer to make money then this should be your focus.
 
2014-01-03 01:58:48 PM
Anybody who has to learn that from a book hopefully is reading it while their child is still an infant.
 
2014-01-03 01:59:09 PM
1. Is the Obvious tag busy forcing his dimwitted child to apply to all the Ivy League schools?

2. You have to learn to distinguish between the known unknowns and the unknown unknowns
 
2014-01-03 01:59:34 PM
Good summary of the issue: "Michael" by William Wordsworth.

So, the advice is a bit older than Rummy.
 
2014-01-03 01:59:57 PM
Psssshtt.... whatever.

If I ever have kids, they're going to be straight A students, be the great at sports, and have interesting hobbies and interests.

I mean, as long as I can accomplish that by drinking beer on the couch.
 
2014-01-03 02:00:36 PM
Funny, Mrs id10t and I try to raise our kids to be the kinds of people we want in the world... ie, no bigots, no religious nuts, etc.
 
2014-01-03 02:01:29 PM
HaywoodJablonski: 2. You have to learn to distinguish between the known unknowns and the unknown unknowns

What?
 
2014-01-03 02:02:43 PM
Recognizing your children's limits instead of expecting the impossible out of them is strange advice?
 
2014-01-03 02:03:03 PM

ChipNASA:


My kids flinch. It's embarrassing but satisfying.
 
2014-01-03 02:03:03 PM

mike_d85: HaywoodJablonski: 2. You have to learn to distinguish between the known unknowns and the unknown unknowns

What?


http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/There_are_known_knowns
 
2014-01-03 02:03:14 PM
He'll be the child I want to raise if he continues his workout regimine at full speed, everyday. I'm not raising a damn second-stringer.
 
2014-01-03 02:06:47 PM

HaywoodJablonski: mike_d85: HaywoodJablonski: 2. You have to learn to distinguish between the known unknowns and the unknown unknowns

What?

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/There_are_known_knowns


Sometimes these setups work.  Sometimes they don't.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_w5JqQLqqTc
 
2014-01-03 02:08:38 PM
Wait wait wait wait... you're saying that children are people, too? Get the fark outta here... next you'll be telling me that the sky is blue or some other such poppycock.
 
2014-01-03 02:08:48 PM
Louis CK said it best. You don't raise the child, you raise the adult they will become.
 
2014-01-03 02:08:50 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-03 02:11:28 PM
Well, who knew that humvees with plastic sheet side walls/door panels wouldn't stop bullets? What, the movie "BlackHawk Down" wasn't enough for them?  I know, let's talk about disbanding the Iraqii Army and Police forces, yet leaving everyone and their Uncle with an AK or RPG... and all those sweet ethnic and religious hatreds which go back a zillion years... then ask Rummy about Iranian influences, he didn't know about any of that either.

And I was in the Army way back then too... ( drove jeeps and humvees with plastic sheet doors/ side windows in war games all day long!). (and M113's without those fancy armored turrets too. ie Vietnam war lesson)
 
2014-01-03 02:12:30 PM
See what happens when you can't love the one you want, so you love the one your with?
 
2014-01-03 02:13:11 PM
Jesus, how hard is it.

known unknown.
shiat you know about, but not enough.   Like you know the wife seems to always have to go to walmart very friday and saturday night, and it takes 2 hours for some reason, and its always " a ton of people and only one checkout line".
In this case, you know shiat is up, because you have gone in on friday night and it sure as shiat didnt take you more than 20 minutes.
So you know some shiat is up, but you dont know your wife finally stopped hounding you for money finally, not because she decided to live within her means, but because she was servicing guys at the truck stop for extra money.

unknown unknown.
shiat you don't know about.  Like that meteor coming next Tuesday.
 
2014-01-03 02:15:36 PM

ChipNASA:


Awesome
 
2014-01-03 02:17:05 PM
Bullsh*t! My son and daughter are going to professional snowboarders that play in a hugely successful band with hand made surreal art they painted hanging for the backdrop that sells for millions of dollars that they will use to treat all the ails the human race.
 
2014-01-03 02:21:08 PM

cgraves67: Everything in moderation. Have expectations for your children. But don't freak the hell out when your kids don't live up to them.


farm4.staticflickr.com
 
2014-01-03 02:23:36 PM

Nutsac_Jim: Jesus, how hard is it.


It's not the concept that's the problem, it's that Rumsfeld is a foolhardy, pompous piece of sh*t.
 
2014-01-03 02:29:22 PM
I'm sure any parent who's changed a particularly full diaper is familiar with Shock and Awe.
 
2014-01-03 02:33:26 PM
Unfortunately, advice like this doesn't work in a culture that has forgotten the difference between "accepting people as they are" and "turning a blind eye to people's BS".
 
2014-01-03 02:38:57 PM
Now that I'm in the Parent demographic (and actually paying attention), I've realized as well that too many people don't quite realize that the purpose of parenthood is to produce a worthwhile adult.
 
2014-01-03 02:44:30 PM

busy chillin': Bullsh*t! My son and daughter are going to professional snowboarders that play in a hugely successful band with hand made surreal art they painted hanging for the backdrop that sells for millions of dollars that they will use to treat all the ails the human race.


Dude...that is so righteous

s3.amazonaws.com
 
2014-01-03 03:04:06 PM
This is actually one of the things that's kind of liberating about adopting.  I have no expectations that my kids will grow up like me or my wife.  They don't look like us, they don't act like us, they don't have the same interests, and I can't expect them too.  So long as we manage to turn them out to be polite, kind and tolerant I'll be ok.

It can cause issues though: both kids are massive extroverts- they want to be around other people, pretty much all the time.  Wife and I are introverts who like quiet time.  This causes a lot of friction.

/Kind of failing on the polite bit.  Both of them have serious mouths on them...
 
2014-01-03 03:17:58 PM
I really thought "You go to war with the army you have, not the army you wish you had" was a quote from some one other than Rumsfeld. Like Patton or Grant or someone.
 
2014-01-03 03:19:09 PM

Rent Party: That is really good advice, subby.  Most parents have a hard time when they realize that their children are not mindless automatons that obey your every wish, but are messy farking people with ideas, agendas and motivations all their own.


THIS! My brother in a nutshell. Expects his daughter to be a mindless automaton and can't grasp that she is a person.

//almost can't stand to be around when he is spending time with her. Makes me so angry.
 
2014-01-03 03:20:50 PM

Glockenspiel Hero: This is actually one of the things that's kind of liberating about adopting.  I have no expectations that my kids will grow up like me or my wife.  They don't look like us, they don't act like us, they don't have the same interests, and I can't expect them too.  So long as we manage to turn them out to be polite, kind and tolerant I'll be ok.

It can cause issues though: both kids are massive extroverts- they want to be around other people, pretty much all the time.  Wife and I are introverts who like quiet time.  This causes a lot of friction.

/Kind of failing on the polite bit.  Both of them have serious mouths on them...


My sister and her ex-skinhead husband are trying to adopt.  I'm going to laugh when he has a black kid.  Hard.

He has racist bottle openers.  I mean, really.  I get racist.  But racist BOTTLE OPENERS?  WTF, man.
 
2014-01-03 03:23:44 PM
Rumsfeld's a smart guy. Like, as CEO of Searle he got aspartame approved even though it's completely unfit for human consumption. That takes a smart guy.
 
2014-01-03 03:36:34 PM

mike_d85: Glockenspiel Hero: This is actually one of the things that's kind of liberating about adopting.  I have no expectations that my kids will grow up like me or my wife.  They don't look like us, they don't act like us, they don't have the same interests, and I can't expect them too.  So long as we manage to turn them out to be polite, kind and tolerant I'll be ok.

It can cause issues though: both kids are massive extroverts- they want to be around other people, pretty much all the time.  Wife and I are introverts who like quiet time.  This causes a lot of friction.

/Kind of failing on the polite bit.  Both of them have serious mouths on them...

My sister and her ex-skinhead husband are trying to adopt.  I'm going to laugh when he has a black kid.  Hard.

He has racist bottle openers.  I mean, really.  I get racist.  But racist BOTTLE OPENERS?  WTF, man.


i1.ytimg.com

Liz: His name is "Black Dennis"? That is so racist!
Dennis: Yeah right, Liz. The guy with the black son is racist.
 
2014-01-03 03:37:54 PM
Yes, maybe Billy can only be a mechanic. Trade school is better than collage.

Same goes for Timmy. If he has so many birth defects he can't even say his own name, maybe don't burden the rest of the world by insisting he go all the way through high school in mainstream classes.
 
2014-01-03 03:38:28 PM
Parents have been advised to "raise the child you have, not the child you want" for a long time. I remember hearing it in the '80s, in the Original Fat Oprah era.
 
2014-01-03 03:40:01 PM

mike_d85: Glockenspiel Hero: This is actually one of the things that's kind of liberating about adopting.  I have no expectations that my kids will grow up like me or my wife.  They don't look like us, they don't act like us, they don't have the same interests, and I can't expect them too.  So long as we manage to turn them out to be polite, kind and tolerant I'll be ok.

It can cause issues though: both kids are massive extroverts- they want to be around other people, pretty much all the time.  Wife and I are introverts who like quiet time.  This causes a lot of friction.

/Kind of failing on the polite bit.  Both of them have serious mouths on them...

My sister and her ex-skinhead husband are trying to adopt.  I'm going to laugh when he has a black kid.  Hard.

He has racist bottle openers.  I mean, really.  I get racist.  But racist BOTTLE OPENERS?  WTF, man.


He's unlikely to have anti racist bottle openers, now is he? But if he's that racist I doubt he'd be okay with the effort and expense of raising a black child. And goose stepping into the adoption agency like John Cleese in "the Germans" is not likely to get them approved anyway.
 
2014-01-03 03:49:20 PM

mike_d85: HaywoodJablonski: mike_d85: HaywoodJablonski: 2. You have to learn to distinguish between the known unknowns and the unknown unknowns

What?

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/There_are_known_knowns

Sometimes these setups work.  Sometimes they don't.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_w5JqQLqqTc


Expecting people to pick up on the pop culture reference that is a mash up of two other pop culture references when people are likely to identify the original pop culture reference? Let me know how that works out for you...
 
2014-01-03 03:51:08 PM
We practice the philosophy that we can't control anyone but ourselves. We can't make the kids like stuff they don't, and just because I don't care for something that they find important doesn't make their interest in it less valid. Just because I'm older the stuff I care about and am interested in isn't necessarily better. They'll probably need therapy no matter what, so I just do what's easiest for me.

That being said, I so wish my son was calm and introverted like me instead of being off the walls and wanting to socialize every second of the day.
 
2014-01-03 03:58:32 PM

AirForceVet: Yes and no. One needs to push their kids forward but not toward goals that are unrealistic for their skills, abilities and desires.

Too bad kids don't come with instruction manuals.


Mine did.  But it was one of those indecipherable Ikea pictogram sheets.  After I followed it as best I could, it turns out my wife gave birth to a bookshelf.
 
2014-01-03 04:16:03 PM
i.telegraph.co.uk
 
2014-01-03 04:22:34 PM

Rent Party: That is really good advice, subby.  Most parents have a hard time whenUntil they realize that their children are not mindless automatons that obey your every wish, but are messy farking people with ideas, agendas and motivations all their own.


That's when parents find out the most effective tools: Bribery, and extortion.
 
2014-01-03 04:30:11 PM

ChipNASA:


I was going to say, if your child is already a blubbering infant...
 
2014-01-03 04:32:08 PM

tlars699: Rent Party: That is really good advice, subby.  Most parents have a hard time whenUntil they realize that their children are not mindless automatons that obey your every wish, but are messy farking people with ideas, agendas and motivations all their own.

That's when parents find out the most effective tools: Bribery, and extortion.


The most effective tool is coming to grips with the fact that you can't determine an outcome for your kids.  You work your ass off to get them pointed in a general direction (law abiding, happy, etc...) but that they are going to do all the work to eventually go where they want, anyway.
 
2014-01-03 05:57:13 PM
So.... realism.
 
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