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(Daily Mail)   FBI arrests dead banker after police smell something fishy   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 35
    More: Interesting, FBI, forged document, ferry slip, preliminary hearing, u.s. treasury securities, traffic violations  
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6911 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jan 2014 at 12:47 AM (15 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



35 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-01 11:43:28 PM
You know, if you're gonna fake your death, you might want to get your ass out of the region you lived in.

/and be a little more careful what and how you are driving
 
2014-01-02 12:18:05 AM

twistedmetal: You know, if you're gonna fake your death, you might want to get your ass out of the region you lived in.

/and be a little more careful what and how you are driving


No kidding. And with $20 million he couldn't score himself a new identity?
 
2014-01-02 12:53:02 AM

fusillade762: twistedmetal: You know, if you're gonna fake your death, you might want to get your ass out of the region you lived in.

/and be a little more careful what and how you are driving

No kidding. And with $20 million he couldn't score himself a new identity?


He had fake information. Just not good fake information
 
2014-01-02 12:54:44 AM

wingedkat: fusillade762: twistedmetal: You know, if you're gonna fake your death, you might want to get your ass out of the region you lived in.

/and be a little more careful what and how you are driving

No kidding. And with $20 million he couldn't score himself a new identity?

He had fake information. Just not good fake information


Clearly he hadn't read a John Grishmah novel.
 
2014-01-02 12:56:57 AM
Through a glass darkly.
 
2014-01-02 12:58:41 AM
What an idiot. He could have just crossed into Mexico (nobody checks for people going that way) then used his old passport to travel to a non-extradition country and spent the rest of his life on a beach drinking mojitos. With $20 million he could fly the family out to visit whenever he wanted.

Is Georgia so nice you'd risk life in prison to stay there?
 
2014-01-02 01:07:22 AM
"Former Minister"

Nice touch.
 
2014-01-02 01:08:32 AM
I thought zombies were bad, but zombie bankers?

That's a whole new ring of hell.
 
2014-01-02 01:12:06 AM

Gunther: What an idiot. He could have just crossed into Mexico (nobody checks for people going that way) then used his old passport to travel to a non-extradition country and spent the rest of his life on a beach drinking mojitos. With $20 million he could fly the family out to visit whenever he wanted.

Is Georgia so nice you'd risk life in prison to stay there?


And he wasn't even keeping in touch with his family. WTF?
 
2014-01-02 01:12:13 AM
Tinted Window violation? Seriously ? Come on man , that has got to be stupidest thing to trip up a wanted felon.
 
2014-01-02 01:12:47 AM
Jump you Farker!
 
2014-01-02 01:23:36 AM
January 1st and we already have a top contended for stupidest criminal of the year. And if he really let his family though he killed himself, he also merit a Husband/Father of the year nomination.
 
2014-01-02 01:26:52 AM
He was only mostly dead.

There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do.

Go through the pockets and look for loose change.
 
2014-01-02 01:28:41 AM
At least the check to the judge cleared. Nice.
 
2014-01-02 01:32:54 AM

grimlock1972: Tinted Window violation? Seriously ? Come on man , that has got to be stupidest thing to trip up a wanted felon.


Keep your windows clear and your front license plate attached.  Can't tell you how many kids in my car club get pulled over and (some) get their cars impounded because the cop had a reason to pull them over.  Oh, and put a muffler on that thing too
 
2014-01-02 01:39:14 AM

Watubi: grimlock1972: Tinted Window violation? Seriously ? Come on man , that has got to be stupidest thing to trip up a wanted felon.

Keep your windows clear and your front license plate attached.  Can't tell you how many kids in my car club get pulled over and (some) get their cars impounded because the cop had a reason to pull them over.  Oh, and put a muffler on that thing too


So many people in California think the front plate is optional.  Surprise!  Required by law!  No exceptions!
 
2014-01-02 01:46:15 AM

noitsnot: Watubi: grimlock1972: Tinted Window violation? Seriously ? Come on man , that has got to be stupidest thing to trip up a wanted felon.

Keep your windows clear and your front license plate attached.  Can't tell you how many kids in my car club get pulled over and (some) get their cars impounded because the cop had a reason to pull them over.  Oh, and put a muffler on that thing too

So many people in California think the front plate is optional.  Surprise!  Required by law!  No exceptions!


But I have an expensive car! I don't want to screw a plate onto the front bumper!
 
2014-01-02 01:48:15 AM

propasaurus: noitsnot: Watubi: grimlock1972: Tinted Window violation? Seriously ? Come on man , that has got to be stupidest thing to trip up a wanted felon.

Keep your windows clear and your front license plate attached.  Can't tell you how many kids in my car club get pulled over and (some) get their cars impounded because the cop had a reason to pull them over.  Oh, and put a muffler on that thing too

So many people in California think the front plate is optional.  Surprise!  Required by law!  No exceptions!

But I have an expensive car! I don't want to screw a plate onto the front bumper!


No worries!  Lemme just nailgun that bad boy onto your new 911 for you.

Oops!  A little bit crooked.  I don't think anyone will notice...
 
2014-01-02 02:25:35 AM

twistedmetal: You know, if you're gonna fake your death, you might want to get your ass out of the region you lived in.

/and be a little more careful what and how you are driving


cinema1544.files.wordpress.com

Agrees, in retrospect.
 
2014-01-02 03:26:58 AM
He must not have greased the right palms. Florida is the insurance and investment fraud capital of the Nation. All he would have had to do is contribute to the right campaign and he'd have been free and clear until the Statute of Limitations ran out. Florida has gotten more than a few Governors and Congressmen that way.
 
2014-01-02 03:38:55 AM

fusillade762: twistedmetal: You know, if you're gonna fake your death, you might want to get your ass out of the region you lived in.

/and be a little more careful what and how you are driving

No kidding. And with $20 million he couldn't score himself a new identity?


He didn't have $20m.  He just lost $20m of other people's money and lied about it, according to TFA.
 
2014-01-02 03:48:17 AM

Gunther: What an idiot. He could have just crossed into Mexico (nobody checks for people going that way) then used his old passport to travel to a non-extradition country and spent the rest of his life on a beach drinking mojitos. With $20 million he could fly the family out to visit whenever he wanted.

Is Georgia so nice you'd risk life in prison to stay there?


Hell, I'd risk federal prison to get out.
 
2014-01-02 03:48:59 AM

opiumpoopy: fusillade762: twistedmetal: You know, if you're gonna fake your death, you might want to get your ass out of the region you lived in.

/and be a little more careful what and how you are driving

No kidding. And with $20 million he couldn't score himself a new identity?

He didn't have $20m.  He just lost $20m of other people's money and lied about it, according to TFA.


From TFA:
Authorities believe Price slipped away with up to $17 million of investors' money.
 
2014-01-02 03:59:57 AM

propasaurus: opiumpoopy: fusillade762: twistedmetal: You know, if you're gonna fake your death, you might want to get your ass out of the region you lived in.

/and be a little more careful what and how you are driving

No kidding. And with $20 million he couldn't score himself a new identity?

He didn't have $20m.  He just lost $20m of other people's money and lied about it, according to TFA.

From TFA:
Authorities believe Price slipped away with up to $17 million of investors' money.


Well I was kinda right
 
2014-01-02 05:01:10 AM

wingedkat: fusillade762: twistedmetal: You know, if you're gonna fake your death, you might want to get your ass out of the region you lived in.

/and be a little more careful what and how you are driving

No kidding. And with $20 million he couldn't score himself a new identity?

He had fake information. Just not good fake information


i1136.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-02 05:24:41 AM

twistedmetal: You know, if you're gonna fake your death, you might want to get your ass out of the region you lived in.

/and be a little more careful what and how you are driving


Can almost see him being in the area (St. Simons, Sea Island).  But drive up Cocaine Alley with tinted windows?  You are just asking for an interdiction search.
 
2014-01-02 05:45:13 AM
So no one thinks it odd that you can have someone declared dead in just a year, with no remains and nothing but a suicide note?  Sounds like a great way to collect the life insurance money to use as a cover while spending the stolen loot and maintaining the fine style of living you have brown accustomed to.
 
2014-01-02 07:23:45 AM
Wanted. Legally dead or alive.
 
2014-01-02 09:07:05 AM
Affluenza defense, it is not his fault. Anything more than  probation is cruel and unusual punishment.
 
2014-01-02 09:23:14 AM

hestheone: So no one thinks it odd that you can have someone declared dead in just a year, with no remains and nothing but a suicide note?  Sounds like a great way to collect the life insurance money to use as a cover while spending the stolen loot and maintaining the fine style of living you have brown accustomed to.


As posted above, apparently his check to the Florida judge cleared the bank. However, the FBI understood him to be alive and thought it was odd. Why?

The timing was wrong. There were no allegations of theft before this guy claimed suicide. Invariably the guy attempts suicide after he gets caught. A recent example is that Cleveland kidnapper, Ariel Castro, who hanged himself in prison. He had years to be remorseful for kidnapping those women. It was only after his capture that he successfully attempted suicide.

The bankster was a habitual con artist. He scammed a previous clients. At least one, Deborah Le Morse - according to SEC docs - won a financial settlement. Faking a suicide would be standard procedure.

He had no formal training or education in finance. He used his Baptist ministry to create a greasy veil of legitimacy. The Baptist church doesn't consider suicide a sin, but an ultimate act of repentance because the perp can sin no more. Faking a suicide and claiming repentance would continue to dupe his favorite rubes.

He had active ministry connections in Guatemala and Venezuela. He owns real estate in Venezuela. His boat, large enough to sail between Florida and Venezuela, has been unaccounted for.

Wrong timing, standard con artist behavior, motivation and means. The weird thing is the tinted windows.
 
2014-01-02 11:14:55 AM
He didn't spend enough on his plastic surgeon.
 
2014-01-02 12:58:42 PM
What happened senator, checks start bouncing?
 
2014-01-02 02:50:36 PM

stuffy: What happened senator, checks start bouncing?


No, just less than requested.

Cheapskate.
 
2014-01-02 05:33:00 PM
Made me think of the guy from The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
 
2014-01-03 03:52:09 AM

mithras_angel: He was only mostly dead.

There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do.

Go through the pockets and look for loose change.


I fine this man, uh, 50 dollars for disturbing the peace and 10 dollars for lying around.

i.ebayimg.com
 
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