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(Huffington Post)   Eleven reasons you should quit Facebook this year   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 143
    More: PSA, Facebook, behavioural sciences, contact list, Salman Rushdie, J. Edgar, other mother  
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18054 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jan 2014 at 1:06 AM (37 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



143 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-01-02 12:03:30 AM
Oh goodie, another thread where everyone proclaims how they're too good to have a Facebook account in the first place.
 
2014-01-02 01:09:31 AM
Jokes on them, I'm so good I don't even have... ah crap it's another thread where someone anticipated what I was going to say on a given topic, therefore making me feel small and worthless.
 
2014-01-02 01:10:55 AM
Ha!

I'm too good to gave a Facebook account in the first place!
 
2014-01-02 01:11:07 AM
But where am I supposed to woo the 15 year old biatches if not facebook?
 
2014-01-02 01:12:41 AM
Nothing to see here.

Just like my facebook page.
 
2014-01-02 01:13:29 AM
But where else am I going to pretend to be funny by stealing headline of the week candidates and passing them off as my own?
 
2014-01-02 01:14:34 AM
Well, duh.
 
2014-01-02 01:16:26 AM
I'm pretty sure I've still got a Makeoutclub profile
 
2014-01-02 01:18:09 AM

fusillade762: Oh goodie, another thread where everyone proclaims how they're too good to have a Facebook account in the first place.


Yo!
 
2014-01-02 01:19:03 AM
i only have one to ironically make fun of the the losers who are still on there.
 
2014-01-02 01:19:16 AM
11 reasons I should quit social networking sites and news aggregators - wait, Im on a site posting about this right now, maybe I should realise the irony ... (at least facebook does not have special badges for sale...  that would be 5 bucks worth of monthly trashy)
 
2014-01-02 01:19:53 AM
The quality of your Facebook experience is proportional to the quality of your friends.
 
2014-01-02 01:21:37 AM
I actually thought I might sign up this year since my 15 year hs reunion should be happening. That's the one people usually go to right?
 
2014-01-02 01:21:48 AM

fusillade762: Oh goodie, another thread where everyone proclaims how they're too good to have a Facebook account in the first place.


I'm too good to have a facebook account in the first place.

Seriously, I've never had one.
 
2014-01-02 01:23:28 AM

fusillade762: Oh goodie, another thread where everyone proclaims how they're too good to have a Facebook account in the first place.


How about:

It took a long time to get those assholes out of my life. Why the fark would I invite them back in by being accessible on FB?

/If I want to stay in touch, I'll call or email directly.
 
2014-01-02 01:25:11 AM
Elven reasons?

Only two I can think of is that the women who are your age look 10 and the women who look your age are ninety.
 
2014-01-02 01:26:46 AM
I'm going back to Myspace
 
2014-01-02 01:27:29 AM

Slartibartfaster: 11 reasons I should quit social networking sites and news aggregators - wait, Im on a site posting about this right now, maybe I should realise the irony ... (at least facebook does not have special badges for sale...  that would be 5 bucks worth of monthly trashy)


Some of us LIKE spending that $5 to get into bizarre fights with strangers, collect gifs, and drunkenly flirt with people much older or younger than us and wake up to a huge mess of shame.
 
2014-01-02 01:27:47 AM
What's Facebook?
 
2014-01-02 01:29:12 AM
I have an account on vk.com. Russians everywhere.
 
2014-01-02 01:29:20 AM
9a.  Your friends keep announcing their pregnancies by changing their picture to a sonogram photo.  I'm happy for you, but I'm getting inundated and it's a bit much.

/Announcements for kid #2, #3, etc are pictures of the first kid with an "I'm a big sibling" shirt
//Or the kid holding a picture of the sonogram pic like one of my friends did.
 
2014-01-02 01:34:22 AM
#0 - all your senior citizen relatives are on it, and the only excuse you have for being on something that makes everyone on it so miserable is that they are forcing you to be on it and you're too pathetic to say no to your nana.
 
2014-01-02 01:34:58 AM
Facebook is a blackplanet ripoff, which targets hipster crackers and skanks instead of hoochie mamas and gangbangers.

I've got one anyway.
 
2014-01-02 01:35:00 AM

megarian: Slartibartfaster: 11 reasons I should quit social networking sites and news aggregators - wait, Im on a site posting about this right now, maybe I should realise the irony ... (at least facebook does not have special badges for sale...  that would be 5 bucks worth of monthly trashy)

Some of us LIKE spending that $5 to get into bizarre fights with strangers, collect gifs, and drunkenly flirt with people much older or younger than us and wake up to a huge mess of shame.


With helpful picture of what a huge mess of shame might look like?
 
2014-01-02 01:36:47 AM
But so many websites/ apps use facebook to log in...they make it impossible to make the usernames and passwords the same for every website. I can't remember all that shiat. And seriously, if I got my username and or password wrong, it'd be a lot easier to figure out if they'd just tell you which one you got wrong.
 
2014-01-02 01:39:59 AM
FTFA 8. You realize you only know and care about only 20 people out of your 1,000 friends.
  20?
YEA RIGHT ...TRY 10. AND MOST  OF THEM DON'T GIVE A FARK WHAT YOUR FACE BOOK SAYS...  BECAUSE THEY DON'T EVEN READ IT.
 
2014-01-02 01:40:42 AM
I guess this might not be the best place to ask, but I don't know where else to turn.  How do I sign up for Facebook?
One of the ladies I work with has it, and she seems to like it quite a bit.
 
2014-01-02 01:41:55 AM

megarian: collect gifs, and drunkenly flirt with people much older or younger than us and wake up to a huge mess of shame


hmmm drunken flirting
OK now I want to total fark
(generally I just buy that for others, but you already have it)
 
2014-01-02 01:42:27 AM
I'm so old, I remember when these types of articles were about:
* 11 reasons why you should quit email
* 11 reasons why you should quit telephones
* 11 reasons why you should quit postal-carrier mail

Okay, I"m not THAT old, but every generation is afraid of the new way to keep in touch because it might be abused.  Get over it.
 
2014-01-02 01:43:49 AM
These keep coming up, so here is my list of how to properly use Facebook.

1. Don't post. Or at least don't post often. If you have more then two post a month, you are posting far too much.
2. Don't friend people you don't actually know or like. If you would feel awkward getting a cup of coffee with said person, then don't friend them.
3. Check your feed no more then once a day. Seriously, stop farking checking every five minutes.

I find Facebook, even with it's annoyances, can be a useful tool to keep in touch with friends and family and a quick log in service for site forums. It only gets bad when people misuse it or add a million people they don't know.
 
2014-01-02 01:44:59 AM
THAT DOES IT.

I'm totally deleting my FB developer account.

*flounces out*

pigasus.antville.org
 
2014-01-02 01:45:27 AM

crinz83: I guess this might not be the best place to ask, but I don't know where else to turn.  How do I sign up for Facebook?
One of the ladies I work with has it, and she seems to like it quite a bit.


http://thewallmachine.com http://thewallmachine.com

// warning I am kidding, do not do this seriously
 
2014-01-02 01:45:41 AM

italie: megarian: Slartibartfaster: 11 reasons I should quit social networking sites and news aggregators - wait, Im on a site posting about this right now, maybe I should realise the irony ... (at least facebook does not have special badges for sale...  that would be 5 bucks worth of monthly trashy)

Some of us LIKE spending that $5 to get into bizarre fights with strangers, collect gifs, and drunkenly flirt with people much older or younger than us and wake up to a huge mess of shame.

With helpful picture of what a huge mess of shame might look like?


Absolutely!
 
2014-01-02 01:46:46 AM

oldtaku: #0 - all your senior citizen relatives are on it, and the only excuse you have for being on something that makes everyone on it so miserable is that they are forcing you to be on it and you're too pathetic to say no to your nana.


Yup. My family has tried to guilt me into getting an account repeatedly over the years. Listening to people talk, I'd guess that some grudging sense of social obligation is the main reason most people are on there in the first place.

Fark that. If I was interested in that sort of scene, I'd go back to church.
 
2014-01-02 01:47:05 AM

Slartibartfaster: megarian: collect gifs, and drunkenly flirt with people much older or younger than us and wake up to a huge mess of shame

hmmm drunken flirting
OK now I want to total fark
(generally I just buy that for others, but you already have it)


I'm only mostly kidding, but not by much.
 
2014-01-02 01:47:57 AM
Never joined...

My dumbass joined Adult Friend Finder, back in the 00's.

/My Pitbull will keep you off my lawn.
 
2014-01-02 01:48:10 AM
 So basically this article was complaining that the author doesn't know how to use facebook.

 With the exception of 4 and 10, most of the items they complained about you have DIRECT control over in terms of your "experience".

 Break up with an ex? UNFRIEND THEM! See, now they don't see your timeline!

 Friend suggestions? Why the fark are you even looking at those?

 Only care about 20 of the 50billion friends? Clean your friend list!

 Your friends are announcing their engagements? Try being happy for them! Turning it into some "what's wrong with my life?" issue is YOUR farked up stupidity, not theirs.

 There are a lot of things wrong with facebook, no doubts. But in this case, the article showed more what was wrong with the author.
 
2014-01-02 01:48:23 AM

Alx_xlA: The quality of your Facebook experience is proportional to the quality of your friends.


Inversely, right?
 
2014-01-02 01:50:01 AM
Most these 'reasons' either apply to teenagers or morons who use it to document their life rather than pass on news.

1. you should use pictures (paraphrased) - no I shouldn't. I don't have a camera much of the time and some things don't lend themselves to pictures, such as 'My cat died today', or 'changing jobs - starting work at XXX Monday'.

2. Facebook makes it impossible to stay private - no it doesn't. There is nothing compelling you to post details of your life. Just control yourself a little when posting, and only post things that you don't mind being public.

3. Your parents are watching your every move - no they are not. My parents are in their 70s and even though my mother has an account, she only looks once a month or so. Teens that don't want their parents to watch them can either not friend them or not post anything that they don't feel is public.

4. They (parents) are posting pictures you don't want seen - No-one takes kid pictures seriously and if you are an adult, maybe you shouldn't let people take pictures of you doing things that you don't want displayed publicly (notice a trend here?).

5. Facebook is tracking what you don't say - in other words, writing, but not posting something doesn't wipe it from their database. Again, if you control yourself, and don't even type what you don't plan to post they have nothing.

6. Facebook makes you feel less positive about your life - only if you feel brought down by other people's happiness and accomplishments.

7. The "friend suggestions" tell you to befriend people you don't know - Really? you can't just ignore the box on the side? They are suggestions based on the links you have, not commandments from God.

8. You realize that you only care for 20 of your 1000 friends - who's fault is that? No-one MADE you friend those people, just friend people you know and like.

9. Your friends keep announcing their engagements- Er...I'd WANT to know if my friends got engaged. What kind of insecure self-centered douchbag does this article think it's readers are that this is considered a reason to quit FB?

10. Excessive ads ruin the experience - Ignore them, just like you do TV ads.

11. It makes getting over a breakup really hard. - It also gives you a support network. Again, control who is on your friends list and it wouldn't be that hard.
 
2014-01-02 01:51:21 AM

cuzsis: So basically this article was complaining that the author doesn't know how to use facebook.

 With the exception of 4 and 10, most of the items they complained about you have DIRECT control over in terms of your "experience".

 Break up with an ex? UNFRIEND THEM! See, now they don't see your timeline!

 Friend suggestions? Why the fark are you even looking at those?

 Only care about 20 of the 50billion friends? Clean your friend list!

 Your friends are announcing their engagements? Try being happy for them! Turning it into some "what's wrong with my life?" issue is YOUR farked up stupidity, not theirs.

 There are a lot of things wrong with facebook, no doubts. But in this case, the article showed more what was wrong with the author.


HAY! Don't get all logical and reasonable up in here.
 
2014-01-02 01:53:06 AM
I don't have any friends so I am already ahead of the curve.
 
2014-01-02 01:53:52 AM

NotARocketScientist: Most these 'reasons' either apply to teenagers or morons who use it to document their life rather than pass on news.

1. you should use pictures (paraphrased) - no I shouldn't. I don't have a camera much of the time and some things don't lend themselves to pictures, such as 'My cat died today', or 'changing jobs - starting work at XXX Monday'.

2. Facebook makes it impossible to stay private - no it doesn't. There is nothing compelling you to post details of your life. Just control yourself a little when posting, and only post things that you don't mind being public.

3. Your parents are watching your every move - no they are not. My parents are in their 70s and even though my mother has an account, she only looks once a month or so. Teens that don't want their parents to watch them can either not friend them or not post anything that they don't feel is public.

4. They (parents) are posting pictures you don't want seen - No-one takes kid pictures seriously and if you are an adult, maybe you shouldn't let people take pictures of you doing things that you don't want displayed publicly (notice a trend here?).

5. Facebook is tracking what you don't say - in other words, writing, but not posting something doesn't wipe it from their database. Again, if you control yourself, and don't even type what you don't plan to post they have nothing.

6. Facebook makes you feel less positive about your life - only if you feel brought down by other people's happiness and accomplishments.

7. The "friend suggestions" tell you to befriend people you don't know - Really? you can't just ignore the box on the side? They are suggestions based on the links you have, not commandments from God.

8. You realize that you only care for 20 of your 1000 friends - who's fault is that? No-one MADE you friend those people, just friend people you know and like.

9. Your friends keep announcing their engagements- Er...I'd WANT to know if my friends got engaged. What kind of insecure self-centered dou ...


What NotaRocketScientist said also.
 
2014-01-02 01:54:28 AM

megarian: cuzsis: So basically this article was complaining that the author doesn't know how to use facebook.

 With the exception of 4 and 10, most of the items they complained about you have DIRECT control over in terms of your "experience".

 Break up with an ex? UNFRIEND THEM! See, now they don't see your timeline!

 Friend suggestions? Why the fark are you even looking at those?

 Only care about 20 of the 50billion friends? Clean your friend list!

 Your friends are announcing their engagements? Try being happy for them! Turning it into some "what's wrong with my life?" issue is YOUR farked up stupidity, not theirs.

 There are a lot of things wrong with facebook, no doubts. But in this case, the article showed more what was wrong with the author.

HAY! Don't get all logical and reasonable up in here.


Ah shoot, sorry about that.

 Clearly I need more sleep.
 
2014-01-02 01:55:04 AM
Why eleven reasons, why not ten or fifteen or none?

/gas Huffington Post.
 
2014-01-02 01:56:02 AM

fusillade762: Oh goodie, another thread where everyone proclaims how they're too good to have a Facebook account in the first place.


I have a facebook account - I use it to post how all the totalfarkers have to pay 5 bucks a month to hit the "smart/funny button" earlier than the ones that don't pay 5 bucks. Then I sit back a bit to wait to complain about how news aggregator sites are lame and lack actual editorial insight. Then I post some sponsored site links and generally just ignore banner links whilst complaining about corporatism. It is kinda how the internet rolls now.
 
2014-01-02 01:56:03 AM

DarkVader: fusillade762: Oh goodie, another thread where everyone proclaims how they're too good to have a Facebook account in the first place.

I'm too good to have a facebook account in the first place.

Seriously, I've never had one.


I get my self worth from bragging about things that I don't do - like signing up for certain websites. I know people are rivited by this information.
 
2014-01-02 01:56:30 AM
cuzsis:
Ah shoot, sorry about that.

 Clearly I need more sleep.


Na. You should get blackout drunk and post ridiculous stuff on Facebook.

Or here. Your call.
 
2014-01-02 01:58:42 AM
Surprisingly, most of them works for "why you should quit Fark this year." Especially "no one reads your post," "makes you feel less positive about your life," and "excessive ads."
 
2014-01-02 02:01:37 AM
But how else will I be able to communicate my elite taste in anime to people I haven't spoken to in years?
 
2014-01-02 02:03:08 AM
Reason #12  If you want to see what the assholes are up to, you can just go to Fark.
 
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