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(io9)   Homo Sapiens, 195,000 BC-2100 AD. RIP   (io9.com) divider line 116
    More: Scary, University of New South Wales, cloud cover  
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8838 clicks; posted to Geek » on 01 Jan 2014 at 11:33 AM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-01 10:49:42 AM
So, we won't even be around in the year 4545, when you ain't gonna need your teeth, won't need your eyes... You won't find a thing to chewwwwww... Nobody's gonna look at you?
 
2014-01-01 11:23:05 AM
Ain't gonna need no husband, won't need no wife
You'll pick your son, pick your daughter too
From the bottom of a long glass tube
 
2014-01-01 11:28:45 AM

shanrick: Ain't gonna need no husband, won't need no wife
You'll pick your son, pick your daughter too
From the bottom of a long glass tube


Woah, woah.
 
2014-01-01 11:37:58 AM
And the hell of it is the doomsday preppers won't have an answer for it. Most of them are prepping for Mad Max, not Waterworld.
 
2014-01-01 11:45:37 AM
Given a problem, someone has come to fix it, so long as the problem was not caused by entire neglect. This will be no different.

/DNRTFA
//Confident I could fix it.
///New years!!
 
2014-01-01 11:46:29 AM
 
2014-01-01 11:46:40 AM
Now this is the smart way to make a doomsday prediction. Far enough out that you'll be dead, but not so far in the future that people don't care about it.
 
2014-01-01 11:48:07 AM
I thought the SOP here is that subby clicks on the source of the Gawker article and submit THAT link instead?
 
2014-01-01 11:48:17 AM

FirstNationalBastard: So, we won't even be around in the year 4545, when you ain't gonna need your teeth, won't need your eyes... You won't find a thing to chewwwwww... Nobody's gonna look at you?


shanrick: Ain't gonna need no husband, won't need no wife
You'll pick your son, pick your daughter too
From the bottom of a long glass tube


Well you geriatric bastards win't be around to see it, will you
 
2014-01-01 11:50:23 AM

BigBooper: Now this is the smart way to make a doomsday prediction. Far enough out that you'll be dead, but not so far in the future that people don't care about it.


But the last 20 years proves that people don't care (enough to change their lives in any way)

"I'm not currently on fire, so why should I GAF?"
 
2014-01-01 11:51:08 AM

FirstNationalBastard: So, we won't even be around in the year 4545, when you ain't gonna need your teeth, won't need your eyes... You won't find a thing to chewwwwww... Nobody's gonna look at you?


I'm more interested in what happens in 2525

webspace.webring.com

/So bad, it was terrible.
 
2014-01-01 11:52:42 AM
farm4.static.flickr.com
 
2014-01-01 11:54:47 AM

Because People in power are Stupid: So my darling and I
Make love in the sand
To salute the last moment 
Ever on dry land
Our machine has done its work
Played its part well
Without a scratch on our bodies
And we bid it farewell


But still it's farewell
 
2014-01-01 11:58:35 AM
Fermi Paradox.  Could global warming be the answer?
 
2014-01-01 11:59:16 AM

LewDux: Because People in power are Stupid: So my darling and I
Make love in the sand
To salute the last moment 
Ever on dry land
Our machine has done its work
Played its part well
Without a scratch on our bodies
And we bid it farewell

But still it's farewell


I can hear that man he's full of cheer.
 
2014-01-01 12:03:49 PM

Reverend J: FirstNationalBastard: So, we won't even be around in the year 4545, when you ain't gonna need your teeth, won't need your eyes... You won't find a thing to chewwwwww... Nobody's gonna look at you?

I'm more interested in what happens in 2525



/So bad, it was terrible.


It's a party, and everybody's coming.
 
2014-01-01 12:05:10 PM
Is this like those predictions back in the late 80s that said Wisconsin would be ocean-front property by the year 2000?
 
2014-01-01 12:08:55 PM

Gosling: And the hell of it is the doomsday preppers won't have an answer for it. Most of them are prepping for Mad Max, not Waterworld.


That's because "Waterworld" can't happen. There simply isn't enough water.

The seas essentially quit rising about 5000-6000 years ago, with another meter or two to go over the next several millennia. With human additions to the equation that rise could happen in a millennium or less, possibly, but it's going to happen anyway.

~upload.wikimedia.org

Worst case scenario? 13-20 feet, per wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Current_sea_level_rise
 
2014-01-01 12:09:40 PM

BigBooper: Now this is the smart way to make a doomsday prediction. Far enough out that you'll be dead, but not so far in the future that people don't care about it.


"Well I predict that the world will end at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve."
"This year?"
"MmHmm."
"Well that's cutting it a little bit close, isn't it? I mean, just from a sales point of view, I mean your book is just coming out, you're not gonna see any paperback sales for at least a year. It'll be at least another year before you know whether you've got that mini-series or movie of the week kind of possibilities. I mean just Devil's Advocate Milty! I mean shouldn't you have said: Hey the worlds going to end in 1992! Or better yet 1994!"
"This is not just some money-making scheme! Alright! I have a strong psychic belief that the world will end on New Year's Eve."
"Well, for your sake, I hope you're right."

www.i-mockery.com
 
2014-01-01 12:11:25 PM
Damn, I'd need the oceans to rise 100 meters before I get oceanfront property on a lovely little inlet in a nice protected bay.
 
2014-01-01 12:15:28 PM
Even IF the sea levels rose 100 feet in the next 100 years, it certainly wouldn't wipe out humanity. Humans are survivors.

Bad headline is bad.
 
2014-01-01 12:17:03 PM

Stone Meadow: Gosling: And the hell of it is the doomsday preppers won't have an answer for it. Most of them are prepping for Mad Max, not Waterworld.

That's because "Waterworld" can't happen. There simply isn't enough water.

The seas essentially quit rising about 5000-6000 years ago, with another meter or two to go over the next several millennia. With human additions to the equation that rise could happen in a millennium or less, possibly, but it's going to happen anyway.

~[upload.wikimedia.org image 526x359]

Worst case scenario? 13-20 feet, per wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Current_sea_level_rise


...Which is still bad, but TFA's pic was acting like Minneapolis is going to be under 30+ feet of water.  Not gonna happen.

Here's the thing, climate change is a real and serious problem that we need to deal with as best as possible to mitigate the possible effects.  But lying about it doesn't help anything....we can't afford to lose credibility on this.
 
2014-01-01 12:18:30 PM

HMS_Blinkin: Stone Meadow: Gosling: And the hell of it is the doomsday preppers won't have an answer for it. Most of them are prepping for Mad Max, not Waterworld.

That's because "Waterworld" can't happen. There simply isn't enough water.

The seas essentially quit rising about 5000-6000 years ago, with another meter or two to go over the next several millennia. With human additions to the equation that rise could happen in a millennium or less, possibly, but it's going to happen anyway.

~[upload.wikimedia.org image 526x359]

Worst case scenario? 13-20 feet, per wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Current_sea_level_rise

...Which is still bad, but TFA's pic was acting like Minneapolis is going to be under 30+ feet of water.  Not gonna happen.

Here's the thing, climate change is a real and serious problem that we need to deal with as best as possible to mitigate the possible effects.  But lying about it doesn't help anything....we can't afford to lose credibility on this.


This. Lying about it and exaggerating it does more harm than good
 
2014-01-01 12:21:52 PM
What, is that when the first holodecks come online?
 
2014-01-01 12:33:35 PM
New year. Same bullsh*t stories on fark meant to invoke an emotional response where we devolve into is to, is not, is to, is not.... What a surprise.
 
2014-01-01 12:35:22 PM

machoprogrammer: This. Lying about it and exaggerating it does more harm than good



Ya, but that climate research ship got stuck in ice, so global warming isn't real.  Your argument is invalid.
 
2014-01-01 01:03:38 PM

indarwinsshadow: New year. Same bullsh*t stories on fark meant to invoke an emotional response where we devolve into is to, is not, is to, is not.... What a surprise.


Right? Because the first day of a new year should be completely different from the day before.
 
2014-01-01 01:04:19 PM
For some reason, I read the headline to mean we'd all be gay by then.
 
das
2014-01-01 01:23:47 PM
Damn. I shoulda' voted for Al Gore!!!!!
 
2014-01-01 01:26:25 PM
I've looked at clouds from both sides now.
 
2014-01-01 01:26:35 PM
From the documentaries I have watched and the articles I have read, warming is a snowball effect.  Thaw out the permafrost and then it starts releasing methane.  Then things get really bad and all the warming releases more stored CO2 and so on.
 
2014-01-01 01:44:12 PM

Virtuoso80: For some reason, I read the headline to mean we'd all be gay by then.


Well that or humanity develops the holo-deck, matrix, or some other form of reality much better than real life. Or we all get super realistic perfect robot mates. Whatever the cause, enough of us stop reproducing that everything falls apart.
 
2014-01-01 01:55:44 PM
I don't understand why only doom, defeat and despair can come from global warming. Could there be NO positive effects? Such as a longer growing season, less energy used in heating homes and a more moderate climate? If and when the glaciers melt, won't the land under them spring back up and mitigate the rising seas?
 
2014-01-01 02:13:33 PM
Hmmmmmmmmmm................looks like it's that time of year when scientists need to appeal for my grant money. Time to scare the masses sh*tless about global catastrophes again!
 
2014-01-01 02:17:17 PM

Lee451: I don't understand why only doom, defeat and despair can come from global warming. Could there be NO positive effects? Such as a longer growing season, less energy used in heating homes and a more moderate climate? If and when the glaciers melt, won't the land under them spring back up and mitigate the rising seas?


Short answer? Because good news doesn't get eyeballs on webpages, TV ads sold and research grants and social engineering programs funded. Okay, that's a bit cynical, but it's also true.

BTW, nearly all of the readily accessible glacier water is already in the ocean, so both its contribution to sea level rise as well as the prospects for land rebound have largely already played out. For large-scale melting of Greenland and the Antarctic West to happen (and raise global sea level by more than another 2-3 feet), a credible mechanism has to be identified, which doesn't currently exist. Even IPCC (the most aggressive "credible" sea level rise alarmists) don't predict more than another 2' of rise, and that's at the top end of their range for the foreseeable future.
 
2014-01-01 02:27:53 PM

Stone Meadow: Lee451: I don't understand why only doom, defeat and despair can come from global warming. Could there be NO positive effects? Such as a longer growing season, less energy used in heating homes and a more moderate climate? If and when the glaciers melt, won't the land under them spring back up and mitigate the rising seas?

Short answer? Because good news doesn't get eyeballs on webpages, TV ads sold and research grants and social engineering programs funded. Okay, that's a bit cynical, but it's also true.

BTW, nearly all of the readily accessible glacier water is already in the ocean, so both its contribution to sea level rise as well as the prospects for land rebound have largely already played out. For large-scale melting of Greenland and the Antarctic West to happen (and raise global sea level by more than another 2-3 feet), a credible mechanism has to be identified, which doesn't currently exist. Even IPCC (the most aggressive "credible" sea level rise alarmists) don't predict more than another 2' of rise, and that's at the top end of their range for the foreseeable future.


A voice of rational and reason? On FARK, where everyone is supposed to follow the crowd?

/I agree with you completely. If you frighten people they will demand to be saved, whether the fear is rational or not, immediate or 100 years down the road.
 
2014-01-01 02:28:14 PM
Good?
 
2014-01-01 02:39:24 PM

Lee451: I don't understand why only doom, defeat and despair can come from global warming. Could there be NO positive effects? Such as a longer growing season, less energy used in heating homes and a more moderate climate? If and when the glaciers melt, won't the land under them spring back up and mitigate the rising seas?


Nobody's going to panic and beg government on their knees to save them whatever the cost in money and liberty if the problem (assuming there actually is one) is seen as anything but apocalyptic.
 
2014-01-01 02:46:17 PM

Lee451: Stone Meadow: Lee451: I don't understand why only doom, defeat and despair can come from global warming. Could there be NO positive effects? Such as a longer growing season, less energy used in heating homes and a more moderate climate? If and when the glaciers melt, won't the land under them spring back up and mitigate the rising seas?

Short answer? Because good news doesn't get eyeballs on webpages, TV ads sold and research grants and social engineering programs funded. Okay, that's a bit cynical, but it's also true.

BTW, nearly all of the readily accessible glacier water is already in the ocean, so both its contribution to sea level rise as well as the prospects for land rebound have largely already played out. For large-scale melting of Greenland and the Antarctic West to happen (and raise global sea level by more than another 2-3 feet), a credible mechanism has to be identified, which doesn't currently exist. Even IPCC (the most aggressive "credible" sea level rise alarmists) don't predict more than another 2' of rise, and that's at the top end of their range for the foreseeable future.

A voice of rational and reason? On FARK, where everyone is supposed to follow the crowd?

/I agree with you completely. If you frighten people they will demand to be saved, whether the fear is rational or not, immediate or 100 years down the road.


Oops...sorry. I promise to do better in future! ;)
 
2014-01-01 03:01:24 PM

jjorsett: Lee451: I don't understand why only doom, defeat and despair can come from global warming. Could there be NO positive effects? Such as a longer growing season, less energy used in heating homes and a more moderate climate? If and when the glaciers melt, won't the land under them spring back up and mitigate the rising seas?

Nobody's going to panic and beg government on their knees to save them whatever the cost in money and liberty if the problem (assuming there actually is one) is seen as anything but apocalyptic.


You underestimate how many people actually crave the apocalypse. It explains a great deal of foreign policy.
 
2014-01-01 03:08:31 PM

Lee451: I don't understand why only doom, defeat and despair can come from global warming. Could there be NO positive effects? Such as a longer growing season, less energy used in heating homes and a more moderate climate? If and when the glaciers melt, won't the land under them spring back up and mitigate the rising seas?


Depends where you live. My country, Norway, is unlikely to be affected by most of the negative effects of global warming. We'll have a warmer and more fertile climate. We already have trees growing far higher up than they did before. On the other hand, our cold winters protect us from malaria, and we might find ourselves inundated by people who can no longer survive in their countries of origin.
 
2014-01-01 04:00:37 PM
Sea level rises?

*taps microphone*

WALK UPHILL YOU FARKING IDIOTS!!!

There, global warming dealt with
 
2014-01-01 04:17:52 PM
Pff, I'll be dead in about 20 years anyway.

Not my problem.
 
2014-01-01 04:20:14 PM

INeedAName: indarwinsshadow: New year. Same bullsh*t stories on fark meant to invoke an emotional response where we devolve into is to, is not, is to, is not.... What a surprise.

Right? Because the first day of a new year should be completely different from the day before.


No, no. Fark should continue to recycle the same story day, after day, week after week, year after year.

......idiot.
 
2014-01-01 04:27:00 PM

JRoo: Pff, I'll be dead in about 20 years anyway.

Not my problem.


Dad of the Year?

I am slightly shocked to realize that my son could, in actuarial terms, live to see 2100. He'd be old, but not over 100 old.

Me, less likely, particularly after last night.
 
2014-01-01 04:39:55 PM
I predict that the universe will collapse and vanish on July 16th, 1974.

Oh, at 6:37pm....
 
2014-01-01 05:17:41 PM
www.superman1978.com

Still saving his pennies.
 
2014-01-01 06:21:52 PM
The Guardian = Daily Mail for champagne socialists.
 
2014-01-01 06:22:41 PM
so there will be more warming, but LESS CLOUDS? REALLY?? LOL

wait, couldnt we fix this problem with more clouds?
and get rid of some of your nuclear stock pile ???
 
2014-01-01 06:33:07 PM

Lee451: I don't understand why only doom, defeat and despair can come from global warming. Could there be NO positive effects? Such as a longer growing season, less energy used in heating homes and a more moderate climate? If and when the glaciers melt, won't the land under them spring back up and mitigate the rising seas?


Habitats will move with the changing climate, and people will have to move as well. The most pressing issue will be year round supplies of fresh water, but that's not a show stopper. I don't believe WE will cause a run away green house effect and make the Earth look like Venus. That's pure fear mongering bullshiat.
 
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