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(Deadspin) Weeners What horrible things did we do to our penises last year?   (deadspin.com ) divider line 16
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11304 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jan 2014 at 7:50 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2014-01-01 08:04:58 AM  
5 votes:
Sticking it in crazy surprisingly absent.
2014-01-01 10:02:29 AM  
3 votes:
PUT HIS WEDDING RING ON HIS PENIS, NOW CAN'T GET IT OFF

That guy must be hung like a cocktail frank if he can even get it on.

/Bang a tiny gong
2014-01-01 04:30:51 AM  
3 votes:
Put a little cowboy hat, and a mask on it, and took it to see "The Lone Ranger".
2014-01-01 06:49:26 AM  
2 votes:

Paris1127: SHUT A DVD CASE ON PENIS

Dafuq?

PLACED AN ELECTRIC LINT REMOVER TO PENIS AND SUSTAINED A CUT

Why?


Because when you stick your dick in the dryer's lint trap, sometimes your balls get all linty and you need to give them a thorough de-linting.
2014-01-01 04:52:06 AM  
2 votes:
Put a tiny sombrero on it & took a picture.

Oh, wait...that was someone in TFD. :-D
2014-01-01 01:37:24 PM  
1 vote:

Gleeman: pyrotek85: cardex: Fear the Clam: PUT HIS WEDDING RING ON HIS PENIS, NOW CAN'T GET IT OFF

That guy must be hung like a cocktail frank if he can even get it on.

/Bang a tiny gong

I was thinking the same thing. A size 14 ring has about .9 diameter and the average condom is between 1.8 and 2.0 inches

I see I wasn't the only one thinking that lol, it would take some work to actually get it onto the shaft.

Maybe he's got the hands of an NBA player?


Try NFL player.

CSB, when in college, I was taking the required Intro to Marketing class, and for some reason, we had some kind of "Show and Tell" class, for those students who were, also, working.  One student worked for the company that was making the rings for the Super Bowl winners, maybe Jostens, and he brought one of the rings to class.  I believe this was 1977, and Oakland had won the previous Super Bowl.  IIRC, he said it was Otis Sistrunk's (sp) ring.  The guy allowed the ring to be passed around the class. Now, I've got large hands and always have to find x-large gloves, otherwise I won't get the gloves on.  When the ring got to me, I was stunned at it's farking size.  I put the ring on my thumb and it just flopped around.  I think, if I could have managed it, there would have been enough room to fit over my thumb and little finger.  I'm not talking about the tips of my thumb and little finger, I mean, if I could have gotten them completely together, it would have gone all the way down.  I thought the ring was over the top, at the time, but it looks sedate compared to the one's they hand out now.   That was the kind of ring that someone might get stuck on their wang.  You know, someone else, of course, not on my cucumber.
2014-01-01 11:13:31 AM  
1 vote:
*wince*

I am *so* NGTRTFA.
2014-01-01 11:09:34 AM  
1 vote:
PENILE FRENULUM TEAR
PENILE FRENULUM TEAR
PENILE FRENULUM TEAR

So glad I'm circumcised
2014-01-01 09:51:46 AM  
1 vote:
I'm reading this thread naked on a wooden slat chair and getting a kick.

Yes, I do like to live dangerously
2014-01-01 09:36:17 AM  
1 vote:
PUT HIS WEDDING RING ON HIS PENIS, NOW CAN'T GET IT OFF

Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts...
2014-01-01 09:07:47 AM  
1 vote:

That Not So Fresh Feeling: Sticking it in the mashed potatoes strangely absent.


It wasn't that kind of party.
2014-01-01 09:03:27 AM  
1 vote:
"FELL IN SHOWER DIRECTLY ONTO ERECT PENIS. HEARD CRACK TO SITE."

Ok I cringed when I read this one.
2014-01-01 08:35:59 AM  
1 vote:
Fracture to the penis?  How?

/cringing, but still, how?
2014-01-01 08:28:40 AM  
1 vote:
Very very little... wait, that didn't come out right. I meant... that I didn't...

Ah f*ck you guys.
2014-01-01 05:47:47 AM  
1 vote:

Notabunny: fta SHOT WITH BB GUN BY BRO TO THE GENITAL

Apparently you don't have to be an english major to get a job at the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission.


Bros before hos, unless your bro shoots you in the dick with a BB gun.
2014-01-01 03:43:16 AM  
1 vote:
Zapped it with a time machine I bought off the internet.
 
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