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(The Braiser)   What do you get when you pay $795 per couple for VIP table at Guy Fieri's rockin' all-American New Year's Eve dinner party in his Times Square joint? One thing you won't get: Guy Fieri   (thebraiser.com) divider line 88
    More: Amusing, Guy Fieri, New Year's Eve, VIP, Times Square, hors d'oeuvres, dipping sauce, BBQ Sauce  
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5736 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 31 Dec 2013 at 4:47 PM (27 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-31 03:30:49 PM
I'm guessing an ass kicking for having anything to do with that restaurant in the first place isn't on the list, even if it was free
 
2013-12-31 03:32:23 PM
If people are willing to pay that much, then that's on them.
 
2013-12-31 03:44:47 PM
I would consider paying a decent amount to ensure that Guy Fieri doesn't come anywhere near me on New Year's Eve.

The odds are low, but would you want to take that chance?
 
2013-12-31 03:46:50 PM
media.tumblr.com
 
2013-12-31 03:59:52 PM
I think the take away here is that the restaurant doesn't even have a view of the ball drop. So Youre paying 800 bucks for...
 
2013-12-31 04:02:53 PM
I'd think that Guy NOT being there would be a selling point....
 
2013-12-31 04:12:25 PM
Just $800 for some wings and a salad bar?

Where do I sign?
 
2013-12-31 04:15:24 PM
If they have the Guy's American Kitchen & Bar menu, sign me up!

guysamericankitchenandbar.com
 
2013-12-31 04:34:49 PM

scottydoesntknow: If they have the Guy's American Kitchen & Bar menu, sign me up!

[guysamericankitchenandbar.com image 850x1100]


My favorite part of that is "Add a Cinnabon, and two more Cinnabons".
 
2013-12-31 04:46:33 PM
I ... uh ... I actually like Guy Fieri.
 
2013-12-31 04:50:04 PM

HawgWild: I ... uh ... I actually like Guy Fieri.


The dude is supposed to be a total asshole in real life. One of those guys who was discovered and immediately let all the fame go to his head.

One of those people who not only thinks his shiat doesn't stink, but he could slather it in butter-Bearnaise sauce and serve it to you for $24.95
 
2013-12-31 04:57:04 PM
Meh.  If I was going to want to be around a food celebrity at New Year's it'd be Anthony Bourdain anyway.
 
2013-12-31 05:03:12 PM
People eating his food and then being forced to wait hours for a subway train. I hope the Manhattan Sewer Alligators are ready.
 
2013-12-31 05:04:11 PM

scottydoesntknow: HawgWild: I ... uh ... I actually like Guy Fieri.

The dude is supposed to be a total asshole in real life. One of those guys who was discovered and immediately let all the fame go to his head.

One of those people who not only thinks his shiat doesn't stink, but he could slather it in butter-Bearnaise sauce and serve it to you for $24.95


One does not need to reach very far to come to the conclusion that a guy who bleaches his hair for a living is an asshole.
 
2013-12-31 05:04:50 PM
I haven't caught up on Karl Welzein's twitterfeed in a while. I'm sure he'll address this.
 
2013-12-31 05:07:52 PM
I'm sure that's just a typo.  Should be $7.95.  A little more than I would pay to be there but not a bad deal.
 
2013-12-31 05:10:15 PM

doyner: Meh.  If I was going to want to be around a food celebrity at New Year's it'd be Anthony Bourdain anyway.


I woudl actually buy him a drink, guy on the other hand? Wouldn't extend my hand to him.
 
2013-12-31 05:12:21 PM
Sounds like they have their hands on the FM dial and are about to rock the classic hits
 
2013-12-31 05:13:03 PM
I didn't think anything could top the Times Square Applebee's in terms of pure awfulness, but there you have it.

And I bet the open bar probably doesn't have any top shelf liquor anyway.
 
2013-12-31 05:24:32 PM
What do you get when you pay $795 per couple for VIP table at Guy Fieri's rockin' all-American New Year's Eve dinner party in his Times Square joint? One thing you won't get:

Edible food?
 
2013-12-31 05:26:56 PM
At least you'll have a place to piss.
 
2013-12-31 05:34:07 PM
Joke's on them. For less than half that price, I'll be next door at Applebee's. I'm pretty sure Guy will be there.
 
2013-12-31 05:35:14 PM
Guy Fieri: Intercontinental Ballistic Doucherocket
 
2013-12-31 05:40:49 PM
Out of sheer boredom I sat through a few "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives" and I noticed that, for a show claiming to celebrate such venerable institutions, there certainly are a lot of visits to places in recently-built strip malls with taglines like "Beefgargler's has served Skeeter Holler's finest nineteen-layer Horse Rectum Nachos since 2008."
 
2013-12-31 05:43:04 PM

rynthetyn: I didn't think anything could top the Times Square Applebee's in terms of pure awfulness, but there you have it.

And I bet the open bar probably doesn't have any top shelf liquor anyway.


The bottles are probably top shelf.. What they started filling them back up with is another question.
 
2013-12-31 05:45:21 PM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Out of sheer boredom I sat through a few "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives" and I noticed that, for a show claiming to celebrate such venerable institutions, there certainly are a lot of visits to places in recently-built strip malls with taglines like "Beefgargler's has served Skeeter Holler's finest nineteen-layer Horse Rectum Nachos since 2008."


A restaurant does not need a 25 year tradition to be good.  If you make it past the 2nd year, you've already beaten the odds to succeed, or at the very least, not lose money.
 
2013-12-31 05:48:28 PM

Cagey B: I would consider paying a decent amount to ensure that Guy Fieri doesn't come anywhere near me on New Year's Eve.

The odds are low, but would you want to take that chance?




Cagey B. I have this rock that keeps Guy Fieri away. Since I've had it, I've never seen him on my street....
 
2013-12-31 05:49:37 PM

HawgWild: I ... uh ... I actually like Guy Fieri.


Guy Fieri is the equivalent on Nickleback to hate on a guy for the sake of hating without any discourse whatsoever.

If you dislike Fieri, I never understood the obsession of harping on it.  There are plenty of personalities on Food Network I don't "get", but I don't harp on it or go apeshiat every time she appears.

As for the people who are saying Fieri is an asshole, well, I've heard that Alton Brown is one too but ooooh, we better not go there, eh?

(And please don't bring up the David Page interview from the wankrag in Minnesota.  That guy was a producer who got burned because he was an ass and Food Network cut him loose...  Fieri's sister was gay, and so is his boss, and he's a restauranteur in Northern California.  I KIND OF DOUBT HE HAS ISSUES WITH GAY PEOPLE)
 
2013-12-31 05:49:55 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Guy Fieri: Intercontinental Ballistic Doucherocket


IBD - Inflammatory Bowel Disease.
 
2013-12-31 05:50:12 PM
Disclosure: I like Fieri as a host and personality, but I don't dig his cooking.
 
2013-12-31 05:55:45 PM
laughingsquid.com

But you do get Mimi from Drew Carey
 
2013-12-31 05:56:31 PM

styckx: One does not need to reach very far to come to the conclusion that a guy who bleaches his hair for a living is an asshole.


i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-12-31 06:04:38 PM

MattyFridays: Disclosure: I like Fieri as a host and personality, but I don't dig his cooking.


Exactly. You can tell he enjoys the places he visits on Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. Some more obviously than others, but he seems like a real dude, man.

/not too sure about his cooking either
//never tried it
 
2013-12-31 06:21:56 PM

MattyFridays: HawgWild: I ... uh ... I actually like Guy Fieri.

Guy Fieri is the equivalent on Nickleback to hate on a guy for the sake of hating without any discourse whatsoever.

If you dislike Fieri, I never understood the obsession of harping on it.  There are plenty of personalities on Food Network I don't "get", but I don't harp on it or go apeshiat every time she appears.

As for the people who are saying Fieri is an asshole, well, I've heard that Alton Brown is one too but ooooh, we better not go there, eh?

(And please don't bring up the David Page interview from the wankrag in Minnesota.  That guy was a producer who got burned because he was an ass and Food Network cut him loose...  Fieri's sister was gay, and so is his boss, and he's a restauranteur in Northern California.  I KIND OF DOUBT HE HAS ISSUES WITH GAY PEOPLE)


I read another interview with Fieri (maybe Maxim?). It painted him as a cool guy. IIRC, the author even went into it thinking Guy was a huge douchebag, but had a great night. Fieri either paid him off, or showed him a good time. Guy sounded cool to me.
 
2013-12-31 06:23:11 PM

This is stolen from a recent Cracked photoshop contest.


i74.photobucket.com
 
2013-12-31 06:30:34 PM
"Unlimited open bar from 8 PM to 1 AM (...okay, that is not so bad, if you just happen to drink the restaurant's entire stash of Johnnie Walker Blue.) "

Still, at less than $200 a bottle, you'd have to drink three bottles just to come close to the worth of the liquor in the package.  Still, roughly $200 bucks for what is essentially bar food, unlimited booze, and a D.J., would be okay as a couple's package.  Adding another $600 bucks to that for no reason is absurd.
 
2013-12-31 06:41:01 PM

stewbert: MattyFridays: HawgWild: I ... uh ... I actually like Guy Fieri.

Guy Fieri is the equivalent on Nickleback to hate on a guy for the sake of hating without any discourse whatsoever.

If you dislike Fieri, I never understood the obsession of harping on it.  There are plenty of personalities on Food Network I don't "get", but I don't harp on it or go apeshiat every time she appears.

As for the people who are saying Fieri is an asshole, well, I've heard that Alton Brown is one too but ooooh, we better not go there, eh?

(And please don't bring up the David Page interview from the wankrag in Minnesota.  That guy was a producer who got burned because he was an ass and Food Network cut him loose...  Fieri's sister was gay, and so is his boss, and he's a restauranteur in Northern California.  I KIND OF DOUBT HE HAS ISSUES WITH GAY PEOPLE)

I read another interview with Fieri (maybe Maxim?). It painted him as a cool guy. IIRC, the author even went into it thinking Guy was a huge douchebag, but had a great night. Fieri either paid him off, or showed him a good time. Guy sounded cool to me.


I dislike Guy's whole schtick, and his cooking show is a load of horse shiat, but you know why I have to give the guy a lot of credit?

Diners, Drive-ins and Dives.

Him going out and showing middle America that restaurants don't have to be a TG McShoni's Garden to be good is a great thing. These places get free publicity, which is important for small, independent restaurants running on a thin margin. I have actually been to places that have been featured on the show, and they have all been really good places.
 
2013-12-31 06:54:36 PM

wookiemonster: "Unlimited open bar from 8 PM to 1 AM (...okay, that is not so bad, if you just happen to drink the restaurant's entire stash of Johnnie Walker Blue.) "

Still, at less than $200 a bottle, you'd have to drink three bottles just to come close to the worth of the liquor in the package.  Still, roughly $200 bucks for what is essentially bar food, unlimited booze, and a D.J., would be okay as a couple's package.  Adding another $600 bucks to that for no reason is absurd.




Johnny Walker Blue is blended scotch. Now, I, not such a snob that I'd turn down a blend, but I sure as shiat wouldn't pay $200 for a bottle.

I
 
2013-12-31 07:02:19 PM
I'll just leave this here, and I don't care if it's been posted a billion times and 75 years ago...it's farking hilarious to me dammit!
 
2013-12-31 07:09:00 PM

what_now: wookiemonster: "Unlimited open bar from 8 PM to 1 AM (...okay, that is not so bad, if you just happen to drink the restaurant's entire stash of Johnnie Walker Blue.) "

Still, at less than $200 a bottle, you'd have to drink three bottles just to come close to the worth of the liquor in the package.  Still, roughly $200 bucks for what is essentially bar food, unlimited booze, and a D.J., would be okay as a couple's package.  Adding another $600 bucks to that for no reason is absurd.

Johnny Walker Blue is blended scotch. Now, I, not such a snob that I'd turn down a blend, but I sure as shiat wouldn't pay $200 for a bottle.

I


I like the taste of the much cheaper Johnny Walker Green better than the Blue. Of course, with Laphroaig Cask strength being only $60 a bottle, it makes both of the blended scotches moot in my mind.
 
2013-12-31 07:12:21 PM

stewbert: Joke's on them. For less than half that price, I'll be next door at Applebee's. I'm pretty sure Guy will be there.


According to CNN this morning, Applebees' Times Square will set you back $375 a head.

FOR A BUFFET.


/not if I was starving to death and it was the last food on earth
 
2013-12-31 07:17:59 PM
I'd rather watch Zimmern blow an emu and gargle its jizz than be anywhere near Times Square and or Guy Ferry and his Ho Jos knock off on NYE.
 
2013-12-31 07:28:27 PM

read the NY Times review of his Times Square restaurant for a good chuckle at guy's expense


wait,here it is

 
2013-12-31 07:36:51 PM
Which again shows that just because you're rich, doesn't mean you're smart.
 
2013-12-31 07:40:44 PM
The bottle chart really confuses me:

www.bigmeanpunk.com
 
2013-12-31 07:49:55 PM
Guy Fieri looks more like a lesbian than any lesbian I know.
 
2013-12-31 07:58:43 PM
The jealousy and hipsterism in this thread is amusing. Let me guess you all are "foodies".
 
2013-12-31 08:10:52 PM

LandStander: I haven't caught up on Karl Welzein's twitterfeed in a while. I'm sure he'll address this.


He finally got the 'Maro!
 
2013-12-31 08:11:24 PM

stewbert: Joke's on them. For less than half that price, I'll be next door at Applebee's. I'm pretty sure Guy will be there.


Actually, isn't it about the same price? Fieri's $795/couple, Applebee's is $375/PERSON
 
2013-12-31 08:18:55 PM
One year a few days after Christmas I visited Times Square. So crowded it was enough to make me decide never to visit NYC during the Holidays again. So packed that it makes the visit not worth it. Everyone is there. At the Empire State Building. Times Square. Macy's. 30 Rock. I felt like I was being swarmed by zombies it was so full of bodies. The only way I would visit New York during the Holidays is if I was driven around by limo and only ate in VIP sections escorted by body guards. Forget some $795 dinner food scam.
 
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