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(Washington Post)   What would America look like if every secessionist movement had succeeded? This guy made a map   ( washingtonpost.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Southern Oregon AVA  
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10514 clicks; posted to Politics » on 31 Dec 2013 at 3:26 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-31 12:44:13 PM  
Interesting.
 
2013-12-31 01:09:00 PM  
That's pretty cool.
 
2013-12-31 01:17:52 PM  
Weren't there a bunch of religious folks who wanted to make South Carolina seced and become a Dominionist state?
 
2013-12-31 01:19:29 PM  
The Florida panhandle as two separate states. Lord have mercy.
 
2013-12-31 01:27:04 PM  
What's up with Baja California, Sonora, and Chihuahua?  How can you claim extraterritorial states on a map based on successionist plans?  If it was some early plan to annex these parts of Mexico, then you might as well draw the northern boundary across BC at 54-40 instead of the 49th parallel as well.
 
2013-12-31 02:47:15 PM  
Great- now we can start gerrymandering the Senate.
 
2013-12-31 03:31:32 PM  
Farked
 
2013-12-31 03:32:02 PM  
Reagan?!  holy shiat.
 
2013-12-31 03:34:58 PM  
Do the stuff west of the mississippi and you'll balance the Senate and House.
 
2013-12-31 03:39:37 PM  
Interesting... so there were plans to make St. Louis its own state, but nobody ever thought to combine the two Kansas Cities?
 
2013-12-31 03:41:26 PM  
Where's North Colorado? Fail.
 
2013-12-31 03:44:28 PM  
I feel like the state of Franklin should be bigger.
 
2013-12-31 03:45:36 PM  
What about the Conch Republic?
 
2013-12-31 03:47:03 PM  
Cascadia? Carved out of the flattest parts of Washington and Oregon? Excluding areas of those states most likely to embrace ecology and diversity?
 
2013-12-31 03:48:10 PM  

unyon: What's up with Baja California, Sonora, and Chihuahua?  How can you claim extraterritorial states on a map based on successionist plans?  If it was some early plan to annex these parts of Mexico, then you might as well draw the northern boundary across BC at 54-40 instead of the 49th parallel as well.


After the Mexican war there was some discussion of including this area in the cession.  They would have given us whatever we asked for (unlike Britain) so I guess it would be considered a reasonable stretch.  I'd like to see a reference for this map though.
 
2013-12-31 03:49:21 PM  

Ow! That was my feelings!: Where's North Colorado? Fail.


Article reading comprehension fail.

" (It covers secession movements through the end of 2011.) "
 
2013-12-31 03:50:38 PM  

Cagey B: The Florida panhandle as two separate states. Lord have mercy.


We're gonna need more Fark tags.
 
2013-12-31 03:52:05 PM  
Yooper land exists!
 
2013-12-31 03:52:18 PM  

Soup4Bonnie: Reagan?!  holy shiat.


img.fark.net
 
2013-12-31 03:53:55 PM  

the_innkeeper: Ow! That was my feelings!: Where's North Colorado? Fail.

Article reading comprehension fail.

" (It covers secession movements through the end of 2011.) "


Aye, didn't read far enough. They mentioned it right away, I glanced at the map, made a comment, my fail.
 
2013-12-31 03:53:57 PM  
Some of those small rural 'states' couldn't have more than a few thousand people in them.
 
2013-12-31 03:54:11 PM  
Heh.  And Iowa is just "Iowa."  Seems pretty appropriate.
 
2013-12-31 03:56:11 PM  
well they do call this area the west florida parishes so it wouldn't be that different.
 
2013-12-31 03:57:13 PM  
Given current voting patterns and recent results, it would be interesting to see how this map would affect the balance of the Senate (with 248 senators, of course).  I suspect it would be GOP-controlled, since many of these secessionist movements amount to conservative rural areas decrying perceived ignorance from city-dominated state politics.
 
2013-12-31 04:03:28 PM  
The part I live in North Georgia, is already way different from South Georgia.  They resent us for getting all the tax funding, so it makes sense.  But then they would have to negotiate for our water that we are going to steal from Tennessee by annexing a few of their southern river rich counties.
 
2013-12-31 04:06:06 PM  

Target Builder: Some of those small rural 'states' couldn't have more than a few thousand people in them.


Well yeah... You have to be pretty damn fringey to be a part of a secessionist movement.

I say we let the few kooky counties that want to secede to do so... Then invade and take them back by force - they won't be Americans anymore and I bet some of those places have oil. Let them fight the US military with their small arms and bootstraps. There aren't a lot of those kooks, but I'm sure we'd be better off with a few less.
 
2013-12-31 04:06:26 PM  
So... what exactly would Potomac have seceded from?
 
2013-12-31 04:09:32 PM  
There's so many good ones there.  Rhode Island would split in two! But my favorite is how Washington disappears from the West coast only to reappear as what was eastern Ohio.
 
2013-12-31 04:09:41 PM  
Under the coming Reptilian Socialist Republic, the continental US will be divided into seven oblasts, each made up of four quartered cantons. The oblast will be presided over by a Governor General chosen from the Party Assembly. Each canton will supply two Assemblers from local party ranks.

Hawaii shall be its own oblast, but with only two cantons. The same for Alaska and Puerto Rico. All other outlying islands (Guam, Samoa, USVI, etc.) shall be a single oblast with each island/archipelago being its own canton.

The oblasts are: Northeast, Southeast, Southwest, Great Lakes, Midwest, Pacific West, and Mountain West.
 
2013-12-31 04:10:13 PM  

StopLurkListen: So... what exactly would Potomac have seceded from?


It looks like they wanted DC to get a name change along with statehood.
 
2013-12-31 04:11:04 PM  
Oh god no! I don't want to become a northern Masshole!
 
2013-12-31 04:16:39 PM  
According to this map, the only states to never dabble in secessionism are Iowa, Connecticut, and Hawaii.
 
2013-12-31 04:19:41 PM  
I really think if the south had won that there would've been just another war a few years later. No way was the north going to just sit back and let it go.

I also think if the south had won it would've only encouraged the "my way or highway" types to be even more stubborn, and governing the south would've become nearly impossible. Balkanization galore.
 
2013-12-31 04:21:33 PM  

Flab: Weren't there a bunch of religious folks who wanted to make South Carolina seced and become a Dominionist state?


Yeah, that was Christian Exodus. They planned to move thousands of people to a single small city (Anderson, SC), get elected to local public office, with the eventual goal of taking over all state offices in order to secede from the USA to form a Christian-based country.

They got like 20 people to move to SC before the project failed.
 
2013-12-31 04:24:46 PM  

Arkanaut: Interesting... so there were plans to make St. Louis its own state, but nobody ever thought to combine the two Kansas Cities?


What?  And bring down property values in Kansas City Missouri?

\Fun town, well kept secret.  Keep calling it the "fly-over country".  The last thing they need is pretentious hipsters deciding it is obscure and cool.

\\Crap.  Shouldn't have said anything.
 
2013-12-31 04:25:04 PM  
And Indiana just wants to be left alone.

Yay apathy!
 
2013-12-31 04:27:16 PM  

The Name: Heh.  And Iowa is just "Iowa."  Seems pretty appropriate.


'cept the northwest is far more akin to sioux falls jesusland and the southern two tiers of Iowa counties should be given to Missouri to improve both states
 
2013-12-31 04:27:24 PM  

The Name: Heh.  And Iowa is just "Iowa."  Seems pretty appropriate.


We're pretty much perfect as-is, so ... *shrug*

/Although, I wouldn't mind cutting off the NW part of the state ...
//And parts of the south of the state ...
 
2013-12-31 04:29:00 PM  

Captain Dan: According to this map, the only states to never dabble in secessionism are Iowa, Connecticut, and Hawaii.


Hawaii more than dabbles, but it wouldn't partition the state, unless the various ethnic Hawaiian families duke it out after gaining independence.

/Good luck with that.  In five years, they wouldn't be speaking English or Hawaiian; wagers on Mandarin, Japanese, or Korean?
 
2013-12-31 04:30:50 PM  
wait. I don't want to be in missouri. or, even worse, nebraska. keep iowa for iowans!
 
2013-12-31 04:42:18 PM  

Captain Dan: According to this map, the only states to never dabble in secessionism are Iowa, Connecticut, and Hawaii.


Well the map has New Connecticut so they're apparently not secessionist but imperialist.
 
2013-12-31 04:43:41 PM  
Yeah, because this country doesn't have enough trouble voting already.
 
2013-12-31 04:43:55 PM  
OK, let's do that
 
2013-12-31 04:49:20 PM  

Bermuda59: What about the Conch Republic?


Definitely one of the more amusing secessionist movements...
 
2013-12-31 04:53:06 PM  

Obama's Reptiloid Master: Under the coming Reptilian Socialist Republic, the continental US will be divided into seven oblasts, each made up of four quartered cantons. The oblast will be presided over by a Governor General chosen from the Party Assembly. Each canton will supply two Assemblers from local party ranks.

Hawaii shall be its own oblast, but with only two cantons. The same for Alaska and Puerto Rico. All other outlying islands (Guam, Samoa, USVI, etc.) shall be a single oblast with each island/archipelago being its own canton.

The oblasts are: Northeast, Southeast, Southwest, Great Lakes, Midwest, Pacific West, and Mountain West.


You know, maybe it's just the pint of apple pie moonshine that I've already imbibed, but your tyrannical post-human oligarchy sounds simultaneously saner, more comprehensible and more fair than what we've currently got.  Need an overseer?  I have my own weapons, an evil-looking grimace and I already look like a stereotypical movie Mafia heavy, so I think I have that going for me...
 
2013-12-31 04:56:47 PM  
Interesting map, and not to harp on details too much here ... but I think he forgot the biggie:

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-12-31 04:59:14 PM  

Smirky the Wonder Chimp: Obama's Reptiloid Master: Under the coming Reptilian Socialist Republic, the continental US will be divided into seven oblasts, each made up of four quartered cantons. The oblast will be presided over by a Governor General chosen from the Party Assembly. Each canton will supply two Assemblers from local party ranks.

Hawaii shall be its own oblast, but with only two cantons. The same for Alaska and Puerto Rico. All other outlying islands (Guam, Samoa, USVI, etc.) shall be a single oblast with each island/archipelago being its own canton.

The oblasts are: Northeast, Southeast, Southwest, Great Lakes, Midwest, Pacific West, and Mountain West.

You know, maybe it's just the pint of apple pie moonshine that I've already imbibed, but your tyrannical post-human oligarchy sounds simultaneously saner, more comprehensible and more fair than what we've currently got.  Need an overseer?  I have my own weapons, an evil-looking grimace and I already look like a stereotypical movie Mafia heavy, so I think I have that going for me...


We are always in need of good goons. Here's your Reeducation Stick. Use it without restraint or discretion on the enemies of Party Unity.
 
2013-12-31 05:10:37 PM  
'Nataqua'? Who the hell came up with  that name?

/though Northern Nevada being its own state does make some amount of sense
//Just...what the hell kind of name is  that?
 
2013-12-31 05:11:18 PM  
Proud to be from Baja Arizona and the State of Superior.
 
2013-12-31 05:47:59 PM  
Map fails without Conch Republic!
 
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