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(MSNBC)   Apparently, if you don't like Valentines Day, you are a loser. Oh wait, it's just girls with self-confidence problems whining   (women.msn.com) divider line 258
    More: Stupid  
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18436 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jan 2004 at 7:18 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



258 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2004-01-26 09:03:30 PM  
I knew the cost of my ring. Even though I told him not to, my ex bought me a diamond ring because everyone harassed him about my not having one. It was pretty if you like those sort of things.

I wore it when we visited his folks, other than that, it stayed in a drawer for most of 10 years. I hated the ownership it implied, but I bought him a 2000 ring because I wanted him to have one of equal value so I felt less like a possession, more like a partner.

He never bought me flowers or chocolate, but he gave me gift certificates to my favourite culinary shop, the masseuse, and lingerie store, which I enjoyed much more. He would detail my car and buy tools I needed for work.

We didn't get each other gifts for "special" occasions like anniversaries, only when the moment hit us. We gave to charity for Christmas the gifts we would have given each other.

Its not what media tells us is romantic, but it worked, and well, for ten years. I still love him, he will always be my best friend.
 
2004-01-26 09:04:10 PM  
She's griping about the size of her engagement ring? I've been married forever and my husband hasn't bought me a wedding band yet.Don't want one either.Now if he'd buy me what Blueintheballs got his ex-gf, then I'd be happy.
 
JPN
2004-01-26 09:07:56 PM  
hey blankman,

only a sucker like yourself would get burned like that.

keep tryin ;)
 
2004-01-26 09:09:13 PM  
Wow, I don't know what all the fuss is about for Valentines day. I don't like it much, and I don't see why a holiday is necessary for things that should be done fairly regularly. Not everyday, maybe not everyweek, but couple times a month or whatever. Do people really need a set holiday to tell them that they need to pay attention to their significant other? If they do thats really sad. I'm not too big into the whole wedding ring thing either, mostly cause i'm not a jewelry kinda guy, but if my lady wants a nice respectable ring she'll get it, but i really like the engagement dog thing thats priceless! But what do you do when the dog, well isn't around anymore? Get a divorce? heh I'd probably get another dog. Oh and the 3 months salary thing... HAH! Thats ridiculous, if anyone wants to get engaged to me within the next few years they'll be getting a Life Saver, damn school keeps takin all my money.
 
2004-01-26 09:11:05 PM  
cheshirecatsmileyface
"but anyway, girls who biatch about the size of the ring can kiss my ass. although for a lot of girls: expensive ring to females is what a nice-ass car is to guys."

Yeah...But men pay for their own nice-ass cars.

Tell you what...I'll even give a little, (against my better judgment) and say that if a woman spends 3 or 4 months salary (her pay must be in the same ballpark as mine for this to work) on things to make my car better just so that my friends will be impressed. Then I will spend the same percentage of my salary to make her finger look better.

Even Steven...Or...Even Stephanie.

/thinking of what to do with five figures of car parts
 
2004-01-26 09:12:40 PM  
And then one time I got my ex an mp3 player for some occasion. And what'd she get me? a hat. I don't wear hats. And she had the nerve to say I didn't put any thought into my gift.
I shoulda asked for the mp3 player back...
 
2004-01-26 09:12:46 PM  
My girlfriend just told me that her performance on Steak and BJ day depended on my performance on valentines day.

I'll be at the chocolate and frilly lace store.
 
2004-01-26 09:13:33 PM  
The article does seem most one-sided. I don't care much for the chocolate or pink teddy bears, but its nice if you do have an SO to be able to spend that day with them, even if you don't do anything particulary grand.
 
2004-01-26 09:17:13 PM  
I don't recommend you get married while in school. Just wait until you are done. :)
 
2004-01-26 09:21:50 PM  
Pffft. Valentines day. You know what would get me hot? Pick up your damn socks, clean up after you shave in the morning and maybe get some friggin take out on the way home so that I dont have dishes to do. That makes ME weak in the KNEES!
Whooo! Blow Job DAY!!!!
 
2004-01-26 09:23:19 PM  
Oh yeah, do the laundry and its BLOW JOB WEEK!
 
2004-01-26 09:26:53 PM  
I can't believe I actually got a link posted!
 
2004-01-26 09:28:53 PM  
Ok while I agree this woman is a greedy whiny biatch car_go_fast makes a good point about the ring. Not that guys should have to buy a giant diamond or anything, but how much does the normal farker spend a month "out with the boys"? Would you spend less on an engagement ring?
 
2004-01-26 09:29:56 PM  
Wow what a couple of whiny biatches.

THE RING doesn't cost as much as his monthly going out with the boys fund? NO shiat biatch. With an attitude like that, it's lucky he can even stand to be around your shallow ass!
 
2004-01-26 09:30:18 PM  
On my last birthday, he asked, "What do you want to do?" as though it were a lot of trouble!

Man, what a jerk!


Not to defend this chick at all but I had an ex ask me that once. If you could have heard his tone of voice....you'd know why he's an ex.

personally I'm not a v-day kind of girl. My current SO and I celebrated the first year we were together (he got me a video game, I got him a collectible Ash (evil dead) figurine). We're heading into our 3rd vday and our plans are....nothing, we could care less. But then again I don't even know when our anniversay is, and could really care less about most holidays. I only celebrate xmas and birthdays because I like giving presents.
 
2004-01-26 09:30:37 PM  
By Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., from Lifetimetv.com

From Lifetime TV? I bet this Pepper Schwartz would say the same thing no matter what the circumstances.

/Damn Feminazis
 
2004-01-26 09:31:01 PM  
Why does the price of the engagement ring even matter?
 
2004-01-26 09:33:35 PM  
If this biatch only cares about artificial holidays, she can go to hell. Love aint about doing anything set in stone. If you love someone, be creative.

I feel sorry for this guy.
 
2004-01-26 09:34:26 PM  
What is it with this obsession that women have with the engagement ring? and I see that the most with American women, wow I pity you guys.

I didn't want an engagement ring, I guess women like the one in the article and the writer would think of me as pathetic cause I didn't make my husband spend his money on a piece of metal.
My thoughts are that if she wants a ring so badly then work for it and pay for it yourself.
Bah bah this women should NOT be allowed to marry anyway, let alone have children.
 
2004-01-26 09:34:38 PM  
I remember when some jewelly store chain ran an Ad urging men to come in and 'ask about the 2 month salary guideline'. That was about 20 years ago, I don't recall when we hit this 4-month level.
 
2004-01-26 09:37:19 PM  
Well now those adds are allways like this:

"If you want to show her you love her, buy her this"
"To let her know you want to be with her forever blabla"

So basically they are telling the guys that if they don't buy it, they are loosers, and to the women that if they don't get one they are not loved..
 
2004-01-26 09:41:36 PM  
Oh and read the article the lady linked heh that is even better.

http://www.lifetimetv.com/reallife/relation/features/wedding.html

/lazy
 
2004-01-26 09:44:16 PM  
kliq

besides the valid argument that this girl is probably a whiny, co-dependent gold-digger,
there's a lot of latent anger towards women in general in some of the comments. that's why i think a good number of farkers will be playing DDR alone on valentine's.

course, not all of them. obviously not. my boyfriend's a farker, and he'll spend all of v-day getting backrubs and blowjobs and breakfast in bed.

/God love the 3 Bs.
 
2004-01-26 09:47:29 PM  
You could wrap dogshiat in tinfoil and stamp it with 'tiffany's' and girls would be lining up to wear it.

I heard something like that once.

Girls have also told me they would do anything for a diamond from tiffany's. I live in las vegas though.

Depressing.
 
2004-01-26 09:49:09 PM  
kittypoo,

I tried to read your article, but I felt like killing myself soon after finishing the second paragraph.
 
2004-01-26 09:50:50 PM  
People...we have GOT to get Lifetime off the air.
 
2004-01-26 09:51:45 PM  
Oxygen is the new hotness?
 
2004-01-26 09:56:16 PM  
It seems to me that the guy is a loser NOT because he doesn't want to spend money, but because he shows no interest whatsoever in trying to make his girl feel good.

If V-day is important to your girl, then swallow your "i'm too good for a commercial holiday" crap and make the day special for her. If your "principals" are too important to you for you to do that, then your relationship is obviously not important enough.
 
2004-01-26 09:56:42 PM  
Mmm if we put the writers of MSN women and the writers of ASK MEN in a jellow fight, it could be really fun to watch!!!
 
2004-01-26 10:01:04 PM  
Illfindsomething,

I think they would get along great. Women love gay friends.
 
2004-01-26 10:11:37 PM  
The best part about Valentine's is that the Daytona 500 is just hours away.

Now that I think about it, a trip to Daytona Beach would be a nice gift, especially in the middle of a frozen PA winter. For me, at least.
 
2004-01-26 10:13:25 PM  
I don't spend three month's salary on a gaming computer, and I'll be DAMNED if i spend that on something as absolutely useless as a ring.

The first chick i meet that lets me sleep with her who also beleives this? I will marry her.
 
2004-01-26 10:14:40 PM  
"Honey? I saw your letter on MSN, and it made me do some thinking..."

"Really?"

"Yes, I've been such a cad! Here --"

[takes out wallet, pulls out a stack of $20s.]

[licks thumb]

"I was going to take you out for dinner and a play, but since you've .. wait ..20-40-60-80-100-20-40-60-80-200... but since you've explained to the entire Internet that you're just a golddigger, here's $200 bucks cash instead. Why don't you spend the night with Andrew Jackson tonight for a change?"

[turns to walk out the door, pauses, grabs three more $20s from the wallet]

"Oh, and happy effing birthday, too!"

[wads up the 20's and hurls them at the girlfriend.]
 
2004-01-26 10:15:48 PM  
Uhhh...When IS Valentine's Day?
 
2004-01-26 10:16:58 PM  
Hey, Elrik, do you know the links to the other short films that that guy made? I used to have them, but lost them recently. Thanks
 
2004-01-26 10:18:52 PM  
i'm broke. i'm single. end of story.
 
2004-01-26 10:21:07 PM  
Oh yeah, and the person who was asking," Not to mention, St. Valentine was a virgin and a martyr. what the hell does that have to do with romance?" Actually, the Church wanted to create a holiday to replace the one which currently existed, where the teenagers of the time basically chose "partners" for the day, or maybe all year( I don't remember precisely), and proceeded to fark whenever they felt like it. The Church decided they didn't like this tradition, so they chose to make a new one, which originally frowned on sex on that holiday. I suppose its lost its original meaning since then, huh?
 
2004-01-26 10:22:27 PM  
Bleah...

3 months salary is absurd. Society (under the direction of marketing) puts way too much emphasis on spending money for weddings (engagement ring + the day's celebration). Finances is one of the things that put the most stress on marriages. Couples should plan on having a great marriage instead of a great wedding. Hopefully you'll be married for thousands of days, don't worry so much about the first!

If you cut $2000 off of some of the ring/wedding costs, you could spend at least 4 nice weekend trips over the next few years, or maybe you'd start a nest egg for a house, or you can avoid debt that will cost you far more over the time you're paying it off. This is stuff you'll both still appreciate when the thrill of the wedding day has faded.

Really, can we start telling young girls to dream of great marriages instead of great wedding days?
 
2004-01-26 10:27:38 PM  
Amen to that query . Im sick of the whole "imma princess and i want THIS or there will be hell to pay". Its almost to the point where i ask a girl what her ideal wedding ceremony is on a first date, just to get that out of the way. The first one that says barefoot on a beach, smokin a spliff is the one i'll marry.

3 months salary? Now creeping up to 4 months? I dont know what you guys make, but im NOT spending 5 figures on a freakin wedding ring. Sorry, aint happening. That will pay for a nice ring and the freakin wedding, plus quite a few spliffs for said ceremony.
 
2004-01-26 10:35:50 PM  
i'm with koneko on this one. you can spend all the money in the world, but if it's a thoughtless gift, it's shiat. don't give your SO something YOU like. the point is to do things that will let your SO know that you were thinking of them and that they are important enough that you paid attention to what they like.
 
2004-01-26 10:37:15 PM  
my bithday is the day after valintines day, how does that make me feel!?!?!? I dunno...does't really effect me, exept getting lots of 'heart' and 'candy' themed presents....bastards....
 
2004-01-26 10:44:37 PM  
Looks like I picked the wrong day to stop hating women.
 
2004-01-26 10:45:03 PM  
Spaysgost: Yes, she is. Don't ever, ever assume she's not the romantic type. Do something romantic for her, even if not on Valentine's Day.

I don't personally like to cave into all the marketing propaganda on Valentine's Day. The chocolate gets crappier, the prices go up on everything, and giving a special gift on a random or mutually important day -- not a day when the marketers tell you to -- is much more special.

In any case, my girlfriend has a better gift in mind for Valentine's Day, and I plan to give it to her all day long.
 
2004-01-26 10:45:13 PM  
If women were honest: Translation........

Q: Three times a year I would like my fiance to make me feel special.... just so I can kick sand in the eyes of my female friends and say "I can SO get a guy", and it's good for my lagging self-esteem. But my fiance goes out of his way NOT to do special things for me, because he knows that I'm trying to play him for bling-bling and has no respect for me. As a result he just sees me as a sex object rather than a real friend or human being.... which matches my view of myself anyway.
On my last birthday, he asked "What do you want to do, cause I can't be farked taking your lying, manipulative, two-faced butt anywhere". This year, we are spending my birthday with his family, and he considers that to be a present for me! The LAST thing I wanted was to be seen as an item with him! I just wanted some great guilt-free sex on the side with some guy nobody would know about... while some other dork takes me out on expensive dates with no chance of getting anywhere with me... and now THIS! Now I won't be able to get a nice, stable provider-loser nice-guy to look after me now, because now he'll clearly see that I'm already taken, and stay away!
To add insult to injury, my engagement ring (which I don't even like) is cheaper than his monthly "going out with the boys to pick-up other women" expense, and even cheaper than the cost of a hooker. What can I do? I can't leave him because the sex is too GOOD!
 
2004-01-26 10:47:17 PM  
that woman who wrote that first question is a stupid biatch. getting married/having a boyfriend isn't like a damn game show, only seeing what prizes she'll get out of it. cooze. she makes us all look bad, it's too bad she is considered normal.
 
Ral
2004-01-26 11:06:46 PM  
What is it with this obsession that women have with the engagement ring? and I see that the most with American women, wow I pity you guys.

As some other people have remarked, the DeBeers diamond cartel essentially invented the entire concept of the diamond engagement ring. The "tradition" was unknown prior to about 100 years ago.

And I believe I was wrong about the "3 months salary". Should have said 1 month.

Anyway, I know exactly how much my ring cost, and I also know that it was appraised at almost twice what we paid for it. I didn't feel obligated to get a diamond just because that's the custom. I happened to like the ring I found.
 
2004-01-26 11:13:24 PM  
Everyone has the wrong idea about V Day.

This is how we spend ours:
He: buys neato gift.
I: splurge on ridiculously frilly lingerie.
We: DO NOT GO OUT. (Why do people do that on Valentine's Day?) Order food in, buy a huge chocolate cake at the store. Pig out on food and cake while watching great movies on the 61 inch TV. Then spend rest of night "frolicking."

Is fun. And there is cake. Who wouldn't like that?

--And as a side note: I don't understand the ring thing either. (It's a rock.) We just went to the jewelry store together and got matching plain gold bands. I didn't want some big, showy rock. I like the plain band. Looks great. Doesn't catch on things. Is meaningful. Perfect. Sensible for people of all incomes as well.
 
2004-01-26 11:16:08 PM  
It's very obvious that those two should not be together - I'm sure, however, that is a communication issue on both sides - she probably feels underappreciated and ultimately wants some more attention - and it sounds like he probably doesn't spend that much time with her anymore because he's sick of her high-maintenence whining. It's probably all part of some deeper rooted issues.

Well, I thought the article was bad enough - then I read this thread with the typical "I hate women" responses in anger by the typical amount of bitter/scorned/dumped/need to get laid men on this forum. Get over it! Not all women are like this.

The whole 'spend 3 months salary' propoganda is just a marketing sham - if your girlfriend is the least bit understanding she would rather have a nice affordable ring than a broke boyfriend.

I agree that if a gift is thoughtful then it will be most appreciated - no one should ever be made to feel that they 'have to spend a certain amount of money' to make their significant other happy if they truly love each other. The fact that they took the time to give or create something thoughtful is the best gift of all.
 
2004-01-26 11:18:16 PM  
Actually, the engagement ring tradition started out as a legal penalty for proposing to a woman and then breaking off the engagement. Generally, the Groom-not-to-be had to surrender a penalty of up to three months' wages as settlement for potentially 'sullying' a lady's reputation. As decularism crept into the law, pushing out laws that made sense ... the jewelry industry crept in ...

TA DA!

I think I want an engagement ring as well...
 
2004-01-26 11:18:49 PM  
Bout the only thing I'll expect from my man this V-Day is retribution for giving him a blowjob while the football game was on last November.
 
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