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(USA Today)   Moderate drinking boosts immune system. Immoderate drinking boosts likelihood of Fark membership   (usatoday.com) divider line 36
    More: Cool, Fark, immune systems, drinking boosts, Oregon Health & Science University, smallpox, vaccinations  
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1943 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Dec 2013 at 3:09 AM (15 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



36 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-30 11:41:22 PM
Well, I *did* get this sponsorship right before Christmas. Yay vodka!
 
2013-12-31 12:00:50 AM
*hic*
 
2013-12-31 01:18:36 AM
beerpulse.com
Good for what ails ye.
 
2013-12-31 03:09:56 AM
What about immodest drinking?
 
2013-12-31 03:13:05 AM

Gyrfalcon: What about immodest drinking?


That boosts the chance of being a Fark Headline.
 
2013-12-31 03:13:20 AM
research from Oregon Health & Science University found that people who drank alcohol - in moderation - had a reduced risk of death.

So there's a chance that I won't die if I drink in moderation?

Immortality for farkers! YMMV.
 
2013-12-31 03:27:48 AM
My liver hurts :-(
 
2013-12-31 03:36:59 AM
Meanwhile, water is wet, fire is hot, etc.
 
2013-12-31 03:40:04 AM

Gyrfalcon: What about immodest drinking?


Leads to Cheeseburger Shoe Syndrome.
 
2013-12-31 03:42:32 AM

Gyrfalcon: What about immodest drinking?


Drink Responsibly.

Tweak calmly.

Trip realistically.

Use heroin energetically....
 
2013-12-31 03:43:03 AM
How much were the researchers drinking?

"Hey y'all - why don't we try giving some monkeys beer and smallpox and see what happens"

"Sure, why not?"
 
2013-12-31 03:45:47 AM

opiumpoopy: How much were the researchers drinking?

"Hey y'all - why don't we try giving some monkeys beer and smallpox and see what happens"

"Sure, why not?"


99 monkeys drunk on the wall...99 monkeys and beer....
if the hundredth monkey should happen to fall...
 
2013-12-31 03:50:43 AM

whidbey: opiumpoopy: How much were the researchers drinking?

"Hey y'all - why don't we try giving some monkeys beer and smallpox and see what happens"

"Sure, why not?"

99 monkeys drunk on the wall...99 monkeys and beer....
if the hundredth monkey should happen to fall...


98 monkeys and pox that are small...
 
2013-12-31 04:05:19 AM
Speaking of, my current unearned sponsorship will go dark in a day or two. Guess I should start taking some new selfies of my spectacular rack so I can BIE my way back into TF after New Year's.
 
2013-12-31 04:07:33 AM

Wrencher: whidbey: opiumpoopy: How much were the researchers drinking?

"Hey y'all - why don't we try giving some monkeys beer and smallpox and see what happens"

"Sure, why not?"

99 monkeys drunk on the wall...99 monkeys and beer....
if the hundredth monkey should happen to fall...

98 monkeys and pox that are small...


Take one down, spread it around, 97 drunk monkeys and blankets for all.
 
2013-12-31 04:14:55 AM
Immoderation is the foundation of western civilization.
 
2013-12-31 04:31:41 AM
FTFA:  The study was funded by the National Institutes of Health and the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.

I'm surprised the study wasn't buried.
 
2013-12-31 04:47:39 AM
/Oh so that's what happened that night
 
2013-12-31 04:55:48 AM

ProfessorTomoe: [beerpulse.com image 575x575]
Good for what ails ye.


I prefer their Cinnful Apple, but the base prescription is sound.
 
2013-12-31 04:57:31 AM

4NTLRZ: Wrencher: whidbey: opiumpoopy: How much were the researchers drinking?

"Hey y'all - why don't we try giving some monkeys beer and smallpox and see what happens"

"Sure, why not?"

99 monkeys drunk on the wall...99 monkeys and beer....
if the hundredth monkey should happen to fall...

98 monkeys and pox that are small...

Take one down, spread it around, 97 drunk monkeys and blankets for all.



You only get the blankets if you're Native American.

/Special place, hell, and all that.
 
2013-12-31 05:51:51 AM

HotWingAgenda: Speaking of, my current unearned sponsorship will go dark in a day or two. Guess I should start taking some new selfies of my spectacular rack so I can BIE my way back into TF after New Year's.


Honestly, it's a pretty safe bet.
 
2013-12-31 06:03:21 AM
HotWingAgenda: ...my spectacular rack so I can BIE my way back into TF after New Year's.

www.winess.co.uk


That IS pretty spectacular...
 
2013-12-31 06:11:43 AM

HotWingAgenda: Speaking of, my current unearned sponsorship will go dark in a day or two. Guess I should start taking some new selfies of my spectacular rack so I can BIE my way back into TF after New Year's.


That's the spirit!

/me too
 
2013-12-31 06:11:59 AM
This is true I lurked for years then one night while drunk at work I created an account, and success has been mine ever since!@

/CSB
 
2013-12-31 06:19:08 AM
From the link within the article:

The monkeys' voluntary ethanol consumption segregated them into two groups. One group was made up of heavy drinkers, those that had an average blood ethanol concentration greater than 0.08 percent - the legal limit for humans to be able to drive a vehicle. The other group was made up of moderate drinkers, with an average blood ethanol concentration of 0.02 to 0.04 percent.

So their "heavy drinkers" were what Farkers would probably not even consider buzzed.
 
2013-12-31 07:22:03 AM

HotWingAgenda: Speaking of, my current unearned sponsorship will go dark in a day or two. Guess I should start taking some new selfies of my spectacular rack so I can BIE my way back into TF after New Year's.


I tried that wearing a mankini...............didnt work :(
 
2013-12-31 07:40:33 AM
I wonder why they used smallpox vaccine?  Since smallpox has been eradicated in the wild and all . . . so, if the monkeys didn't catch smallpox, I guess the drinking saved them?

I guess it depends on their criteria for "responding to the vaccine".
 
2013-12-31 08:28:02 AM
I'm not the type who sends links around to people, but this one might have to break that string.

In other news, Drunken Monkeys must be awesome to watch, and also would be a great band name.
 
2013-12-31 08:43:13 AM
From my own anecdotal observations, I concur.  When I was a boy my father was a very heavy drinker (high functioning alcoholic really). I was amazed at how little he would get sick.  Every winter I would get at least a couple of colds, but he never seemed to catch anything, even when I was walking around the house hacking my lungs out.
 
2013-12-31 09:12:45 AM
weird, ever since i turned mormon and stopped drinking i stopped getting hit by colds and the flu as much. maybe it's dependent on individual, circumstances, lifestyle, genetics... everything else.
 
2013-12-31 09:47:29 AM

opiumpoopy: How much were the researchers drinking?

"Hey y'all - why don't we try giving some monkeys beer and smallpox and see what happens"

"Sure, why not?"


Just remember you have to keep them at -20 degrees C overnight though. Nevermind, I'll leave a post-it.
 
2013-12-31 10:17:57 AM
Drinkers also earn more, by 10-15%. Heavy drinkers earn more than moderate or light drinkers, up to the point where serious alcoholism starts lowering income again. Did my masters final paper on this.

/otoh, I'm stone broke, so what does that tell you?
 
2013-12-31 10:50:31 AM

neon_god: Drinkers also earn more, by 10-15%. Heavy drinkers earn more than moderate or light drinkers, up to the point where serious alcoholism starts lowering income again. Did my masters final paper on this.

/otoh, I'm stone broke, so what does that tell you?


You drink too much... or too little?  I don't know, I'm getting mixed messages here.

/One more, then we go.
 
2013-12-31 11:48:23 AM

redflag: neon_god: Drinkers also earn more, by 10-15%. Heavy drinkers earn more than moderate or light drinkers, up to the point where serious alcoholism starts lowering income again. Did my masters final paper on this.

/otoh, I'm stone broke, so what does that tell you?

You drink too much... or too little?  I don't know, I'm getting mixed messages here.

/One more, then we go.


I'm on Fark, it isn't too little
 
2013-12-31 12:03:04 PM

inclemency: My liver hurts :-(


knew the feeling, got me to stop
 
2014-01-01 03:31:55 AM

Hyjamon: inclemency: My liver hurts :-(

knew the feeling, got me to stop


On the way back to the rooms. They just suck so hard.
 
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