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(HitFix)   13 cocktails that will make your New Year's Eve party nerdy and certainly ruin everyone's New Year's Day   (hitfix.com) divider line 37
    More: Cool, New Year's Eve  
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2694 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 30 Dec 2013 at 5:38 PM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-30 03:35:50 PM
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D

You will need:

- feces
- bitters
 
2013-12-30 04:35:19 PM
So, there's a convoluted cocktail in honor of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." I guess a gin and tonic wasn't an homage enough.
 
2013-12-30 05:40:15 PM
I read the URL and didn't even let the page load.
 
2013-12-30 05:46:08 PM
I like my cocktails to be clear (or olive juice tinted) and have two or three ingredients at most (if you count vermouth), so I won't even consider these, but I do appreciate the effort.
 
2013-12-30 05:46:44 PM

what_now: I like my cocktails to be clear (or olive juice tinted) and have two or three ingredients at most (if you count vermouth), so I won't even consider these, but I do appreciate the effort.


I mean, except for a Bloody Mary. But that doesn't really count, as that is breakfast.
 
2013-12-30 05:46:56 PM
That site must be getting a kick back from blue curacao.
 
2013-12-30 05:52:51 PM
My favorite cocktail involves vodka, mixed with vodka, and a spritz of vodka. If I'm feeling fancy, I'll add a lime.
 
2013-12-30 05:57:14 PM

what_now: I like my cocktails to be clear


I don't drink much clear any more, but you are right about simple.
This imho is one of the best cocktails around.

Two fingers or so of4 Roses Bourbon over ice.
Squeeze of lime juice
1/4 can of ginger beer.
Stir, then drink.
 
2013-12-30 05:58:39 PM

Space Station Wagon: what_now: I like my cocktails to be clear

I don't drink much clear any more, but you are right about simple.
This imho is one of the best cocktails around.

Two fingers or so of4 Roses Bourbon over ice.
Squeeze of lime juice
1/4 can of ginger beer.
Stir, then drink.


I don't care too much for bourbon, but I do enjoy:
Scotch (or whiskey)
ice
glass.

The ice is negotiable. I'm not picky.
 
2013-12-30 06:13:40 PM
That was a vile list.

Want to make friends happy, get some Crème de Cassis and make Kir Royal (link) for your New Years Eve toast. The liqueur will even out the shiatyness of the cheap "champagne" you bought. Your friends might even thank you for providing free cheap booze.
 
2013-12-30 06:13:52 PM

what_now: Scotch (or whiskey)
ice
glass.


Lagavulin 16 or Ardbeg Uigeadail for islay malts
or for something a little less intense
Auchentoshan three wood
 
2013-12-30 06:19:29 PM
Wasn't worth the effort to figure out how to get "After the jump", so.

One year I did go through all 6 classic cocktails. Sidecars are pretty damn tasty, and Applejack (to make a Jack Rose) is decent on it's lonesome.

The martini, however, was ruined by the addition of gin.
 
2013-12-30 06:33:51 PM

mark.jms: Wasn't worth the effort to figure out how to get "After the jump", so.

One year I did go through all 6 classic cocktails. Sidecars are pretty damn tasty, and Applejack (to make a Jack Rose) is decent on it's lonesome.

The martini, however, was ruined by the addition of gin.


That threw me off as well, it was the slideshow after the jmp that they were referring to.
 
2013-12-30 06:34:53 PM
mark.jms:
The martini, however, was ruined by the addition of gin.

A martini, by definition, is made with gin unless specifically labeled a vodka martini.  Gin, vermouth, olive.  Vodka is for soccer mom-tinis and other foo-foo drinks.
 
2013-12-30 06:47:14 PM
All the drink recipes from Quark's Bar & Restaurant, formerly of the Las Vegas Hilton.

Don't get much nerdier than that. The Warp Core Breach and Borg Sphere were... interesting.
 
2013-12-30 06:56:59 PM
13 cocktails to show your friends that you have no personality outside of the media you consume
 
2013-12-30 07:07:49 PM
Goblet of fire came out this year? I must be living in the future
 
2013-12-30 07:09:19 PM

mark.jms: The martini, however, was ruined by the addition of gin.


Sorry, be back later, just going to go shoot myself in the head.

serial arseonist: A martini, by definition, is made with gin


Thank you.
 
2013-12-30 07:34:21 PM

serial arseonist: mark.jms:
The martini, however, was ruined by the addition of gin.

A martini, by definition, is made with gin unless specifically labeled a vodka martini.  Gin, vermouth, olive.  Vodka is for soccer mom-tinis and other foo-foo drinks.




Preach it, sister.
 
2013-12-30 07:37:29 PM

timujin: mark.jms: Wasn't worth the effort to figure out how to get "After the jump", so.

One year I did go through all 6 classic cocktails. Sidecars are pretty damn tasty, and Applejack (to make a Jack Rose) is decent on it's lonesome.

The martini, however, was ruined by the addition of gin.

That threw me off as well, it was the slideshow after the jmp that they were referring to.


A slideshow "after the jump" is a combination of suck even the Internet rarely sees.
 
2013-12-30 07:45:50 PM

what_now: serial arseonist: mark.jms:
The martini, however, was ruined by the addition of gin.

A martini, by definition, is made with gin unless specifically labeled a vodka martini.  Gin, vermouth, olive.  Vodka is for soccer mom-tinis and other foo-foo drinks.



Preach it, sister.


Having spent a little time in Russia, I would like to clarify that vodka drinks are for soccer moms, etc. Neat vodka is perfectly manly, especially interspersed with Russian Champaign. Oh, my head.
 
2013-12-30 07:55:11 PM
Most of those drink options sound perfectly dreadful. Cotton candy flavored vodak should not exist, much less be combined with other ingredients.
 
2013-12-30 08:05:06 PM

serial arseonist: mark.jms:
The martini, however, was ruined by the addition of gin.

A martini, by definition, is made with gin unless specifically labeled a vodka martini.  Gin, vermouth, olive.  Vodka is for soccer mom-tinis and other foo-foo drinks.


^^^^ If it doesn't have gin, it's not a martini. Period.
 
2013-12-30 08:40:13 PM

Nabb1: serial arseonist: mark.jms:
The martini, however, was ruined by the addition of gin.

A martini, by definition, is made with gin unless specifically labeled a vodka martini.  Gin, vermouth, olive.  Vodka is for soccer mom-tinis and other foo-foo drinks.

^^^^ If it doesn't have gin, it's not a martini. Period.


This just goes to show how meaningless the terms "nerd" and "geek" are nowadays. A "nerd" cocktail thread and yet there is some clueless tourist who doesn't understand that a martini contains gin.
 
2013-12-30 08:50:32 PM

mark.jms: Wasn't worth the effort to figure out how to get "After the jump", so.

One year I did go through all 6 classic cocktails. Sidecars are pretty damn tasty, and Applejack (to make a Jack Rose) is decent on it's lonesome.

The martini, however, was ruined by the addition of gin.


Umm, what? A martini is almost all gin. Unless you order a variation on the martini called a Vodka martini, which I hear it's good but I've never ordered one since the original is already a perfect drink.
 
2013-12-30 09:28:39 PM
I like vodka martinis. But then I'm a heathen.
 
2013-12-30 09:38:56 PM
So, this was for parties that only invited people who don't stand up when they pee, I take it.
 
2013-12-30 09:40:34 PM

mark.jms: Wasn't worth the effort to figure out how to get "After the jump", so.

One year I did go through all 6 classic cocktails. Sidecars are pretty damn tasty, and Applejack (to make a Jack Rose) is decent on it's lonesome.

The martini, however, was ruined by the addition of gin.


Well-trolled, sir! Well-trolled!
 
2013-12-30 09:42:00 PM

Silly_Sot: So, this was for parties that only invited people who don't stand up when they pee, I take it.


And people younger than the legal drinking age.
 
2013-12-31 12:28:24 AM
Worst thing is that last time I tried to order a martini in a bar, bartender gave me vodka and then copped an attitude when I tasted it and complained. I should not have to specify gin in one of the most classic gin cocktails on the planet.
 
2013-12-31 12:54:36 AM

Arachnophobe: All the drink recipes from Quark's Bar & Restaurant, formerly of the Las Vegas Hilton.

Don't get much nerdier than that. The Warp Core Breach and Borg Sphere were... interesting.


Oh man, warp core breach looks like it'll fark you up.  Like drawing smiley faces on the super-slow-mo fog from an actual warp core breach farked.

geekintoshape.com
 
2013-12-31 02:11:37 AM
Breaking Bad-Themed Cocktails:

The Marie:

1oz Creme de violette
1oz Parfait d'Amour
1oz Hypnotiq Harmonie

Shake with ice, strain into a cocktail glass glass rimmed with purple sugar, garnish with a purple cocktail umbrella

The Hank

1 pint Homebrewed beer (any German style)
1/2oz Jagermeister
1/2oz Rumple Minze

Shake Jagermeister and Rumple Minze with ice and strain into to a shot glass to prepare a Screaming Nazi shot. Pour beer into glass. Put shot through head of beer.

The Hank (2)

2oz Whisky (any type)

Serve whisky "on the minerals".

The Ted

2oz Vodka
1oz Cranberry juice
Champagne to fill
Assorted whole fruit

Mix vodka and cranberry juice in a large champagne flute and add champagne to fill. Place fruit in large decorative bowl. Serve fruit to accompany drink. Smash drinker's face into fruit bowl after he takes his first sip.
 
2013-12-31 04:41:04 AM
 
2013-12-31 04:44:57 AM

Alx_xlA: Mix vodka and cranberry juice in a large champagne flute and add champagne to fill.


I forgot to mention that this combination is called a Silver Mercedes, which is sort of important to the joke.
 
2013-12-31 06:30:48 AM

Rhino_man: Arachnophobe: All the drink recipes from Quark's Bar & Restaurant, formerly of the Las Vegas Hilton.

Don't get much nerdier than that. The Warp Core Breach and Borg Sphere were... interesting.

Oh man, warp core breach looks like it'll fark you up.  Like drawing smiley faces on the super-slow-mo fog from an actual warp core breach farked.

[geekintoshape.com image 640x252]


It's powerful. But it should probably be noted somewhere that the Warp Core Breach and the Borg Sphere were meant to be multi-person drinks. I can't imagine polishing one of those off solo.
 
2013-12-31 06:59:53 AM
Yeah, this crap can die in a fire. While I would never turn down free booze without damn good reason, I'd look at this shiat with derision and chug it as quick as I could, both to minimize exposure to the taste and to more quickly get to a state of drunk where I don't know or care what I'm chugging.

The cocktail's I'll willingly make for myself or others are:
Basic highballs - Whiskey (when not drunk neat) or rum and Coke. Or pretty much liquor I won't drink straight with any soda.
Martini - Dry, and usually dirty. 1 part vermouth, 5 parts gin (usually Beefeater), olive, splash of brine
Gin and Tonic - Gin, tonic, lime over ice. Damned be the bartender who forgets the lime.
Margarita - I like a variant with Damiana liqueur replacing the Tripel Sec. 1 part that, 2 parts fresh lime juice, 3 parts tequila (Cazadores Reposado works well). Fark mixes, make it from scratch or not at all.

If you want anything else mixed, you'll have to make it yourself.
 
2013-12-31 09:10:53 AM

Arachnophobe: Rhino_man: Arachnophobe: All the drink recipes from Quark's Bar & Restaurant, formerly of the Las Vegas Hilton.

Don't get much nerdier than that. The Warp Core Breach and Borg Sphere were... interesting.

Oh man, warp core breach looks like it'll fark you up.  Like drawing smiley faces on the super-slow-mo fog from an actual warp core breach farked.

[geekintoshape.com image 640x252]

It's powerful. But it should probably be noted somewhere that the Warp Core Breach and the Borg Sphere were meant to be multi-person drinks. I can't imagine polishing one of those off solo.


Then you're drinking wrong.
 
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