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(Mandatory)   "Sorry I set up a smoke machine and played the Undertaker's theme song at your grandmother's funeral" and 99 other funniest tweets of the year   (mandatory.com) divider line 32
    More: Amusing, Undertaker, rap battle, grandmother, machines  
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10359 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Dec 2013 at 1:11 PM (15 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



32 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-30 01:16:05 PM
I wouldn't mind the Undertaker's theme at my funeral.
/the original, not this "American badass" thing he tried a while ago
 
2013-12-30 01:20:14 PM
Hi it's Kasey I'm not dead in the ditch lol f*cking whale emoji #yolo
 
2013-12-30 01:35:34 PM
At least it fits.

/all that's missing is Paul Bearer carrying the ashes
 
2013-12-30 01:36:27 PM
Joke's on us: there are no funny tweets!
 
2013-12-30 01:39:26 PM
The list amused me. Thanks Subby! Good find.
 
2013-12-30 01:39:41 PM
FTA: "I wish Full House had the same ending as The Prestige."

i1182.photobucket.com
 
2013-12-30 01:46:05 PM

zulius: I wouldn't mind the Undertaker's theme at my funeral.
/the original, not this "American badass" thing he tried a while ago


This. That would be AMAZING.
 
2013-12-30 01:49:48 PM
Any tweet from the iron sheik is gold
 
2013-12-30 02:03:56 PM

teenage mutant ninja rapist: Any tweet from the iron sheik is gold


FAAACKING BOOOLCHEEET!
 
2013-12-30 02:06:46 PM
This was 2012 but it's still my all-time fave Twitter convo:

i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-30 02:10:17 PM
Did those wankers use pagination that autoscrolls to the top of the page but it doesn't have a distinct url so you can't... DIAF
 
2013-12-30 02:14:19 PM
"You know those Sex Houses, the little wooden houses with the hole for your dick that people hang in trees? Apparently those are for birds."

Now that's damn funny.
 
2013-12-30 02:14:43 PM
My fave:

My Mexican waiter put my food down in front of another white lady who looked nothing like me. I get it now. Oh wait that's not my waiter.
 
2013-12-30 02:19:34 PM

zulius: I wouldn't mind the Undertaker's theme at my funeral.
/the original, not this "American badass" thing he tried a while ago


I would prefer "All Dead, All Dead" by Brian May/Queen played at my funeral.

/Put the "fun" back in "funeral"
 
2013-12-30 02:19:49 PM
"hi, grandma? can u come pick me up from my rap battle? it's over. no, i lost. he saw u drop me off & did a pretty devastating rhyme about it"
 
2013-12-30 02:21:47 PM

unyon: My fave:

My Mexican waiter put my food down in front of another white lady who looked nothing like me. I get it now. Oh wait that's not my waiter.


I concur.
 
2013-12-30 02:31:50 PM
Another nice one fta:

I hate Joel Schumacher's cartoonish Batman. I much prefer Nolan's gritty, realistic take on a rich guy in a bat costume beating up a clown. -Stefan @boring_as_heck

/I chuckled
 
2013-12-30 02:47:08 PM
I felt like it was a decent if unspectacular list until I got to the Tormny_Pickeals one about sex being like an ocean. Maybe the beachhead had been softened leading up to it, but that one sent me into inexplicable titters.
 
2013-12-30 02:51:30 PM
I feel bad for people born on 9/11, because then instead of a birthday gift and a 9/11 gift, you only get one.

That reads like a Galifianakis joke.
 
2013-12-30 02:55:42 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
/hot
 
2013-12-30 03:17:53 PM
"This spinach dip says 'best before 9/11' and i'm like wasn't everything?"
 
2013-12-30 03:33:45 PM
"Pick up artists and garbage men should switch names."

"Sorry I yelled "SPOILER ALERT!" when you told us grandma had six months to live :("
 
2013-12-30 05:17:33 PM
Romance: During lovemaking you ask your gf to put her finger in your butt. She does & when she pulls it out there's an engagement ring on it
 
2013-12-30 05:31:57 PM
What am I missing about the first tweet? The rap/church one?
 
2013-12-30 05:43:31 PM

bratface: What am I missing about the first tweet? The rap/church one?


Dude's name is church. The thing is what he's saying to his grandma on the phone after he lost the rap battle.
 
2013-12-30 05:56:18 PM

phyrkrakr: bratface: What am I missing about the first tweet? The rap/church one?

Dude's name is church. The thing is what he's saying to his grandma on the phone after he lost the rap battle.


AND?
 
2013-12-30 05:56:40 PM
Way to quote the least funny tweet, subby
 
2013-12-30 06:08:36 PM

bratface: phyrkrakr: bratface: What am I missing about the first tweet? The rap/church one?

Dude's name is church. The thing is what he's saying to his grandma on the phone after he lost the rap battle.

AND?


It's not easy to be HARDCORE when you're getting taxi service from Gram-Gram.
 
2013-12-30 06:09:53 PM

bratface: phyrkrakr: bratface: What am I missing about the first tweet? The rap/church one?

Dude's name is church. The thing is what he's saying to his grandma on the phone after he lost the rap battle.

AND?


If you had a sense of humor, you proceed to laugh.  You, on the other hand, can just continue on being an idiot.
 
2013-12-30 07:04:57 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: bratface: phyrkrakr: bratface: What am I missing about the first tweet? The rap/church one?

Dude's name is church. The thing is what he's saying to his grandma on the phone after he lost the rap battle.

AND?

It's not easy to be HARDCORE when you're getting taxi service from Gram-Gram.


Thanks Superhero. I figured it was a young kid who lives with granny so I wasn't thinking of the 'hardcore' angle.
 
2013-12-30 07:06:37 PM

redflag: bratface: phyrkrakr: bratface: What am I missing about the first tweet? The rap/church one?

Dude's name is church. The thing is what he's saying to his grandma on the phone after he lost the rap battle.

AND?

If you had a sense of humor, you proceed to laugh.  You, on the other hand, can just continue on being an idiot.


Thanks redflag, you can continue on being an as*hole!
 
2013-12-30 09:30:34 PM
For some reason I'm hearing them in Mitch Hedberg's voice.
 
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