If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Fox News)   I want a Bible. I want a clock. I want the name of the company making the cheese on my sandwiches. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake. I want potato chips   (foxnews.com) divider line 105
    More: Asinine, Fort Hood, Bibles, Jim Galligan, Fort Leavenworth, Nidal Hasan  
•       •       •

12691 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Dec 2013 at 1:16 PM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



105 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-12-30 12:22:03 PM  
you'll get nothing and like it.
 
2013-12-30 12:41:40 PM  
Dude, you are the very stereotype of a mad Muslim who yells Allah Akbar and goes on a killing rampage.
Fark you and die.
 
2013-12-30 12:50:27 PM  
Yeah, sorry. I'm not going to get outraged about the guy asking for a Bible and basic things required for fairly mainstream religious practice.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-12-30 12:53:04 PM  

Cagey B: Yeah, sorry. I'm not going to get outraged about the guy asking for a Bible and basic things required for fairly mainstream religious practice.


I thought he was a Muslim?  Maybe he's whatever is good for getting attention at the moment.
 
2013-12-30 12:58:11 PM  
stream1.gifsoup.com
 
2013-12-30 01:09:01 PM  

vpb: I thought he was a Muslim? Maybe he's whatever is good for getting attention at the moment.


You're right. Bibles have nothing to do with religious study for Muslims, and clearly he's requesting it only to get attention by outside media sources. The best thing we can do is to get really angry about it.
 
2013-12-30 01:16:58 PM  
Hasan also asked the jail for a copy of the Bible and added, "Please send a knowledgeable person to answer my difficult questions, as well as a paperback copy for my personal use."

If only there was someone who could answer these questions for him.

www4.pictures.zimbio.com
 
2013-12-30 01:18:37 PM  

silo123j: you'll get nothing and like it.


Thanks

/done in one
//back to bullfights on acid
 
2013-12-30 01:18:48 PM  

silo123j: you'll get nothing and like it.


And we're done.
 
2013-12-30 01:20:25 PM  
I say if he's concerned about the grilled cheese sandwiches, we give him ham and cheese until his execution date.

/went through that very building on my way to the 'box in '03.  Fark him.
 
2013-12-30 01:22:32 PM  

silo123j: you'll get nothing and like it.


Came for this, found it, now I'm going to do something else.
 
2013-12-30 01:22:59 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2013-12-30 01:24:10 PM  
[Well_bye.jpg]
 
2013-12-30 01:24:27 PM  
I'll give you asthma.
 
2013-12-30 01:24:30 PM  
No bean feast?
 
2013-12-30 01:26:47 PM  
http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source= web&cd=1&ved=0CCgQtwIwAA&url=htt p%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv% 3DO4AfA_lebIg&ei=ZrrBUv7zOublyQH l1oDYCw&usg=AFQjCNE_1SY3nZEt2FXCIOgYjH fyEUb0Hw

Captain Hook could not be reached for comment.
 
2013-12-30 01:28:51 PM  
Boring. This shouldn't qualify as news.
 
2013-12-30 01:28:59 PM  
I'm supposed to be outraged by the fact he requested reasonable things, AND he got a fair trial?

Oh, wait.

It's not news, it's Foxnews.com
 
2013-12-30 01:29:31 PM  
You have to be pretty farked up to join the army.
 
2013-12-30 01:30:24 PM  
Double farts!
 
2013-12-30 01:31:09 PM  

hardinparamedic: I'm supposed to be outraged by the fact he requested reasonable things, AND he got a fair trial?

Oh, wait.

It's not news, it's Foxnews.com


It's one of his own attorneys that seems to think you should be outraged by that.
 
2013-12-30 01:31:50 PM  
Let's hope we draw the line at granting him a daily ride on a little pony.
 
2013-12-30 01:33:55 PM  
I fail to see the problem here. Just because you are on trial does not mean you lose your rights.
 
2013-12-30 01:34:30 PM  
I want a party
Pink macaroons and a million balloons
And performing baboons and ...
Give it to me
Rrhh rhhh
Now!

I want the world
I want the whole world
I want to lock it all up in my pocket
It's my bar of chocolate
Give it to me
Now!

I want today
I want tomorrow
I want to wear 'em like braids in my hair
And I don't want to share 'em

I want a party with room fulls of laughter
Ten thousand tons of ice cream
And if I don't get the things I am after
I'm going to scream!

I want the works
I want the whole works
Presents and prizes and sweets and surprises
Of all shapes and sizes
And now
Don't care how
I want it now
Don't care how
I want it now
 
2013-12-30 01:35:05 PM  
A snickers bar! Chewing gum! And my attorney, badge kisser!
 
2013-12-30 01:36:21 PM  

monoski: I fail to see the problem here. Just because you are on trial does not mean you lose your rights.


Sure it does.

You can lose your rights just by someone making accusations against you.

It's wrong and I do not agree with it...but it happens.
 
2013-12-30 01:36:42 PM  

macadamnut: You have to be pretty farked up to join the army.


macadamnut: You have to be pretty farked up to join the army.


macadamnut: You have to be pretty farked up to join the army.

 
2013-12-30 01:37:04 PM  
Fox News is just shocked he didn't ask for a Qur'an. He'll piss Fox News off further if he asks for an English translated Jewish Bible (Tanakh) instead of the Christian one.
 
2013-12-30 01:38:07 PM  
Did he ask for a Jaguar?
 
2013-12-30 01:38:20 PM  
The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, and this magazine, and the chair.
 
2013-12-30 01:38:23 PM  
He wants cheese? Give him Limburger. On a slice of onion.
 
2013-12-30 01:40:25 PM  
I want a garden.
I want a garden where the flowers have no flowers.
I want a garden where the trees have no leaves.
I want a garden where the tre-weeds don't even grow.
I want a garden.
I want MY garden.
I want a garden where there are no colors.
I want to water that garden.
I'll garden that with my tears.
Whilst that garden busted trees,
Busted leaves, water me with my own.
 
2013-12-30 01:42:24 PM  

vudukungfu: Dude, you are the very stereotype of a mad Muslim who yells Allah Akbar and goes on a killing rampage.
Fark you and die.


He's a stereotypical convert IMHO.

People who're just Muslims are normal just like everyone else, it's the people who choose to convert from one religion to another that go all fanatical. I mean, if they didn't get to be completely fanatical about their new religion, they wouldn't have converted in the first place.

/flying spaghetti monster and Jedi converts excepted.
//How would knowing the name of the company that produces his cheese tell him if it was Halal? Well, I guess he could get his lawyer to look it up for him.
 
2013-12-30 01:44:45 PM  
Galligan has accused the Army of "overkill" in trying and convicting Hasan, who is now on military death row at Fort Leavenworth, Kansas.

"I mean, it's just a bunch of overkill," Galligan said. "Overreach. Unnecessary funds that were spent."


I want to understand this better.  What was the overkill?  The guard?  The helicopter?  The grilled cheese sandwiches?
 
2013-12-30 01:45:26 PM  

Cagey B: vpb: I thought he was a Muslim? Maybe he's whatever is good for getting attention at the moment.

You're right. Bibles have nothing to do with religious study for Muslims, and clearly he's requesting it only to get attention by outside media sources. The best thing we can do is to get really angry about it.


Eh yes both the Bible and the Torah is relevant to Muslims. The Quaran talks a lot about both, seeing as it's the same god. Obviously the Quaran is the "correct" interpretation, but the Torah and the Bible are holy scriptures as well, dealing with the same faith.

It doesn't work the other way around since the Bible isn't based on the Quaran of course, seeing as its older.
 
2013-12-30 01:46:51 PM  

spawn73: //How would knowing the name of the company that produces his cheese tell him if it was Halal? Well, I guess he could get his lawyer to look it up for him.


Maybe hes been eating head cheese and is starting to doubt the guards sincerity.
 
2013-12-30 01:46:52 PM  

Eddie Adams from Torrance: The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, and this magazine, and the chair.



Don't forget the thermos.....
 
2013-12-30 01:48:07 PM  

hardinparamedic: I'm supposed to be outraged by the fact he requested reasonable things, AND he got a fair trial?

Oh, wait.

It's not news, it's Foxnews.com


Foxnews seemed to be happy. Why wouldn't they be, he asked for a bible.

He could ask for a lobster dinner every day and they'd be happy, just because of the bible.
 
2013-12-30 01:49:21 PM  

Prey4reign: Let's hope we draw the line at granting him a daily ride on a little pony.


derpicdn.net
 
2013-12-30 01:51:10 PM  
 
2013-12-30 01:55:00 PM  
I read clock as something vastly different, and therefore thought the context of this article was going be vastly different as well...
 
2013-12-30 01:55:04 PM  
In other news. Random tv shows, movies, and novels used to and still occasionally have plot blurbs about a prisoner requesting a bible and or reading/quoting from it.  What was the name of one of the 70s early 80s movie I'm somehow remembering and it's too damn vague to describe a scene from it, again?
 
2013-12-30 01:59:25 PM  
Subby submitted this with a better headline than mine.

;)

/way to go, subs
 
2013-12-30 02:02:06 PM  

vudukungfu: Dude, you are the very stereotype of a mad Muslim who yells Allah Akbar and goes on a killing rampage.
Fark you and die.


What ever happen to rights and human dignity? Either they are universal and applies to all, or admit that all the precious rights and freedoms your pretentious republic likes to brag about are nothing more than temporary privileges that can be taken away, which is closer to the truth.
 
2013-12-30 02:03:06 PM  

Pick: He wants cheese? Give him Limburger. On a slice of onion.


Sprinkle it with smoked paprika and I'll have one.

/uses it as a weapon
 
2013-12-30 02:04:14 PM  

bhcompy: Galligan has accused the Army of "overkill" in trying and convicting Hasan, who is now on military death row at Fort Leavenworth, Kansas.

"I mean, it's just a bunch of overkill," Galligan said. "Overreach. Unnecessary funds that were spent."

I want to understand this better.  What was the overkill?  The guard?  The helicopter?  The grilled cheese sandwiches?


No child left behind, obviously.
 
2013-12-30 02:05:05 PM  

spawn73: He's a stereotypical convert IMHO.


Yeah, but I'm fed up with stereotypical killers.
We had the stereotypical muslim yelling allah akbar and the stereotypical mad Russian bombers, and a stereotypical psychos who have access to guns and go on a rampage this year.

I'd like those types to knock it off, please in the coming year, and let us suffer some less obvious threats, for a change.
 
2013-12-30 02:05:52 PM  

cwolf20: In other news. Random tv shows, movies, and novels used to and still occasionally have plot blurbs about a prisoner requesting a bible and or reading/quoting from it.  What was the name of one of the 70s early 80s movie I'm somehow remembering and it's too damn vague to describe a scene from it, again?


Not obscure, or even the one you're thinking of, but the first one that pops into my mind is Shawshank Redemption, especially the 'verse war' scene and the whole "Salvation lies within" twist.
 
2013-12-30 02:07:06 PM  

cwolf20: In other news. Random tv shows, movies, and novels used to and still occasionally have plot blurbs about a prisoner requesting a bible and or reading/quoting from it.  What was the name of one of the 70s early 80s movie I'm somehow remembering and it's too damn vague to describe a scene from it, again?


Was it the one with that guy in it? You know. Wassisface.
 
2013-12-30 02:07:17 PM  

CutBoard: Eddie Adams from Torrance: The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, and this magazine, and the chair.


Don't forget the thermos.....


And the dog... GRRRRRRR..  okay never mind the dog.
 
Displayed 50 of 105 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report