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(Esquire)   2013, the year we broke the internet. "This is not a glitch in the system. It is the system. Readers are gullible, the media is feckless, garbage is circulated around, and everyone goes to bed happy and fed"   (esquire.com) divider line 69
    More: Sad, William Randolph Hearst, Spanish-American War, television producers, Farhad Manjoo, Sphinx, Lovecraftian, Altria, Ryan Grim  
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6420 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Dec 2013 at 10:51 AM (15 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-30 10:56:16 AM
Hey. It pays some, ahem, people's bills so don't knock it.
 
2013-12-30 10:58:18 AM
FTFA: For some, sharing the photos was a statement on global warming. For others, sharing was about the triumph of discovery, making them proud housecats dropping a half-chewed mouse of news on the Internet's doorstep. For most, however, the photos were just another thoughtlessly processed and soon-forgotten item that represented our now-instinctual response to the unrelenting stream of information we're subjected to every waking hour.

Bullshiat.  99% of people just thought it was a cool image and wanted to share it with other people who might think it was cool too.  The exact same thing humans have done ever since we became humans.
 
2013-12-30 10:58:32 AM
They don't make the internet like they used to, in my day.

/get off my virtual lawn
 
2013-12-30 10:59:24 AM
Also on Esquire, Jean-Claude Van Damme's most outrageous moments!
 
2013-12-30 11:00:00 AM
 
2013-12-30 11:00:12 AM

JMacPA: FTFA: For some, sharing the photos was a statement on global warming. For others, sharing was about the triumph of discovery, making them proud housecats dropping a half-chewed mouse of news on the Internet's doorstep. For most, however, the photos were just another thoughtlessly processed and soon-forgotten item that represented our now-instinctual response to the unrelenting stream of information we're subjected to every waking hour.

Bullshiat.  99% of people just thought it was a cool image and wanted to share it with other people who might think it was cool too.  The exact same thing humans have done ever since we became humans.


Well, we didn't have people empowered to do this quite so easily before.  It's like letting everyone have guns: people have been killing people since time immemorial, but letting the average idiot have the power to do it easily causes more harm.
 
2013-12-30 11:03:05 AM
Yeah, I remember the glory days of the internet, when it was full of ASCII porn and screeching 2400 baud modems, when online shopping and banking were non-existent, when the media was all "there's this thing kids are doing these days called a "web blog", when people used comic sans and backgrounds of clouds for their "electronic mails" and when the little N of Netscape revolving was the closest you got to a site before your dad picked up the phone and you got disconnected.
 
2013-12-30 11:03:17 AM
That article would have been much more enjoyable had the writer inserted GIFS from recent Judd Apatow movies at various intervals in the text to highlight his emotional states (to the betterment of all, I might add).
 
2013-12-30 11:09:02 AM
That took an awful lot of words just to say "wake up sheeple!"
 
2013-12-30 11:09:21 AM

God Is My Co-Pirate: Yeah, I remember the glory days of the internet, when it was full of ASCII porn and screeching 2400 baud modems, when online shopping and banking were non-existent, when the media was all "there's this thing kids are doing these days called a "web blog", when people used comic sans and backgrounds of clouds for their "electronic mails" and when the little N of Netscape revolving was the closest you got to a site before your dad picked up the phone and you got disconnected.


*starts pingflooding your modem with his brand new 14400, then takes over your IRC chatroom and sets it to invite-only*
 
2013-12-30 11:13:28 AM
Stop Everything And Read This Post It Will Change Your Life ZOMG. I Don't Even Know What The Z Stands For. Zebra, Perhaps. Everyone Likes Zebras. Like And Share If You Like Zebras.
 
2013-12-30 11:14:49 AM

Gosling: Stop Everything And Read This Post It Will Change Your Life ZOMG. I Don't Even Know What The Z Stands For. Zebra, Perhaps. Everyone Likes Zebras. Like And Share If You Like Zebras.


One Weird Trick To Get You To Click On Links.

//adblock helps.
 
2013-12-30 11:15:04 AM
No thoughts to think
No tears to cry
All sucked dry
Down to the very last breath
Bartender what is wrong with me
Why am I so out of breath
The captain said excuse me ma'am
This species has amused itself to death
 
2013-12-30 11:16:42 AM
Also: Article writer is under the impression that Eternal September is something that just happened this year.
 
2013-12-30 11:17:49 AM

reillan: God Is My Co-Pirate: Yeah, I remember the glory days of the internet, when it was full of ASCII porn and screeching 2400 baud modems, when online shopping and banking were non-existent, when the media was all "there's this thing kids are doing these days called a "web blog", when people used comic sans and backgrounds of clouds for their "electronic mails" and when the little N of Netscape revolving was the closest you got to a site before your dad picked up the phone and you got disconnected.

*starts pingflooding your modem with his brand new 14400, then takes over your IRC chatroom and sets it to invite-only*


*sends ping of death to your modem, shutting down his system and restoring order to the Universe.*
 
2013-12-30 11:21:08 AM
tldr

Am I the only one to think this guy could have made his point in just a couple of sentences?  Instead we get 3,312 word count (19,763 characters).
 
2013-12-30 11:22:06 AM
ikanreed:

Well, we didn't have people empowered to do this quite so easily before.  It's like letting everyone have guns: people have been killing people since time immemorial, but letting the average idiot have the power to do it easily causes more harm.

Maybe, but they're implying that this is some sort of new phenomenon when it's as old as "Hey Grog, come look at handprint Ug draw on wall."
 
2013-12-30 11:22:17 AM

JMacPA: FTFA: For some, sharing the photos was a statement on global warming. For others, sharing was about the triumph of discovery, making them proud housecats dropping a half-chewed mouse of news on the Internet's doorstep. For most, however, the photos were just another thoughtlessly processed and soon-forgotten item that represented our now-instinctual response to the unrelenting stream of information we're subjected to every waking hour.

Bullshiat.  99% of people just thought it was a cool image and wanted to share it with other people who might think it was cool too.  The exact same thing humans have done ever since we became humans.


But it was perceived as "cool" only because it came with some expectation of being true. I could photoshop a hundred similar images that would all look fake. Would they be cool? Probably not, because they're obviously fake.
 
2013-12-30 11:23:16 AM

impaler: reillan: God Is My Co-Pirate: Yeah, I remember the glory days of the internet, when it was full of ASCII porn and screeching 2400 baud modems, when online shopping and banking were non-existent, when the media was all "there's this thing kids are doing these days called a "web blog", when people used comic sans and backgrounds of clouds for their "electronic mails" and when the little N of Netscape revolving was the closest you got to a site before your dad picked up the phone and you got disconnected.

*starts pingflooding your modem with his brand new 14400, then takes over your IRC chatroom and sets it to invite-only*

*sends ping of death to your modem, shutting down his system and restoring order to the Universe.*


death on flaxen wings

/those were the days
 
2013-12-30 11:25:58 AM
One of the things I like about Fark is the debunking in the comments. I almost always read comments as they often save me from a of facepalm. Perhaps in the future this can be turned into a filter so that when someone attempts to post something to social media that has been thoroughly debunked elsewhere, their Dynamic Shape Display will administer a swift nut-tap.
 
2013-12-30 11:26:10 AM

generallyso: In other words, Comedy Central continues to be a better news outlet than actual news outlets.


So is The Onion.
 
2013-12-30 11:27:32 AM
static2.fjcdn.com
 
2013-12-30 11:27:59 AM

Begoggle: generallyso: In other words, Comedy Central continues to be a better news outlet than actual news outlets.

So is The Onion.


It's not their fault that reality decided to become satire.
 
2013-12-30 11:28:51 AM

Ishkur: Also: Article writer is under the impression that Eternal September is something that just happened this year.


I still think we should simply have executed Cantor & Siegel in some public and grotesque way.  It all would have turned out better, at negligible human cost.
 
2013-12-30 11:31:16 AM
God Is My Co-Pirate: Yeah, I remember the glory days of the internet

Oh how I long for the days of autoblast midi files.  Just because Best Korea created midis to sonically shred the brains of POWs, doesn't mean they're not musically-delicious accompaniment to dancingbaby.gif.

When aliens invade and discover the seizure-inducing carnage that was Geocities, they will rethink the whole probing-human-brains-for-useful-data thing.
 
2013-12-30 11:32:27 AM
Yada, Yada.  Oh, my! Head(ed) for bullshiat & porn?  Where do I sign-up? (drop the dime on the barker?):

www.tackytreasures.com
/suckers
 
2013-12-30 11:34:29 AM
meddleRPI:
But it was perceived as "cool" only because it came with some expectation of being true. I could photoshop a hundred similar images that would all look fake. Would they be cool? Probably not, because they're obviously fake.

Right, but thinking something is cool on the basis that it's real and then finding out later that you were duped is not the same as "thoughtlessly process[ing]  and soon-[forgetting an] item that represent[s] our now-instinctual response to the unrelenting stream of information we're subjected to every waking hour."

It doesn't represent anything new. It's just how people are.
 
2013-12-30 11:34:33 AM
*often save me from a of facepalm  when I accidentally the whole thing.
 
2013-12-30 11:37:49 AM
Good work, 4chan!
 
2013-12-30 11:39:31 AM
Yo back in the day shiat was the best,
I pirated Duke Nukem off a BBS
A pimp with a 486 DX
Deuce double pipe to increase my juice.
 
2013-12-30 11:40:38 AM
Luke O'neil is only about 200 years behind the facts ... because, you know, the MEDIA has never lied to us ..
 
2013-12-30 11:48:18 AM
FTFA: "We're not in the business of publishing hoaxes," [quoth some douchebag from BuzzFeed] "and we feel an enormous responsibility here to provide our readers with accurate, up-to-date information"-which sounds a bit like Altria's health inspector saying they're sorry they gave you cancer.

Brilliant. Perfect. Fitting.
 
2013-12-30 11:49:33 AM

Ishkur: That took an awful lot of words just to say "wake up sheeple!"


Why we love Fark;  "Its not news its bull crap!" Pile it higher and deeper!

"...the media is feckless, garbage is circulated around..." and the Sheeple eat it up and then go vote. Oh, the Humanatee!

Feckless; adj.
lacking initiative or strength of character; irresponsible.
"a feckless mama's boy"
synonyms: useless, worthless, incompetent, inept, good-for-nothing, ne'er-do-well;

Just what we love to see on Fark.com!
 
2013-12-30 11:53:37 AM
jiggitysmith: A pimp with a 486 DX

U tap dat turbo button?

I drawp it like it's hawt.  Too feared the much fast.
 
2013-12-30 12:00:47 PM
Wodan11
tldr

Am I the only one to think this guy could have made his point in just a couple of sentences? Instead we get 3,312 word count (19,763 characters).


Summary:
Quantity >>>> quality on the Internet.
The net gets flooded with hoaxes and garbage because fact-checking and quality content don't generate nearly as much traffic (money) as clickbaity headlines as fluff pieces and exaggerated crap.
Online "news" sources aren't punished for publishing garbage and falling for hoaxes - on the contrary, they're rewarded because they can double-dip by first reporting a hoax and then reporting that it was a hoax.
Result: everything is circling down the drain and the only reason that there's still some quality content is that now and then people get overwhelmed by shame and the realization of the worthlessness of what they're doing.
 
2013-12-30 12:06:53 PM
Kojima was so correct that it hurts.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-30 12:09:06 PM
Another Libtard whining about losing control of the narrative. Meh.
 
2013-12-30 12:09:37 PM
I am probably contributing to the problem when I say: TLDR...

It's sad, especially since I have gotten "reprimanded" for sharing stuff I thought was "cool" or "funny"... b/c as a person in the IT field I should "know better than to share pieces of satire without explicitly deeming it as such b/c people who see [objects I have shared/forwarded] will take what I [shared/forwarded] seriously, due to the fact that I am more computer literate then they" Therefore I am not allowed a sense of humour without now stating that my jokes/interesting finds are just that... You know, b/c people don't think for themselves...

/I skimmed it.
//there is no news anymore... only opinionated diatribe & smoke and mirrors...
//

Swampmaster: Humanatee

 that is farkING ACES... ACES..
 
2013-12-30 12:10:07 PM
Somewhere, a race of highly evolved energy beings are taking furious lab notes whenever someone on the internet clicks on a page and receives no reward.
 
2013-12-30 12:11:19 PM
As much as people complain "I saw this last week on another website" I like the fact that I don't have to filter through all the garbage on other websites.
 
2013-12-30 12:11:30 PM
Oh no, somebody disrespected pyramids! Generally speaking, the pyramids rank among the most overrated attractions in the world, mainly because the Greks included them in the "seven wonders of the world". The truth is that it is not terribly difficult to build a pyramid if you can use the free labor of thousands of slaves. Ultimately, it is just a pile of rocks.
 
2013-12-30 12:13:13 PM
So....it's not news? Then what the hell exactly is it? Also, 25 articles a week? shiat I have difficulty coming up with 3 worthwhile things to share on my company's FB page and Pinterest accounts each week. Of course mine have to be in a narrow scope, not unsubstantiated celebrity gossip, which accounts for the difference.
 
2013-12-30 12:20:02 PM

LewDux: Oh no, somebody disrespected pyramids! Generally speaking, the pyramids rank among the most overrated attractions in the world, mainly because the Greks included them in the "seven wonders of the world". The truth is that it is not terribly difficult to build a pyramid if you can use the free labor of thousands of slaves. Ultimately, it is just a pile of rocks.


Well this is a new topic to troll on.
 
2013-12-30 12:24:07 PM
The internet hit it's peak around 2006 or so. It seemed like the perfect ratio of news, useful resources, humor, and efficiency.

Now it's all just derp, scams, and cat pictures.
 
2013-12-30 12:25:58 PM

God Is My Co-Pirate: Yeah, I remember the glory days of the internet, when it was full of ASCII porn and screeching 2400 baud modems, when online shopping and banking were non-existent, when the media was all "there's this thing kids are doing these days called a "web blog", when people used comic sans and backgrounds of clouds for their "electronic mails" and when the little N of Netscape revolving was the closest you got to a site before your dad picked up the phone and you got disconnected.


In those days, the only software you could realistically download were BASIC programs.  You could watch the code come down line by line.  Then, assuming you knew how, you could modify them to your heart's content.

This was also the days of the BBS, when it was a big deal for the sysop to actually make contact with you.  And private messages on such systems were an awesome new thing.
 
2013-12-30 12:29:10 PM

Swampmaster: Ishkur: That took an awful lot of words just to say "wake up sheeple!"

Why we love Fark;  "Its not news its bull crap!" Pile it higher and deeper!

"...the media is feckless, garbage is circulated around..." and the Sheeple eat it up and then go vote. Oh, the Humanatee!

Feckless; adj.
lacking initiative or strength of character; irresponsible.
"a feckless mama's boy"
synonyms: useless, worthless, incompetent, inept, good-for-nothing, ne'er-do-well;

Just what we love to see on Fark.com!


And then there is this:

"That's the secret that Upworthy, BuzzFeed, MailOnline, Viral Nova, and their dozens of knockoffs have figured out: You don't need to write anymore-just write a good headline and point. If what you're pointing at turns out to be a steaming turd, well, then repackage the steam and sell it back to us."
 
2013-12-30 12:31:18 PM
Not news: poor signal:noise on the internet.

Has Rick Romero reported on this yet?
 
2013-12-30 12:35:04 PM

steveGswine: I still think we should simply have executed Cantor & Siegel in some public and grotesque way. It all would have turned out better, at negligible human cost.


One of them is already dead. Died of cancer back in the 90s. Fitting. Dunno where the other one is. But yeah.... green card lottery really screwed the pooch.
 
2013-12-30 12:35:36 PM

Purdue_Pete: No thoughts to think
No tears to cry
All sucked dry
Down to the very last breath
Bartender what is wrong with me
Why am I so out of breath
The captain said excuse me ma'am
This species has amused itself to death


The monkey in the corner, wrote the joke down in his book.
 
2013-12-30 12:37:08 PM

God Is My Co-Pirate: Yeah, I remember the glory days of the internet, when it was full of ASCII porn and screeching 2400 baud modems, when online shopping and banking were non-existent, when the media was all "there's this thing kids are doing these days called a "web blog", when people used comic sans and backgrounds of clouds for their "electronic mails" and when the little N of Netscape revolving was the closest you got to a site before your dad picked up the phone and you got disconnected.


I've got a copy of uudecode around here somewhere, just a sec...
 
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