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(Click Orlando)   Peter Parker hits rock bottom   (clickorlando.com) divider line 43
    More: Florida, Central Florida, Spider-Man, St. Cloud, safe area, Crimeline, Osceola County  
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9527 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Dec 2013 at 10:53 AM (50 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-30 10:24:17 AM  
I usually don't do this, but I can't resist:

My headline was better three days ago.
 
2013-12-30 10:30:20 AM  
isn't Parker dead?  or did that get Quesdaed?
 
2013-12-30 10:32:20 AM  

ManateeGag: isn't Parker dead?  or did that get Quesdaed?


Yeah, what the hell happened there?  I was reading a Spiderman tie in to Infinity and Spidey was Doc Ock?
 
2013-12-30 10:57:04 AM  
With mediocre power comes petty larceny.
 
2013-12-30 10:59:25 AM  

Diogenes: ManateeGag: isn't Parker dead?  or did that get Quesdaed?

Yeah, what the hell happened there?  I was reading a Spiderman tie in to Infinity and Spidey was Doc Ock?


 You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.
 
2013-12-30 10:59:26 AM  

Diogenes: ManateeGag: isn't Parker dead?  or did that get Quesdaed?

Yeah, what the hell happened there?  I was reading a Spiderman tie in to Infinity and Spidey was Doc Ock?


maybe I'm thinking Ultimate Universe.
 
2013-12-30 10:59:38 AM  
We owe J.J.J. An apology.
 
2013-12-30 11:00:10 AM  

Diogenes: ManateeGag: isn't Parker dead?  or did that get Quesdaed?

Yeah, what the hell happened there?  I was reading a Spiderman tie in to Infinity and Spidey was Doc Ock?


A year ago Parker and Doc Ock switched minds and Parker died while in the body of Doc Ock.
 
2013-12-30 11:00:57 AM  
So sad. He can't even afford to maintain his web-shooters and he's resorted to using a machete like some hack third-world villain.
 
2013-12-30 11:01:34 AM  

Diogenes: ManateeGag: isn't Parker dead?  or did that get Quesdaed?

Yeah, what the hell happened there?  I was reading a Spiderman tie in to Infinity and Spidey was Doc Ock?


Ultimate Peter Parker is dead.

Regular Universe Spider-man is Doctor Octopus in Spider-man's body for stupid reasons.
 
2013-12-30 11:03:39 AM  

Latinwolf: Diogenes: ManateeGag: isn't Parker dead?  or did that get Quesdaed?

Yeah, what the hell happened there?  I was reading a Spiderman tie in to Infinity and Spidey was Doc Ock?

A year ago Parker and Doc Ock switched minds and Parker died while in the body of Doc Ock.


I guess that would make me want to stab people with a machete, too.
 
2013-12-30 11:03:44 AM  
Fools! It was probably Punisher in disguise.
 
2013-12-30 11:04:28 AM  
Already hunting down the malefactors:

mindlessones.com
 
2013-12-30 11:09:08 AM  

Latinwolf: Diogenes: ManateeGag: isn't Parker dead?  or did that get Quesdaed?

Yeah, what the hell happened there?  I was reading a Spiderman tie in to Infinity and Spidey was Doc Ock?

A year ago Parker and Doc Ock switched minds and Parker died while in the body of Doc Ock.


THIS.
And t has been a LOAD of fun.
Don't bring Parker back.
 
2013-12-30 11:10:03 AM  
"If you're a single mom coming back from a holiday party or family, and you stop at the store to get something real quick -- and having my kids with me -- it's frightening," said Ann Stull.

Obviously her ex, trying to scare her into getting back together.  Although I lost track of the color scheme with the gloves and stuff. Anyone read The Red Badge of Courage?
 
2013-12-30 11:13:23 AM  
img04.imgland.net
 
2013-12-30 11:15:37 AM  
Oh. I thought it was a gay porn parody where Spider-Man cornholes The Thing.

/hey, it couldn't be any worse than the average episode of Agents of Shield.
 
2013-12-30 11:17:57 AM  
Later that day.....

factsvillage.com
 
2013-12-30 11:24:56 AM  
You do realize that the article's author, Daniel Dahm, is most like a pseudonymn for J Jameson? Has anyone considered that Spidey was actually there to break up a crime?
 
2013-12-30 11:29:21 AM  

Latinwolf: Diogenes: ManateeGag: isn't Parker dead?  or did that get Quesdaed?

Yeah, what the hell happened there?  I was reading a Spiderman tie in to Infinity and Spidey was Doc Ock?

A year ago Parker and Doc Ock switched minds and Parker died while in the body of Doc Ock.


And they haven't bothered to retcon it yet either, which is the most retarded thing ever if you ask me.... well after maybe bringing Barry Allen back and shelving Wally West.
 
2013-12-30 11:55:30 AM  

Apos: Later that day.....

[factsvillage.com image 179x137]


Watching that to the tune of "Bad Romance" is cracking me up.
 
2013-12-30 11:57:47 AM  
The guy has spent the last 20yrs in collage and can still only get a part time job as a photographer.
 
2013-12-30 12:02:09 PM  
geeks!!LOL
 
2013-12-30 12:14:58 PM  

Zombie DJ: Latinwolf: Diogenes: ManateeGag: isn't Parker dead?  or did that get Quesdaed?

Yeah, what the hell happened there?  I was reading a Spiderman tie in to Infinity and Spidey was Doc Ock?

A year ago Parker and Doc Ock switched minds and Parker died while in the body of Doc Ock.

THIS.
And t has been a LOAD of fun.
Don't bring Parker back.


I hate Ock. I hate Ock more now than I ever did when he was in his own body. He's a major-league asshole. He has basically turned Spider-Man into a super villain and ostracized all of Peter's friends and family. He has done more to damage Parker's name than the Chameleon, Prof. Warren, or Norman Osborn ever did.

I have been following Superior Spider-Man because it's Spider-Man and I keep hoping they'll fix everything. I hate what Slott is doing with Superior, because he's tarnishing everything Peter Parker has stood for in a very short time. IF Pete ever comes back, he will be coming back to a mess. His friendships will all be destroyed. His career will be pointed in a direction he never desired. His family ties will be damaged. He will be dating a midget and leading a Spider Island full of henchmen. He will have lost the admiration and respect of every single member of the super hero community. His name will be tarnished beyond anything that has ever happened to him before.

I loathe Doc Ock now. If Slott accomplished one thing, it was to make me hate Ock more than I ever hated him in the entire run of Amazing Spider-Man.
 
2013-12-30 12:20:39 PM  
"If you're a single mom coming back from a holiday party or family, and you stop at the store to get something real quick -- and having my kids with me -- it's frightening," said Ann Stull.

I'm not a single mom, but getting something real quick- Nestle's, or a laser pointer or jet pack- and Ann Stull has kids with her, is frightening?  Makes sense.  Maybe could have been stated more clearly.
 
2013-12-30 12:21:59 PM  
♪♫♪♫ Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a Spiderman can... Does he rob convenience stores? Yes he does, using a machete he hordes. ♫♪♫♪
 
2013-12-30 12:23:08 PM  

stuffy: The guy has spent the last 20yrs in collage and can still only get a part time job as a photographer.



Parker has been out of college for decades. He graduated in issue #185, which is dated October, 1978.


www.samruby.com


He also hasn't been a photographer for a very long time. When Parker was last "alive", he was one of the top inventors / researchers at a major technology company (basically a Samsung / Apple / Microsoft kind of place). Prior to that, he was a high school science teacher, worked for Tony Stark as a research assistant, and published a book of his Spider-Man photos.

So, um... way to go with your joke that has been outdated for about  35 years.
 
2013-12-30 12:24:12 PM  
Spiderpig, Spiderpig, does whatever a spiderpig does
Can he swing from a web?
No he can't, cause he's a pig
Lookout!
He is the Spiderpig!
 
2013-12-30 12:35:29 PM  

ZeroCorpse: Zombie DJ: Latinwolf: Diogenes: ManateeGag: isn't Parker dead?  or did that get Quesdaed?

Yeah, what the hell happened there?  I was reading a Spiderman tie in to Infinity and Spidey was Doc Ock?

A year ago Parker and Doc Ock switched minds and Parker died while in the body of Doc Ock.

THIS.
And t has been a LOAD of fun.
Don't bring Parker back.

I hate Ock. I hate Ock more now than I ever did when he was in his own body. He's a major-league asshole. He has basically turned Spider-Man into a super villain and ostracized all of Peter's friends and family. He has done more to damage Parker's name than the Chameleon, Prof. Warren, or Norman Osborn ever did.

I have been following Superior Spider-Man because it's Spider-Man and I keep hoping they'll fix everything. I hate what Slott is doing with Superior, because he's tarnishing everything Peter Parker has stood for in a very short time. IF Pete ever comes back, he will be coming back to a mess. His friendships will all be destroyed. His career will be pointed in a direction he never desired. His family ties will be damaged. He will be dating a midget and leading a Spider Island full of henchmen. He will have lost the admiration and respect of every single member of the super hero community. His name will be tarnished beyond anything that has ever happened to him before.

I loathe Doc Ock now. If Slott accomplished one thing, it was to make me hate Ock more than I ever hated him in the entire run of Amazing Spider-Man.


I haven't read any of the Spiderman series since before that Parker Ock switch, and none since, having only seen the character in the Avengers, and he acts like a dick towards most of his teammates.
BTW, who's the midget?
 
2013-12-30 12:41:35 PM  

ZeroCorpse: stuffy: The guy has spent the last 20yrs in collage and can still only get a part time job as a photographer.


Parker has been out of college for decades. He graduated in issue #185, which is dated October, 1978.


[www.samruby.com image 486x738]


He also hasn't been a photographer for a very long time. When Parker was last "alive", he was one of the top inventors / researchers at a major technology company (basically a Samsung / Apple / Microsoft kind of place). Prior to that, he was a high school science teacher, worked for Tony Stark as a research assistant, and published a book of his Spider-Man photos.

So, um... way to go with your joke that has been outdated for about  35 years.


Hey this is Fark, where nerds use jokes that were around before they were born.
 
2013-12-30 12:47:09 PM  
Peter Parker packed a pair of pickled pipers.


Or something.
 
2013-12-30 12:50:26 PM  

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.comThe water was cold: Spiderpig, Spiderpig, does whatever a spiderpig does
Can he swing from a web?
No he can't, cause he's a pig
Lookout!
He is the Spiderpig!

 
2013-12-30 12:54:36 PM  
For those of you who have not yet seen the new Ultimate Spider-Man cartoon: it is entertaining, and the first two seasons are one Netflix on demand. :)
 
2013-12-30 01:32:12 PM  

tlars699: For those of you who have not yet seen the new Ultimate Spider-Man cartoon: it is entertaining, and the first two seasons are one Netflix on demand. :)


Ugh, no. They set up an action scene, then slam on the brakes HARD multiple times for a dumb, quick 4th wall joke. Ruins the flow, ruins the rhythm, and a lot of the voice acting is pretty bad.
 
2013-12-30 01:42:31 PM  
Yeah, Spider-Man's gone downhill ever since Doc Ock killed him and started going around, wearing his skin like a suit in public. :-(
 
2013-12-30 01:45:37 PM  

Latinwolf: ZeroCorpse: Zombie DJ: Latinwolf: Diogenes: ManateeGag: isn't Parker dead?  or did that get Quesdaed?

Yeah, what the hell happened there?  I was reading a Spiderman tie in to Infinity and Spidey was Doc Ock?

I haven't read any of the Spiderman series since before that Parker Ock switch, and none since, having only seen the character in the Avengers, and he acts like a dick towards most of his teammates.
BTW, who's the midget?


Ock (as Peter) decided to go back to school for a few classes to get Parker's Doctorate. While there, he met a little person named Anna Maria, and he fell for her. She's his business partner and girlfriend. He even took her to meet Aunt May and got all pissed off and in Aunt May's face when May asked some slightly politically-incorrect (but polite and genuinely curious) questions. He blew up. He was downright nasty to Aunt May.

Keep in mind that this is Otto Octavius, who previously dated and nearly married Aunt May, but who is now playing the role of her nephew/adopted son, Peter.

So this is all kinds of f'd up.

He did eventually get Parker's Doctorate (so yes, he's Doctor Parker now), but he only did so after threatening the life of one of his professors who had an old association with Otto and believed Parker was stealing ideas from Octavius.

Along with Anna Maria, Parker-Ock has started a tech company called Parker Industries.
 
2013-12-30 01:48:40 PM  

Latinwolf: ZeroCorpse: stuffy: The guy has spent the last 20yrs in collage and can still only get a part time job as a photographer.


Parker has been out of college for decades. He graduated in issue #185, which is dated October, 1978.


[www.samruby.com image 486x738]


He also hasn't been a photographer for a very long time. When Parker was last "alive", he was one of the top inventors / researchers at a major technology company (basically a Samsung / Apple / Microsoft kind of place). Prior to that, he was a high school science teacher, worked for Tony Stark as a research assistant, and published a book of his Spider-Man photos.

So, um... way to go with your joke that has been outdated for about  35 years.

Hey this is Fark, where nerds use jokes that were around before they were born.


Well, actually... I skipped the part where Ock (as Parker) went back to college for a few classes to get Parker's Doctorate. It wasn't full-time enrollment (apparently Parker left not long before he would have gotten his Doctorate) but it WAS, technically Peter in college this year.

He's out already. He has his Doctorate. He won't be going back to school again, I suspect... Unless it's as a professor.


Trocadero: tlars699: For those of you who have not yet seen the new Ultimate Spider-Man cartoon: it is entertaining, and the first two seasons are one Netflix on demand. :)

Ugh, no. They set up an action scene, then slam on the brakes HARD multiple times for a dumb, quick 4th wall joke. Ruins the flow, ruins the rhythm, and a lot of the voice acting is pretty bad.


I keep trying to watch it, but you describe EXACTLY why I end up hating it after every episode. I sincerely hate Man of Action after this show. The jokes aren't even funny; They're just lame.
 
2013-12-30 01:55:41 PM  
ts1.mm.bing.net

Wow!  2 corn dogs for $3.  Not too shabby.
 
2013-12-30 02:38:05 PM  
Can't blame Pete on this one--his mind and body have been taken over by Otto Octavius for about a year now.

/Superior Spider-Man
//The More You Know
 
2013-12-30 02:41:21 PM  

Nickster79: Can't blame Pete on this one--his mind and body have been taken over by Otto Octavius for about a year now.

/Superior Spider-Man
//The More You Know


Have they done any softcore midget porn yet?
 
2013-12-30 02:52:27 PM  

KellyX: Nickster79: Can't blame Pete on this one--his mind and body have been taken over by Otto Octavius for about a year now.

/Superior Spider-Man
//The More You Know

Have they done any softcore midget porn yet?


It was implied (as in, it totally happened under a giant aquarium but off panel) a few issues back.
 
2013-12-30 07:17:00 PM  

broken jebus: [ts1.mm.bing.net image 272x168]

Wow!  2 corn dogs for $3.  Not too shabby.


See how crime doesn't pay, I bought a box of 16 corn dogs for $5.79.  Sure I have to cook them myself, but I know the cook washed his hands.
 
2013-12-31 12:59:57 AM  
See, this is what happens when you make Spiderman black.
 
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